#idc that it looks offputting it’s cute

[dexter-erotoph]

do yoy even care that this is the first time we’re seeing pumps tooth gap not in a picture

[laserbitch]

15 questions 4 15 mutuals thingy?? tagged by @swugie !

1. Are you named after anyone?

i named myself after christina aguilera :)))

2. When was the last time you cried?

a few days ago over my cat pancho… sigh… r.i.p. little buddy

3. Do you have kids?

no but i have kits 🐈🐈🐈🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes i think people find me offputting .______.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

honestly their hair. my gf has me stylist pilled now lol i can’t unsee when someone has a shoe polish dye job

6. What’s your eye color?

that type of deep brown that looks syrupy in the sun 😏

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

ok a scary movie can still have a happy ending is all i’m gonna say (i do love gore though)

8. Any special talents?

photography, interior decorating via ocd, driving weirdly enough, being autistically into music (especially by having encyclopedic knowledge of 2006-2012 mallcore bands), and lastly: eating pussy

9. Where were you born?

maybe dm me about this one!

10. What are your hobbies?

i’ve been getting really into gardening this year :3 i got a big ass pothos vining all over the kitchen and a little farm that’s coming along nicely… i literally can’t stop potatoes from growing. they’re everywhere! and if all goes well, i’ll have a big ass pumpkin patch in time for halloween 🎃

11. Have any pets?

7 cats at the moment. my girlfriend and i run a rescue operation of sorts so the number changes often. right now it’s two himalayan/torties named fincher and sugar. sugar only has half a tail. then there’s a russian blue named cinder, he was found at a gas station in new mexico with two other kittens. there’s half-stache, a bit of a long-haired tuxedo with half a mustache as a facial marking. and then there’s thomas, frederick, and june - all tabbies. thomas pissed on my ps3 last week but he’s still very cute.

12. What sports do you play?

not particularly good at anything but i love shooting hoops. honestly tennis is pretty fun too. gotta get more active this summer for sure

13. How tall are you ?

5’9”

14. Favorite subject in school?

looove writing courses but curiously enough can never focus enough to read. something something mental disorders

15. Dream job?

i do not dream of labor but it would be cool if i could keep making more and more money off of my photography so i can continue the lifestyle i have rn. idc about being loaded i just wanna live a modest life at home and occasionally do drugs with my friends lol

tagging @denyjesuschrist @stroebe2 @extradimensionaldream @beachpunc @awesomgrlgr8job @robloxmilf @bichopalo @hog-choker @kristina100000 @merriweatherpostpaviliontshirt @sexhaver @mazzystargirl @sacredstem @eatware @demegoddess lol …. preemptive sorries for this

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright Janis: Not bad, boy Janis: you? Jimmy: Happy to be at work. Says it Jimmy: 🎻���🎻 full orchestra Janis: 😨 Christ Janis: assuming you're not just buzzin' to see your fave GILFs, what's the drama? Jimmy: 3 guesses, mate Jimmy: 1 clue, he's a top dickhead Janis: he's a child and you're rude Janis: jk bobs Janis: my number one fan, how's tricks Jimmy: he's #buzzing that we're back to being #goals like Jimmy: expects me to get the cake and bunting in every time he gets a new lass through the door though Janis: obvs its a competition and you ain't trying hard enough Janis: can't win though, cass said you were bringing him down before so what's he want like Jimmy: I've already won, me. Sorry dad but there's the reality Jimmy: Such a twat Jimmy: If you wanted me to date the other twin it's too late to register your vote Janis: Forreal Janis: the LDR might not last but can't be banking on it now Jimmy: Every time he pops his head round me door I keep thinking he's gonna wheel out my ex Jimmy: Having driven back up north to remind me of what I loved and lost Janis: Ha Janis: I mean, not the girl you need to be looking for, wanna get real about it Jimmy: Can't be getting real, can he? Jimmy: Unless its about me then he's gonna fill his boots Janis: What would he know about it Janis: 'less you're doing his job, when's he ever been arsed Jimmy: always time for a bit of father son criticism naturally Jimmy: makes the paid slog go with more of a swing Janis: what a prick Janis: wanna fake breakup? Jimmy: No Jimmy: Why should he get what he wants Janis: Shouldn't but idc about him Janis: if it gets him off your back then don't mind Jimmy: experience knows its not that easy Jimmy: gonna be something most days Jimmy: I packed a bag so many times when you were away only to figure I had nowhere I could actually go Jimmy: Or especially take Cass and Bobs along to Jimmy: nowt to do but unpack it again Janis: It's shit, babe Janis: you'll have somewhere one day but for now Janis: you wanna go somewhere after work Jimmy: I do Jimmy: only thing getting through this shift was reckoning you'd say that Jimmy: and needing money to get far Janis: 'course Janis: don't count as running if you come too right Jimmy: No problems with us both legging it Jimmy: as long as I can keep up 🚭 Janis: good, be shit if i fucked up my streak already, like Janis: can't be that loser Janis: can but try, mate Jimmy: 💪😎🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted as many times as it gets laid down Jimmy: 👌 Janis: stoptober the real challenge 😏😂 Jimmy: Funny Janis: I know Janis: s'been said Jimmy: But not the best track record at getting Twix to not do things Jimmy: So I'd need a better trainer if you were serious Janis: 😮 Janis: How dare you Janis: maybe I don't want her to stop Janis: clearly, I am that cunt, fucking with you and yours for the craic Jimmy: Life and times according to Pops Jimmy: As you said, what does he know Jimmy: you're just a piss poor trainer. Unlucky like Janis: 🖕 Janis: got you whipped like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Likely story Janis: okay come thru with that denial Jimmy: It's genetic, mate Jimmy: Clearly foolproof Jimmy: 😒 Janis: Same Janis: awks when they're just bonding us further Jimmy: not mad about it Janis: he will be Janis: don't think any of mine are proper haters Janis: pablo, maybe but our bad Jimmy: and he's got no taste as shown for a full fortnight when those spanish lasses were here Jimmy: so if he don't like me I'm alright with it Janis: honestly 🙄 he's so...let's not even go there Janis: sure about that? Janis: idk if your ego can hack it, personally Jimmy: don't tar me with your brush, like Janis: just saying Janis: know it 💔 when you aren't fave Janis: i'm more than used to it, thanks mr. t Janis: needed cutting down, like 😜 Jimmy: I am where it matters Jimmy: Mr Lucas come through Janis: 😂 Janis: surprised he didn't find a reason to chaperone Janis: like bitch you ain't languages Jimmy: I bet he tried his hardest Jimmy: Would've def found a way to swing it if they'd sent you to a Spanish location with a load of beaches and pools Janis: regret hitting so hard i gotta seduce him to add to the shitheap Janis: 😬 Jimmy: Was there an equivalent when you were over there or is he in a league of his own 💘 Jimmy: Might dedicate my next artsy endeavor to him get those top marks Janis: truly one of a kind Janis: suck up Janis: not bitter i'm being replaced or nowt Jimmy: only in his dreams am I Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🤢 shut uppppppp Jimmy: fancy helping me with the project yourself then? Jimmy: Less time on my knees and more in front of a lens Janis: what you doing Jimmy: Still in the planning stages cause my POV shifted from 💔 back to 💕 Jimmy: But we aren't busy and I've got plenty of napkins here to figure it out with Janis: Your teach is welcome, saving her from your angst 😉 Janis: cool though, help how i can Jimmy: And me from getting the piss taken by the rest of the class Jimmy: #blessed Jimmy: On the subject of angst though, how's Gracie? Janis: You know they'd lap that shit up Janis: basic bitches i 👀 you Janis: She's alright, he's as highkey so they're making it work Jimmy: Cute Jimmy: Better not be coming for our brand and fans 👀 her Janis: No danger Janis: even if I've pulled a Sinead and you're past your prime Janis: still got it, kids Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: still a decent muse, you Janis: Oh you Janis: not doing nude for free Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I won't bin the job off yet then Janis: Probably don't Janis: shit fit your dad would have if nothing else Jimmy: nothing he does, says or thinks has any impact on me, don't worry Janis: 👍 like Janis: but if you put that on a phonecase the flat whites would buy it, just FYI Jimmy: Anything for a good earner Jimmy: Need petrol never mind them pricey nudes of yours Janis joined the chat 101 minutes ago Janis: listen, i can go twos on the petrol but i can't budge with the nudes, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: stick to your guns, mate Janis: get disowned by rio if i did it fo free Jimmy: We can't have that. You're the one with the decent fam Janis: Let's not get carried away Janis: they don't actively hate you, s'a start but they aren't the fucking... Janis: I'd say waltons but like Janis: was that not the goal Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Your nan started something and your ma was like, challenge accepted Jimmy: Can't fault her for it Janis: Competetive Janis: least I got enough sibs I don't need to come for the title next, like Jimmy: Gotta go the other way and get a different one, like Janis: that's the plan Janis: like I have one but you know Jimmy: We both want to get out of here. Done Janis: True Janis: Hold you to it Jimmy: Alright Janis: even if you're like married with kids Janis: homewrecking that shit 😂 deals a deal mate Jimmy: Who'd wanna marry this dickhead? Jimmy: The in-laws are so offputting an all Jimmy: You've got nowt to worry about Janis: Glad Janis: though I think you're alright, for the record Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: You aren't too bad yourself Janis: soppy prick Jimmy: cute dickhead Janis: don't take up poetry Janis: words aren't your strongsuit, also you'd be more unbearable so Jimmy: told you before, strong silent type, me Janis: yeah, i know Janis: woulda ignored me for life Jimmy: You think? Janis: Yeah Janis: 😶 like Jimmy: not THAT strong, mate Janis: 💪 never tell your fans, like Jimmy: They probably know Janis: reckon? Jimmy: Is there anything they reckon they don't Janis: bunch of twats Janis: why's there no one decent 'round here Jimmy: Offensive Janis: You don't count Janis: ain't from 'round here, are you boy Jimmy: But I'm still stuck here for a bit Janis: I know Janis: sure there's nothing worse than the couple who only ever hang together Janis: #sooocringe #judgingyou Jimmy: Can't raise this 🐶 alone Jimmy: Sorry Janis: yeah, she ain't my only friend Janis: she's my fur baby Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: #socringe #actuallyjudgingyounowthough Janis: shut up you started it 😂 Jimmy: you gonna finish it then? Janis: too soon 😉 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: such a dick Janis: hardly surprising we're stuck with each other Jimmy: hardly gutting either like Janis: 🤷 had worse Jimmy: Me too Jimmy: Sorry to slander your fave, dad but Janis: Distance ain't made the heart grow fonder? Janis: awks, don't tell Gracie Jimmy: Only if I feel like being a dick Jimmy: So might do Janis: please do Janis: having to be uncharacteristically nice atm Jimmy: Done then Jimmy: If you wanna be uncharacteristically nice to me I'm due a break soon Janis: Hmm Janis: tough ask Janis: see if I've got it in me, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Keep me informed of your process, like Janis: fucking perv Jimmy: 😇 Jimmy: keep that to yourself, got fans to think of Janis: that i can do Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Janis: not like i got ulterior motives of my own Jimmy: Obviously not Janis: 😇 Janis: never believe you anyway Jimmy: I can be convincing when I want though Janis: prove it Jimmy: get yourself over here and I will Janis: okay Janis: really make the most of those 15 minutes Jimmy: Done deal Janis: did i tell you i missed you Jimmy: yeah but I don't mind hearing it a second time Jimmy: or third Jimmy: or as many times as you want to tell me Janis: ambitious Janis: see how many we can fit in Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: if I told you I want you I'll say it again Janis: still feels unreal so Janis: take it Jimmy: You're gonna feel how real it is, don't worry Janis: fucking hell Janis: rude of the real world to exist and take you from me Jimmy: I won't go back Jimmy: Like I care Janis: You gotta Janis: this is how addictions start 😏 Janis: think of the plan Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright Janis: I know, buzzkill Jimmy: What are you doing tonight? Janis: Fuck all unless you gonna change that Jimmy: We'll make the most of your drive idea Jimmy: Find somewhere we can be alone for longer than 15 minutes Janis: Good 'cos I need you Jimmy: I need you too Janis: How stupid, 16 years without it and I was chillin' Janis: now, any time I'm not with you I'm frustrated as fuck 😣 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that's the only victory I proper want Janis: you got it Janis: and me Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you