#if anyone uses this to justify erasure of nonbinary people or oppression

[nothorses]

#idk i have thoughts about the 'binar v. nonbinary' distinction. i think there is a reason#that trans people get degendered when they use binary pronouns#AND wrongly gendered when they use use gender neutral pronouns#for example

i'm intrigued by these thoughts would you like to share more about these thoughts

I think I'd boil it down to like... specifically the idea of "binary trans" people as a class.

I very firmly believe that the oppression of nonbinary people ("exorsexism") exists and is a real form of oppression, and I believe that experiences with it- and the ideological foundation it rests on- are unique and worth discussing. I think nonbinary people have unique experiences with oppression that are necessary to listen to and understand, and that it is to everyone's benefit to include in those perspectives in larger conversations around trans justice.

I specifically take issue with the idea that there is a group of people that can easily & universally be differentiated as "binary trans" in anything but how those people personally identify.

I think that, socio-politically speaking, the only people that are truly classed as "binary" are 100% gender-conforming dyadic cis people. When we're talking about transphobia as a concept, we're talking about a system of oppression meant to punish people who stray from the gender binary. Historically, anyone punished under this system was included under the "trans" umbrella: gender-non conforming cis people, drag kings and queens, nonbinary people, intersex people, you name it. We are all gender outlaws; we all exist outside traditional understandings of gender, and we are all punished for doing so.

Now, we can narrow the scope quite a bit; I do still have the ability to "pass" as my gender, which is not an option to a lot of nonbinary folks. I can get a gender marker that accurately reflects my gender, and I can go "stealth" in a way that doesn't cause me a lot of dysphoria. I absolutely acknowledge that there are experiences I do not have, and oppression I do not face, and I should take care to listen to the people who do face them.

The problem for me here is that like, none of those things are exclusively "binary trans" experiences either. Plenty of nonbinary people are not strictly outside of every binary gender, or outside of comfort with a binary gender presentation. Such is the enormous multitude of nonbinary identities, and the unknowable vastness of human experience.

The other, perhaps larger problem for me is that I also do not strictly have a "binary trans male" experience. I mean, least of all because I have still at this point spent more of my life identifying as nonbinary than I have as a trans man- but also because I'm still trans. In a lot of ways, I'm not actually viewed as "binary"; I am clock-able enough that I'm pretty regularly degendered by even incredibly well-intentioned cis people, for example. My grandma is confused about my gay relationship; she very much does not think it is gay or straight. Anyone who knows I'm a trans man does not think of me as a woman or a man; they think of me as something entirely outside of the binary, and they treat me accordingly.

To go back to the tag you're quoting: I think binary trans people using binary pronouns are degendered for the exact same reason that nonbinary using gender-neutral pronouns are misgendered. People don't want to recognize us as the genders we are. They don't want to validate an experience of gender that lies outside their tidy little gender binary.

Again: this doesn't mean that exorsexism isn't real, or even that "there is no such thing as a binary trans woman/man". That's not what I'm saying. I want to keep having discussions about the unique experiences nonbinary people have, and the unique ways in which transphobic society treats and targets them, and the unique oppression they suffer, and why, and how we can fight that.

I also don't think I'm the first person by far to point out that maybe the idea of The Binary Trans Experience should be problematized a little bit, and I think there's something to be said for the funky space that "binary trans people" occupy on the good-little-gender-conforming-cis-person to nonbinary continuum.

[wlwinry]

daily reminder:

-bisexuality is not a stepping stone to any other sexuality

-bi people are valid as they are. we do not have to justify shit to you

-bi people are, contrary to popular belief, capable of complex relationships with gender and sexuality

-bisexuality is not transphobic. to suggest otherwise is biphobic

- “bi means two” is biphobic. bisexuality absolutely includes nonbinary and gnc people and to suggest otherwise is biphobic

-bi people are not your fetish

-bi people are not gay lite or spicy straight, or 50% gay 50% straight. bisexuality is whole, nuanced, and is neither straight nor gay/lesbian. to suggest otherwise erases gay people, lesbians, and bi people

-calling confirmed or heavily implied bi characters gay or lesbian is bi erasure. if it’s not okay to call confirmed lesbian or gay characters bi, then it’s not okay to do the opposite. this double standard needs to end.

-bi people make up a large percentage of the lgbt+ community, but receive the least amount of support 

-being in a relationship with someone of a different gender does not make a bi person any less bi. to act like bi people are only valid when they date the same gender is biphobic. you cannot pick and choose when bi people matter to you

-you cannot dictate to bi people what bisexuality is and what bisexuality deserves to have. we are whole and human.

-bihet is a derogatory term that should not be used by anyone but bi people themselves.

-bi history is lgbt+ history

-we have always been here

-we will always be here

i know this won’t get reblogs or likes. i know it’s as invisible as my sexuality is. but if you read this and disagree with any of these points i suggest you unfollow. my reach may be small but i still dont want you around. and i hope to god you feel good about yourself for acting like we don’t exist.

but we do.

i do.

and i see you, rolling your eyes about the bi woman who thinks she’s oppressed. i see you, acting like we don’t matter just because we don’t matter to you. i see you.

and i want you gone.