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#idk!! i never thought id be able to get help for this and it's unreal that a tiny fucking pill just... makes my brain function better
fabulouslygaybean · 4 months
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turns out that eating breakfast after taking the meds you should eat with food is a good idea
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March 30, 2020
The worst feeling that I’ve felt in my many years of life is being surrounded by people that I love but still feeling so alone and empty. I have no motivation to do anything. I used to be into fitness and right now that I have all the time in the world I can't bring myself to enjoy it again. I wish I could smile like I used to when I was a kid. I didn't even go through anything so traumatic to make feel like this. I'm just so depressed and empty. There was a point in my life where i just felt so numb and everything felt so unreal. Like a dream. or a nightmare. I was lucky to be able to pull myself out of it but no one ever knew. This sucks but I am trying. I just don't know how I got to this bad. I really wish I could talk to someone about this but all I get is “ Everything is going to be okay” although it’s comforting, sometimes, IDK you just feel dumb for letting them see you so vulnerable. And sometimes it just feels better to leave some things unsaid. Since nobody really knows who I really am behind the screen, I just thought id share how I feel right now. I never really liked writing but getting this all out and being pretty anonymous feels kinda good. I’m not asking for help, just simply writing to help myself out. Maybe someone can relate and they can see that they're not alone. I know ill be okay someday. I think with everything going on in the world today has me feeling a little extra depressed, I can’t leave the house, and most of the day I spend it alone. Hopefully, everything goes back to normal soon. I wish all you guys health in these uncertain times. Be safe, stay clean. Talk to you soon <3 
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dreamerology · 6 years
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my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!
no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them
i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???
fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm
what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts
can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!
chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!
mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!
i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!
on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.
anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!
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I am thinking about changing my provider and was wandering if anybody has any recomendations?
Is it required to buy insurance if you rent a car ?
Well, I'm going to tell my mom to rent a car next Thursday and I'm not sure if she HAVE to buy insurance for it. She already have car insurance from Triple A, can she use the car insurance she have for the rental car? Is that okay? When I reserved the car for Avis last weekend, it said that you can purchase a protection for the car for an extra 18 dollars, im not sure if that's insurance or not. It said its recommended, but not required. Also, no where on the site said that you have to buy insurance for the rental car. Is there already insurance for those rental cars? I'm so confused. pleease help!!""
Will i get a fee for canceling my car insurance policy early?
Im a little confused and can use some help! I am in massachusetts and have a car insurance policy that goes from february to february. i got a great quote from another company and want to dump my current one. my insurance agency insists i wont get a fee for cancelling early, but the insurance company itself says that i will get a 10% fee of my total premium for cancelling. I don't want to be unpleasantly surprised with a bill, but im not really sure who is right, and if the insurance company is telling me i have a fee just to scare me out of cancelling. Thanks""
I was just wondering if anyone knows how much your car insurance goes up if you have been into an accident?
I was just wondering if anyone knows how much your car insurance goes up if you have been into an accident?
Health Insurance?
I'm doing an assignment on health insurance and I wanted to know why is it a good thing to get health insurance? Thanks!!!
Cheap insurance for young drivers?
I passed my test today and need to get some insurance, if you know any websites or companies that offer cheap insurance for 17yr olds for a mini from personal experience etc. Then please help Thanks""
If i'm driving in ireland do i need irish insurance?
Ok so i want to buy a BMW I'm 17 buying the car isn't the problem the insurance companies here in Ireland are so I'm thinking of buying cheap insurance somewhere like china or the USA is this possible while i would be actually driving the car here in Ireland.
How much will it cost to add a 17 year old female to my insurance plan as a driver with the car in my name?
I'm supposed to be added on my 38 year old sister's insurance with Nationwide tuesday. I have to pay for my part, I hope its not over 150 but definitely not 200.""
Help with Health Insurance?
hi, im a 20 year old male and i have no health insurance. i have deviated septum and need it to be surgically fixed. was wondering if i could join an insurance plan just for that surgery. it is not a pre-existing condition, so could i get the surgery during the waiting period and if not, what are good insurance companies that have relatively low periods.""
Has anyone got car insurance with the Cooperative?
what are they like?, good service etc? would you recommend""
What are some cheap Auto Insurance Companies?
I pay 193 a month for basic liability with 21st century Insurance. Where can i get a cheap quote?
How much does roofers insurance cost? I'm a one-man show for residential work looking for the cheapest policy?
How much does roofers insurance cost? I'm a one-man show for residential work looking for the cheapest policy?
Need supplemental insurance!?
I had a CAT scan done a few years ago and owe a good amount of money still because my insurance only covered a portion of it. Im a college student and make 8$ an hour and diagnosed with mental illness. Can i expect supplemental insurance to cover the rest of it? its about 1600. And can someone explain it for me? Do i pay for supplemental insurance to? My sister told me i can get emergency medicare or medical **** or something to pay for it.. Is this true...so confused. Thanks
Insurance for student?
I am currently a student, and saved up enough to buy a car, but the problem is the insurance. As a student, the insurance premium is very high since I have to be the primary driver. I cannot be under my parents insurance, I am not in good terms with them. Is there any way to reduce the premiums? I already did the driveres ed course which gives you a 10% discount. Do you know any cheap insurance companies? I am just looking for basic coverage. Thanks! PS - I live in Ontario.""
What is the best car insurance for a first car and someone in the early 20s?
Hey guys.. So, i'm only 22 years old and i'm looking to to buy my first car really soon but first i want to find a good and affordable insurance agency. So far i'm looking to compare the following insurance companies: Geico, State Farm, Progressive, State Farm, etc. Any other suggestions would also come in handy.. Thank You!.""
""I had a car accident,but i don't have insurance.?""
MY CAR AND THE OTHER CAR INVOLVED WERE PARKED IN THE PARKING LOT WHERE WE BOTH WORK WHICH IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MATTERS,BUT I'VE HEARD IT DOES.WE CAME OUT AFTER WORK AND HER CAR WAS INTO MINE,BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT MY CAR ROLLED INTO HERS.THERE ARE NO WITNESSES I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE AND SHE DOES.AM I AT FAULT REGARDLESS?NOONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED AND MY CAR WAS IN PARK AND WHEN SHE MOVED HER CAR THE COPS PUSHED AND PUSHED ON MINE AND IT DID NOT BUDGE.AND THERE WAS NOT ANY SIGN OF SOMEONE BUMPING INTO EITHER OF OUR CARS.IT DIDN'T DO MUCH DAMAGE,BUT SHE TOLD ME THE ESTIMATE IS FOR OVER 2,000. THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENED WAS,IT LEFT HER SIDE MIRROR HANGING AND CRACKED HER WINDSHIELD,BUT SHE ADMITTED THE MIRROR WAS ALREADY BROKEN.HOW DO I KNOW THE DAMAGE THAT WAS EVIDENT WASN'T ALREADY DONE?PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME DO I HAVE ANY GROUND TO STAND ON IN DEFENSE??BY THE WAY I LIVE IN TENNESSEE!!!""
Do you have to have car insurance to get a driver's license?
In Arizona plus the car does have insurance but my name is not on the insurance so do i need to be on the insurance in order to get a driver's license?
Health insurance question plz help?
My husband lost his job and my and our child health insurance was with him. Can i get health insurance my employee even through its middle of the year will my husband loosing r insurance qualify us qualify event that allow you to enroll
Whats the cheapest car insurance in ME?
Mazda RX7 1986 23yo driver no lapse have a wet and reckless from california. Need cheapest Liability coverage
""How much does private health insurance cost in Johannesburg, South Africa for 1 healthy young person?""
My husband may be relocated to South Africa for about a year. My sister was going to come with us. My husband gets health insurance through his work for him and I and my two kids. My sister would have to get her own health insurance. I understand that you want private coverage over there b/c its considerably better. We are from the U.S. Does anybody know the average cost (just an estimate) of about how much it would cost her per month for private health care insurance over there for one person? We would be in the Johannesburg area. She is 26 yrs old, non smoker, physically fit, no health problems at all, etc. No maternity coverage needed either.just a basic just in case something happens plan. Shes had no prior surgeries or anything else like that and no pre existing conditions. She also does not take any medications. Any info on this would help a lot! Thanks.""
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private hire taxi insurance online quote
""Can I drive someone esles car, I f I dont have car insurance?""
Hi everybody, I have a quick question. My friend sometimes gives me a car. His car is insured and registered. But I don't have a car and don't have a car insurance obviously. Another thing is that he was my roommate and my drivers license are registered for the same address as his dl. Right now I live in another place. I have heard that if your drivers licenses are registered for the same address it might be a problem. So my questions are: - Is that ok for me to drive his car? - And should I change my drivers licens address ? or this is not true about this rumor?""
How much will motorycycle insurance be for a 17 year old?
im getting a 487cc Suzuki gs500f, how much do you think insurance is going to be? also how can i lower the cost of insurance, will it lower when i turn 18? im taking the msf course and getting it under my family plan if possible thx""
Can i get a ticket for no insurance?
Can i borrow my moms car. I have a valid drivers license and her car is insured under her name i'm not on the policy. Can i get a ticket for no insurance if im not on her policy?
""Insurance- Cabin, not sure which insurance?""
We live ouside of Canada, but own property with a cabin on it. My dad and aunt own it. According to the insurance if one of the owners (ppl on the insurance) are not on the property (say, 500 miles away) if something happens (like someone falls breaks there leg) to someone we take there, we are not covered and could sue us. If my dad put me on the insurance would our aunt have the right to sell the property without us having any say? He thinks that if I am put on the insurance I will be on his half and my aunt will still have her half therefore giving her more power. Is there any way around this insurance and suing thing if I want to go up there with some friends without them?""
Insurance costs?
How much do you pay for your medical/life insurance each month? Mine is about RM200.
Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?
Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?
How do I get insurance help for pregnant women?
I was on vacation in Hongkong when i learned im 3 months pregnant, now im back in California and already in my 26th week. How do I get help applying for government programs (i dont have medical insurance) like AIM, since my husband's income is a little over for Medical.""
What would be the approximate cost of insurance on an 2004 Acura TL for a 17 year old boy?
What would be the approximate cost of insurance on an 2004 Acura TL for a 17 year old boy?
Why not lower heath care insurance than universal health care?
I pay $450 a month for my health insurance, why dont they just cut the cost in half? Then people could afford it. Its alot for me but worth it, i had spinal meningitis at 18 and without id be dead.""
""How much do you think car insurance would be, ballpark range?""
I'm getting my first car in a few weeks, and we're going to *** it to my parents' insurance. They have a car and a van, and I wonder what the difference would be to add my volkswagon new beetle-to-be to their plan. My goal is to budget $400 to the car each month for payments and insurance. Do i have the right idea? (payment $150-200 hopefully) That'll leave me $400 give or take spending and saving. Thanks much.""
Help me find health insurance quick!! please!?
I dunno if I'm overreacting, but I've been researching esophigal cancer ( I was sick a lot a couple years ago, but I never thought it was long enough period of time, or frequent enough to cause any damage) and I would like to be checked out. It actually seems the more I read, the more i seem to feel like I'm having symptoms right now... I have been known to be a worrier... Could I worry myself to the point of feeling like my throat is burning? or that I'm burping a lot? (i'm probably swallowing lots of air right now ] and coughing (i've been known to gag and cough when I worry myself) I would like to go to the doctor asap, could someone please help me find an affordable health insurance plan. My zip is 16066, if that matters.. Thank you""
About car insurance what will happen?
okay so a few days ago i was driving my breaks dident stop in time it was very slow and i wasent going that fast at all my breaks dident stop in time and i left a very very lil scrab on a guys car and he said if i cant get 220 dollars by tomorow he will call my moms car insurance will that make the price higher?
How much will my insurance go up with 2 points on my record with allstate? im 21 yrs old.?
How much will my insurance go up with 2 points on my record with allstate? im 21 yrs old.?
What is the cheapest car insurance company?
What is the cheapest car insurance company?
Becoming an insurance agent in Texas?
How does one become an insurance agent in Texas?
Car insurance so cheap........?
21st century insurance (previously aig insurance) is giving me a basic coverage for 6 month car insr quote for 280 dollars. even i had 4 speeding in the past 5 years...still is the above low rate possible
Can my car insurance company do this?
I called my insurance company yesterday to get a quote for a change of vehicle as I was planning to buy a new car. They said my monthly premium would still stay the same and the quote was only valid till end of the day which is fair enough. They said they give the quote on whatever the insurance rate is at the current time so if i was to call another day it could go up but it shouldn't go up that much. So I went to view the car yesterday evening and decided to buy the car. I called my insurance company today and they said it would cost me an extra 350 to get me insured on the car. So i asked them how could it go from nothing to 350 within a day. They come out with the quote is based on the daily rate of insurance and they cant do nothing about it. I wouldn't have mind if it went up by 100 or so but from nothing to 350 in one day is a big jump. Is there anything I can do?
Health Insurance Advice?
I'm currently laid off and need insurance for myself. I'm not sure what insurance company to go with. Also I'm not familiar with how health ins works. Like deductibles, co-insurance percentages, office visits covered or not covered. I don't go to the dr a lot but recently I've been in a car accident and will be going to the dr more often. I also don't want to pay that much either.""
Do I need to add my unborn baby to my health insurance before I deliver?
I'm not due until May 19 but I read in a book that if you choose to add your unborn child to your health insurance, you can. But no one can tell me for sure if I need too. Open enrollment for my insurance isn't until September of next year, after my baby is born. What do I need to do?""
How do I get health and dental insurance?
I am getting married soon. I will be 18 and he will be 21. I have blue cross blue shield through my dad's work and the magnolia health plan(kinda like medicaid) bc I was adopted. ...show more
The world of car insurance?
the idea that dropping the price of car insurance for men a small amount and increasing the female amount a huge hike has nothing to do with gender that's the con it's the absolute greed of government and big business hand in hand raking in a fortune as they did when changing the  s p to the criminal decimal currency? the question is why do we Joe public put up with this crap
What does it mean Going of your parents car insurance? ?
I heard that you can register the car to my parents car insurance and it will be loads cheaper for myself, but its apparently fraud? What could happen? If I crash my car should I just leave it and run?""
Pregnancy health insurance plans
I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and I am waiting to start my first cycle following the pregnancy. With that pregnancy I was using medicaid but I saw how hard it was to get an appointment since there were so many people. This time around my husband and I would like to start trying in about a month and we would like to get insurance. I am looking for insurance that covers pregnancy with a pretty low deductible. I would like it if the monthly payments were 200 or lower. Does anyone have insurance that they recomend?
""What is the definition of junk insurance and did all insurance companies, even Blue Cross, once offer them ?""
it is a good thing you did not get seriously ill because you would have lost everything and still be dying a miserable death. BTW, Insurance companies did not call their product junk insurance. It was easy takings from suckers though.""
Insurance for driving my bf car?
I am getting my driving license, how much roughly will cost the insurance to drive my boyfriend's car? It is an old petrol skoda... Thank you!""
private hire taxi insurance online quote
private hire taxi insurance online quote
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