#if dean read a gentle parenting guide he would scoff and roll his eyes and throw it across the room

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

[writings-of-hazel]

Forgotten Gospel (Sam Winchester x OC) Part One:

Summary:

When Diane was three her parents where murdered by a group of demons, John Winchester saved her life. Now an orphan Diane had no one to look after her, her relatives all mysteriously died as well. John was her surrogate father as was Bobby. She joined John and his two boys on their quest to find and kill what murdered their mother. Growing up Diane and Sam became lovers throughout their teen years, that was until Sam left for college.

Notes:~Hey so this is the LONGEST chapter I have ever written and I don't think every chapter is going to be as long as this one but I'll try. I'm also super out of practice and don't have time to edit so these might be messy but I still hope you enjoy. Leave a kudos or a comment if you like what I have so far and if you would like to see more!!

“Sam..” Diane muttered through trembling lips. The cold night air bit at her bare arms, causing goosebumps to run up her spine. The black impala was parked on the side of the road and everyone was outside, in a rather hasty dispute. A livid John Winchester stood behind Diane, his face red with anger and eyes wide and shaking. Beside him stood his eldest son, Dean, with an unreadable expression. The Winchester family was not well known for their mild temperament, and tonight was a prime example. This was the aftermath.

“Stanford..you’re going to Stanford?” Diane asked.

After a moment of complete and utter silence, Sam looked at her with a soft scowl, his face still red with sweat from the absolute shitshow that happened just before.

“Yes,” He finally spoke. His tone had changed, softened, and his eyes adverted away from her and onto the ground. “I start in two months.”

He raised his face and Diane caught his gaze. It was really happening. Diane thought. Sam was leaving them. She knew he was serious.

Her dark eyebrows began to furrow, and everything felt like it was in slow motion, or like she was moving through quicksand.

“What, so you’re just going to..you’re just-..you’re just going to leave like that?” She stuttered, shaking her head, choking back the lump in her throat. “What are we to you? What am I to you? This is your family Sammy, you can’t just-“

“I know!” He snapped, his eyebrows furrowing. He let out a small scoff, throwing his hands up in the air.

“You know I don’t want this Diane, this isn’t what I wanna be, I’m tired of being under his thumb. I’m tired of all the fighting and all the death and all the everything. I-..Diane I can’t live like this anymore and this is my ticket to get out.” His stiff body relaxed the slightest bit as he spoke, his hard, solemn eyes softening near the end.

It was Diane’s turn to be silent, the look on his face told her that he knew that she knew he was right.

The anger fueled behind her eyes flickered out, and her head slowly slumped down, looking at the mud on her shoes. She could no longer fight the hot tears burning behind her eyes, and slowly small streaks rolled down her face.

When she gathered the strength to look him in the eyes she was met with a sorrowful gaze. Sam’s face had contorted and his eyes where glossed over.

“I know, Sam,” all power left her voice, it was almost a whisper. “But look what- look who your leaving behind, your dad? Your brother? Me?” Her voice broke at the end, her hand rose and quickly swiped away the new coming tears.

“I’m sorry Diane.” Sam said with genuine tone. With a sigh, he took a few strides closer to her, till they where less than a foot apart.

Diane looked up along Sam’s giant frame, his gentle face towering above hers. He gave her a knowing look, the corner of his lip twitching the way it always did when he was nervous.

His large hand cupped the side of her trembling cheek, using the pad of his thumb to gingerly swipe away a few stray tears from her face.

Diane’s head was swimming in a whirlpool of thoughts, she wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to beg. Beg for all of this to go back the way it was a few hours later.

Things got quiet, only the purr of the impala from behind them.

Sam studied the features of her face and Diane could tell that he was thinking something through. His eyes averted away for just a moment, before flickering back to her with a hopeful vigor.

“Come with me,” He finally spoke, “We can go to California together, say goodbye to all this, all the pain, all the monsters, everything.” The corner of his lips pulled into a hopeful smile, his other hand cupping the back of her head. “We could be happy Diane, really, genuinely, happy. I know you want the same thing I do. Come with me”

Before Diane could answer, the engine of the impala roared to life.

“Dean get in the car- I’m done with this.” John muttered to his son, wrenching open the drivers side car door “Diane we’re leaving. Now.” He barked out. Diane broke her gaze from Sam’s and glanced behind her. John got into the driver seat and slammed the door with a thud.

When she turned back to Sam, his expression changed not only was there anger, but something akin to heart ache. Sam’s hands where now stuffed in his pockets and his body was rigid again, there wasn’t much time left before John was bound to take off.

“I’m going to California tonight-“ he sighed, giving a defeated shrug. “Are you coming with me or not?”

Diane knew she didn’t have much time to decide, but how could she possibly process any of this? It was paralyzing. Her eyes fell to the ground, wracking her cluttered brain for thoughts.

“Sam..” she sighed after what felt like forever. She took a step closer to Sam, wrapping her hands around his large forearm and looking him in the eye. “I can’t.” She croaked, tears welling in her dark eyes, and streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry Sam..I just..I can’t.”

Sam’s face fell the moment the words left her lips, his eyes falling to the ground. He sniffed back the tears threatening to escape, but it was in vain. A few wet streaks ran along his face.

When he lifted his face up to meet Diane’s, she felt as if her heart where about to shatter on spot.

The look of utter disappointment and heartbreak in his eyes was more painful than any bullet wound she had ever received.

“This is who I am, there’s no normal for me, not anymore.” Diane choked through her tears. There was a loud honk from the impala behind her, causing her to jump. Her signal to hurry up.

Sam looked over her features one last time, his face contorted with sadness.

“Then goodbye, Diane” he said with a hardened voice, reluctantly pulling himself away from her.

“Sam...don’t-“ The car honked again.

“Diane! Get in the car now, I’m not asking you again!” Johns voice howled out the window.

“I’m sorry Diane, I have to get out of here.” He said with an empty chuckle, taking step after step back, farther away from her. His eyes looked hollow, broken. Like an abused animal. He gave her one last look, before turning his back to her, continuing his stride.

“Sam.” She muttered, her voice broken. Sam didn’t turn around.

“Come on- he’s gone” said a gruff voice behind her, making her jump and turn around. She came face to face with Dean, hot tears running down her face. Immediately Dean wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his warm embrace.

Suddenly, she couldn’t hold it anymore. Wrenching sobs began to tear through her body, her face buried itself into his chest. Dean ran his fingers through the back of her hair, rubbing her back with his other hand.

“Hey it’s okay, c’mon, let’s get you in the car.” He cooed, collecting her form in his arms and guiding her to the backseat, he shrugged his thick leather jacket off of his shoulders and threw it around her. The aroma of whisky and tobacco filling her nostrils as she breathed it in. The moment her door shut John pulled out into the road, driving in the opposite direction of Sam.

All was dead quiet, and no one would dare speak a word. The radio was turned low and there was only the purr of the impala between the three.

Diane felt like she was in a state of shock, only half an hour ago Sam was in the car, sitting beside her. How could he do something like this? When she felt the tears brimming her eyes she shoved the thought out of her mind. She wasn’t going to cry, not right now, not in front of them.

Her eyes peaked over to the rear view mirror, she caught a glimpse of Deans face, not his usual stoic expression that he always pulls when things go to shit but the face he makes when he’s thinking something through. His face was hard and twisted, and his eyes wide as saucers. He wasn’t in much more shock and she was. His round, green eyes flickered up to the mirror catching her glance and holding it for a minute. Giving her a look she couldn’t quite read.

She tore away her eyes from his and looked out the window at the night sky.

Damnit Sam. She thought to herself, why did he have to do this shit. She shook her head with disbelief. The last images of his face racing through her head. The whole thing lasted less than ten minutes, but it had felt like hours.

When they finally arrived at the motel, John went livid, howling, punching and destroying everything he could get his eyes on. Dean ended up having to sleep on the bathroom floor. Diane got the couch.

But she was getting no sleep that night.

*three years and two months later*

The dark impala flew down the highway. Dean was behind the wheel, driving with one hand, a whole hot pocket in the other.

“Dean..I mean are you sure this is a good idea?” Diane asked with a raised eyebrow “I mean, last time I checked, Sam wanted nothing to do with this kind of business”

“Yeauuh..” Dean said with a mouth full of hot pocket, “but we need him more than ever right now, especially if we’re gonna find dad.”

Diane rolled her eyes gave him a quizzical look.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at her expression “What?” He asked, crumbs shooting out of his mouth.

“First of all you’re disgusting..” she began “and second of all, what makes you think Sam is going to help us out. He told us himself, he’s done.”

Dean’s face fell a moment and the car went quiet “Yeah, well, that was a long time ago, who knows what could happen.”

“I still don’t think he’s gonna join us.” Diane sighed.

“Well, if it’s concerning dad, I think he’ll come around quicker than you think.” Dean glanced over at her, her features where tight and stiff, her eyes gazing miles away. She picked at the side of her lip softly, shaking her leg with nervousness.

Dean sighed, he knew how hard this had been for Diane. Her and Sammy had been childhood lovebirds since kindergarten. Sam leaving was especially hard for her. Setting his beloved hot pocket on his lap, he pressed his warm hand against her leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze. When her eyes rose up to meet his, he gave her a quiet nod.

“It’s gonna be okay, trust me, I’m nervous too. Three and a half years have gone by and not so much as a call. But I got you, okay? You got me?” He spoke, giving her an encouraging glance.

“I got you Dean.” She muttered with a sigh, falling back into the leather interior.

“Put on some Zeppelin,” she mumbled after a minute or two of silence “I need Zeppelin.”

Dean belted out a laugh, a dumb grin growing on his face. “That’s my girl.” He chuckled reaching under his seat for his box of cassettes. He handed over the box to Diane. “Pick anyone you want- ooh- ahh shit! dammit!” Dean exclaimed, swerving on the road.

He swept up the hot pocket off of his leg, the hot filling had seeped out and onto his pant leg, burning the shit out of him.

“Idiot.” Diane muttered with a laugh.

“Jackass.” Dean threw back with a smile.

-

When they got to Stanford campus, it was quite the sight.

“Damn, so this is what the college life looks like.” Dean muttered into the cool night air, his hands resting on his hips.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Where is the dorm located?” Diane asked, pulling her jacket tighter around her. The large stone buildings towered over her like gothic cathedrals. Something felt, off.

“Yeah uhh, it’s right over here.” He mumbled and began walking. Diane followed behind him, her arms crossed over her chest.

“What if he’s different, Dean?” She asked, her heart beginning to race in her chest with every footstep.

“Of course he’s gonna be different, but Sammy is Sammy, he’s family.” Dean reassured her, but mostly reassuring himself.

When they met the steel doorway to the dorm Dean pulled out his lock picking tools and began to work. Diane glanced up at the window above them, Sam’s window. She wondered for a moment, how many times he had looked from out that window to watch the night sky like he always did. Did he even do that anymore? She didn’t know. She could feel him, his presence already, like a familiar vibration buzzing down her back. She was broken from her thought by the sound of the front door unlocking.

“I’m in, come on.” Dean whispered, stepping quietly into the dorm house. Silently the two crawled up the stairs, till they made it to the fourth floor.

“He is apartment 216.” Dean said in a gruff whisper.

She followed behind him quietly, down the long and narrow halls leading to his room.

“Bingo.” Dean sighed, finding the entrance. He picked the lock quick and quietly opened the door. Diane took a step in, but found her foot trapped at an angle, causing her to stumble into Deans back, kicking some shoes across the hall.

“Shh!” Dean hushed harshly, turning around to give her a look.

“Shut up just keep going.” She whispered back taking another step into the dorm.

Though all the lights where out and it was near pitch black, Diane could make out the general space of the dorm, it was more like an apartment than anything. It was a decent size with high ceilings. They made their way into the kitchen when a ruffling sound came from the other room, followed by silence. Dean held up his hand and froze, Diane paused behind him.

He could hear soft footsteps coming from outside the kitchen drawing nearer, and nearer.

Sam. She thought, that has to be Sam.

As if they had the same thought, when the footsteps reached the kitchen entrance Dean abruptly stepped out into view.

A large figure grabbed Dean by the back of his collar, yanking him back with great strength, Dean turned around pushing the tall figures hands away, Dean and the figure began to fight. Dean threw in a few blows, as did the figure. Dean eventually got the upper hand and managed to pin the man to the ground.

“Woah...easy there tiger.” He grunted, his hand still wrapped around his throat

“Dean?” That voice, the first time she’s heard that voice in years. Diane went rigid, her eyes as wide as saucers. “You scared the crap outta me!” He exclaimed angrily.

A smile was glued onto Deans face, “That’s just cause you’re outta practice.” He grunted with a laugh. Quickly Sam knocked Dean onto his back, pinning him down.

“Or not-“ Dean groaned, tapping out “Get off me.” He grunted.

Sam sprung off of him, lowering his hand and lifting Dean onto his feet. “What are you doing here Dean?” Sam asked with a confused look.

“Well I was here to grab a beer.” Dean said with a grin, swiping some dust off of Sam’s shoulder.

“No, why are you here?” Sam said in a more serious tone.

“Okay, we need to talk, just for a little bit-“ Dean was interrupted by the light switching on, catching their attention.

Diane’s fingers lingered in the light-switch. Her eyes immediately fell on Sam, he had changed a little from the last time she saw him so long ago. His hair was shorter, he was thinner. His face looked more adult than it did before.

Sam’s gaze locked with hers, he examined the features of her face slowly, taking in the view of her. His eyes went wide, he blinked hard a few times and rubbed his eyes.

“Diana?” He utttered, his eyes not moving from hers. His chest heaved a few times as he tried to collect himself. Hearing his voice was the sweetest and most bitter thing she had experienced. Her eyes took in his form in its entirety, soaking in the image of the long lost Sam.

“Hey.” She replied softly, crossing her arms over her chest, hugging her torso. He didn’t take a step forward and neither did she.

“Hey.” He replied slowly, his mouth slightly open.

Diane felt the heat on her neck like hell fire, she was sure her face was red beyond recognition. But judging by Sam’s expression, she wasn’t alone.

Sam looked for a minute between her and Dean, at loss for words.

“Sam?” Said a new voice from behind her.

Diane swung her head around, her hand behind her jacket, clutching the handle of her pistol. She was met with a woman’s face, she was wearing nothing but a shirt and some underwear, but she was beautiful no doubt. Her skin looked soft and clean, untamed curls framing her face. The woman gave her a concerned look, cocking one eyebrow, before glancing over to the other Winchester brother.

“Sam, who are these people?” She asked, looking between the two strangers.

“Jess,” Sam spoke, giving her a half genuine crooked smile. Jess began to walk towards him, Diane moved out of the way. Jess, that was her name. She watched as Jess, with the grace of an angel, glided over to Sam, tucking herself under his large arm.

Jesus fucking Christ, way to stab someone in the heart and twist the blade.

Diane’s gaze immediately diverted from the two. Sam had found someone new, she guessed he meant it when he said he wanted a new life. That didn’t stop the sharp sting radiating through her body. She walked across the kitchen towards the older Winchester, keeping her eyes on the walls.

Sam noticed this, and felt a small pang himself. He knew what her hurt looked like, and he saw it all over her face, despite how hard she was trying to conceal it.

“Dean, Diane, this is my girlfriend Jessica. Jess, this is Dean, and this is Diane. We used to work together.” Sam said, gesturing to the two.

“You’re brother Dean?” Jess asked, pointing to the Winchester brother.

Sam nodded.

Diane clenched her jaw, she was right, this was a terrible idea.

“Wow-“ Dean said with a smirk, taking a step towards her, Diane rolled her eyes, knowing exactly where this was going.

“I love the smurfs” he said with a shit eating grin, pointing to her cleavage “and i just gotta say, wow, you are so outta my brothers league

“Just- let me put something on.” Jess replied uncomfortably.

“Nahh nah, wouldn’t dream of it-OW” Dean was cut off by a sharp smack to the back of the head by Diana. Dean swung his head to her, giving her the meanest glare.

Diane rolled her eyes, looking back at Jess, and then to Sam, who had his gaze glued on her. “Sorry about him- he thinks more with his dick than with his brain.” Diane chuckled, holding out a hand to her.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Jess’s lips as she shook it.

“Oh I can guess.” she chuckled.

Dean, who was now beyond pissed off was no longer in a playful mood. “Well Diane and I have some family business to discuss with your boyfriend but uhh I’ll see ya later.” He said with a wink, shoving his elbow into Diana’s side.

“Ow-fuck you.” She whispered to Dean harshly, rubbing her side. Dean flashed her a wicked grin, saying that they where even. Jess stood there quietly, glancing over to Sam.

Real smooth Dean. Diane thought.

Diane felt it again, like a stabbing pain. The way he looked at her was something she hadn’t seen in years. There was an awkward silence that followed, eventually Sam spoke up.

“No-“ he said giving Dean the bitchiest face he could muster. “Whatever you can say in front of me, you can say in front of her.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

Dean shot a glance at Diane, and then at Sam.

“Dad’s on a hunting trip.” Dean said with a cryptic glace.

“Yeah,” Sam replied with a shrug, “He goes on a lot of hunting trips. I’m sure he’s fine”

The smile on Deans face fell and his expression grew serious.

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

With that Sam’s whole demeanor changed.

“Jess, will you excuse us?” Sam said, his body stiffening.

-

“Dean you can’t just barge in in the middle of the night and expect me to just pack up and go with you” Sam retorted as the three hunters quickly shuffled down the staircase.

“You’re not listening Sammy, Dad’s missing.” Dean replied carelessly, glancing behind him. Diana made it down the stairs first and stood at the door, her arms crossed over her chest.

“You remember that werewolf in Dayton? The Mississippi devil gates, Dad was gone for weeks. He’s always missing and he’s always fine.” Sam paused at the end of the stairs.

Diane rolled her eyes, “Yeah but never like this, not without some kind of...something, anything.” she tagged in, taking a step towards the two.

Sam gave her a look and puffed his chest.

“Diana’s right, something’s not right and I don’t like that, So are you in or not?” Dean asked impatiently Diana fought back the small smile from reaching her lips.

Sam paused a minute, his lips pursed tightly, “I’m not.” he replied.

A smug smile spread over Diane’s face, her eyes meeting the older Winchester’s “What did I say Dean?” Diane jabbed, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Don’t.” Dean warned, giving her a stern look.

Sam ground his teeth behind his lips, shaking his head. “I said I was done with hunting Dean, I started a new life to get away from that.”

“Oh come on, it wasn’t easy but it wasn’t that bad.” Dean retorted, adjusting the duffle on his back.

“Dean when I told dad I was afraid of the dark he gave me a .45” Sam said with a look of bewilderment

“What else was he supposed to do?” Dean replied, obviously not getting his point.

“I was nine years old, Dean. He’s supposed to say “Don’t be afraid of the dark.” Sam scoffed, crossing his arms.

“Don’t be afraid if the dark? Of course you should be afraid of the dark you know what’s out there.” Dean cautioned with wide eyes.

“You boys are wasting time.“ Diane finally huffed. One thing she had not missed was the arguing, “You guys still argue like a married couple it makes me wanna vomit let’s gooo.” She stammered as she sprung through the metal door, letting it slam behind her. She began to walk across the building towards the black impala, the boys following behind her.

“You think mom would of wanted this for us,” Sam began.

Oh no.

“You think she would of wanted the weapon training, making silver bullets?”

Shut up.

“Dad put a gun in my hands the moment I was able to carry one”

Shut the fuck up Sam.

“Man, Dean, we where raised like warriors “

“So?” Dean replied, not looking behind him. “What? You’re just gonna live some normal, apple pie, white picket fence life?” When he finally reached the car, Dean turned to face his brother.

“No, not normal.” Sam paused, looking at Diane again, “Safe.”

That word hit Diane, ‘Safe’. In a way, she understood what he meant, that’s why he left in the first place.

“That’s why you left in the first place?” Dean said her thought out loud.

Sam’s eyes flickered to the floor and then up to Dean “Dad was the one who said if I left I should stay gone..So I did.”

Dean let out a haste sigh, putting his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “Listen, Dad’s in trouble and he needs help, he’s not dead I can feel it .” He spoke through clenched teeth, determination in his voice. Sam went silent for a bit, his mind in deep thought.

When there was no response Dean continued “Listen it’s just Diane and I out here, and we can’t do this by ourselves.”

“and we don’t want to, Sam.” Diane added, leaning against the impala.

Sam’s expression softened a bit, the furrows in his brows unraveling. Diane gave Sam a hopeful look, and Sam let out a huff.

“What was Dad hunting?” He finally relented, his shoulder shrugging in defeat.

Diane gave Sam a small smile, tossing Dean the keys “Good question, we don’t know.” She replied.

Dean went to the trunk and popped it open, revealing a collection of guns, knives and other kinds of tools.

“What do you mean?” Sam inquired, eyebrow raised.

“Well Diane and I where out in out on a gig in Milwaukee, there was a cannibal den. Phew they where some nasty sons of bitches” He sighed, shuffling through the trunk with loud clanks and clicks.

“Wait wait,” Sam began, a look of disbelief flickering across his face “Dad let you two go on a hunt alone?”

Diane furrowed her eyebrows the same time Dean did, taking the same offense.

“Im twenty six dude,” he retorted

“You’ve been gone for a long time Sam. Things are different.” Diane sighed. Sam gave her another long look.

“Bingo found it, down in Iowa was where I last heard from him, and look at this.” Dean swiftly interrupted the silence, pulling out a tape recorder.

“Let’s give it a listen.” Sam murmured, leaning down to heard the recording on the tape. Dean pressed play and static began to echo in the air. Diane furrowed her eyebrows, straining her ears to listen, the boys large frames easily nudged her behind them.

“I can never go home “ Rang clear as day from the static in the recorder.

“I can never go home?” Sam repeated, determination crossing his eyes.

“We gotta check it out Sam.” Diane spoke up, pushing Dean out of her way, which earned her a sharp elbow in the arm.

Sam put his hands on his hips, looking at the ground. He had his thinking face on. “Okay,” he began, letting out another sigh, “I’ll go.. But I gotta be back by this Monday.”

“Why?” Dean inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I got an interview.” Sam said through pursed lips.

“A job interview? Skip it.” Dean said casually.

Sam sighed and shook his head. “It’s a interview for a law firm, it’s basically my whole career on a plate Dean-“

“Yeah, yeah. Okay whatever we’ll get you home by Monday.” Dean shrugged, but his face looked annoyed.

Sam gave his brother a look.“I’m gonna go upstairs and pack.” After giving each of them a glance he lazily turned around and carried his large frame back towards his dorm.

-

Dean was downstairs making calls and setting up and Diane, bored, made her way back up the stairs towards Sam’s dorm. She gently rapped her knuckles against the door and waited.

The door opened to Jess’s face.

“Oh, hey.” She said with a smile. Despite the small stabs of pain her face left in her chest Diane couldn’t help but smile. Jess seemed nice, she seemed sweet. She imagined her long fingers diving into Sam’s chocolate hair, her round lips feeling his soft and tender kiss, all the late night love confessions they had shared together.

“Hello?” Jess asked again, cocking one eyebrow.

“Oh. Sorry, I’m running on no sleep.” Diane replied, ripped from her self wallowing thoughts.

“Well, come in” Jess sighed pleasantly “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks Jessica.” Diane replied, stepping inside.

“Please, call me Jess. Here I’ll pour you some coffee before I head to class” She chuckled leading Diane to the kitchen.

The two sat in silence for a minute, Diane mindlessly gazing into the dark liquid in her mug.

“Sam won’t tell me where he’s going,” Jess finally said, glancing over to Diane, “You two know each other.”

Diane took a small swing of her coffee, enjoying the familiar bitter taste. “Yeah, Winchester boys are like that..they never really let you know what’s going on. I think it’s a self righteous think they got, or idiocy, a bit of both." She paused for a minute "Oh Sam and I, yeah, we..we grew up together.” Diane stumbled, taking another sip from her mug.

Jess nodded quietly, taking a drink from her coffee. her eyes glanced up at the clock. “Shit I gotta go to class,” she sighed, setting down the cup “Sam?” she asked down the hall , walking towards the room. Diane could hear him murmur a reply. After a while she heard the front door open and shut.

Her demeanor fell immediately. Her eyes lowering to her scarred hands, the hands of a hunter. Taking another last sip she poured the rest down the drain and set the cup down, and made her way to where she heard Sam’s voice.

Diane made her way across the dorm to the doorway of Sam and Jessica’s room. She stopped at the entrance, her eyes locking on Sam’s form in front of her.

Sam was bent over, his cocoa dark locks hanging in front of his face while shuffling clothes into his duffle bag. A tender feeling arose from her stomach, tugging at the corners of her lips. Raising her hand she gently rapped her knuckles against the doorway.

Sam’s head shot in her direction, his rounded hazel eyes catching her dark brown orbs, recognition turned on his face and his mouth curved into a small smile.

“Hey Diane,” he greeted, standing straight, his fingers slowly fumbling around with the shirt in his hands.

“Hey,” Diane replied stepping into the room and leaning against the dresser, crossing her arms over her chest “How ya doin’?” She asked.

The muscle in Sam’s jaw twitched slightly, his eyes flickering down to the duffle bag and then back to her. “Honestly,” he huffed, shaking his head, raking his long fingers through his hair “Not good.”

Diana let out a sigh, her eyes flickering to the ground “I know, Sam,” She pushed herself off the dresser and Sam’s eyes followed her as she stepped to the edge of the bed. Diane took a deep breath.

“I know you never wanted any of this Sam, the guns, the ghosts, the monsters” she muttered “That’s why you ran away right?” Her tone was softly spoken, though her heart was racing against her chest. Memories washed over her brain like tidal waves, the last image of his face years before, watching his back as he left.

Sam read her somber expression, his face softened in sympathy.

“Diane, about...about last time, I-“ Sam began to say.

“Don’t Sam,” Diane cut in, shaking her head, her eyes met his and she felt like melting, she saw the guilt and it made her stomach churn. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath “I understand, and..” She paused, her tongue catching in her mouth.

Sam waited, curiosity flickering across his features.

Diane read his expression to go on, sucking in a deep breath through her lips she sighed out “And I’m proud of you Sam..really I am.” The words hurt as they left Diana’s mouth, but they still rung true. “This is what you’ve always wanted, something safe, and you deserve it Sam.”

The corners of Sam’s lips pulled into a gentle smile, though his sorrowful eyes remained the same. “Thank you,” Sam murmured, his eyebrows furrowing “So do you.”

Diane shook her head, her eyes flickering to the wall beside her “Yeah, well, I made that choice.” The muscles in her jaw clenched.

Sam sighed, turning his back to her and continued packing his duffle bag “You know I’m not back, right?” He finally said after a moment of silence, pausing his movements “I’m just gonna help find dad and then I’m out, for good this time.”

Diane held back the scoff in her throat, “I know that Sam, I’m not quite sure Dean knows that, but I do.”

Sam nodded slowly, turning his face to her.

“But you don’t have to be gone Sam.” Diane finally added, “Dean misses you, I miss you and John misses you-“

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Sam cut in, his voice hard.

Diane sighed, placing her hands on her hips “Okay, whatever you say. I’ll be in the car.” She stepped away from the bed and towards the door, mentally defeated and exhausted. She stopped a minute and turned around, a solemn smile on her face. “Jess is a good girl Sam.” She uttered and Sam turned to face her. Diane looked deep into those hazel eyes she had both missed and loved, tears threatening to well in her eyes. “I’m happy she makes you happy.”

Sam’s eyes watered over through no tears where spilled, his lips curved into a pursed smile.

Diane returned the smile and turned her back to him.

When she finally made it back to the impala, Dean was sitting on the hood, beer in his hand. His bright green eyes flickered towards Diane and he gave her a toothy grin.

“How was the talk?” Dean asked.

“It was a talk.” Diane muttered in a defeated tone, walking across the impala and in front of Dean.

“Did you tell him?” Dean inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Diane sighed, “Not yet. We need his help.”

Dean rolled his eyes “I get it,” he pushed himself off the hood and took a step towards Diane, reaching his arm out. His hand caught her arm and gently pulled her towards him. Diane wrapped her arms around Dean’s torso, burying her face in his chest. His body was warm, smelling of whisky and peppermint, she inhaled the comforting aroma. Taking a deep breath Diane craned her neck back to look into Dean’s soulful eyes. Dean smiled, leaning his head down and softly connecting his lips with hers. Diane smiled softly against his lips, running her hands up his chest to grab his face. After a moment the two pulled apart.

“You shouldn’t feel bad Diane, I mean, Sammy moved on..why shouldn’t you?” Dean sighed, “We’ve been on for months now, you shouldn’t feel ashamed”

“Feel ashamed that I’m seeing my ex-boyfriends brother? Nah, I do feel like a sloppy second though.” Diane chuckled, leaning against the car.

Dean chuckled, leaning next to her and sliding an arm across her shoulders. “You’re far from being a sloppy second, I can tell you that right now.” Dean said with a genuine smile, pressing a chaste kiss against her lips.

Sam stepped away from the window, closing the curtain. His heart felt like an anvil in his chest, crushing him towards the ground. He wanted to be mad, to be furious, but where could he stand to feel so. He had someone of his own now too, he was the one who left. He couldn’t blame her or his brother for any of that. His face turned brooding and pensive as he turned to the duffle bag. He could just say no, turn back, tell them to leave him back to the life he had built.

That wouldn’t be right either. Sighing Sam swung the duffle bag onto his shoulder and made his way to the impala.

There was work to be done.

-

The ride through the night was quiet, Diane slept across the back seats, using one of Dean’s flannels as a makeshift pillow. In the morning she awoke to a loud tapping on the window.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty” Dean’s voice rang from outside. Diane opened her eyes with a tired grunt, looking out the bright window to the older Winchester.

“Fuck you, good morning.” Diane muttered sleepily as she popped open the door.

“Good morning to you too, grumpy,” Dean said with mock hurt, he leaned in to connect his lips to hers but was stopped by her hand. Glancing over to Sam who was pretending not to listen, shuffling through a box of old cassette tapes.

“Oh..yeah.” Dean muttered, annoyance flickering in his eyes. He set down a chocolate bar and some beef jerky in her lap “Breakfast.” He sighed. Diane gave him an apologetic look and Dean nodded, heaving a sigh.

“Dean what the heck is all this?” Sam interrupted looking through their box of fake badges and ID’s, along with several fake credit cards. “You and Dad still running those credit card scams?”

“You bet your ass we are.” Diane groaned, sitting up and ripping open the wrapping to her ‘breakfast’

(Stay tuned for part two)