#if I find out someone sent hate bc of a random rant I had I'll block the perpetrator

[keysmash-pizzaplex]

Venting here since it won't affect people.

Honestly it's super annoying to see people get pissed that Sun and Moon may combine if the poll ties. Like yes, the poll should've probably just had them as one character from the get go since we have a hard time picking between the 2 and they're one body anyway. But like, the person running that didn't really think of that? So combining them was a fun compromise/reward for accomplishing a difficult challenge like tying a poll and they shouldn't be getting shit bc other people's faves aren't winning like. Ugh.

Also! The poll is just for fun? Getting butthurt that the some characters are more popular than other characters is so fucking childish like. Dude we are voting on fictional robots. I'm sorry yours didn't win but like. Get over it. Make your own poll idc.

Especially since it's likely they'd win regardless of if one or both moved on just bc the dca fandom is really big rn since the game came out recently and a lot of us latched on to them. So acting like they're "teaming up" and will "definitely win now" is such a weak argument when it's very apparent that most people who like one dca like both. I mean Moon is a bit more popular but there's no way that Moon beats Puppet/Springtrap but Sun doesn't yknow?

Specifically there was one person that pissed me off by going on about how the puppet protects children and the dca kidnaps and kills them and called it like, hypocritical or something? And honestly fuck off. The dca cares about kids they're just controlled by Afton. Same reason the other glamrocks go haywire. Same reason every other animatronic in the game goes haywire tbh. The puppet murders people too, even if it's not children. Every robot in this series is a murderer so trying to take a moral high ground about that is dumb.

I dunno, just really got my hackles up. But it's pretty clear they were just lashing out bc they're salty their emotional support robot was gonna lose to my emotional support robots and I can understand being attached to characters. I just think bitching at the poll creator and whining in the tags is being a poor sport and an ass.

If you go looking for who I'm talking about don't fucking bother them, fictional robots aren't worth starting actual drama over. I blocked em bc I don't want to see them bitch about my blorbos and that should be the end of it.

This was way longer than intended oops. Guess it bothered me more than I thought lmao. Ah well, this is why we have readmores 😅

[crimeboys]

hiya i feel like ive seen you mention the sweeney todd au but. sitting here kicking my feet. if u would like an opportunity to rant abt it please take this as one -kai

oh hi!! yes i've mentioned it a few times mostly bc i was desperately trying not to make wilbur a barber LMAO. i'll be so fr, im probably never writing this thing forrealsies, especially bc there are so many details and storylines i do not feel like figuring out, so i can just tell you like. everything under the cut. it'll probably be a little jumpy bc i don't have any of this info actually written anywhere it's all in my mind lul.

WARNINGS: cannibalism, murder, abuse, suicide

it's basically just like. wilbur is sweeney. quackity is mrs. lovett. 13 years prior, wilbur was sent to prison by schlatt for "treason" and a bunch of bullshit political stuff bc well they had beef. a little bit before this, sally disappeared and wilbur claimed she left him, but he actually murdered her (do not know the reason yet, and if i did i forgot) and the only one who knows is quackity, but wilbur does not know that quackity knows. also wilbur definitely ate sally in some way bc well i always liked the idea the wilbur ate sally in canon. she's just a human instead of a salmon.

so it's 13 years later, and wilbur is getting off a boat with this guy tommy who has been helping him (which btw wilbur and tommy are MUCH closer than sweeney and anthony, they're besties instead of like. awkward mentor and semi-student), and wilbur plans to go back to his old home to see what remains while tommy goes to do some fucking thang idk. and wilbur ends up finding quackity, who has opened a burger shop, and tommy accidentally runs into schlatt, fundy, and tubbo and almost gets in a fist-fight with fundy. also in this au schlatt semi-raises fundy but is kind of a shit semi-dad and everyone around him is just miserable. ignoring like 90% of the johanna plot Except the simple fact that wilbur has a kid who was given to someone he fucking hates and now he wants to get him back.

tubbo is basically toby but if toby was schlatt's right-hand man instead of random fake italian guy. also wilbur's first kill is eret, who actually came to him trying to make amends/help, but wilbur thought was trying to out him to schlatt, so wilbur like. panic-murders eret. and has a bit of a freak out about it bc he's murdered someone before (his wife lul) but it haunts him and now this does too. but quackity's just like Bro. Free meat. This goes crazy. bc it's basically the same plot of like, meat prices are crazy, quackity can't afford it, and this is the perfect solution to his meat problem and wilbur's killed someone and has a body problem. also quackity used to be part of the manberg cabinet but when he finally broke things off with schlatt for being constantly disrespected both as a partner in politics and fiance, he was basically defamed and kicked to the curb and had everything taken from him so he had to figure shit out which is how he ended up in the position of burger shop owner in wilbur soot's old place.

also wilbur and quackity obvious tension but it's like that "im probably nonbinary but ive got a job so i don't really worry about that" but wilbur's like "im probably attracted to quackity but i've got a lot of people to murder to get my son back so i don't really worry about that" and quackity's malding about that a little bc he is definitely in love with wilbur but it's fine he gets one thing he wants and that's a functional fucking business, he can figure out the wilbur shit later when wilbur gets his stupid son back.

but yeah. wilbur murders eret, which starts a spiral spurred on by quackity being like "objectively you should keep killing people so i can run my business thanks man", and the rage he carries from his life being taken away for nothing, and the violence he has always carried since he murdered sally. idk if tommy's gonna know? i haven't thought about tommy enough in this au tbh and that's bc he is Completely different than anthony so i have to fucking think about it a lot. bc he's not going after fundy like anthony was johanna, he's trying to help fundy bc that's wilbur's son and wilbur's his best friend so he wants to help him save his fucking son. but fundy is also conflicted bc he genuinely cares about schlatt, as they've all genuinely cared about schlatt, and he's like a father to him.

also tubbo does NOT trust wilbur's ass. he's very fond of quackity, from memories of his childhood and quackity at schlatt's side, trying to protect tubbo, and the way quackity welcomes him with open arms when he gets the fuck out of there after tubbo hits his breaking point with schlatt, but tubbo thinks wilbur is kind of like the worst. bc he doesn't realize until it's too late that quackity is also kind of like the worst.

i haven't thought a lot about the middle, just bits and bobs, mostly the beginning and the end. i have the ending planned beat for beat pretty much.

the ending, basically, is that wilbur has tossed schlatt down the murder chute or what-fucking-ever, and quackity watches him die. he sort of just like stands there and watches schlatt choke on his own blood, not even trying to help or kill him faster, just watches it happen. as schlatt takes his last breath, wilbur storms down to the basement to make sure schlatt is dead. and he is! so wilbur's like this is my perfect victory, everything is fine now, except shit, tubbo knows about the murders bc frankly they are not very good at cleaning up their murders. this means they either need to kill tubbo or convince him to keep his mouth shut. they both know the second isn't really an option.

one of them vouches to keep tubbo alive despite this, probably quackity, and it sparks an argument that has quackity finally confess that he knows wilbur killed sally. wilbur is paranoid and angry and quackity is paranoid and angry and their argument devolves until they're trying to fucking kill each other. wilbur barely escapes the room with his life intact, though he doesn't manage to quite kill quackity.

he tries to find fundy and tommy, but they are both still trying to get to the shop after escaping the prison? or some shit again, not fully sure, their part of the story needs some fucking work, but wilbur is frustrated because he hoped to find them before tubbo did, lying and saying tubbo and quackity were killed by schlatt and wilbur killed schlatt in retaliation, and fleeing with both of them into the night. when he can't find them, wilbur decides he needs to go back after tubbo and goes through the side door of the house and back down the basement stairs.

while wilbur was looking for tommy and fundy, quackity had gathered himself back up from their fight and planned to go after wilbur and finish the fucking job, but he trips on schlatt's body and in a moment of just complete and utter anger and frustration and, unfortunately, love for both the dead man and the man who killed him, quackity grabs a bone or knife or something and cuts open schlatt's chest, pulls out his heart, and starts to eat it. as quackity eats schlatt's heart, tubbo comes up behind him and stabs him through his heart. he drops the knife and runs, finding tommy and fundy running up to the front door, looking for wilbur.

wilbur finds himself downstairs. he looks at the carnage, the oven still running, quackity and schlatt's dead bodies, meat and bones everywhere from he and quackity's work together. he wonders how the hell he's going to face fundy, face tommy, after everything he has done. he hsan't seen his son in 13 years, he hardly knows what fundy fucking looks like, he hardly remembers what sally looked like. it's all in a haze of blood, the awful life he made with quackity and tubbo overwriting it. he decides to kill himself and explodes the shop with the oven. somehow. i guess.

fundy, tommy, and tubbo get out alive, bc i always liked that johanna, anthony, and toby manage to get out it was very nice to me. tommy and fundy are heartbroken that wilbur died (still not sure how much they, specifically tommy, know about wilbur and quackity's business), and tubbo is admittedly very sad that he had to kill quackity, but he knows what they don't, that wilbur and quackity were dangerous men playing a dangerous game and bringing unsuspecting players into it, and he is the luckiest person in the fucking world to get out of their orbit alive. so he celebrates the fact that he won their game, and the three of them try to make a life. it is certainly happier than whatever they would have found in wilbur and quackity's.

also here is the only written (unedited) scene i have you can have it bc well i love to share thangs

Killing people outright is something Wilbur will admit he’s not fond of. He doesn’t like to watch the light leave peoples eyes. He doesn’t like his hand being the one to fell someone. He sits at the counter, staring at his hands. They were covered in blood just minutes ago. Before Quackity walked him over to the sink, talking in a low, steady voice about how it was understandable, it’s hardly as bad when it’s in self-defense, what was he supposed to do? Just let Eret tell Schlatt Wilbur’s back in town? Wilbur did the right thing. Whether that was Quackity’s voice or Wilbur’s own telling him, he still doesn’t know. But Quackity meets his eyes across the counter and does not look afraid, does not look worried. Just thoughtful. 

“So,” Quackity starts, tapping his fingers atop the counter. “What do we do with her?” 

“Take her somewhere far, far away,” Wilbur says, in a voice that sounds just as far. “Bury Eret where they’ll never find him.”

Quackity nods, looking somewhat disappointed. “Right. Right. I mean, burying Eret would make the most sense, right?” 

“Right,” Wilbur echoes, hardly listening. 

“But…” He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, all that separates them from Eret’s body. “Seems like a waste, right?” Wilbur is brought a little closer to Earth in his confusion.

“A waste?”

“Business has been bad,” Quackity continues, thoughtfully, conversationally, like this is all very normal and Wilbur isn’t still rubbing at his hands to get the blood off. “Debts we can’t pay off. What would it hurt, when he’s already dead?” Wilbur isn’t connecting whatever dots Quackity lays out. Eret is dead and the shop is doing poorly. The thoughts don’t intersect. “I mean, it’d be wrong just to dump them somewhere to rot, when there’s a use? When the price of meat raises every fucking week?” Rot. Meat. The connection is made. A little laugh tumbles out of Wilbur, amusement or shock he’s unsure, and Quackity smiles. “Plenty of meat, plenty of business.” It’s completely despicable. It turns Wilbur’s stomach inside out. It’s almost enough to make a Godless man pray for forgiveness… It’s absolutely fucking brilliant.