#idek who i'd be without my art..

[littleaipom]

I just wanna say thanks

thanks for supporting my art with likes and tags and comments etc. i really appreciate it <3

[crguang]

sat...I saw kafka again. I can't even say anything without giggling. i did lose it omg. i need to...idek atp, i can't stop giggling, i miss her bad. i took a screenshot every time she was on screen, and it took me forever bc i pausing and giggling. every line she had i was dying. wdym "no matter where you go or which corner of the cosmos you may be, you will always be able to find a safe haven by my side" like let's all die. I want to be at her side NOW. I also asked her if she abandoned me, "you know I'd never do that" what does she meannn, like that's the first interaction we had w her in the game, her leaving. and she's being so soft :( but her saying all that then dumping us on the space station no problem is so kafka. I hate her so much.

I was so unprepared for this, blade saying don't let kafka down bc she sacrificed so much for us. her smile being "half cold half warm" ik that's right

her saying "i don't want anything to come between us, not even doubt" "as long as you stand with the stellaron hunters, you will never know the pain of betrayal." makes me think about what she said about keeping the right distance to maintain long-lasting relationships.

also what she said right before the fight, "all the bloodshed and cried beyond the screen are merely there to serve as the backdrop for the main characters. Together we will dance against the current, until the universe meets Finality." like that's how she sees the outcomes of the "scripts" maybe? and everything else in order to fight fate is just the backdrop. very delicious.

but they were wrong about her not being good at patience. that's her thing. her problem is that she's too patient. idk what the writers were on, but they're wrong. or maybe she was fucking with us the entire time or it was a fake memory. idk.

ok now let's talk about aglaea. (i stopped right after kafka showed up btw, so uh I haven't seen all of her scenes yet)

I love her. that voice? the accent? I love the "divinity is lonely" trope, but I usually just like lonely characters in general lol. she has all that power but the world is still going to end. she's so distant to bc she has to be disconnected on a certain level to maintain the pretense that everything is ok so the people who look to and rely on her (it's everyone) don't worry? she's protecting the last city that isn't destroyed, she killed a god, but the world is still going to end? her plan too. like "planning" to execute the TB so they'll trust the others more and help save the city because she cannot.

also that art of her the bath with us.

anyway I need cheryl to voice the kafka lines bc I know I'll lose my shit even more. I need a few business days to calm down about her tho.

-🌠

YESSSSSS OH MY GOD. FUCK. they had her so incredibly soft in this little cameo like i dont know what that was about but i was squealing and cheesing so much my jaw started to hurt. i missed her so bad… i also chose the “did you abandon me” line and screamed into my pillow at her answer like she’s sooo unserious for what she then told the tb during her companion quest 😭 omfg real question, do we think that because kaf knew the tb would lose their memories once the stellaron was implanted, it’s why she was so open before?.. that would be so sick. that “half cold half warm” comment was so real and it translates into everything she does it’s like she cant bring herself to be fully committed to anything that doesnt secure her future. shes so obviously passionate (proven once more with her “we will dance against the current” line) but beyond that i wonder if she has anything she wants and would fight for. i loved that line because it really shows how she thinks, that she doesn’t really feel any remorse or guilt for her actions bc she sees what shes doing as “details”. she’s always focusing on the big picture and it’s just so nice to hear her say it ykwim? because idk if i’d consider kaf ‘morally grey’ so far and this kinda just reaffirmed that belief for me, who thinks like that? 😭 once again her “the end justifies the means” sort of thinking is ehhhhh. in one of my philosophy classes one of the arguments against that kind of utilitarian thinking was that we cant predict what’s going to happen, so committing terrible acts cant be “for the good of humanity” if you dont even know that things will turn out well in the end. but kafka does know. kinda interesting

yes they were wrong about the patience thing idk what happened in that writing room but i should’ve been there… /lh idk if it’s an actual fake memory because mem said the tb’s memories were chaotic but as we all know, “memories do not lie” so… im choosing to believe it was real idc ! kaf was so domestic in this idc like its mine im eating that shit uppp, what do you mean “dinner’s ready” and blade giving her his preferences like he cant cook his own meal im crying theyre my family. kaf saying that travelling with people who dont talk much makes her feel lonely makes me wonder if thats why she “loves chatting with silver wolf”

I LOVE AGLAEA. for the exact reasons you just stated like i think she’s gonna be up there in my top 10 guys… the burden of being the one who has to uphold people’s faith is so delicious. so lonely. shes giving it her all but shes still pessimistic as to amphoreus’ destiny so to her, she’s doing everything just so that her people die in the end, thats insane. and its worse that ppl dont only have faith in their gods, they have faith in her in particular because she’s ascended to divinity in their eyes and whether she likes it or not that always drives a wedge between that person and humanity as a whole. she mentions her humanity “eroding” and sounds wry about it aaaaaa, like something she can’t control or fight against and shes just accepted it. love her. that voice??? need her whispering in my ear. the way she says “very good” oh i got tingles all over my body… how she (more than once) guides us through things really brought forth the puppy top in me i can’t even lie

this was devilish. i hope she has more cgs in 3.1 she looks unbelievableeeeee like that’s a goddess. her tattoos?!?! losing my mind

i think if cheryl had voiced those lines nobody would’ve heard of me for at least 2 days. im still recovering from the lines themselves i cant imagine the softness in her voice as she says them i would’ve ended up comatose

[chenziee]

Fun facts about ALBoD that I never actually said

the whole thing started because I was neck deep in riren mpreg fanfiction and went "everyone talks about how bad it is that Eren is pregnant but no one ever mentions the option of abortion WHY?"

in the rewrite, Eren & co. are aged up to 17+ and the sole reason is that I was going through it and went "oh god Eren doesn't sound 15 AT ALL and I don't want to change his characterisation to be more childish 'cause ew"

they're 17+ in my head instead of 18+ because 18+ Eren is SO clinical-depression-coded in my brain that I just couldn't get over it (but I truly, honestly, seriously don't care what age you read them as, go off, be free)

related to point 1, I got the whole original idea out in chapter 1, so I've seriously been winging it since the very beginning, literally no clue where I'm going chapter to chapter (I've mentioned this before but I need you to understand how serious I am about this) (the chapter I'm currently writing, I'm going sentence to sentence, not having any clue what I'm about to write)

the story's been haunting me every. single. day. since I stopped updating regularly (yes, even before I officially dropped it, when the updates were far between), just always standing there, staring at me accusingly right next to all the unread Murakami (both of them) books on my bookshelf

been thinking about getting a comm for the story but it's like "who's still into riren anymore AND okay with omegaverse AND mpreg AND won't make me go completely broke" (idek what scene I'd get, there's just this vague "I'm obsessed, I need art" thing without anything concrete in my head xD)

[merlions]

My godmother who I love and know via many stories but do not know personally very well (lives on the other side of the US from me) saw a photo my mom showed her of a blanket I made and loved it (aww) and requested I make her a blanket (badass) so she could pass it on to her kid etc (BADASS?????? YES) and gave my mom an object which was decorated with colors that she'd like the blanket made in (holy shit yes?????)

The guidelines for this that I have are based on what my mom thinks my godmother wants cause I guess she maybe said the blanket thing half as a joke thinking it'd be too much work to ask me to do? But like lol....what an honor to make an heirloom lmao ofc I'm doing that. So now it's a surprise ig? And my mom can't ask her questions? I'm a little confused on the details of that but she's gonna see if she can come up w an excuse soon to ask her as much as she can abt it without letting on or smth

Anyways the specs my mom said are that 1. it should look somewhat like the blanket I made (buncha granny squares in different patterns with a mandala in the center and Irish lace joining; granny squares should be one color each, central mandala should be all the other colors from the granny squares) and 2. Not super flower focused

So then she shows me the object which has all the colors and it's like this INTENSELY vibrant watercolor type thing that's just like a bunch of flowers, and there are like 25 colors???? Plus most are in like gradients bc watercolor???? I'm like???? My blanket had FOUR colors bc any more and it would have been just such a chaotic mess...I've showed my mom patterns and my own sketches of the only ways I can figure out how to do this and she keeps going "it's too busy" like.....yeah but idk how to get around that????? It either needs a repeating pattern (the same granny square design but diff colors) or a repeating color scheme or else WAY fewer colors idek how I would make a MANDALA w that many colors ?????

Idk why but I'm having like an existential crisis I keep trying to sleep and then rolling over and looking through ravelry or picking up my sketchbook but it's like....nothing is happening it's just the same cycling thru options that aren't gonna work lol

Anyways I also realized I don't even know what a heirloom-able blanket looks like. Like surely it shouldn't be too...crazy? Like "fashion is fleeting but style is forever" guidelines I'd think. Our only heirloom blanket style of thing is one of the first projects my aunt ever made and it's lovely but very clearly like. The very first blanket she ever made. So it's beloved partly for being quirky but I'm assuming that I shouldn't be aiming for that type of thing due to my circumstances of 20ish years doing fiber arts yknow?

WHATEVERRRRR

[lsdacidtrip]

BOOBA

i want to squeeze big booba so badly rn

not even joking, femlock alexis ness is so beautiful and cute and she's just so pretty and she looks so soft and squishy i love her and i want to hold her hand and cup her face and braid her hair and paint her nails and i want her to hug me and we can kiss on the cheeks and...i think i'm touch starved

sharp contrast but she also makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out and offer them to her. lowkey also wanna make her bleed, just yank her hair real bad and claw at her stomach

puplexis' femlock art makes me want to cry it's so pretty and i love the style and i love the way the eyes and lips are drawn and aghhhhhhh it makes me wanna just chomp and rip their cheeks to shreds

fem rin itoshi could actually just glare at me and i'd melt she's such an emo baddie and so pretty and just pls pls let me rip ur skin open i wanna crawl inside of u

ok but realistically i would not want this with a real person. i can't stand the thought of actually touching someone else like the way i described before, especially in a romantic sense. like i actually shudder at the thought of being intimate with a person who i like love? i can't even imagine being in love with someone. that sounds like so much work, everything that i read about being in love sounds like a lot of pressure. wdym i can't stop thinking abt them. i know i already fixate on rin and ness and ivan a lot but that's different, i feel detached from them because they're not real and i have no chance of ever seeing any of them irl. but if i were to fall for someone real?? and actually potentially see them in my day to day life??? no, that's too much to deal with, i'm already stressed trying to make friends (i have not made a single new friend since the beginning of the fall semester), i don't want to be perceived pls. i don't even text most of my close hs friends without them texting me first or wtv, in what world could i ever have an intimate relationship with someone without them like getting frustrated over a lack of communication?

bye anyways i'll stick to the friends i have rn and just being friends. ppl are so hard to understand and trying to make good conversation is terrible, idek if i can ever learn how to communicate better without sounding like a fool. i literally cannot sound natural in any conversation ever, the only reason that i don't feel insane when i'm talking to my friends is because we all just don't care about whether we stay on topic or not and we can just jump from one thing to the next, and they also don't care if i just go quiet in the middle bc they'll just talk to each other while i listen.

also, my one very close friend and i get along and i can keep a conversation with them, if it can even be called that atp, because we just talk about wtv is interesting to us, which, we like a lot of the same things and we share a lot of the same interests like genshin and hsr and other anime/manga. we match each other's freak :D and also if i like smthng i can talk about it for a while, like i can ramble but i can't do that in conversations with anybody but this one friend because otherwise it'll expose my insanity. my previous post is what i sound like irl, except it's worse irl, and literally no one except this one friend will get me and i'm too ashamed to converse in the same way with my other friends because it is absolutely freak behavior and our other friends would have an aneurysm if they heard our conversations. i cannot have a normal conversation with anyone new because all i know is freak behavior. literally every conversation i have with anyone new is so awkward and i always come out of the interaction embarrassed as shit.

why oh why was i born when literally everyone has to talk to everybody and everything is on blast all the fucking time, why i can't just live isolated on a farm tending a flock of sheep or goats or chickens or something and ignore civilization T-T

but yes big booba i love femlock ness and rin and sae and also shidou <333

[striveattemptfail]

so i took this screencap after i read the latest ep and—

hn. (=_=)

idt i'll liveblog this week but i'll put my Thoughts under the cut

(tl;dr jason's Moobs and artemis' arms are the only thing getting me through this webtoon and unfortunately i am near hitting the point where that can no longer sustain me 😔😔)

(also pls heed the tags on this post bc there is a lot of Wank And Bitching. if you don't wanna read the meandering negativity, pls move along ᕕ(ಠ_ಠ)ᕗ)

okay so Thoughts™️:

i said i'd stick around to make sure lobo was done well but considering he folded and fucked off in <5 panels i can't even judge that

and idr if i mentioned it on my blog but i told some friends i'd stick around for the first season of rho and likely drop it after that

but idek if i can keep to that anymore

i've read a lot of really crappy comics, superhero issues and webcomics alike. i've had my fair share of whiplash pacing and wildly ooc canon

i'm not saying i'm an expert at judging comics, but i'll give myself enough credit to say at the very least that this webtoon is Just Not Good

while i'm personally not bothered by changing the art style—

(actually, it's one of the few things i appreciate in traditional publishing for superhero comics, so introducing it to the webcomic medium has been really interesting to me)

(but that's a whole other post lol)

—they're not using the change to its full potential, or even for its intended purpose

i get that the webtoon weekly schedule is brutal and borderline inhumane for a lot of asian artists, so it's probably hell on earth for western artists having to switch to that kind of scheduling

nico offloading all the inking to another artist so he can get a break makes sense

but if that's the case, the art should be more polished—and it just isn't

it's still abundantly clear to me that corners were cut to get eps out on time with the same kind of length

i'm not an illustrator, and my eye for perspective is already pretty awful with my glasses on, but i think it still says something that my half-blind ass can still see errors

if the art has to change to give the regular artist a break, why isn't any of the art (both from the original artist and the fill-in artist) not up to par?

and this isn't even considering that the art just changes in the middle of an arc, which makes everything hella confusing for a reader who can seamlessly read episode after episode due to the nature of the webtoons platform and the webcomic medium in general

at least if there's an art switch in most traditional comics, it's introducing a new arc or volume to that series, and it's physically broken up into multiple comic books/issues

the changes in rho thus far have just been ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at best, and (to me) without any thought about how the style could affect the overall story

to be clear: wayne family adventures also does this. but at least toby succeeds in emulating starbite's art style enough not to break immersion. and because it's been toby every time, the changes in art style is usually only noticeable when scrutinized

unlike with rho thus far, who's had different artists with similar but still distinctly different styles

so the abrupt art change is not only impacting the immersion of a reader but the effectiveness of the storytelling

and i don't even wanna get into patrick young's abysmal writing thus far. i know better than to yell on the internet about comic writers after namedropping them lol

i love jason. i genuinely like his rebirth outlaws team. for all the flack i give lobdell for rhato (2011) and in general, he did some actually decent things for all three outlaws during their 2016 run onwards

(some things. i'm still not forgiving him for rhato (2016) #25, or the fact that willis todd was apparently gd wingman, or for a lot of other things, but that is a discussion for yet another post lol)

i honestly cannot say the same for patrick young's writing

aside from the (fucked up) storyline happening to bizarro, i stand by my point that the highlight of every arc thus far has been the villains

which would be a compliment if it weren't for the fact that the series is supposed to be about the titular (anti) heroes of the story, or if the heroes were just written half as well

and yet?? i've been disappointed by every development for jason, and the mostly lack thereof for artemis, much less the downright disrespectful treatment for all the other characters introduced thus far

bizz really is the best boy, not only for his kind nature but for being the only decently written character out of the three

i get that superhero comics allows for different characterizations and the webtoon is continuing that tradition

doesn't mean i like what's happened to most of the characters

it's just........it's been really disappointing reading this webtoon

and i honestly feel bad for those who've spent hard earned coins unlocking any of this webtoon's fastpass eps

verdict: am i gonna drop this sooner than i thought? likely so

unfortunately for me i am a stubborn masochist of a stan so i'll be testing how long i can hold on just out of love for these characters 🥴🥴🥴

[green-socks]

Fic Writers Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @oonajaeadira and @mandocrasis <3 - I know you tagged me a while ago but I'm finally starting to feel human again so I thought why not do it now!

Please state and link/explain the following fics:

What you’d consider your first fic:

That would be Hungry Eyes (ongoing - the link is to the first part of the series). The first I ever posted, the first I ever wrote, the first I ever took from idea to something more concrete. It's gender bent Dirty Dancing with Benny Miller and an OC (who could've been RI but this was my first time writing and I was scared lol) and it was born because I had a dream of Benny dancing with me Dirty Dancing style. I had the time of my life etc and had to try writing it out. It's mostly a fun daydream that I don't expect anyone to care about, and it's a great way for me to play around and practice writing stuff!

Your softest fic:

I have more fluffy fics than anything else, so it's surprisingly hard to choose, but Favorite Thing and Fixing It (both Frankie x gn!reader) are both big comfort fics for myself, so I'm gonna say those. Both focus on those domestic moments that are nothing remarkable per se, but can actually be so magical with the right person, and that's what I'm all about.

The fic you’re most proud of:

why are all these Frankie fics. So Much for Summer Love was very new for me, because it's angsty, and that was something I had never done before. It's about teenage Frankie leaving for basic without saying goodbye and breaking reader's heart. I was super proud of myself for doing something new, and I think I achieved what I wanted to with it!

Fic which shows your progress:

Most likely Hungry Eyes, again, because it's my first and still ongoing, and you can probably tell there's been time between updates lol. I'd also weirdly say The Art of Stealing (the thief x reader), because I feel like it maybe shows progress in the technical aspects of writing compared to my earlier ones, and also because I really let myself go with that one so there was also like.. mental progress??? idek

Your favorite WIP:

That changes all the time lol, but I do feel pretty excited about a soulmate fic with Max P that I've been working on for a while! I didn't write at all most of november, but when I did, I worked on that.

I'm not tagging anyone since I'm late to the party, but if there's someone who hasn't done this yet, please come play with me! That would make me happy!