#idk what to do man it sucks always having to b the instigator and Still not managing to make the connection

[artificialcats]

u__u

[kendrixtermina]

for the ship thing thoughts on claumitri and ingrid/dorothea?

ingrid/dorothea?

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - IDK why everyone wants Ingrid to be sapphic when she’s the one (1) character who explicitly says that she’s not sapphic. Or at least, shoots down Dorothea’s flirting in the B support. I think there’s value in having a non traditionally girly character who’s still hetero, many girls who want bfs get told that they will never get one if they don’t act stereotypical and that sucks. Or you could even read her as aspec given that she’s not too interested in pairing up or being attractive, and that the Glenn thing was arranged. She can still admire him and be sad he died without necessarily having the hots for him after all they probably grew up together. Also I don’t really see the particular appeal of those 2 characters together, they don’t have that much in common and Dorothea has a bajillion better options including sapphic ones. 

How long will they last? - As long as it takes Ingrid to say she’s not interested

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I kind of see why Dorothea might think she’s hot or mistakenly assume she’s into girls as the whole tomboyish look is something ppl sometimes do to communicate that, and she probably finds something relatable about their experiences re: slimy jerks. She does indisputably kick butt and have pretty hair

How was their first kiss? - I’ve had the experience before where the other person gives it a nice, proper try but you can tell they’re not really into it

For the rest of this meme I will not be a spoilsport and entertain the thought/ try to think about what it would be like if they DID get together. It’s certainly inconceivable to read it that way, perhaps Ingrid simply wasn’t ready yet at that time/ or it was an internalized thing.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - I’m certain Dorothea explicitly tried that on screen in the paralogue XD

Who is the best man/men? - Ingrid might try bringing Sylvain, Felix or Dimitri if we’re in a timeline where he lived. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Petra or Bernie

Who did the most planning? - Dorothea

Who stressed the most? - Ingrid

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  Neither would be much for ostentatiousness but I think Dorothea would want a bit of romantic florish

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Their jerkish ex suitors, even if they are important nobles of [winning faction]

Sex:

Who is on top? -  Definitely Ingrid

Who is the one to instigate things? - Dorothea

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  - I can’t see Ingrid being very kinky, but Dorothea might ease her into it. 

How long do they normally last? - a while

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Very much so

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Dorothea really wants to have a relationship so once she gets one she’s gonna want PDA, Ingrid will probably be more stiff and proper - but I can see how a situation where she explores this/eases into it might be interesting to read. It’s not like Ingrid is completely unromantic given all her lofty ideas about honor and how she likes these high fantasy-eque books. It’s somewhere in there

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Would probably not have babies. 

How many children will they adopt? - Dorothea canonically looks after oprphans at least in Silver Snow so now entirely unlikely like two or three

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Ingrid being the responsible one

Who is the stricter parent? - Ingrid

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ingrid

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Dorothea

Who is the more loved parent? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Ingrid

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Dorothea

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Ingrid

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither

Who does the grocery shopping? - Ingrid. 

How often do they bake desserts? - Often enough. Gotta appreciate how so many people in this game heartily enjoy their nom stuff, even the girls. I think Lorenz is the only one noted as not having much of an appetite. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - This is Ingrid we’re talking about. We’re not partying until there’s a roasted stuffed pugket involved

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Hm. On the one hand Dorothea’s the romantic on the other hand Ingrid takes her obligations & loyalty seriously. But I think Dorothea would be the sort to really enjoy being the surprise-ee so let’s say Ingrid

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Neither. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? -  Neither. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Ingrid, mostly cause it’s her pets (Horses & pegasi chiefly)

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Dorothea

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Dorothea

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Ingrid. She has a jar where she collects all the spare change

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Dorothea

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both, though probably Ingrid more often cause she likes the outdoors

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Dorothea strikes me as the decorating kind so regular

What are their goals for the relationship? - Probably to find their freedom together  and also help the poor. I suppose that is something they might have in common

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Ingrid

Who plays the most pranks? - Dorothea

claumitri

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - Sure why not?  There’s nothing in particular that makes me think “Wow those would go super well together” but also nothing to the contrary. I’ve seen good fic for it.  I guess they’re just the two dudes who get the most characterization and also sorta get along/interact, so there’s a lot to work with.

How long will they last? - Hm. Dimitri would strike me as someone would like to be serious and longterm about things. They would need to work out the politics first but there’s no reason why they couldn’t last

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I’d say it wouldn’t take them that long to get started, but somewhat longer to really get to a deep level. Largely because Claude is quick to build surface friendships but slower to really show his real feelings, but also Dimitri wouldn’t necessarily realize that he’s holding something back or press the issue. It helps that they are both just likeable people tho. Dimitri is not going to pass up a chance for a heart-to heart talk. If he got through to that hidden more idealistic side of Claude I think they’d click and get something lasting going. They would definitely always have disagreements about their methods and are fairly different in how they deal with their feelings, but they both have the will to work with ppl with different opinions and build bridges. 

How was their first kiss? - Claude probably quipped something about how it was surprisingly passionate. Dimitri turned into a tomato that same instant. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Dimitri

Who is the best man/men? - Dedue and either Nader or Byleth.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Not applicable. But if it were, probably Hilda and Mercedes or Flayn. 

Who did the most planning? - Claude. He likes them feasts. 

Who stressed the most? - Dimitri. Thankfully Claude is chill enough for both of them and knows to distract him

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lorenz’ and Sylvain’s jerk fathers. They might be important nobles but they’re jerks. Edelgard, Arundel and Rufus would already be dead in the AM timeline but if they weren’t they wouldn’t be invited anyways. Claude seems like might actually counteract Dimitri’s tendency to take bad treatment out of politeness. Felix might say that he won’t come but then show up anyways.Or there would be some conspiracy to kidnap him and make sure he comes. Lysithea came up with the plan and recruited Ingrid, Hilda and Sylvain to help her.

Sex:

Who is on top? -  Hm. I could see either doing it. Perhaps Claude would suggest that they switch it up for novelty. But Dimitri is definitely the little spoon, despite his actual size XD

Who is the one to instigate things? - Claude

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  -  The discussion would be absolutely hilarious cause Dimitri’s easily embarassed and Claude is a bit of a troll. But he wouldn’t go overboard or make Mitya uncomfortable Claude generally knows when to stop the gremlin act see that one scene with Flayn 

How long do they normally last? - average but it would be pretty intense

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Not necessarily I can get either getting a kick out of just being the one administering the pleasure. 

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. - You’ve got one person with super strength and one with super toughness/regeneration. There is potential here. 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Methinks Dimitri would be pretty affectionate while Claude’s certainly flirty but the genuinely vulnerable/emotional stuff would have to be in private behind closed doors

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Perhaps Claude found some magic mpreg magic right next to where he got the magic cure for Lysithea…

How many children will they adopt? - No jokes aside Dimitri strikes me as the sort to want kids and also to make a point to choose to adopt. The people of Fodlan better get ready to get some adopted Almyran or Duscurian war orphan as their next king. Dimitri would just proudly stand by his adopted kid and Claude would handle the political fallout. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Dimitri

Who is the stricter parent? - Dimitri

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Certainly not Claude

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Dimitri

Who is the more loved parent? -  Both but in different ways. Dimitri is the affectionate parent who comforts the kids when they’re upset, and Claude is the designated fun parent that you can openly talk about everything with. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Dimitri

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dimitri cried so much

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Claude

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Claude

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Claude

Who does the grocery shopping? - Claude

How often do they bake desserts? - Probably not that often

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Claude certainly likes a good serving of nom stuff. And Dimitri’s huge, probably needs some fuel to keep functioning

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Claude strikes me as the surprise plans sort

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Claude

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Dimitri

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Not Claude. Dimitri tries but he’s clumsy

Who is really against chores? -  It’d not that Claude’s against it perse he just gets distracted thinking about stiff

Who cleans up after the pets? - Claude

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Claude

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Dimitri

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Dimitri

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Claude

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They do it together. Both like walking out in nature. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Dimitri isn’t much for decoration and Claude forgets about the holidays half the time

What are their goals for the relationship? - Just to be happy. Dimitri would want to have some separation between that and the politics - but it’s certainly helpful for the peace between the countries if the Kings are an item and they both care alot about promoting peace perhaps in slightly different but potentially complementary ways. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Claude

Who plays the most pranks? - Claude