#idk man maybe if you find yourself being really negative about your fandom you should distance yourself from it bc it's clearly

[cashewcashew]

ok so here’s i guess the how and why for making in-person community. granted im not particularly good at it. i’ll probably make a whole ass essay with actual sources and shit soon but this’ll do for now.

also fair warning, this is from experience in US cities and suburbs. but also that covers about like 40%ish of ppl on this site sooo. idk how this applies in rural areas or outside of like anglophone countries. maybe it works, maybe not.

also also, these are things that have worked for me as someone who’s autistic, often depressed, and hella anxious, especially socially. and doing these things has even helped with at least the depression.

first, the why:

many people on tumblr, myself included, spend i’d say at least 60% of their time on tumblr (or other social media doesn’t matter). if im wrong, whatever, that’s not the point. and that’s fine!! tumblr is really good at connecting you to other people who share your interests. that’s often a prerequisite to being friends with someone.

however, if you’re like me, then perhaps you block or unfollow anyone who says something you very much disagree with, or just has different interests. and that’s fine too!! social media is tailor made (maybe tumblr less so since it’s no mans land for advertisers) to generate engagement. the most efficient way to do so is to tap into extreme negative (and sometimes positive) emotions, creating an often hella toxic environment. ridding your environment of toxins is usually pretty good.

the downside is that this really does create a bubble. and that’s not really something you can avoid on social media unfortunately, regardless of what platform it is. you gotta go meet people in person to step out of that bubble.

and again, that bubble itself isn’t necessarily bad! it just tends to be incomplete.

now, i can guarantee that you have interests and aspirations and whatnot that just are not gonna be found on tumblr (or probably social media in general). like, im a huge baseball fan. i ain’t gonna find very many baseball fans on the [insert fandom here] site. there’s a million other things that apply here too. maybe you’re a rodeo enjoyer. or maybe you race sled dogs or smtg idk. point is, these are things you may (or must) have to find people in your area to do the things with.

important addendum here: this is also a pasty pale website if those polls are to be believed. and i’m one of em. there’s so much cool shit that BIPOC people in your area are making and doing that just doesn’t get to the vast majority of white people. and you dont have to like explicitly search for black communities near you and try to insert yourself. just like go somewhere that isn’t white-dominated and make friends.

second important addendum here: there’s next to no old people here (i’m talking like 50+). it’s at most like 3%. cross-generational interaction is super low while also being really important. and that means interacting with kids too (like younger than 13). straight up, for many, probably most people here, you’re not friends with old people that aren’t also family. and that includes me. and that’s not great for just your growth as a human being. there’s a reason elders are important in the vast majority of communities. but also most of em aren’t on social media (well maybe on facebook and twitter, but not here). you gotta have in person communities to be friends with people at all sorts of stages of life.

a lot of this also just comes from personal beliefs that your life should be enjoyable and love-focused (love in the general sense, like i love borger), and that healthy, positive relationships with people (again in a general sense) are crucial to a fulfilled life.

and now the how:

the things i’m gonna list here are: cheap and/or free (unless stated otherwise), full of friendly people and staff who actually care about these places, largely accessible, and it’s not work. like, you can volunteer somewhere you like if you want, but a lot of people don’t want the work and commitment of volunteering when they already have a job. and again, that’s not to say volunteering is bad or something.

firstly: if you’re in college already, look online and see what clubs exist at your school. and then just go to a meeting. genuinely you never know what the people in that club are like other than that they have a shared interest with you (like here!). i joined my college’s student radio. turns out that well over half the people here are queer, including most of the paid staff like the gm. and this has become a second home for me. and yet, there’s so much diversity within this group of 50ish people.

if you like books, even if you basically never read, go to the library! it’s actually, genuinely free! and they have a ton of cool events all the time, including a lot of non-book ones! just search for your local county library. it’s probably on a bus route too if you have buses near you. and there’s such a variety of people there too!

if you want something competitive, or active (and it doesn’t have to be like strenuous), look up your local rec center! they have a ton of events all the time. and (like libraries), since they’re public facilities, they’re way more likely to be disability-friendly than most private places. it’s also much easier to hold them accountable for this and make these spaces disability-friendly. anyway, these are great spaces to get some exercise in a casual environment. a lot of em also hold arts events and food/nutrition related stuff. and they’re free!!!

next place: if you’re on this site, you’re probably a nerd or geek or whatever in some sense. if there’s one in your area, go to a games shop! ask the front counter something like, “hi, i’m new here. i was wondering if there are any groups looking for someone to join them.” if there is, then great! if not, they’ll probably tell you about some upcoming open event, where they’ll just let you come in, sit at a table, and start playing. you can even make a group chat at the end to organize games weekly or monthly or whatever. here, there might be like a $5/$10 fee or something to play.

if you’re an artist of any sort, or just like art in general, then visit a local arts market or something! you can even treat it like an exhibition if you don’t have money to spend, where you just walk around and talk to the vendors. alternatively, follow the social media for musicians who live in your area and they’ll likely post about local music gatherings that aren’t necessarily concerts. and a lot of these are free to enter!

ok if i think of anymore ill add them. and also i definitely wanna write like a proper essay about this so ill add that at some point. but yeah, just find people near you. you don’t have to like leave social media either

[sigilmint]

imagine not being able to embrace new content for the thing you like bc you like it so much that you've put up huge walls around it and have decided that no one, not even the creators or the artists those creators have given their blessing to, may come in and alter or expand your understanding of the thing you claim to enjoy

[mannatea]

*1) did you read the end of AoT, or hear about it? Has your opinion about aot changed during those years? now that it's all over I can definitely say that I'm disappointed and deeply hurt (especially with the death of my babies sasha and hange) although for some reasons different from yours. I understand if you don't want to talk about aot anymore, but the thing is,

Hi, hello, thanks for sending this almost out of nowhere. I really appreciate it! (Like, genuinely. That isn't sarcasm.)

I do recall that post I wrote about characterization, because I believe I also had a request to do one for Hange (which I think I did? I feel like there was a hideous artwork I did to go with it and I remember that way more than the post). I can't believe how long ago that was LOL!

I'll hit on a couple of points, or try to. I'm super flattered that you'd come to me for characterization help/advice... FeelsGoodMan. I mean, I'm kind of a washed up ol' fanfic writer now (blows the dust off of my works) but the one thing I've always tried to do is write right by the characters. They are the reason people are clicking on your story, after all; you'd best write them right.

(I fully acknowledge that I was not always successful in this endeavor. Of all the levihan works I put out into the world, the picky picky new me would probably chuck about half of them in the landfill for being OOC.)

I did not catch up fully on the series, though I do still follow a couple of people who read to the end so I have a kind-of moderate understanding of what happened (props to them, by the way; you are stronger and braver than me).

I think I've made peace with the series going a direction I had not anticipated and did not like. At least...to an extent. I'm sure with the right people I could spew endless rants into the air, but the reality is this: sometimes things evolve and change in a way that you, the audience, either:

1. Are not happy with.

2. Do Not Like.

3. Are disgusted/revolted/angered/saddened by.

These are three separate points because honestly, I think if the degree of unhappiness with a direction your favorite series takes is low, or even at the Definitely Don't Like That point, you're not likely to drop the thing, especially not cold turkey.

However, if that direction makes you feel a strong negative emotion, and makes you feel it for long enough—because the shift has a lasting impact for whatever reason—you may find it's in your best interest to, uh...part ways.

And when I say this, I don't just mean This Series! The same issue is taking place in my current fandom as well, to the point where I even made a post talking about it—about how hard it is to feel those sorts of disappointments, rage, fear... I know it sounds silly but when you write fanfiction, draw art, engage in a fandom by making friends or interacting with fanworks...you emotionally invest yourself in it. That makes it hard to let go, but sometimes you do have to ask yourself: should I, though?

That full post is for another day or maybe never (idk, if anyone wants to read that hit me up), but I let go of SnK. It started out interesting but before the timeskip they'd already lost me. It ended up becoming a series that was not meant for me. I've accepted it! And when I've kind of low-key paid attention to what was going on in the series (because even though I dropped it, I still wanted to know how it ended; I mean sure I'm nosy af, but I didn't invest myself into the series for four years only to lose interest in knowing how it ended) it just further solidified my understanding and belief that I did the right thing in dropping it.

Anyway, unfortunately I cannot offer you any "updated" advice for either character, because I'm just so separated from the series it's like...I've lost touch with them (if that makes sense). The one thing I think is probably true though, is that Hange and Levi are the types of characters whose core essences would not be significantly altered by temporary or short-term circumstances. And when I say short-term, I mean relative to how long they've already lived. Yes, Hange undoubtedly gets more "serious" and depressed as time goes on, but it's not as if she's lost what makes her her. Circumstances force her to put on that brave face and take charge where necessary, to put more energy toward serious discussions and making difficult decisions, but the curiosity, the desire to protect humanity: that would never go away. After all, Hange's curiosity, her drive to Do Good in the World: all of that came along way before the newest set of circumstances. So it's still there—she's still Hange. It's just...this looming disastrous new issue is in play and it requires a lot of energy that she used to devote to other things (and can no longer afford to).

I have no earthly idea if any of that will help you, but the most important thing about characterization is to try and put yourself into the shoes of the characters you're writing. Try to fully immerse yourself. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "What would Hange do?" and then really writing what YOU would do in that same circumstance. Pull from canon where you can to get a better grasp on characterization, ask a friend you trust (not a Yes Man kind of friend—someone who isn't afraid to tell you that your idea is OOC), write down character traits that you've seen to help you recall them more easily.

One last advice: no one is perfect at character writing. We all make mistakes or bite off more than we can chew with a character. Heck, the creator himself made sure we knew what a genius Erwin was and then had him form the most hare-brained dumbass plan ever (the suicide run YES I AM STILL SALTY I LOST MY BOY MARLOWE!!!). The key is always going to be to think twice. At least with fanfic you have the option of being able to take as much time as you want because you don't have deadlines to meet, so you can iron out issues like that (provided you can catch them, but you can also find yourself a lovely beta-reader to assist in those matters). Heck, if you try to write something and you realize you're out of your league, you can simply Not Post It, saving yourself a lot of pain and suffering. (Even I do this more often than I want to admit!)

Best of luck out there, and if you think of anything else feel free to send me another message. I hope this was at least one percent useful lmao.

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.

[noxiim]

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

[sapphicsurveys]

Is popularity a social disease? It depends. With politicians and such, it can become a disease. A disease that costs us all. Would you want to be a hippie? Yes!!! I’m really open-minded and I love reggae and different colours...I’ve thought about retreating into the hippie lifestyle before, not gonna lie... In college, were you ever given exams with extremely broad and deep questions such as, 'Why?' or 'What is truth?' I’m in college right now. I had a philosophy class, but I had to withdraw from it, so...yeah... Have you knowingly destroyed an endangered plant or animal? No. Actually, I don’t know which plants are endangered, so maybe unknowingly for plants... Did your parents bronze your first pair of baby shoes? I have no clue. Do you check for a train when crossing tracks in your car even though the arms aren't down? I don’t drive. Is there gossip going around about you right now? As always, there’s a bunch of fandom tea. I don’t really pay attention to the drama of people IRL, probably because I prefer to keep my circle small anyway. How many comic strips do you read daily: None (and I CANNOT get into manga.) If you were hiding from a burglar, would you hide in the closet or under the bed? Under the bed would be more logical, but I couldn’t fit under there.  What do you most commonly use milk for: drinking or cooking? Drinking. Who should provide the condoms in a relationship: the man or the woman? The man. His dick, his issue. His responsibility if she gets pregnant, not hers. That’s how an ideal world would work. Are you ever afraid that people hate you and they're just acting like they don't? I mean, it’s true, so, LMAO. When you're crossing the street with other people, do you ever feel a need to get to the other side first? No, I take my time, because I don’t wanna get hit by a car. Should people be able to go to college without a high school diploma if they score high enough on entrance tests? No, it would fuck up your life cycle. You learn a lot about yourself through high school. High school was never about learning about subjects anyway. Would you be embarrassed if people could hear you talking to your pets? No, everyone does it. If elephants were bred to a smaller size and sold as house pets, would you want one? Sure! Do you refer to people as 'dude'? When I’m annoyed at someone and trying to make my point. Do you remember the last time you wrote a 'snail mail' letter? Does my voting application count? Do you think beards/mustaches make men look older than they actually are? Depends on the man... Are you usually the one to initiate sex with your significant other? No, I prefer masturbation to sex, TBH. When I’m dating a girl when she wants sex I usually just want to cuddle LOL. I want to fantasize about her and pleasure myself to that but not actually do it with her...??? That wouldn’t make me asexual, IDK WTF it would make me. When you're having trouble burping when you feel like you need to, does patting yourself on the chest seem to help? I don’t have trouble burping. Do you have your wallet with you right now? No, it’s in my bag by my bed. If it ever came down to a final battle between good and evil and you knew that evil was going to win, who would you fight for? Evil, because if I fought for good, it would be pointless since it lost anyway, and evil would have a grudge against me so it might send me to a prison camp or something. But if I fight on evil’s side, maybe I can be pimpin’. Do you feel guilty when you borrow money from your parents? I don’t really borrow money from them. Do you constantly have times where you have no money and then earn a lot of money and you don't know what to do with it? No. Do you always see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life? Obviously. I’m the protagonist of MY life....of course, not the world’s though... Can you drive by a car accident without staring? I’m not the one driving ever, so I can stare without feeling guilty, I guess. Do you find it a challenge to congratulate your opponent who just beat you in a game or competition? Yes. I’m super competitive and salty. Do you think that no matter how cold or heartless someone seems there is always at least one thing in the world that they love? Yes. Sociopaths may not love people, but they sure can love things. Who is worse: Someone who doesn't repay a loan or someone that steals your CDs? I don’t know all this adulting BS. HELLPPPP. Why do you think so many homosexual men still go without condoms: because they don't know of the dangers, or because they don't care? It’s like a “fuck it” moment, probably. They’re like, “I’m horny, and at least no-one here can get pregnant, I probably won’t catch an STD, anyway.” Which is...wrong, a lot of the time, LOL. When you think about morality, do you think more in terms of good/bad people, or good/bad actions? Actions, 100%. Which of these female comedians is funnier: Ellen Degeneres or Margaret Cho? I’ve only heard of the second girl and not heard her jokes, but I don’t find Ellen really that funny. Are you scared of dying alone? I’m just scared of dying lol [2]. Are you most comfortable being treated by a doctor of the same sex as you? Of course, I don’t ever want to let a male get that intimate with me, LOL. Do you take daily walks? Yes, taking walks and listening to music is one of my favourite pastimes. Are there some slang terms you refuse to use? I don’t like a lot of the Gen Z’rs slang...I usually find myself using it anyway. Do you have a favorite pen that you use all the time? I wish I could have an aesthetic high-quality pen collection, it’s like my dream, but unfortunately I only have average ones. Have you ever changed an adult's diaper? WTF?? Do you think it's dangerous or a good thing when two very depressed people start to date each other? Dangerous. Y’all need to love yourselves before you love each other. Or else it’s just gonna be a constant flow of negativity. Do you know a game that is very stupid, yet very addicting? A lot of those dumb phone app games that make you pay for upgrades. Do you plan on having your children Christened/Baptised? I don’t want kids. Would regularly seeing videos of you interacting with people significantly improve your overall human effectiveness? That would be sooo much fun, but nothing I’d see would really surprise me. Have you ever misspelled 'misspell'? Nope. Have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours to study for an exam? I’m not sure if I’ve ever even stayed up for that long. Have you ever been in the back of a moving truck? Nope. When you were young, did you know some pop stars were gay? Yeah. Do you have control over how much peace there is in your mind? Sometimes I can zone it out listening to ASMR videos. If you got a backstage pass at a concert, would you feel better than everyone else? Yeah, of course. Not gonna lie. Is your microwave any other color besides white? It’s black. Would you prefer a bagel or an entire breakfast in the morning? Full breakfast, baby. Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. You can’t go wrong with it. Do you think that couples that elope have a better chance of staying together? The opposite. Do you know of a frozen dinner that tastes good? TBH, they all suck, but they’re still super convenient. I guess those Delimex Taquitos, if they count.. Will public restrooms no longer be separated by gender in the near future? Perhaps. If you do not eat red meat but eat fish are you a vegetarian? There’s a term. Pescatarian.  When you discard a piece of paper, which of the following are you more likely to do: rip it apart in pieces or crumple it? Rip it apart. Do you wear your pants and shorts above or below your waist line? Above, but I always have to pull them up because none of my clothes fucking fit me right. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sex change operation? I want one. SOOOO BAD. In an ideal world I could become a man. I have huge dysphoria. But it ain’t gonna happen. Do you call margarine 'butter,' even though you know the difference? They’re very different, and that would be offensive to butter. Do you bathe less when you are depressed? I bathe more. Should the ASPCA and RSPCA ban the practice of kidney transplants in cats, since cats can't give consent for the surgery? ???? Would you ever drink from a bowl or cup made out of human bones? Yeah, why not? Does your car normally smell good? I don’t have a car. Do you think 9/11 will be the worst thing you will see in your life? Nah, crimes and attacks are happening day by day, who knows when the next huge one will be. Do you tend to do more research for school or papers at the library or on the internet? Internet. Don’t think anyone uses the library for that anymore. Do you have an outfit you wear that makes you feel like a star? No, but I have some graphic Tees that I’m pretty proud of. You are working at McDonald's frying meat. Your manager is being a jerk and you are ticked. A customer comes in and orders a 20-piece box of nuggets. Out of anger towards your manager, would you pack 20 or more, or 19 or less in that box? 20 or more. Give the people what they want. Once you've made up your mind about the kind of person someone is, can anything they say or do change it? Probably not. Is there a single person whose whole existence you might be interested in studying? Yeah, a few celebrities would pique my interest. Do you think that cuddling with a member of the opposite sex, with no intention of sexual relations, is cheating? No way. Sometimes we all need a little cuddle. Which would you be willing to give up the internet for: world peace or immortality? Neither. I wouldn’t give up the internet for anything. Are you a redneck? No, the farthest thing from it. Do you think by 2050 there will be flying cars? Yeah. Should politicians be allowed to have a private life? I mean, obviously?? Everyone deserves that. Do you avoid going over to other people's houses because it makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place? Yeah, more like I avoid hanging out with people in general, LOL. If someone you don't know too well puts you in the buddy list of his or her profile, would you be suspicious, or would it be OK that he or she did that? I’d love it. Do you have a trash can in every room of your home? Nope. Who said "I love you" first: you, or your partner? I’m single. Do you ever lay down and watch a movie, only to fall asleep in the very beginning and wake up when the movie is over? No, but this happens with YouTube videos sometimes. Do you say 'thank you' before leaving a store, even though you may not have purchased anything? Yeah. Would you approve if your significant other wanted to have a nude painting done? Sure. Art is art. If there were nine guilty people and one innocent, and they all had to be together, would you put them all in jail or set them all free? What was the crime they were guilty for? Is your pet also your best friend? The best friend I’ll ever have. She loves me absolutely unconditionally. When the toilet backs up, do you call someone to fix it or do you do it yourself? I call my dad to fix it. Have you ever recited a love poem to your significant other? I used to write poems and stories for my ex. It kinda makes me wanna vomit thinking back on it. Would you rather be 'all head and no heart' or 'all heart and no head'? Nope. Nope. This is too hard. I refuse. Are your teeth discolored? A lil’ bit. When you were a child, did you make or buy your Halloween costumes? Buy. Have you ever seen a movie and liked it but upon further viewing come to like it a lot less? Don’t think so. But this happens with a lot of songs. If your father was a minister, would you want him to preside over your wedding ceremony? No. Would you prefer to watch porn or a really good comedy? Depends on the mood I’m in. How long did your longest phone conversation ever last? Maybe 4 hours. Do you put your initials on everything you own? No, that’s lame. Do you like or dislike people based on who else likes or dislikes them? Not at all. Do you have a friend who you hang out with only when there is nothing else to do? No. Which is harder: calculus or trigonometry? Fuck, I can’t do either whatsoever. Do you often find yourself correcting your parents? All the time, correcting my mom. I’m smarter than her in a lot of ways. If you could stop aging at a certain age, do you know what that age would be? I have to experience more ages in order to decide that. Do you more often eat off of real plates or paper plates? Ideally, paper plates. I’m a huge germaphobe. When I move out I’ll only purchase paper and plastic ware. Have you ever had tape over your mouth? Yeah. If you encountered someone you totally didn't know and he or she seemed to tell you the solutions to your uniquely specific problems without having been told what they were, would you be more thankful or freaked out? I’d probably develop feelings for them on the spot. Would you rather eat a raw egg or a scoop of raw hamburger? Raw egg sounds tasty. Do shy kids tend to grow up to be freaks? No. Unless...they’re sociopaths. But maybe sociopaths aren’t freaks either, just another type of person. When you put on a shirt, do you button up or down? I can’t wear shirts with buttons, since I have such a big bust, it completely flops every time. Do you scent your letters when you write to a special someone? Yeah...it’s sexy. Is punk influenced more by music or attitude? Music. Did you ever start a thread that got at least 40 posts? Yeah. Can you recall the ending of the last story you read? No. Have you ever had your head stuck in an unusual place? I don’t recall. Do you have any weird or funny local slang? IDK, does “Boca Bitch” count? People don’t really use it that often but it’s true and it’s a well-known term. When you come online, is there always one person you look for? Yeah...well, a few people. Do lava lamps make you sick looking at them? No, they’re aesthetic af, I want one, I always have. Will Hollywood ever run out of ideas for movies? It’s not that they’ve run out of ideas, they’re just lazy and only care about making money. Does P. Diddy telling everyone that he is the new Frank Sinatra make you want to roll your eyes? He was probably kidding. Do you think the state of the global environment will be better or worse in 50 years? Worse, of course. Global warming..and oil drilling. Endangered species. Do you eat dinner in the dining room or in the living room? In my bedroom. Which Mike Judge cartoon do you prefer: Beavis and Butthead or King of the Hill? King of the Hill. Have you ever fallen off your chair in public? Yeah. When sleeping, do you face the doorway or have your back to it? I sleep on my side. Do you find poetry that expresses pain and suffering to be more intriguing than other types? I don’t find poetry intriguing at all. Do you only pretend looks don't matter because you're ugly yourself? Looks do matter, though. Do you find limericks to be funny and clever or annoying? Again, not a poem fan. Do you think you'd be capable of representing yourself in court rather than hiring an attorney to do it for you? Maybe.. When you flirt with someone, is it obvious or more subtle? Obvious and awkward. Which character do you think weighs more: Jabba the Hutt or Fat Bastard? What? Do you think couples break up mainly because of differences they can't resolve or because they have found someone new? They get tired of each other. Do you reread things that are written well? Yes. What hurts more: getting poked in the eye or biting your tongue? Getting poked in the eye. Do you prefer merry-go-rounds or ferris wheels? Ferris wheels. You get to look at all the scenery, be intimate, and hang in the air. Which do you prefer: original or flavored Tootsie Rolls? Original. Chocolate is better than fruit flavouring. If you had three children, would you rather have two boys and a girl, or two girls and a boy? I don’t want kids. Is having a threesome basically approved cheating? It’s approved polyamory. Is it a turn off to you if the woman has a deep, manly voice or if the man has a high, pre-pubescent voice? No, I love it. Have you copied (or “ripped”) your entire CD collection onto your computer? When I was younger and had an iPod Nano. Do you have buns of steel? No. Did you use floaties on your arms when you were learning to swim? Yeah, and I still have trouble swimming even now. Did your first ever snog involve French kissing? Yes. Do you know a person who is physically unattractive and yet a flirt? Yeah, me. LOL. Are there a lot of programs on your computer that you don't know how to use? Adobe Audition af. I pretty much only use it to make instrumentals and have no idea how to do anything else with it. Do you live in an uncomfortable environment, such as where you feel you cannot be yourself? No, not really. If you had discovered a body on the side of the road would you see if it was still alive? Yes, and then call 911. Does punishing everyone for the actions of the few get us closer to utopia? Of course not. Can you finish an entire 2-liter bottle of soda by yourself in a single sitting? No. Have your parents ever forbidden you to play a certain type of music in their house? No. Since you reached dating age, have you been single for more than three years? Nope, but I suspect that will happen soon. When buying shampoo or soap, do you choose one because of what they put in it, or because you like the smell? What they put in it for shampoo -- I need dandruff control due to my psoriasis. Have you ever had writer's block? All the time. *** Have you given anything up for Lent? I’m not Catholic. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Myself, if you count online shopping. Are you planning on dyeing your hair any time soon? No. Who was the last person you saw that you haven’t seen in a while? Annalisa. Do you sing in front of people or only when you’re alone? Both. What kind of car do you have? I don’t have one. When was the last time you left your cell phone somewhere? Never. I’m super conscientious of where I put it. Are your nails manicured right now? They never are. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? Neither. Are you more of a summer person or a winter person? Neither, I love spring the most. Would you rather go to a rock concert or a rap concert? Rock by FAAARRR. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Yeah, my ex was black. Do your parents ever tell you weird things you did as a kid? A lot. It interests me. How old is your best friend? What constitutes a best friend? What does your favorite necklace look like? I don’t wear jewelry. Are you keeping a secret from anyone? Yeah. Is there anything with stripes on it in the room you’re in? Probably. Too lazy to check. Can you count how many vacations you’ve been on in your lifetime? No. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? Of course not. Do you have cold hands or are you generally a warm person? Cold hands. People are always telling me how cold my body is. Do you keep any type of diary or journal? Used to. I can never stick to it, though. What was the last thing that made you really happy? Hmm...don’t remember. Can you remember what you dreamed about last night? I did when I woke up, not anymore. Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? OMG, all the time. What was the last thing someone bought for you? Something from my mom, don’t remember what. Do you have a good friend of the opposite sex that is not a boy/girlfriend? Yeah. Would you rather read a book or watch the movie? Watch the movie. I need the sensual experience and the visuals. Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? Auditory x10000. Cover songs or the original song? The original. Are you where you want to be in life at this point in time? I’m on the way. *** Do you put your name on your food coverings? No. What is something you have acquired with age? Maturity, self-knowledge, musical taste, culture. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes and no. I love businesswear, but I also love crazy T-shirts. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? 100%. Would be fun. Do you enjoy eating? Yeah, a little too much. Have you ever ridden in a race car? Go-Karts at Boomers, LOL! Do you enjoy making people laugh? Yeah, I’m a pretty funny person. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? I’m gay. What is something that would make you happy right now? Sleep. I’m tired af but am determined to finish this survey. Are you a hygiene nut? No, but I am hygienic. Are you open-minded? Completely. Are you mathematically inclined? NOOO, it’s my worst subject. I’m linguistically inclined. What is something for which you have no patience? Technological issues and hypocrisy. Are you too concerned/worried with your appearance? No, I’m way too UNconcerned. Do you tend to be a jealous person? Yeah, but I’ve been getting a bit better about that...I think...OK, not really. Do you enjoy history? Nope, unless I’m learning about a place I’m traveling to and the history of the sites I visit/activities I do. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? Pajamas, unless I’m going out and feel funky. Do you value looks or personality more? Both. Have you ever changed religions? Not really. I was raised a culturally Jewish atheist, and I’ve stayed that way. Do you have a high tolerance for people? Yeah, unless they’re hypocrites or homophobes/transphobes. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up? No. Do people interest you? Totally. *** Category One: Clothing I wear Converse. I wear plain black skate shoes. I really love dresses. I wear a lot of band t-shirts. I wear a lot of black. I like wearing skirts and dresses with Converse. People at my school often copy my style. I love jeans. I dress the way I want to, I don’t care what anyone thinks about my style. Wearing clothes I like gives me a lot more confidence. I don’t really look to anyone else for style ideas. Category Two: General Appearance Something about my appearance is very unique and distinct. I have more than one birth mark. I have very tanned skin. I tan extremely easily in the summer. I am skinny. But I have curves. I wear glasses. I have my father’s eyes. My self-esteem has been getting much better. People have told me straight up that they are jealous of my body - and it feels good to get compliments like that. I don’t spend a lot of time getting ready - I basically look the way I do when I wake up. Category Three: Annoyances I hate when people are overly cocky and arrogant. I hate when people make assumptions - they’re normally totally off. When I’m standing in line at a cash or something, I hate when people stand practically on top of me. It doesn’t make the line move any faster! I strongly dislike when I get excess lotion or water in between my fingers, and I don’t really understand why. If someone pisses me off enough, I’m not shy to tell them off. If someone is asked to stop doing something more than once, I feel it’s okay to start yelling at them. I hate hypocrites - but I can be a hypocrite myself sometimes. I hate people who act like know-it-alls. And I hate it even more when it’s a subject I know more about than them. I absolutely hate when people try to drag me into their pathetic drama. My number one pet peeve is when someone has too many pet peeves. Category Four: Surveys I find it stupid when people take the tags off surveys, but survey makers who go as far as making a “hate list” for all those who do it are just assholes themselves. I think I may have a serious addiction to surveys… Oh well! If you’re going to insult me directly more than once while taking a survey I made, then don’t even bother taking my survey. In a way I’m a hypocrite for saying that, because if there’s no tag on the survey, then I will call the survey maker an idiot and whatnot, if I seriously feel they are and if I’m in that bad of a mood. (*rolls eyes*) I’d be a millionaire if I got paid to do this! Why do survey makers insist on having a certain number of comments and subscribers before they make another survey? This is for fun, it isn’t a business, and you aren’t making money off of it, so why are you being so anal about communication with your survey-takers? I don’t see the point in lying on surveys. Why take them if you aren’t going to tell the truth? Category Five: Things I Seriously Love Coffee, and caffeine in general. The show Pawn Stars. Feeling good about myself. Encouraging other people to stay positive and be strong. Tattoos and piercings. Anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Making and taking surveys. Dreadlocks. Rain and thunderstorms. Music, of course. Random, interesting facts. Category Six: Music I can play piano. I can play bass. I can sort of play guitar. I listen to music every day. I own at least three instruments. I still buy CDs. I really want to learn to play drums. I wouldn’t mind learning to play the violin as well. Practically everyone in my family can play some sort of instrument. I used to take dance lessons. Category Seven: Photography I own a FujiFilm camera. I take walks so I can take pictures. I have a folder on my computer of pictures I’ve taken. I love taking pictures of fireworks. I also love taking pictures of nature. One of my favorite settings on my camera is macro. I have a blink detector on my camera. My camera takes amazing, bright, vivid photos. I want to make a photo album of pictures that I’ve taken. I wouldn’t mind being a photographer. I don’t know what I would do without my (phone) camera.  Category Eight: Relationships & Friendships I have serious trouble keeping lasting friendships. But I have no trouble keeping a lasting romantic relationship. Those two don’t directly relate to each other - I don’t ditch my friends for my partner, ever. I have been in a relationship for almost two and a half years. It is my first relationship. I have only ever kissed one person. My partner and I have been in a band together. In my opinion, friends are for socializing, not relying on for rough times. I love going out with friends. I have been in a band with all my best friends before. I have been verbally and psychologically abused by friends before. I have punched one of my friends in the face.