#idk if ill delete this when i wake up or if i make a proper shippy hc post abt them 🤔

[salveticn]

;; small erichthemis thoughts ( bc i'm abt to fall asleep and feel very soft rn ) :

themie is SO enamored with erich you have no idea ... but he will not admit it right away and definitely not verbally . he will lead the dance with gestures and simple acts of affection , slowly making his way into his heart with soft smiles , praise , and gifts .

speaking of praise , themie will most likely shower erich with it : whether they're cuddling , holding hands , or just hugging , erich can expect a heartfelt compliment leave themie and directed his way , accompanied with maybe a stifled chuckle or a kiss on the cheek .

themie is willing to harm whoever harms erich . for him , he will take a bullet and sacrifice everything if it means he gets to see him smile . he will fight whoever made him the burger and added pickles despite clearly requesting no pickles at all .

themie expresses his adoration through gestures , so erich can expect him to grow very clingy with time...but it's never exaggerated : he will respect erich's boundaries . all he ever wants is to see him happy .

[irregulardiaryposts]

23:08 23/10/2020 Fuckie wukie :( i have a chem and math test next week and i have to start proper doing my personal statement, im so stressed :(

 ive always wanted to keep a "diary" coz i think it would be cool to look back on but they are also kinda cringe . i wish i kept diaries when i was younger cos i dont remember anything from before age like 10. do i have amnesia? probs not but a diary wouldve still been cool to look at. i think it wouldnt have been cringe for an 8 year old to keep a diary because they dont have any concept of what cringe is, but it could be weird looking back at this and say CRINGE even tho all im doing is writing some works on a notepad.. maybe everything we do is cringe with enough time and growth. ill probably wake up tomorrow and delete this cos i think its cring. im writing cringe a lot. cringe cringe CrInGe CrInGe cringeeeee. oh well. 

i kinda like typing this out tho and the font looks cool so i might keep doing this every now and then. wifi is currently broken or some shit idk and i have to entertain myself without internet. i feel like an oogabooga man. thoughts... brain,... hm... 

i cant wait for christmas, but its the same every year isnt it? i feel like as a child you love the holidays and the holidays love u by giving you a break, time to spend with people, and presents and gifts and shit. but as you get older it dies down into a dull love for the holidays because time doesnt move as slow as it once did and its over before you know it , and youve got deadlines and stress and youve spent all your money on other people, you barely had time to go out with friends because you were studying or whatever and suddenly youve gained 30 pounds coz youve been stuck inside for ages. when i get older i want to really love christmas again, because at the moment i dont feel the love i once felt.. it gets crushed by school and stress and shit. im not even gonna reread what ive wrote because i feel like ill just delete everything or edit it so its so boring. if theres spelling mistakes deal with it. 

ive gotten into reading again which is good. i really do like reading since its like an escape, but it gets so hard to want to read and then i feel so crap if i havent read in a week or something. i need to be easier on myself , at least im making an effort to read which is good . 

i have this thing where i dont feel even slightly productive doing something for a long time (like reading or studying too) but then i get to a point where ive been doing as much as i can for a wee while and i look back and it really fucking adds up. like jesus ive read over 15 books since july and yet i still feel like its worthless everytime i try to  read. like what??? its like i do and also dont understand that small things add up to a big thing and that anything i do can help even if its just a small amount. go big or do at least something ya know. i never understood why go big or go home was a phrase because it doesnt really make sense. its always better to do a little positive thing when you cant do something bigger than nothing at all. yeah . the little things really do matter ya know. 

anyway bye