#idk just had some thoughts that its greater than just an old breakup with someone and the loss of an opportunity for a kind of happiness

[uldren-sov]

I was thinking about this a little bit with Camy and her like aim/drive for fame and the kind of ravenous way she's attacking this opportunity, in the frame of how that frames her personal life.

When it comes to The Breakup I think there's still a lot of unaddressed pain there spurred on by her need to continue with her life and continue to work and achieve and reach toward her dream. So the bulk of that lingering sadness is ignored in favor of work, of performing, of her ambition even in the wake of her feelings emerging. But even that sadness is secondary to the recognition that loss of a love, perhaps THE love, and her ONE CHANCE at love is now in the past. It's devastating to know that there is no going back to that love and her focus is too narrow, her passion is too great, her drive is too strong to think that her dream and her personal life could be anything other than a zero-sum game anymore.

Additional lil ramblings under the cut.

Given the industry and the projection that she wants out of her life, her assumption is that there won't be a lot of opportunities for meaningful relationships. No offense to G and Vic but celebrity marriages don't exactly seem successful or particularly inspiring once you scratch the surface. So, I don't think it's too unreasonable an assumption for her to have that a lot of personal relationships better happen before making it big: or else relationships are doomed to the trappings and drama of fame. (And its not as though she has a good example at home either given she has a CONTENTIOUS relationship with her parents and the only other important adult example of long-term commitment was Lucy, a single mother)

I don't think she sees a way that she has her cake and eats it too, in the way of like, she can't win BOTB, achieving her dream, and also have a meaningful romantic relationship that could compare to what she had.

So more than anything I think she mourns the fact that she had love, first, while she also had the band, friends, some modicum of success, and second to that, lesser to that, was the loss of a relationship with Seven.

Now, would that love would have happened if it wasn't with Seven? PERHAPS NOT. But seeing as she's not hopeful to find love in the future and she can look back and see that she had love and lost it, is worse than losing that love -with Seven-.