#id beg if i knew itd guarantee it. id be miserable and starving for a month if it meant i got to be full in the next.
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#.txt#all i do is ache and ache#i think the aching is about to outlive the happiness i miss#is that not embarrassing? this surely would not be the first time.#i so badly just want to feel full again. he made me feel full.#this isnt to say im empty now... i have a rather rich life. i know this logically#but i am always hungry. METAPHORICALLY#i never feel full. whe. i finally do it comes and goes so fast i dont even realize its coming to an end until too late#id do anything to have him care again.... and i really do mean that#id beg if i knew itd guarantee it. id be miserable and starving for a month if it meant i got to be full in the next.#i dont beg because it isnt guaranteed and realisticlally i already look foolish and pathetic enough as is#and even if it was guaranteed... i dont know how many months i can starve before i couldnt take it. maybe i could do years#but i could not do it forever......#dels. if u care at all. i miss you horribly. maybe more than you can possibly imagine. im sorry
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