#i've been so quiet lately and now i feel guilty about tagging after being so silent

[purrplegyuu]

Cold | Choi Beomgyu

Index

Chapter five

Warnings: beomgyu's not soft anymore, explicit content, not finished smut, reader crying while having sex.

Word count: 1.5k

Taglist: @arianap23e, @haatohwa

Hii! I've been really busy this week, that's why I uploaded the chapter one day after I should. So sorry.

However, you know I'm not a native speaker, so make sure you let me know about any mistake I make. Thank you so much for supporting me. If you want to be added to the tag list, make sure you let me know.

When I received a message from Beomgyu ten minutes ago asking me to go to his room as soon as possible, I was hoping nothing but to see him being soft again. I was at Jiwoo’s house when that happened. 

I told her I needed to go—even if she said she missed me at school on Monday, even if I was helping her with one of the maths topics she asked for because she knows I saw that topic last year, even if she asked me not to leave; I left, walking home with a weird excitement I only have when I want something good to happen but I deeply know something wrong will happen.

Beomgyu looks at me darkly when I finally get home. He’s silent one more time, but I don’t feel this softness from yesterday. I walk towards him, although I’m never the one getting close to him. “You took so long,” He hisses. “I’m sorry, I was at-” He interrupts me. “Take off your clothes” I look at him, suddenly trembling while my heart aches like a knife has just sunk into it. I hardly swallow as a knot appears in my throat. “I’ll be waiting in my room” He goes upstairs, leaving me all alone and making me feel guilty, like I’ve done something wrong. I go to my room first, taking my clothes off and letting them in my bed, turning around to see myself in the full body mirror of my room. Why do I feel so bad if I love him that much? Maybe because I don’t want him to fuck me once again—because I don’t want to know that I’m nothing but a whore. His whore. Then, why am I walking towards his room? Why don’t I run away as fast as I can? Do I even need to?... He’s never forced me to do anything… I have always been the one forcing myself. Because I love him. I wonder if this strength I have been trying to forge in order to show myself I have at least a bit of self-love has faded because of those short moments of softness I passed by his side. When I stand right in front of him, quiet and trembling… I understand that I’m under his power once again. He looks at me from his chair. His eyes move from my neck, my small breasts, my arms, my belly button, my thin legs, and my hips. I almost believe he loves me. That’s the moment he tells me to walk towards him. I don’t even mind closing the door as I already know our parents aren’t home and aren’t going to be home until it’s late and until we’re over. He looks at me, lifting his face since he is still sitting on his chair. His hands land on my hips, right before he pulls me a little bit closer just to leave a kiss on my lower abdomen. A chill runs down my back. He takes my hand with his right hand while the other one holds my hip, guiding me towards his lap. Each leg on each side of his body. He hugs my waist now, and I find support on the back of the chair. His lips meet my cheek. Then, he kisses my neck a few times, some more kisses on my clavicles and shoulder, and all I can think about is if he’s going to kiss me—because it is strangely what we do the least. His black skinny jeans meet my slit, making me moan highly because of the scratchy fabric against my sensitive skin and also because of the sudden contact. He looks down as his hands make me move above him, back and forward, not giving me time to get used to it. I feel my cunt drooling above him, wetting his jeans until there’s a dark patch on his jeans. He unbuttons his jeans, lowering along with his boxers just a little bit, until his dick’s standing against my tummy, rock hard and drooling pre-cum. He takes my hips, angling my body until his cock meets my slit. He moves my hips up and down, rubbing his cock against my slit—from my clitoris to my entrance, once and another time. On and on, until I’m breathless, a knot forming on my lower abdomen. But I still cannot hear him moaning, sighing, or even breathing. When I open my eyes, I find him looking at me. The tip of his pretty nose all red. I look up at the rest of his face—his shiny eyes and the top of his cheeks red like he had just cried or was about to before I came. And I don’t really know why but something inside me cannot do anything but blame his mother. Because, suddenly, she became the culprit of any bad thing that could ever happen to him.

Without even thinking about it, my hands pull away his hands, and then, they go to his face, caressing the soft skin of his pink cheeks. He looks at me confused, frowning at my unusual behavior.

“What’re you doing?” His voice sounds way softer than minutes before.

“Is it your mother?” I ask, but not actually waiting for a response. He looks at me surprised, and after a blink, I look at his eyes growing red and shiny. Then, I pass my hands over his shoulders, hugging his neck tightly, feeling him sighing. After some seconds of being this way, I can even say he’s crying.

However, I suddenly feel his hands taking mine tightly. I look at him confused—not even a tear on any part of his face. He forces me to stand up, doing the same himself, making me wonder if I crossed the line. He pushes me to the bed strongly, making me bounce because of the force he used. And when he positions himself right above me, everything I see in his face is hate.

Hate. The same hate I’ve ever seen on him. When he talked to me the first time we met at our parent’s wedding; every time we met each other at school; when our parents forced us to eat dinner together as a family;… when he entered my room at midnight and stole my virginity without even faking love.

The night right before that, I was sure that you couldn’t have sex for the first time without even kissing someone before. How dumb.

And every single time after that. The same hate, the same rage, the same resentment—just like I did something to him before.

But everything I do is loving him until I’m loving him more than myself.

I wonder once again if that’s what I want for my life—that unjustified hatred; the fear of what’s going to be his following action; his coldness; being always quiet, even if it hurts agonizingly when he pounds on my vagina the way he does, hitting my cervix once and again without even prepping me well.

Is that what I want for the rest of my life?...

Yes.

My tears roll easily all over my face, falling to his bed as his dick hits my cervix nonstop, but despite the great pleasure I feel, it doesn’t feel very good. I’m overwhelmed by a large amount of destructive thoughts I thought for a minute I would never have again because ‘Beomgyu is acting differently’. But he’s not anymore.

I close my eyes strongly, trying to deal with it, until I’m audibly sobbing beneath him. I try to cover my face with my arm, but he takes both of my hands, using his strength to force them above my head tightly.

I cried many times from pleasure, but right now… It just doesn't feel great.

“Stop,” I say. It’s always been hard for me to talk when I’m crying. But he doesn’t stop. “Stop!” I'm yelling. “Beomgyu, stop! Stop, I don’t want to anymore!” He lets my hands go as fast as he can and takes his dick out of me.

I cover my face with my hands trying to calm myself, until I find out I can’t because I need to cry everything away.

“Jeongseo” I hear his voice, and then, his hand touches my arm, making me jump from fear. I look at him, looking like he’s feeling guilty and scared at the same time. But what can I do? I already trusted him many times before, and every time I’m back on his bed, I understand once again that he will never change.

But that doesn’t really matter because after I ran away to my bedroom, I realize this is not the first time it happens. I’m trapped in this never-ending cycle, not actually wishing for it to break because everything I can think about is all the good moments, the nice feelings, him.

[katierosefun]

tagged by @b1uetrees! thank you for the tag buddy!

do you make your bed? i try, the operating word being try. i used to be really good at making my bed, but for the last few weeks, i've been lucky to just straighten out my sheets and pile my pillows on the right way before darting around to make myself breakfast and wash my face.

what's your favourite number? i've always really liked 12 for some reason. maybe because i associate it with the year of the dragon, which is the zodiac year i'm born in?

what is your job? i'm a second-year law student. i think the closest i have to a job right now is that i'm a student attorney (which has been very exciting, because it's definitely aligned with what i want to do after graduation), and this coming summer, i'll be working at a law firm (which is also exciting. everyone pray i don't screw up)

If you could go back to school would you? i mean, would i pursue more education after getting my current degree? i'm not sure. i've played with the idea of getting an mfa for a while now, but also? i think mfa's cost so much money, and the rewards aren't always very tangible. so it depends on how financially comfortable i am and if i can figure out a way to get into publishing without an mfa haha!

can you parallel park? i don't know how to drive, so nope

a job you had that would surprise people? i always get questions about what the heck a costume stock keeper does, but for a short while, i was a costume stock keeper. which basically meant that i organized the costume stock room in my college's theater department. it was really cool, because we had a huge stock room, and my bosses were people who actually worked in a lot of really cool movies, so that was neat!

do you think aliens are real? i have to think so! like, the universe is so big--how can there not be other things out there?

can you drive a manual car? i can drive a golf car. does that count?

what's your guilty pleasure? not really certain if i feel guilty about this yet . . . i guess watching kinda bad old kdramas? (like . . . i know there are some tropes that we've left behind in the early 2010s/early 2000s, but what can i say--some classics are classics, even if some of the stories wouldn't fly in 2024.)

tattoos? none right now, although i've been wondering if i want to get a tattoo before i graduate law school. i think i want to get a constellation somewhere on my bicep. but also, i get so scared of something being permanent and how skin changes over the years, so maybe not :/

favourite colour? i'm currently digging really deep greens lately!

favourite type of music? i think i've been really loving a lot of moody ballads and alternative rock . . . and also whatever the hell the music in alien stage is right now!

do you like puzzles? nope--i'm not patient enough for puzzles a;shdfasdf

any phobias? i am terrified of spiders. i don't care if they're smaller than me--they have eight legs, i have two, and also the way they move freaks me out so much oh my god why do they move like that ! !!

favourite childhood sport? i really liked to swim as a kid, and i still do

do you talk to yourself? yeah--mostly when i'm annoyed or stressed. i've been known to quickly mute myself on zoom meetings or make more of an effort to just shut my mouth whenever i'm waiting for someone to come onto zoom, because i once started muttering "jesus christ, what a way to make a first impression--i can't believe you're late" and i didn't realize that there was? a little thing that was? making a transcript of everything i was muttering? if my boss ever read that transcript, they've been kind enough to never mention it--so!!!! anyways!!! i'm working on that lol

what movie(s) do you adore? i really love kogonada's films (columbus and after yang are probably the major ones), and i also love the korean adaptation of little forest. and also beginners. in general, i think i love films with a lot of green coloring and also just enough moments of quiet to make you feel comforted! or at least--better said--i like movies that feel like you've had a conversation with someone.

coffee or tea? coffee for when i want to wake up and tea for when i want to wind down!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? a writer :) or, at the very least, a well-known storyteller.

no pressure tags: @kckenobi @lightasthesun @l-tyrell @reese-haleth

[tinycutefauna]

Tagged

@mothgane tagged me so here I am. Thanks for the tag, sweetie.

rules : answer 20 questions and tag 20 ppl u wanna know better !

name : E

zodiac sign : Taurus

height : hhhhhhh about 5′2/5′3

languages spoken : English, Urdu, technically Arabic coz I can read and write it (I just don’t understand it)

nationality : Take a wild guess

fave fruit : Mangos and mandarins in summer and winter respectively

fave scent : the scent of warm clothes after they’re worn or the scent of Arabian Jasmines, hard to pick

fave color : Sapphire blue

fave animal : Cats. I honestly adore them with all my heart, you cannot understand how much I love cats until you see my moon over their photos and interrupt myself when I see one

coffee, tea or hot chocolate : Green tea with Moroccan Mint is good but hot chocolate is where its at for me

fave fictional character : probably Lance Mcclain from Voltron, I guess

dream trip : Japan sounds cool but I’d like to go to the valleys of Gilgit-Baltistan too. Though, tbh, travelling isn’t something I’m super engrossed in and I’m fine not doing it.

song u have on repeat : both Baazi by Sahir Ali Bagga and Aima Baig and the Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

when was ur blog created : it was either around the end of 2016 or the start of 2017, can’t be sure

what was the last movie u saw : Mission Impossible Fallout in the cinema

fave candy : I dunno, I don’t usually it. I prefer milk chocolate

fave holiday : Eid

So, 20+ people I’m tagging: @jollykittenbanana, @lex-is-tired, @forsakenangel88, @plumeriafairy14, @amazingleyawesome, @bogpal, @coalmuffin, @scarlett-nighten, @gayanime, @tendous-satoris, @meiyanaalexia, @chyeahlex16, @azarathianscribbles, @jewishmatt, @starrys0ul, @spider-plants, @cito-arescit-lacrima, @bri-loves-sunflowers, @orollyitsjeremyheere, @piediekai, @bibipidgeypie, @abbibitha, @bleased. I started off with my old mutuals and then went on to whoever’s around right now and whoops, I’m already over 20. So um, haven’t talked to anyone in quite a while so hello old mutuals, hi to mutuals I haven’t talked to and um, just remember that you don’t have to this if you want to. Sorry to anyone’s who’s been left out, consider yourself tagged if you want to. And, yeah...have fun.

[thefallennightmare]

Guilt-Twenty Eight

Pairings: Andy Barber x Reader

Warnings: fluff, mostly angst, swearing, and some implied smut here and there.

Summary: When a murder hits the small-town reader lives in and personally attacks the family she works for, she would never image the toll that it would take on her as well. But not for the reason people would think. The last thing Reader thought she would find herself in during the murder trial was falling in love with her boss, Andy Barber and him returning those feelings.

Authors Note: It's been a bit since I've updated so here ya go! Tags are open!

Tags: @emimaki @liecastillo @patzammit @evansgal @posiemax @iamemy4 @falling-solar-system @tothemoonandbackx3000 @beckygirl95 @artis1979 @mommad @jennamarieee623 @mansaaay @bellaireland1981 @torntaltos @greeneyedblondie44 @yosoysere @lowkeysebby @dissapointmentofthefam @mansaaay @moonie-brbs @winterberryfox @kookie-sun0097 @bellahadidrealgf @speedy-object-dream @keepcalmandbeajunkie @hollybee8917

I tossed my keys onto the kitchen counter and gazed around the quiet, empty house. My lips pursued in confusion, wondering where Andy was. The text he had sent me a few hours ago indicated that he would be home by now, but it was clear that no one was in fact home.

“Andy? Jacob?” I yelled.

Silence echoed back to me and I was ready to call Andy, but my gaze fell on a scene through the window that led to the backyard that melted my heart.

The slight chill brought chills to my skin when I stepped outside, a large smile pulling to my lips.

Andy was sitting at a table that was scattered with candles and a freshly made dinner. The lights from outside were on and bright, covering him in an almost angelic glow. He was giving me a smirk; clearly happy he had pulled off this surprise.

“What’s this?” I questioned.

He stood and extended a hand towards me, leading me towards the table.

“I felt guilty for being so busy the last few weeks and wanted to surprise you with a date night at home,” Andy admitted while pushing in my chair.

Ever since we returned from Mexico, Andy had been swamped at work. Since the charges against Jacob were cleared, Andy was able to return to work, which meant he had a high stack of caseloads waiting for him on his desk. He would leave early in the mornings and return late at night which meant less time for us. I had managed to keep myself busy, however, with getting back into my old schedule of working around his house. The only difference was that I wasn’t getting paid. I didn't mind, at first, but after his house was clean, I spent the rest of the day looking for jobs.

With no luck.

Needless to say, I was getting stressed and with every offer from Andy for lending me money, I declined. We were dating now, it felt weird to get paid for cleaning up my own mess and doing my own laundry.

I haven’t officially moved in, but I did spend a few days and nights here then going back to my apartment to finish the week.

We didn’t want to move too fast, especially with Jacob who decided to live with Andy.

Jacob took the news about the divorce surprisingly well and while he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to see both of his parents at the same time anymore, he was happy that Andy was finally happy again.

“You both deserve to be happy and if Y/N is who makes you happy, then you deserve it. Mom will find hers someday.”

His words warmed my heart.

Jacob was visiting his mom this weekend, the new custody agreement going into effect. It wasn’t court ordered, Andy and Laurie agreeing to it on their own.

Their divorce was almost finalized, the last six months being stressful in wondering if she would fight him for anything. Thankfully, even with everything that happened, she was easy to agree with.

Andy got the house while she was able to keep their lake house, which was only a few hours' drive from one another which was easy for Jacob. He would stay with Andy one week and her the next during the summer and while he finished his senior year, Jacob would only visit Laurie on the weekends.

The reason why it took so long for Andy and Laurie to agree on this agreement was because he wanted her to settle in her new life and get the best help she needed before Jacob would be staying with her. Which she did.

It made the both of us happy that she was taking everything so well, giving the way that Andy and I had gotten together. She could have taken everything from him but didn’t. We thought that she wanted to move past everything and start fresh.

If we only knew what was about to come.

“You didn’t have to do all this. I would have been fine with a movie night on the couch,” I smiled towards the set up.

Andy sat in his previous spot, a smile still on his face. “You deserve it all, sweetheart.”

Our dinner passed with usual comfort, us talking about how our days went, and when he continued to watch me with love behind his eyes, I raised my brow at him.

“You know,” I set my wine glass down after taking a sip, “You seem giddy about something.”

Andy remained silent as he reached behind him and slid a stack of papers towards me. The first thing my gaze fell on were the two signatures at the bottom of the page.

“Is this-?”

“The divorce is officially finalized.” Andy interrupted.

My heart thumped in my chest, knowing that I could finally breathe a soft sigh of relief. Everything was finalized and there was nothing I had to be worried about any longer. The guilt of dating a married man was no more, we could continue with our relationship with no more strings attached.

I leaned over the table and placed a firm, loving kiss on his lips, one that Andy had no problem returning. When I sat back in my chair, he linked our fingers together.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to finally realize what I truly wanted, and I can’t apologize enough for the hurt I caused you in the process,” Andy vocalized with sorrow.

I gave his hand a squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize anymore, Andy.”

He shook his head in response. “I’m glad that you continued to love me after all that.”

I lifted his hand and grazed my lips over his knuckles.

“You were my anchor during the trial and the aftermath, never leaving my side. There’s no way I could ever repay that,” Andy admitted.

It was my turn to shake my head. “I chose to do all of that. I chose to stay by your side to help you through it and I’ll continue too. You’ll never have to suffer through something like that again.”

“I love you,” Andy mused.

“I love you too,” I proclaimed with a kiss on his lips.

The cloud around us was vaporized when his phone went off, indicating a new message. His expression went from one filled with love to concern.

“Everything alright?”

Andy sighed while running a hand over his face. “It’s Jacob. He’s wondering if I could pick him up tomorrow after his haircut. Laurie is going to take him, but she can’t bring him back. But I’m in court all day tomorrow.”

“I can go pick him up,” I shrugged as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.

He thanked me with a kiss to the side of my head and as we continued our relaxing night, neither of us knew the hell that would be brought to us in less than twenty-four hours.

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously.  Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

--

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

--

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.

[jpat82]

Of Mice and Hundred Year Old Men

Me & M’Boy

A/n: talks of a mouse in a trap.

    You kicked your shoes off by the front door, happy to be home after a long day down at the store you worked at part time. Christmas decor had been pouring in like crazy and the lady who owned it had been holding off till after Halloween to put them out and now it felt like Christmas was everywhere. You left out a heavy sigh, the house was quiet, no doubt both men were off helping down at Hershel's in preparation for the cold weather and the holidays.

    Wandering your way into the kitchen to make a warm cup of hot chocolate you noticed that there was a note on the table under a bowl of apples. You pulled it out while walking to the fridge, Steve jotted down that he would be home shortly he wasn't going to be as late as Bucky was. Smiling to yourself you set the milk container on the counter along with the cocoa powder you had retrieved from the cupboard.

    You bent low and opened the bottom cupboard door to grab a pot when you saw a mouse trap and mouse. You shut the door and gasped out, being startled by it. You couldn't remember either men telling you that there had been a problem with mice in the house, your heart skipping wildly. Slowly you open the door, poor thing laying completely still, you knelt down and reached to grab the trap when it moved. You slammed the door again and pulled your cell phone out dialing whose ever name first came up.

    "Hey doll." Bucky breathed into the phone, sounding slightly out of breath.

    "Bucky, there's a mouse in the cupboard." You almost shrieked staring back the wooden door, your heart racing and tears threatening to spill.

    "I know, Steve and I have been trying to catch him for a month now." His voice calm on the under end.

   "Thanks for telling me!" You snapped, walking into the living room. "Well, you caught it, and the poor thing is alive in that stupid trap!"

    "Sweetheart, calm down." Bucky said on the other end.

    "Don't you tell me to calm down, James Buchanan Barnes, one of you two needs to come home and take him outside." You said in a shaky voice, feeling a tear roll down your cheek. "That poor mouse, he's stuck and alive."

     "Okay, I'll send Steve home. I'm sorry, we should of told you and I'm sorry he's stuck." Bucky replied softly, you could hear Steve on the other side ask if everything was okay.

    Twenty minutes later and trying to get the nerve to handle the situation yourself the front door open and you could hear boot stomping outside before they came in. You looked over your shoulder toward the kitchen entry way and saw Steve come in. He shucked off his jacket, mud covered his torn up jeans as he came over to the cupboard.

   "You two couldn't have bought live traps?" You asked softly, looking over to him.

    "We didn't know there was such a thing." He shrugged, his blue eyes looked guilty as he knelt down and opened the door. The poor thing was caught at the shoulder and tried to wiggle as Steve reached down with his work gloves still on. Gently he picked the trap and mouse up, standing as he walked to the back door.

    You opened it for him and he walked out to the far back of your property towards the shed. You watched as he knelt down, no doubt letting the small animal go. He walked back to the house and you stood in the doorway, arms crossed, feeling guilty for the creature.

   "Steve, is it going to be okay?" You asked looking up at him as he reached you.

    "Yes, it will be okay, I set him next to area that had some shelter." He replied, giving your forehead a tender kiss as you stepped to the side allowing him back in. "You said something about live traps? I've never heard of them before."

    "Yes, you bait them and the mouse gets trapped inside so you can take it far away and let loose." You explained, grabbing the milk and putting in back in the fridge. "That way, they get out of your house and they don't have to die."

    "Alright, then let's go to the hardware shop and put a couple a up, I'm not sure how many we have. Bucky patched up the hole they were coming in from but.." he shrugged grabbing his jacket off the table.

——

Bucky came home to empty house, he took his muddy boots off by the front door and headed upstairs to change. Carefully he stripped off his dirty work clothes, trying hard not drop any dirt on the clean hardwood. He took a quick shower to rid himself of the grime he had accumulated through his day before heading back down.

He walked into the kitchen flicking on the over head light before walking to the refrigerator and pulled out the left over lasagna you had made the days before. He heard Steve’s pick up pull into the drive way before the engine turned over and two doors open and close with a loud squeak. He walked over to the entry way of the kitchen and watched as both you and Steve came in carrying three metal boxes.

“What are those?” Bucky asked, eyebrow raised.

“Live traps.” Steve replied, hanging his jacket and taking his own dirt covered boots off.

“For your mice, that way I don’t have see to another injured one or worse a dead one.” You added, shooting him a glare but failing.

“Hmm, didn’t know they made those or least they didn’t back in our day and Hershel didn’t tell me about ‘em. All I’ve ever known were the snap traps. He suggested poison but I told him you’d kill me for that.” Bucky stated as you brought them into the kitchen, Steve heading upstairs to change himself as he was still wearing the clothes he had from the farm.

“Well, hopefully that was the only one, and if we do have anymore that we can catch them all with these.” You told him setting the traps on the island, before walking around and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“So, I’ll heat up dinner, why don’t you figure out what movie for tonight before lover boy has as watching The Little Mermaid for the fourth night straight.” Bucky smirked after giving you a quick kiss.

“Sounds like a good plan.” You replied. “Oh, and set the traps, I don’t know what you used to bait the other one.”

Permanent tag-

@kitkatkl @octobermermaid @ajosieface @instantnoodlese @crystlblu @coffeebooksandfandom @thisismysecrethappyplace @the-wayward-robot @lokilvrr @shynara51 @fourtyninekirbygamzeegirl @savedbyimagination @bubblycypres87

Me & M’Boys Tag-

None

[ilyuobts]

10000 Hours

concept: short series

genre: fluff (slight angst)

characters: jeon jungkook & original character (fem)

synopsis: he loves you more than a single taste of his favorite dish. he loves you more than his favorite pair of shoes. even if you find somebody else, his heart forever belongs to you.

more tags: bestfriends!au ; one-sided love ; alternative universe ; time-play

a/n: yes i divided this into 4 parts because its gonna be a very long paragraph if i didnt divide it lol. the last part will be out after this!!! as usual, other links are here too.

[Early 2016] [Summer 2017]

[September 2018]

[Valentines 2019]

"Hey Jungkook, are you okay? Got yourself a girlfriend now?" You said as your words were laced with concern and play. "Oh, I'm fine. Lots of girls but hard to pick. Can't pick actually." He mutters with a small smile. It wasn't normal to you. He would usually tell you a lot of things when the both of you were together. You knew something was wrong, even before this week's Valentine's Day. He knew you already have a boyfriend, but when you mentioned that you have atleast 2 months ago he was starting to act strange, and become like a stranger. "Let's talk later, at the plaza. I'll tell BF/N about it. Don't worry, he's considerative of it. And don't you dare ditch me." You said before patting his shoulder for the both of you to attend the only class that the both of you can be together.

[Valentines 2019(2)]

"Y/N." You heard his voice, your name rolling off his tongue after so many weeks. He barely called out to you eversince you mentioned your boyfriend. You pin-pointed the bottom of his attitude towards you, but you needed to hear what he's got to say. Even if you knew what the reason was, you still want to hear it from Jungkook himself. "Tell me everything that you've been hiding, Kook." You said quietly, not wanting to pressure him. Although that's probably what he's been feeling even before meeting up. "I can't keep it up, Y/N." He said with a quiet, trembling voice, afraid that if he said more then it'll downpour. You felt the emotions that he feels. So guilty, sad and hopeless. You immediately envelope him into a hug and comforted him. "Say it, Jungkook. Everything. I'm here to listen too." You said as your own tears rapidly ran down your face.

[Valentines 2019(3)]

"I know the both of you have been together for 2 months. But I've been missing everything that we did in 2 years. It seems so unfair. It's like I've been replaced..." Jungkook cried out as the both of you held tighter to each other, wishing this never happened. But you were there, because you'll help the both of you overcome an obstacle like this. "I like you, Y/N. It's not even an infatuation anymore. It's love. I love you..." He said as he finally faced you, his look reflecting your with tears. He would have kissed you, but he had low to zero chances now. He was too late to hold on to that opportunity that became the last. So he pressed his forehead on you, and kissed your nose instead.

[Valentines 2019(4)]

After the last (and the little intimate) affection, he released from the hug and cupped your cheeks. You held onto his shoulders. The shoulder that you've been leaning on. "I'm sorry." You whispered, your voice so soft that only the both of you can hear it. "I'm sorry for not knowing it sooner. For being absolutely clueless with how you feel. For not talking about it earlier." You said with a frown that Jungkook rarely sees. "Don't blame yourself. You never knew anyway." "But I still wish that I could've done something!" You objected, feeling all over the place as him. He sighed, "Let's call it even, okay? We'll get through this. I know we can, Y/N." He hugged you again and you returned it, forgetting about the topic and focusing on his warmth that will always be the same. "Jungkook." "Hmm?" "Don't forget about me. Because I won't forget about you. I'm not going anywhere." You said as the both of you swayed side to side, not caring who leads the action. He was quiet for a second, but he replied soon. "How could I forget the girl who became my very first best friend? The one get angry because I don't do my assignments?" You said nothing but chuckled instead.