#idek what prompted this memory 🙄

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

reason #83247 why i dont like engaging with irls 👁️👄👁️ under the cut bc this is just a vent post bc i triggered myself lmao

backstory: so i'm deadass too autistic to tell how frequently i'm supposed to engage with irls unless we actually have something to talk about AND can never actually tell when "drifting apart" has occurred

last summer, husband and i were throwing a wedding reception! planning was shit but i was like "its ok i'll see old friends and we'll have a decent time playing board games because husband and i are nerds and set up a board game table"

there were some irls that i thought i was pretty good friends with back in high school (now that i think about it, it kinda seems like they were just tolerating me tbh). i invited them and was overall happy to see them again. BUT when i followed up with them on if they were going to rsvp, and for the ones that did, what food they were wanting and all that fun stuff

some said they couldn't come because of money to come from some of the more southern states (college) up to chicago (where we were all from) and that they couldn't really travel around, which i took as face value. i understand that. some rsvp'd and i checked up on them and they deadass told me THE DAY BEFORE that they couldn't come anymore, which kinda pissed me off but i regulated enough to get through the reception

but then a week later, i saw that they flew from those southern states up to Washington to attend someone else's wedding. that someone else was someone that i did not get along with throughout my time with her, so the fact that they all flaked out on my wedding and attended hers + canceling last minute + deadass lying about why they couldn't come just set my bpd off through the ROOF and i ended up blocking/unfriending all of them because they could've at least been honest with me, but chose not to. part of me was like "i should give them the benefit of the doubt" but a bigger part of me was like "fuck this, i'm sick of people pulling this shit"

so tldr; a lot of irl's suck and i'm too autistic to tell when they're lying and that leads me to trusting people when i really shouldn't 👁️👄👁️