#if i hadn't been such a coward who was unable to get through writing it i would have given you the billy-as-ianthe brain surgery scene

[crepuscularqueens]

whadduppp!!!! would you mind terribly if i asked for four wips as well?? i HAVE TO ask about 'the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again' & '(how to acheive immortality (the terrible price))' !!!! and, god.. they're all soo.. your title game is sicko mode... 'when i walk into a room i do not light it up' & 'untitled bb au', too?

omg heyyy!!! i absolutely do not mind at all hehe thank you so much (and thank you SO much for the tag, these are always so fun :))

the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again was actually the second in a series neither of which have seen the light of day, but the premise of the first part is the usual post tws stuff. steve and sam are looking for bucky, natasha is also helping a lot of the time bc she's integral to the dynamic. they find bucky, bring him to a safe house, try to figure out what his whole deal is at the moment. this one starts out right before they leave for the safe house, and once they get there the four of them learn in their own ways what it is they need to be a person again, and the answer to that is CLEARLY have a shrek marathon.

Natasha got up and went to a closet, which upon opening revealed a shelf full of tapes. “Any thoughts or is it dealer’s choice?” she asked. “I don’t feel like thinking,” Sam answered. Steve shrugged as she looked at him, “No preference.” “Okay,” Nat yanked a tape out and held it aloft, “Then you can’t complain.” The cover had four characters sitting in front of a giant green ‘S’. Steve really couldn’t complain because he had no idea what it was. Sam could, though.

“Ugh,” he groaned, wrinkling his nose in mock-disgust, “Shrek? Yeah, this is definitely why you weren’t invited to sleepovers.” “Correct,” she said, clearly trying to keep her laughter at bay as she slid the tape into the machine to start the movie, “That is literally the only reason.”

&

"Well I'm not mad at that view," she said appreciatively. "Shit," Sam repeated, angling the phone away from Bucky as he stood, who was laughing and doing absolutely nothing to cover himself, "Video call, Romanoff?" "I have no regrets," she replied warmly, "Hey, Rogers, you owe me twenty dollars." "Jesus, really?" they heard Steve's muffled voice call as Sam sat back on the bed next to Bucky, who pulled a rumpled sheet over their laps to give a modicum of decency as he finally propped himself up into a seated position.

lol and also lmao this part of the series was 36k and i just. abandoned it. maybe someday i will fix it

harrow the ninth/treasure island (how to acheive immortality (the terrible price)) is actually the full title of it SO lol. this one is evil and it actively eats my brain every time i open the document. but i love it.

Silver (Harrow) removes Flint (Gideon) from his memory, awakens to find Max at his bedside, expression unreadable (disappointed? Annoyed? Smug?)

Billy (Ianthe) is soon to find him (either at the tavern already or arrives soon after. Maybe he was the one to suggest this step) wants to find the cache. Silver does not want to but after Billy takes off with the clear intent to go through with his plan (obviously not remembering their falling out because he does not remember Flint. In not remembering Flint, he also does not remember large portions of his relationship with Madi. Madi has long since parted ways with Silver, unable to stomach the lies that have festered their relationship)

Silver remembers Vane (Ortus) as the captain who he started the revolution, Charles’ death acting as what killed it in its cradle

Miranda’s (Abigail) “ghost” coming to Silver in his remembrance of the Black Sails timeline, constantly questioning the way he tells things, challenging him without explicitly stating it

In this version of events, Gates and Miranda are allowed to grow close and confer with one another, consulting on the progress of things

it's a very loose adaptation of htn, so it's more of a springboard then a real au

“How could I?” asked Billy, sour note infecting his voice, “You taught me that lesson quite thoroughly. But I want you to remember who it was that created you, Long John, who it was that made your shadow one to be so feared. I want you to remember how quickly it really is that a man can gain and lose favor, especially when there’s money involved.” “And yet, that never seemed to apply to me, did it?” you hissed, “No, Billy. I have never lost their favor before and you are not nearly as clever as you seem to think to frighten me into believing that I am close to it now. I don’t intend to be so stupid as to think myself teetering on that edge at the current moment.” Billy laughed wryly, gripping your shoulder in one hand and looking down into your eyes, expression unnervingly even, “God, this whole ordeal has made you mad, hasn’t it? I know what it is you’ve lost, Silver, I know what it is you removed from yourself to ease the pain. I know how to bring it back. Ask me to and we can be done with this whole ridiculous mess. You did what you needed to do, you never needed to feel guilty for it. “Besides, what man in our line of work doesn’t have a few bodies he’s buried? How is he any different from the rest?” “Fuck you, Billy,” you said, voice full of heat and venom as you jerked out of his grip, “I will not hear this again. I do not want what you’re offering.”

when i walk into a room i do not light it up is a magicians penntin fic because i am a clown and i'll never be over them. sorry. my usual disclaimer of don't watch the magicians it sucks. anyway this is an attempt to hook up at a party that goes TERRIBLY wrong at first but works out for them in the end

Without being completely conscious of the movement, his hand came up for a third time to rake nervously through his hair, never making it before Penny's hand closed around his wrist. His grip was solid and warm, but not too tight, like he was giving Q every opportunity to break away if he wanted to. All the sudden, the guy was in Quentin's space, apparently very interested in the hand he now had a hold of.  "I'd accuse you of trying to claw your hair out of your scalp, but I think you bite your nails too short for that." Quentin's thoughts dissolved with a bit of a fizzle, or something like TV snow, or radio static, or pop rocks. One of those for sure. He only seemed capable of stammering incomprehensibly. “I can practically hear the little gears in your head shifting into a dangerous speed,” Penny remarked with a smirk, “Jesus, Coldwater, you have no chill.” Penny’s other hand came up to gently caress the side of Quentin’s face, leaning in until they were only a hair’s breadth apart. Quentin’s brain finally caught up with what was happening and he jerked away suddenly, snapping his head back so quickly he cracked it against the sharp corner of the cabinet in a moment of confused panic. “Shit,” Penny hissed, stepping back but still half reaching out towards Quentin, "Shit, I’m sorry, I didn't read that right, are you okay?"

untitled bb au is a modern day ofmd blackbonnet fic hehehe. i never fleshed it out enough in writing, but i think the premise was stede and ed broke up and stede was being WEIRD about it (and they'd eventually get back together once stede calmed down lmfao).

"Jim said you're being weird," a familiar voice said from behind him. Stede looked over his shoulder to see Oluwande behind the bar, giving him A Look. Stede didn't want to know what exactly the meaning of it was, but it was certainly meant to convey something. "I haven't seen Jim in ages," Stede tried for plausible deniability while not quite lying. It was true, it had to have been a couple of months since he had seen Jim. "Yeah, I know. Kinda makes it weirder that you call up their work every week on the busiest night then hang up before they can help you." Right, of course Olu would know, being that Jim was his partner and they were probably getting sick of all this. Stede felt his cheeks heat up a little, but stubbornly kept up his pretense. "Could be another man who sounds like me?" "You're aware that this is the twenty first century and pretty much everywhere's got caller ID, right?" Olu almost looked torn between amused and unimpressed now, "Maybe it could be someone that sounds just like you, but unlikely his name is also Stede Bonnet. Not a common one, mate."

[tonguetiedraven]

Okay so- I have a funny little headcanon that I havent seen anyone write about yet. Rin can handle spicy food a lot better than Ryuuji, now, Ryuuji does like spicy food, but he has a limit. So if Rin is ever pissed at Ryuuji and feels like being petty bc he's upset with Ryuuji about something, he'll make something overly spicy to get back at him.

Another double prompt fill, lol. Thanks to @marble-wolf for helping me with this one.

-- -- -- -- --

Ryuuji sent a text that he was going to miss lunch, and he felt bad that he had to opt for that over a phone call, but trying to talk on the phone around Lewin was a bit of a death wish. At the very least it was an embarrassment wish. Lewin would rattle off whatever crossed his mind and Ryuuji had only been dating Rin for a little bit and was not ready for that wild card in their relationship. They had enough wildcards just being them. 

A few hours later and he was still following Lewin through a swamp, and he had to send another text to Rin that he was going to miss their dinner date as well. That was a special kind of torture, because Rin had mentioned curry and Ryuuji was going to end up eating rations. Entirely unfair. (And he was missing time with Rin.) 

He’d be back for tomorrow’s lunch, hopefully, but in the mean time, he was frowning at the lack of returning texts.

That didn’t bode well.

Rin was fuming. This shit was happening far too often because Lewin couldn't do anything without having his hand held by Ryuuji. 

Ryuuji, who was Rin's new boyfriend, was unable to tell Lewin no and was missing too many dates. Strapped down by Lewin's command. And Rin understood why but it didn't make it any easier. He felt like Ryuuji should put a bit more effort into making time for Rin. (Instead of trotting after Lewin and trying to keep him clean.) 

Ryuuji hadn't even called. No, it had been texts. 

Rin crossed his arms over the pot of curry, mentally grumbling and considered what he wanted to do. Something that he could do to get back at both Ryuuji and Lewin. 

Kuro chirped and peeked in the pot, "what's wrong, Rin? Is it too spicy?" 

"Spicy? No. Ryuuji isn't coming."  Rin said with a frown. 

"Oh. I'm sorry." Kuro sighed. "We can eat together!" 

Rin smiled and nodded. "Sure, Kuro." 

And it was only as he set aside portions for himself and Kuro and the cat sidhe Doves into the meal with a happy purr that the thought occurred to him. 

Spicy.  

— — — — —

Ryuuji was not particularly astute at picking up subtleties of his friends’ moods. It had cost him multiple times, and had tried to get better at it, but he doubted he would ever reach Konekomaru’s level of observation.

Even with that lack of natural ability, Ryuuji couldn’t miss the mildly frigid air as Rin served up lunch. It looked like a yakisoba bun (which was Ryuuji’s favorite lunch) but Rin just dropped the wrapped lunch in front of him and sat down in a noisy way that seemed to radiate I am not happy even to Ryuuji’s mildly deaf ears.

“Thank you?” He said, not entirely sure why he’d made it a question as he pulled the meal a bit closer and opened it up. His nose tingled a little as he breathed in the warm scent, and that was a bit strange. Had Rin used a new sauce?

Rin's tail flicked and he nodded in response. He did slide a bottle of green tea closer to Ryuuji because he wasn't a total asshole before crossing his arms back and staring at Ryuuji.  

Ryuuji stared back for a moment. Rin wouldn’t poison him. He took too much pride in his cooking for that. Still, Ryuuji mildly felt like he shouldn’t eat, or possibly drink, any of this. Something was up. 

However, he wasn’t a coward and he was always a bit more daring than was probably good for him, and he trusted Rin wouldn’t actively try to really hurt him, so he picked the bun up and took a bite, and confirmed that, yep, Rin had done something.

It was quite easily the hottest thing Ryuuji had ever tried to eat. (He avoided overly spicy foods for a lot of reasons.) The spice immediately cut through absolutely everything else and there was no real way to tell what the flavor was outside of the immediate and overwhelming ow of the rest of the sandwich. 

He coughed a little because he couldn’t help it, and almost dropped the sandwich with the force of it. He avoided the green tea he’d been given and opted for his own water as well, not trusting that Rin hadn’t done something to that as well. 

Then, with a glare at his boyfriend, he took another bite. (And he was going to regret the hell out of that, he just knew it. Indigestion aside, he was playing with fire.)

Rin's tail flicked and he battled back any guilt he might feel with his own narrowed eyes. He tugged out his own yakisoba and ate it without a flinch, enjoying the heat of it and hoping Lewin had taken a bite out of his own.  

Ryuuji, still ignoring the green tea, finished the sandwich as quickly as he could and pushed the container away, sweating a bit and marveling at just how numb his mouth felt. His eyes were watering and his nose was running, and whatever he’d done had clearly really pissed Rin off. 

(He should not have eaten that. It was stupid, but damn it, he wasn’t going to be beaten by something like that.)

“Alright,” he said, and damn it, even his voice was a bit rough, “what the hell is wrong?”

Rin sat up stiffly, huffing. "Why you gotta ask?"  

“‘Cause you just tried to kill me?” And probably would. Ryuuji needed to go find something to counteract that spice. Something told him a spinach salad wasn’t quite going to cut it with that. “What happened?” 

Rin rolled his eyes. "I wasn't trying to kill ya. I'm just… I've finally got your attention!" 

Rin nudged at the tea. "Look, it's still sealed up." 

"First, you need to tell Light to fuck off occasion because you have plans. Second! Don't text me. And don't let Light drag you into stuff. I am tired of getting stood up for a man that can't wash his own socks. And you don't seem to care." Rin was pouting and glaring but he couldn't help it with the hurt.  

Ryuuji ditched the non helpful water and went for the pocky he’d brought to share with Rin, pulling out a few sticks and sucking on the sweet matcha while he gave Rin an unimpressed look. It did almost nothing to soothe the burn. So much for sugar being a cure. 

“I text ya,” he said around the pocky, “because Lightning will shout random shit if I call.” He could feel his cheeks going a bit red (though it probably wasn’t visible past the heat flush.) “I don’t…” It was embarrassing. Lightning had even made kissing noises and moaned when Ryuuji was going to call Rin. He was not dealing with that. 

Huffing out a breath, he gave his boyfriend a long look, taking in the sad eyes and the slumped posture despite the defiantly crossed arms. He’d hurt him. Enough for Rin to try and get back. (Nirvana, please just let it have been a shitty meal. He should not have eaten that. Why had he done that? There was no way he got out of that scott free. At the very least he’d fucked up his singing voice for Aria class with all the extra snot. At the worst…

He didn’t want to deal with the migraine that was guaranteed to bring.)

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I care, honest. I’ll figure out a way to get some space from him if it happens so I can call ya. And…” Ugh. He really did tend to push everything but school to the side for Lewin.

“I’ll work on it,” he promised.

Rin's pout relaxed a little, though he still felt betrayed and like Lewin was always going to be top priority. 

"Okay. Just… try?" Rin asked. That was all he really needed.  

Ryuuji pushed the strawberry pocky towards Rin. “I’ll try.” 

“Hey!” An exuberant voice called and Ryuuji’s head gave a low throb of annoyance that had him closing his eyes and murmuring a prayer that was almost guaranteed to not push away the migraine he’d more or less signed himself up for. 

(He should have had a talk about that with Rin. He should have told his cook boyfriend what foods could make things worse. He was an idiot.) 

“Lightning?” He growled, not bothering to open his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose and Lewin bounded up to their table. 

“Okumura! That was delicious! It’s so hard to find really spicy things here! You got anymore? I’d pay for that!”

Rin blinked in astonishment and leaned away from the man as Lewin leaned way too close and beamed at him like an excited shaggy dog. 

"Huh? What? Seriously?”  Rin squeaked, his tail moving to hide and his hand holding his sword to keep it out of grabby hands. 

"You liked that?" Rin gasped, lifting up what was left of his own sandwich.  

“I love spicy food!” Lewin gushed, pulling out a chair and sitting down like he’d been invited over. “I didn’t know you could get that kinda spicy yakisoba bun. I don’t usually get the spicy stuff ‘cause Ryuuji can’t have it with the migraines and he’s the one that likes yakisoba buns, but I’d eat all of those ya got!”

Ryuuji dropped his hand and shot Lewin the most unbelieving of stares. Why was he even here? (And he was staring like he was going to steal what was left of Rin’s sandwich.)

Rin's eyes went wide and horrified and what he had managed to eat felt too heavy and his stomach was twisting as the guilt shot through him. 

"Migraines! This— I— Ryuuji!" Rin cried out and he shoved the rest of his sandwich at Lewin. 

"Take that and go away."  

Lewin accepted the sandwich with a frown while Ryuuji covered his face with his hand again and sighed. That was going to bite him in the ass. He should have ditched this lunch and gone to yesterday’s. 

“Uh,” Lewin began, “what—”

“Just go,” Ryuuji sighed. “Please,” he added after a moment. He didn’t bother to look to see if his master did and simply picked up another piece of matcha pocky to suck on and hope it made him capable of feeling his mouth again. (For fucks sake, he hadn’t even known heat could hang around that long.)

Lewin did as requested, raising a curious eyebrow and keeping his eye on them as long as he could while he finished the second bun. 

"Ryuuji!" Rin hissed, dropping his voice as if Ryuuji already had a migraine. "Why didn't you say something?"

The guilt was twisting higher and Rin was scrambling to clean up and he cracked open Ryuuji's tea and shoved it at him.  

“Tea doesn’t help with heat, Rin.” Ryuuji took it anyway because caffeine could help migraines. (Supposedly. He’d never really noticed any difference. Green tea was still his favorite drink either way.) 

He took a few sips and shrugged. “Seemed kinda late to mention it?” And how did you bring something like that up without painting someone as a bad guy? You gave me a triggering food! It wasn’t like it was a widely known thing. It wasn’t an allergy. It was just… 

Stupid of him to eat the whole thing simply so he didn’t lose Rin’s I’m mad at you challenge. 

Rin stood up and put his hand out to Ryuuji. 

"Okay but now you get to take the rest of the day off." Rin ordered. "Can you take something before the migraine? Is that allowed?" 

"I'm sorry, babe," Rin whispered.  

“I’m the one that ate the sandwich,” Ryuuji pointed out. “And that’s not necessary. It’d hit tomorrow if I got one.” Or around bedtime, which would mean a long night for him. “It’s not gonna be a problem,” he said, and hoped it wasn’t a lie even though it probably was. Ugh. He rather hated his broken ass brain. Maybe he’d get lucky and it’d take it a full day to hit. He could catch up with missing cram classes more easily than missing cram classes and regular classes. 

He did take Rin’s hand and move in close for an after lunch walk before their cram classes. (Hopefully not an intense aria class or that migraine would be guaranteed.) 

Rin frowned but accepted that Ryuuji knew what he was talking about. 

"Okay. No more spicy." Definitely not. Maybe to bribe Lewin but that's all.  

— — — — —

There was a light drizzle of rain out the window that was distracting with how the water streaked down the window as Rin waited for Ryuuji to appear. He had a towel ready to toss over his boyfriend and they could eat the leftover curry because Ryuuji loved curry and —

Rin blinked in confusion at the keyboard slap text he had just received from Ryuuji. What? 

It didn't make any sense to Rin and he immediately thought of an accidental typing, usually done when Ryuuji was on a run. But he couldn't help but feel worried. Rin sent out a text to Konekomaru and didn't have to wait long for the dreaded reply. 

A migraine. 

Rin's guilt drove him to immediately flick off the stove, ask Ukobach to put away the reheated food and run out the door with the ice packs from the freezer in his hands. 

It was entirely his fault and he would make it up to Ryuuji ten-fold. He ran all the way to Ryuuji's dorm and mentally thanked whoever had left the door unlocked (probably Konekomaru) as he nudged the door open as little as possible. 

Ryuuji was lying, curled up in a tight ball on his bed, his phone dropped onto the floor and the room as dark as it could be. Rin tiptoed his way over and sat down at the edge of Ryuuji's bed. 

The ice pack was laid over Ryuuji's shoulder and neck and Rin nudged at the tense muscles. 

"Ryuuji?"  

A whimper left Ryuuji’s lips (embarrassingly) as he rolled towards Rin. He thought he might have imagined the door opening and closing, but there wasn’t any imagining the blessed relief of the ice on his neck or the slight whisper of his name.

He knew he had fucked up with the sandwich, and he’d entirely cemented his fate when they’d had the sparring in his aria class. Trying to hold shields against the attacks had given him a mental beating, and no matter how much he wished it hadn’t happened, the migraine had hit him with a sledgehammer.

Embarrassing or not, Ryuuji pressed his face against Rin’s knees and told himself to explain about the migraine and the agony everything was, and that despite being the son of Satan, Rin was clearly actually an angel for bringing the ice pack and being so quiet about it. He told himself to apologize for the text when Rin had said to call, but calling wasn’t going to happen with a migraine. (Had he sent a text? It hurt even trying to remember.)

Instead of any of that, Ryuuji managed a simple (and raspy), “Rin.”

Rin bent his head down to bury his nose in Ryuuji's hair, nuzzling and trying to show without words that he was there. His fingers moved to rub at Ryuuji's head and neck while his tail curled around Ryuuji's back. 

"Did you take meds?" Rin whispered as loud as he dared.  

Ryuuji mumbled a yes that still felt too loud as it echoed around in his head, enhancing the pressure that was already trying to make his brain explode. 

He tilted towards the nuzzle, curling his fingers into the fabric of Rin’s shirt and appreciating the presence more than he could tell. (He couldn’t tell Rin much of anything at this moment.) He hated the isolation that always came with this and he’d wanted to hang out with Rin after their stressful afternoon, and his brain had fucked up his plans instead. (Though he supposed he should be grateful he didn’t often have the sensitivity to touch.)

The heat of his boyfriend’s touch was also a balm. He was half tempted to try and tuck his freezing toes against Rin’s legs. He never understood why his feet got cold with this. 

Rin toed off his shoes and climbed into bed next to Ryuuji and held him close to his chest. 

Rin would be taking Ryuuji out for something cold and bargain with Lewin for Ryuuji getting days off (bribed with the hottest food Rin could make.)   

Ryuuji curled up against him, hiding his face against Rin’s shoulder, tucking his freezing feet against Rin’s molten ones, closing his eyes a bit too tightly, and just breathing as well as he could. 

He laid there, surrounded by Rin, and slowly tried to find the words he needed through the fog in his head. He’d had something important to say, and he couldn’t let Rin lay here guilty. 

“Not your fault,” he murmured. “Aria class woulda done… woulda done it.” Something else had happened, but he didn’t remember it. The memories would come back later and he could explain that all more clearly later. He’d been doomed before that sandwich, but…

“I shouldn’ta finished it. A bite wouldn’t… wouldn’t do it… But not your fault.” He tugged on Rin’s shirt a little, not certain if his message had gotten across, or even made sense to begin with.

Rin rubbed his hands over Ryuuji's back and kissed Ryuuji's temple. 

"Okay. But no more spicy food." Rin whispered, warming Ryuuji's freezing feet and keeping him wrapped up and safe. "We just both gotta stop being so stubborn, eh?"  

Ryuuji grinned despite his pain. He doubted that would happen. Still… 

“It’s all Lightning’s fault,” Ryuuji decided, whispering as quietly as he could. Barely breathing the words because Rin could still hear them anyway. “I’m gonna make him take a bath for this.”

[catzula]

Boy in love

a/n: this is just a lil excuse to write the scene where you kiss Oikawa on his cheek and he smiles stupidly as he holds his face like he's trying to hold the kiss there forever.

Warnings and genre: not really angst, I made it look like it but its actually fluff (not proofread)

Oikawa feels like his heart is suddenly five kilograms heavier, dropping and dropping in his chest.

He feels a lump in the back of his throat at the sight of you chuckling at Iwaizumi, a sick feeling creeping up from his stomach to his chest, but it seems Oikawa is unable to look away from you.

You, who is standing under a pretty tree, the wind carrying the sound of your laughter all the way to him, Oikawa feels the goosebumps creeping up from his spine since he's not the reason for your laughter, but Iwaizumi is.

You look small under Iwaizumi's shadow, shielding you from the blinding sun, but Oikawa thinks he would rather see your smile shining with the warm light grazing it.

Oikawa finds himself feeling a tint of jealousy as he watches you fiddle with your fingers, with shyness, Oikawa supposes, averting your eyes from the handsome boy standing before you, who laughed along with you.

Oikawa isn't stupid. He knows what's happening, and despite the distance between you and his best friend, Oikawa feels he's witnessing something intimate.

He can't stop himself from thinking why, and it makes him feel even more guilty. Oikawa remembers- knows you. You were one of his fans, and your face has been familiar to him for a long time.

Perhaps you had thought he never noticed you since you were on the more quiet side, after all, not as bold as the others who came up to him to ask for a photo, gave him homemade goods, flirting with him without a thought.

You usually stood a bit further in the group, sending him a smile he always found adorable, mouthing a little 'do your best!' even though you thought he never saw it. And Oikawa knew, whenever the game got tough, it got strange and foreign, he knew he could send a glance at the stands, and you were always there, smiling and looking at him with awe, and it always helped Oikawa find his momentum again.

Oikawa only then realized how often he had started to see you around, actually. You were often by Iwa's side, hanging out with him and Oikawa at lunch breaks every once in a while. Oikawa always thought you were nice to converse with, and he liked talking to you, making you laugh, and even tease you sometimes. Even though he often felt you were hesitant at talking to him.

You seemed strained as if you found it hard to speak with him, and Oikawa only then noticed how much he hated seeing you laugh so bright and talk so light to his best friend instead.

He secretly hoped it was him you were there for, but looking at you two now, he has to admit, it's a little painful to see you with Iwaizumi instead, closer to him than you have ever been to Oikawa.

He has no right to feel this way, even though he had liked you all this time, ever since he had first seen you. After all, Oikawa hadn't done anything to approach you, but it wasn't because he didn't want to, but it seems, Oikawa was clueless as to what to do at anything about you.

He felt... shy, when yiu were around.

And now he had missed his chance, he thought grimly. All because he was stupid and a coward and-

But Oikawa is good at masking his thoughts, something he was able to do for years now, so he's able to send you a bright smile when he notices you averted your eyes from the green ones to his, a small wave of your hand directed in his way.

"Y/N-chan!" He chimes, his body making its way to you before his mind even realizes it. 

"Hi, Oikawa-kun." You smile, but it feels even more strained than the ones you usually had around him. There is a tint of tension hanging in the air, and you seem nervous, Oikawa takes note with a frown. Even more so than the usual. 

"Is there something wrong?" The question makes you panic and Iwa grin widely as he glances at you. It's a look of 'you're on your own,' but Oikawa is too focused on you to notice. "No- no, nothing wrong." You try to answer, but the panicked way you speak is a big give-away.

"Did Iwa-chan say something mean?" Oikawa glances at his best friend. "You really have to learn to control yourself, you know." You can't hold back a laughter when Oikawa fails at dodging Iwa's hand, rubbing the back of his head with a wince. "This is what I mean! Control your- okay, sorry, don't hit me."

"It isn't anything Iwa did, don't worry." You assure the brunette with a giggle, who seems a little off today, as well. "Well then," Oikawa shrugs, "what were you talking about?"

Oikawa knows he hit jackpot by the panicked look in your eyes and the grin that appears on Hajime's lips. "Umm," you start to fiddle with your fingers and its Iwaizumi's que to leave.

Oikawa doesn't even notice it as Iwa excuses himself with a flimsy reason, sending you a gruff smile as you look at him, almost like you're crying for help.

Oikawa has a few guesses as to whats happening, and none of them seem good.

(were you going to tell him you started dating? was that what you were talking about, laughing a few seconds ago? since it was only normal, Oikawa would be the first you would tell if it were true, Oikawa can't feel anythingbut panic.)

"Come on, Y/N-chan, just tell me!" Oikawa insists, his fake smile still hanging on his lips. "I won't tell anyone, I promise." The playful wink he concluded his sentence with makes you bite your lips.

You nod and Oikawa feels like maybe he shouldn't have asked you to tell it to him now. Oikawa's not sure if he's ready to hear his feelings can never be reciprocated, but he still manages to keep his smile.

You look at him brightly, smiling a little, and you wave your hand as to tell him to come a little closer.

As you bring your face closer to his, you're leaning towards his ear, he notices. You're going to whisper it to him? Oikawa can't say he's surprised, Iwaizumi had always been a more closed off person, after all, it's normal he doesn't want everyone to know you are dating, probably.

But it isn't what happens, instead, Oikawa feels your lips graze the smooth skin of his cheek, pressing a small kiss on his face and pulling back quickly.

Oikawa freezes, the position he's in, slightly bend forward, hands behind his back, is a little awkward, too, but he can't think clear enough to stand straight.

What just happened?

His widened eyes find yours, you have a smile on your lips, and you're desperately trying to hide your embarrassment and failing, but Oikawa's the one in the worse condition, so it's okay.

You wave him a small goodbye, and you're running off without saying anything or letting him get himself back together.

Seconds, minutes and maybe even more goes by and Oikawa's still standing under the tree, trying to understand if this was a dream his mind came up with.

He raises his hand up to his face, his fingers grazing the skin you had pressed your lips, and he finds it still warm. At that, it's impossible for Oikawa to suppress the smile now appearing on his lips, his eyes ramaging through the area to catch a glimpse of you to return the kiss.

You're standing a few meters away from him, hiding behind the wall of your school building. You can't help but think it's a sight to behold, Oikawa flushed a reddish pink, a stupid smile on his lips as he cups his cheek like a boy in love.

[marchioness-caprina]

You Like Me Not?

Pairings : Takami Keigo (Hawks) x Reader

Writing Style : 3rd Person

Warnings : Mild Cussing

Word Count 3290

3rd Person's POV

" Hawks. I'll ask you Nicely ok? Can you Please Please keep your distance from That New hero in your agency? That Foxy bimbo bitch what's her name again? " Y/n ranted narrowing her eyes towards Keigo who was casually lounging down on the couch with an amused look on his face.

" Now now Little Dove, I can't avoid her if you don't even know her name. But if I must say it then... Hmm" Keigo's eyes gleamed mischievously at the female in front of him as he uttered a word that made y/n go red with anger .

" Enchantress? "

" Keigo. " Y/n gave him a stern look and he just laughed at her face like it was a joke.

" Listen Kid. Looks like you gotta have another reality check. I can't avoid her because.... " Keigo paused his eyes never leaving y/n's angered face.

" Because? " Y/n growled impatiently as she crossed her arms.

" 1. We're Not even dating but here you are acting like you're MY girlfriend when you're clearly you're.... Not. " Keigo chuckled and y/n who knew that it was a fact flinched; feeling as if a million bricks were dropped on top of her head. The way he said it was like a harsh blow to the gut but she kept her usual strong expression.

" 2. We're working under the same agency so getting paired up with her isn't avoidable... Plus as her hero name states... She is enchanting " Keigo's smirk only grew as y/n's face became flushed with anger. Her eyes burning up dangerously as she gave a venomous glare at Keigo.

" And last but not the least... 3. I'm not interested in a first year kid. So chances of the two of us of ever dating is a Big fat No. Plus I think Enchantress is a lot more prettier than the average and if you ask me... I'd go after adults like her than Kids like you so stop acting like we're---" Although Keigo's Tone was indeed playful and the smirk on his face made it even more clearer. His words stung like hell.

Y/n who was visiting their agency and went straight up to his office to complain had taken in the harsh damages and blows. Yes she may be a first year brat in U.A but was it really terrible to love someone older than her by a few years?.

Apparently she was a little naive in terms of love so when Keigo saved her when she was still in middle school she fell in love. Who wouldn't? He's got undeniable charms, a pretty face , a well sculptured figure but most of all. He made her feel safe and protected, setting she never felt before so when she finally began studying in U.A she decided to pursue Hawks so it was very common for her to come by the agency. Almost everyone knows who she is by now.

So this was the usual; but it was the first time she walked out on Keigo who was still Talking.

Because it was honestly too much. After she confessed to him and started pursuing him, Keigo decided to be a Jerk and gave her a very hard time. When she'd come over to give him lunch he'd purposely fly away and call her to deliver it to a specific place but when she gets there he calls her again to either say that she was taking too long and left or he had 'accidentally' gave the wrong address and he needs her to send it on this one instead.

And he keeps doing that everytime. He even went as far as to go to another town to have her chasing him like a madman. Yet her determination never faltered. Something Hawks had came to acknowledge her for.

He sends her on wild goose chases and one time he gave her 3 wrong addresses even though he was only sitting in his office the whole time.

And if people think his wings are sharp then his words are sharper. He may be sweet to the media or the other people outside but when talking to her, his words are venomous, sarcastic, and over all it's just rude and pretty painful to hear.

How y/n had managed to stand strong until now was a mystery and everyone in the agency had grew to respect her for this but also carrying a little hatred for Hawks who purposely plays with her.

Keigo who was left in his office was speechless, he blinked a few times and even pinched himself to see if he was dreaming and when he found out that he wasn't he gave out a sigh.

It was quiet, far too quiet. His mind drifted off to y/n who had stormed out of his office awhile ago. Yes he was very much aware of the cruel treatment he was giving her but that's only because he wanted to see how persistent this girl was with her love for him, he thought she'd give up within the second time but when she never did he grew even more intrested and began testing her a lot more than intended and when he found out that her affection for him was too strong.

He didn't know what to do and began running away like a coward. It was wrong in so many levels. She was younger than him not to mention she's still studying in U.A, His job isn't necessarily designed to have a normal life and finding love and making a family IS normal, and he might die one day and he didn't want her to carry the burden of losing him so it's better to make her hate him.

But boy was he wrong when she kept coming back stronger than before. She was already forcing her way in his heart that he became distressed with his emotions.

And poof, he suddenly realized that he loved her back.

Something about her allured him to no ends and curse his animalistic instincts when it comes to mates because as much as he hates to admit it, he had already acknowledged her as a Mate. HIS mate. He can't help but be greedy and possessive of her, and the the mighty knows how many nights he had to lock himself in, restrain himself while his self control was being brutally tested on ; because with one wrong move he may have already infiltrated U.A causing a security distress, Crashed inside her dorm room , fucking bred her like a feral animal and claimed her like the pretty little mate she was.

Everytime he sees her, his control weakens and he had to hit himself and punch his face multiple times literally to remind himself that she was still a goddamn minor and he can't have his way with her yet.

She's not making it any easier for him so he developed a bad habit of taking it out on her because if his words can't do the talking then he might as well jump her bones and have her screaming his name.

Keigo groaned as he planted his palm on his forehead.

He was beginning to feel anxious. Like something bad was about to happen; something he didn't like at all.

He turned on the T.V and started reading through a few papers works but he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He jumped out the window and began feverishly looking for the h/c haired girl.

" Fuck me and my Fucking Hormones... God.... Kid what have you done to me? " He mumbled but it came out as a growl instead. He was agitated, frantic and nervous, he couldn't get her out of his head even if he'd hit his head on a fucking billboard.

His eyes darting to every direction he knew she would take to get here. As creepy as it may sound but he knows every single route she'd take to get to his agency including the transportation she'd take to get there every time.

After some time he finally spotted her after dashing and flying at jet speed throughout the city like a mentally deranged patient he had finally spotted her .

A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he tried to regain his cool.

" Hey Kid" He yelled out once he was near enough and he got no answer.

Y/n had purposely ignored him. His words still rang inside her head and everytime she remembered. It made her heart clench in pain.

And when she heard her name being called out by the said Male . She wanted to turn around. hell she even wanted to run to him like a love sick little puppy but she can't let him see that she was crying.

So she ignored him and began walking at a faster pace.

" Oohh~ playing hard to get now aren't we? You know you gotta try harder. A little silent treatment isn't going to have me falling for you ya know" keigo casually stated with a hint of playfulness but he knew any better; he was desperate to have her attention back to him.

God, what did he do? Did she finally wake up and decided that she was sick of his bullshit treatment? Shit now what?.

After minutes of no answer Keigo began to feel frustrated and without thinking he landed behind her and grabbed her by the shoulder. only to whirl her around to face him.

" Kid---"

Keigo froze after seeing here blood shot eyes and tear stained cheeks.

He did it this time and he felt like a full blown jerk for doing this... For hurting her.

Y/n avoided any form of eye contact and placed her eyes on anywhere but him, lips quivering in a mixture of anger and sadness. She looked like a mess.

But Keigo thought otherwise though, he felt so sick of himself. The face she was making, teary eyes, flushed cheeks, quivering lips. It had disgustingly turned him on even though the situation screamed otherwise. His thoughts began to drift into the dirtiest part of his mind wondering if this face would be the reward he'd get if he'd have her under him, sprawled all over his sheets, sweaty and needy for him while crying-- no begging for him to give her more while he rearranged her guts. Damn he really was Messed up in every possible way.

He wanted to slap himself for thinking that way but a part of him couldn't blame himself because ever since she started coming over he had been so pent up it was a miracle he hadn't fucked her on the spot. And he didn't even have the guts to fuck another woman because he already acknowledged her as a mate; HIS mate.

He swallowed hard before forcing himself to speak.

" What's this? Now you're giving me a Sad and Pity worthy face? If you're making me feel guilty then it's working. I didn't think you'd stoop this low th---"

" Takami leave me alone. I don't want to see you right now, if you came here to insult me even further then just Go. " Y/n cut him off, she was unable to bring herself from listening to another one of his remarkable insults again when the wound was still fresh.

Keigo paused as his once playful stare began to change into a more intimidating and stern look.

' Leave you Alone? After what you've done to me? Oh~ what a naughty baby bird... No Never.... I'll keep this in mind when I finally claim you, I'll punish you for ever thinking of leaving' those thoughts circulated through Keigo's head as he silently stood there. Staring at her.

Y/n who was unable to handle the pressure tried to yank herself away from his hold but he had a grisly grip on her shoulders and his gaze managed to intimidate her enough to stop moving.

" Listen.... Y/n---"

" Senior Hawks! " Keigo was cut off from speaking and to top it all up he was taken by surprise and his reflexes kicked in; pushing y/n away quite harshly.

Their gazes were flung to the left where Enchantress, the new Hero in their agency was running towards them with a devious smile.

Keigo groaned and y/n rolled her eyes after seeing the pink haired female make her way towards them.

" Hey " Keigo muttered but again; he was caught by surprise when Enchantress had wrapped her arms around his while smiling proudly at y/n.

" Who's This Senior? " She asked pointing at y/n but the look on her face made it obvious that she already knew who y/n was.

" She's y/n...a fan" Keigo's persona shifted in a heartbeat and was now wearing his natural and charming smile.

" Oh? She's a Fan? Well nice to meet you. I'm the new Hero Enchantress, Say... You have a pretty face " Enchantress smirked making y/n fight back a scowl.

" Thanks " As much as y/n wanted to drop all the pleasantries and Immediately move to the part where she's ripping of Enchantress's left boob.... She can't.

So she decided to keep it neutral and gave Enchantress a small nod and a smile.

" You have a pretty face... But... Senior if you were given a chance to pick, which one of us would you choose? I wonder" Enchantress cheered innocently but her question got Hawks cornered.

She was doing this on purpose; placing him in a situation where he'd most likely fuck up and judging by the looks the two females were giving him... He can't smooth talk his way outta this. Not this time.

" Of course.... I'd pick you-- " Keigo's eyes we're settled on y/n but he pulled his gaze away from her and towards enchantress. " Enchantress" Keigo finished and The look of triumph on The pink haired female's face was floor-bash worthy.

Y/n stood in place, for a moment there she had her hopes up. Keigo was cruel enough to pull that stunt on her; giving her false hope only to bring her down and rub it in her face.

" Or course you'd pick me, miss y/n is still a kid and she's... Take no Offense in this miss y/n but Senior Hawks is a bit... Hmmm... Out of your league?" Enchantress smirk grew wider and Hawks who was already lying through his teeth was still fighting his Pride for dominance.

With a sharp glare sent towards Enchantress who didn't seem to notice only scooted closer towards him.

" Oh, Really? Ok then "

Keigo blinked at how nonchalant and uncaring y/n's reply was. He was genuinely expecting her to explode like usual but this time it's different.

Y/n was fighting back the new batch of tears, heartbreak was a real pain in the ass. Couldn't he just put her down slowly? Why is he taking pleasure in hurting her this way? Now he's rubbing salt onto the wound.

In which area did she lack in? Her face? Body? Skill? Intelligence? Now that she thought about it, Enchantress tray lived up to her Hero name. She was perfect in every angle.... Perfect for Hawks. Enchantress had a nice body, a seductive face and y/n heard of the achievements done by the Female Hero.

She can't beat her even if she tried. She's mentally, physically and emotionally drained to even give a reaction. She'd just get hurt even more.

Maybe this is a sign.

For her to finally give up, move on, shift her focus and concentration to something more beneficial.

This was hopeless and all she ever got was pain. She's not a masochist who yearns for the continuous and brutal impact of emotional pain. Heck even masochists needs a little love too.

She's tired and y/n knows better than to put herself down with her own insecurities. So she needed to make a move fast because she'll only get hurt again.

It's wise to forget him.

With a deep breath she pulled out a strong front with a genuine smile on her face as she gazed at Keigo and Enchantress.

Keigo wore an anxious look while Enchantress held a surprised expression.

" Well, you two do look compatible and you're right he is out of my league.... That's why I'll look for someone else within my reach. He's not the only fish in the pond.... I'm sure I'm holding you guys back.. Carry on with your hero duties, I'll go back now Bye~" Y/n turned around and gave them a wave before skipping away from the two.

Her tone along with her smile looked far too cheerful that it scared Hawks.

Did she just say she'd look for Someone Else?, she had the guts to say that right in front of him?.

He balled his hand into a fist, and for the first time in his life he had never felt this scared to lose someone. He was breathing heavily while throwing a mental tantrum.

" You know.... I thought you'd finally stop that bad habit of yours Hawks.... I learned from the rumors and wanted to see for myself and probably give you a hand to confess to her but now that I've witnessed it, You really are a Fucktard" Enchantress shook her head as she crossed her arms gazing at Hawks with disappointment.

" Fuck off. This was your fault to Begin with. It's not as easy as you think"

" Really? You're blaming me for all the fuck ups you're responsible for? A girl's heart is fragile Hawks... I didn't live for a hundred years buried in the shelter of naivety. Her love was true and I think you just lost your chances.... If you wanna fix it. Fix it fast because once a girl has enough, she'll leave you like you're worth nothing. "

" I... I know I fucked up but your meddling wasn't necessary "

" Really? I was getting tired of watching you hurt her. I'm a woman too and I don't appreciate seeing other men hurt a woman who clearly loves them.... I did her a favor by giving her the ultimatum to let go... Looks like she took it in the end " Enchantress chuckled while Hawks stood there, his demeanor turning darker by the passing second.

" You're saying it's better that she leave me? " Keigo muttered Darkly , a dangerous look in his eyes began to resurface.

Enchantress kept a calm expression and nodded her head.

" You're Toxic Hawks. And it's better for her to leave you than seeing her get hurt over and over again... I've been in that stage before... And it hurts more than any injury I've suffered... "

" Since you're so knowledgeable about this then why not tell me how to fix it? Before I decide to go rogue and slit your throat" keigo threatened as he plucked out a feather which turned rudged and sharp; pointing it at Enchantress .

" Hmm... You seem to Love her judging by how strongly you reacted ... But you're worst than shit in showing it... But here's a tip . If you wanna fix it then fix yourself first. Learn how to treat a woman you like as if she's greater than a queen and remember that I'm not the one who hurt her...it was you." With those words being uttered Enchantress disappeared in a puff of smoke.

........ To be continued

[kawaiikatanabushi]

Hakuouki Okichi Belated Fictober 2019

November Latetober entry Day 4 “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

Fandom: Hakuouki

Pairing: Okichi

Triggers: Depression, suggestion of divorce, illness, tuberculosis, minor self-loathing, angst

A snippet taken from an upcoming Okichi story in which Souji and Chizuru wind up in a self-arranged marriage deal.

They were falling into a steady rhythm, adjusting to his home health care with hardly any effort. She would rise before him, make breakfast for herself as she allowed him to sleep a few hours more, give him his first dosage at 11 as he was waking and feed him if he was hungry, write her nurse's notes and attend to his needs with ease and still make time to be his wife in the evening. It had been a flippant moment of chance that had brought them into marriage. Her heart being broken and his own agenda aside, they had become a good team. He had never expected to be so humbled and indebted to her. She was the pinnacle of goodness and he felt his uselessness settle as a weighty depression. He didn't deserve any of her tender care. He hadn't even given her a family as he had promised. It was their deal and he was skimping on the bargain. He felt worthless as she juggled their lives and he slept through most of it.

"Souji," she called softly, noticing the somber hue casting his features in dismal drudgery, "Are you alright? What's the matter?"

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes against her fondly mussing his bangs. She deserved far better than him. She hadn't even picked up on his cowardice, being unable to tell her how madly in love with her he had become. He was a failure, laid up in bed and eating up her youth. He had brought sickness into their lives and tormented her future with his worthless life.

"I know you didn't ask for this," he began, shaking his head lethargically as she opened her mouth to protest, "Please, Chizuru. Let me finish. Your brother suggested you leave me. That idiot Kazama has promised you a future countless times. Kodo-san would be thrilled. You're wasting your life with me. Even your friend Sen thinks you'd be better off without me. I think their right. You don't need me. I'm no good for you. I can't give you that baby you want. I'm too weak. I'm always tired, out of breath. I can't even hold my own bowl of food. You always feed me. Bathe me. Usher me to the bathroom. You didn't sign up for nursing a sickly husband. You didn't sign up for being with a pathetic man. You didn't ask for any of this!"

A culmination of feeling horribly ill, feeling a burden and being in love reduced him to frustrated tears. It seemed the only thing he could do was cry, as much as he had forced the urge away and despised the act for several months. He slowly rolled onto his other side, shielding her from seeing his emotional breakdown. He had come to the end of his rope, reduced to a grieving pile of sorrow.

"You should leave me," he choked out in a small whisper.

A warm petite hand rested against his back, rubbing soothing circles as she shushed him tenderly. She allowed him to release his pent-up frustration and self-loathing, knowing that a good cry might relieve some of his stresses. He was being all-too-hard on himself, as was expected of a warrior. It was so difficult to nurse the emotional needs of such an independent and stubborn man. She pulled back his blanket, settling down behind him. She wrapped her arms about his neck, planting kisses to his head as one hand stroked his chest.

"Shh, Souji, shh," Chizuru muttered into his hair, nuzzling her nose onto his head, "You're just having a rough day. It's perfectly expected to feel like this when you're so unwell. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay, it's okay. Just let it out, Souji. Let it out and I'll make you some daikon porridge, okay?"

"Food doesn't fix everything, Chizuru," Souji sobbed, wiping at his nose, "You're too good to me. I don't deserve this. You'll come to resent me. It's only been three months of this whole setup. You'll tire of me eventually. I can't give you anything. I can't give you a family and I promised it to you. What if these antibiotics make me sterile? There goes that baby we planned on,"

"We can always adopt," Chizuru mumbled tenderly, holding him all the tighter, "Don't despair, Souji. There's always hope,"

"What if we can't afford a baby?" He asked quietly, weakly lacing his hand with hers.

"Oh, Souji," she sighed in sympathy, shifting to rest her cheek on his, "I don't think you understand. I came to the Shinsengumi, a simple homecare nurse who lived a quiet and average life, even as an oni. Yes, I had a giant crush on Hijikata-san, but do you know who came to my rescue when he announced his engagement? Who asked after my feelings, Souji? Who listened to my woes and offered a solution, unorthodox as it was? You know him. I married him. He's such a feeling and good man. Kids and cats alike adore him. He's playful and mischievous, but I can't imagine having a life without him now. I don't care how difficult this time is. We're going to get through it. Do you know why, Souji? Because, you are my family. My life. My husband. I didn't ask for this, that's true. But, I don't mind. I want to care for you. I can't abandon you now. I got too close. I care too deeply for you. I'm not going to leave you, I'd rather die first. You're my husband, for better or worse. Yes, I want to be a mother, but the importance of that pales in comparison to my husband getting well. You're my life, now. I don't want to be apart from you. You're my everything,"

He could not respond. He wanted to tell her then, be the one to say he loved her first. His heart was so overwhelmed, all he could do was cry harder. She always managed to push away the debris surrounding his heart and heal him in the most broken places. He would be lost without her and the reality of being abandoned by her was too frightening a thought. He never wanted to lose her. He wanted to be selfish and keep her, even at the cost of her happiness. He loved her so much, his heart throbbed.

With great effort, he moved to lay upon his back and pulled off his oxygen, motioning from her to come closer with a tender half-smile. She smiled serenely, meeting him for a tender kiss. It was all he could do to express his gratitude. She balanced everything in his life and he would be lost without her.

"Never leave me," he begged upon parting, rubbing his nose on hers, "I'd be so lost without you,"

"Thankfully, the weight of my wedding band will keep me at your side, always," Chizuru promised, kissing his forehead, "Now, let's get you hydrated again and fed. No more silly talk of leaving,"

"How about a compromise? We're both so tired, I think a nap should be prescribed," he smirked, his eyes soft and sparkling for the first time in a while.

"Alright," Chizuru laughed, settling herself in the crook of his arm, "But, you're eating as soon as I wake up,"

"It's a promise," he agreed, wiping away his residual tears.

She was almost instantly asleep in his arms and exhausted as he was, he remained awake for a moment to watch his sleeping wife. It was as if he had an angel in his embrace. He placed a few weary kisses to her forehead, stroking his fingers through her hair. How serene and healing it was to hold her against him, watching how peaceful her sleeping expression was. How was this connection so precious fulfilling for him? She completed him in a way he could never express. He rested his forehead to hers, kissing her nose.

"I love you," he whispered, looking over her face with unveiled adoration, "One day, I won't be such a coward. One day, I'll tell you how you complete me. You deserve to know how I feel. One day, I'll be braver. I'll be better just for you. I promise. You can have all of me. I'll stop holding back. Just, wait a little longer, ne? I'm so scared of failing you... and... I'm talking to myself. Uh, Souji. Just tell her in person, ne?"

He chuckled to himself, yawning widely as his lids became heavy. Sometimes, there was no better emotional cure than a lengthy cuddle with his tender, feisty and cute wife. She was his everything.

[19agbrown]

Returned Part 1

Series: Returned

Supernatural fan-fic

Chapter: 1

Pairing(s): Dean x Cas(eventually)

Warnings: language, violence, mention of child abuse, sibling murder, some deancas fluff and angst, hinted deancas smut(nothing too bad, but I thought I should mention it anyway), dean nightmare, and let me know if there is something I should've put but didn't.

Note: This is my way of celebrating my blog hitting 200 FOLLOWERS. I'm very excited about this, and I've had this idea for a while, so I figured that I'd write it for my 200 celebration, but I'm delighted to say that that came far sooner than I expected. I just wanted to say thank you SO much for following me! And please let me know in the comments how you feel about chapter 1 of "Returned". If you want tagged for further chapters, let me know, and I'll see if I can figure out how to work the tags. If you have any suggestions for further chapters, let me know, and ill see what I can do to put it in! Once again, thank you all so much for following me! Chapter 2 will be posted soon!

(Dream in italics)

At 11:32pm, a black 1967 Chevy Impala pulled into the garage of an old Men of Letters bunker, carrying 5 weary passengers. The driver, a tall man with startling green eyes, sighed upon entering. "Home sweet home." This man, was Dean Winchester. And the other 4 passengers, of course, were; Sam and Mary Winchester, Castiel the Angel, and Jack Kline the Nephilim. The very odd family had just returned from a fairly tough Werewolf hunt.

Bruised, bleeding, and just plain exhausted, the family exited the car, and entered the seemingly endless hallway that would deliver them to the Bunker proper. "Who wants pancakes?" Mary asked with a falsely cheerful smile. "I do!" Jack replied almost at once. Mary gave Jack a tired chuckle and a fond smile. Sam said as he dropped the dark blue duffle bag onto the war room table, "I'm sure Dean does too." Dean shook his head, and said through a yawn, "No, I'm good." Sam frowned at Dean, and laughed when Castiel put a hand to Dean's forehead. Blushing a deep shade of pink, Dean spluttered, "C-Cas, what exactly are you doing?" Castiel squinted at Dean, and tilted his head to the side as he replied, "I am checking your temperature." 

Ignoring Sam's extremely loud laughter, Dean asked, "And why are you doing that?" Dropping his hand, Castiel replied, "You turned down food, so I thought you might be sick." At this, Sam laughed so hard that Dean was surprised that he wasn't running for a bathroom. Dean's blush deepened from pink to red, as he said, "No Cas, I'm not sick, I'm just tired. I just need to sleep a little. Get my 4 hours in, ya know?" Castiel frowned, and said, "No, I do not. But I will take your word for it." Dean cleared his throat, and said, "Alright then. I'm going to bed. Unless... you would like to come with me?"

Dean said this with a slight hopefulness that did not escape the attention of Mary and Sam, but Castiel noticed nothing. In his typical confused fashion, Castiel took Dean's offer to be a joke. "So, this is sarcasm." He thought. Not knowing how to respond to what he took to be just Dean's sense of humor, Castiel treated it as a serious request. "No thank you, Dean. I will just go and read some lore in the library."

With sadness that was obvious to everyone in the room, Dean nodded, and turned on his heel. Thinking hopefully that Dean had not been just joking, Castiel reached his hand out to stop him from leaving. But Dean was already slipping moodily through the doorway, and into the winding hallway that lead to Dean's room.

Dean sped quickly to his room, cursing his own stupidity the entire way. Slamming the door behind him, Dean went in. Not bothering to even undress, Dean dropped down to his bed, and sprawled himself out on top of the covers. Dean thought that, as usual, he would be kept up by thoughts of Cas, but much to his surprise, his eye lids began to droop as soon as his head touched the pillow.

The few feet between them might as well have been miles. Dean started as his sweeping gaze caught bright blue eyes, blinking slowly in the dim light. "Hello Dean." The gravelly voice behind the eyes that he so loved spoke. "C-Cas?" Dean's voice echoed in the small space. Suddenly Cas was under him, and smiling a shy, but perfect smile.

Dean couldn't believe that this was happening. Cas was here, and Cas was his. He HAD to be dreaming. It was with a pang that he realized he really was dreaming. If this were real, Cas would never be here, or be his.

But, Dean decided to make the most of the most beautiful person he had ever seen, laying completely naked beneath him. Even if it WAS only a dream.

Cas gave of a cute little gasp as Dean's mouth crashed against his. Dean shuddered as Cas' long fingers dug into his back. "C-Cas?" Dean said shyly. Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's hair as he replied softly. "Yes Dean?" Dean gulped before saying the one thing that he had wanted to tell the real Cas for years.

"I love you." Cas offered Dean a shy smile and Dean studied his face as a hint of pink lit it up. "I love you too Dean." Dean sighed in relief. Dean's sigh turned into a growl as Cas ran his hand down Dean's back, going lower and lower. Dean gasped in shock as Cas' hand found it's destination.

Cas laughed a gravelly laugh that Dean could listen to forever, before pulling the blanket up over their heads.

When they finally reemerged from under the blanket, Dean's face was a mask of joy, and Cas' face was lit up with bliss. "That was..." Dean began before he trailed off. "I know." Cas said quietly. But just as Dean's arms wrapped around Cas' glowing frame, everything changed.

A whirlwind the color of blood spiraled across Dean's perfect dream, and Cas was ripped away from him. "Cas!" Dean shouted desperately. But Cas was unable to answer as he was carried away on the wind. Dean screamed as the whirlwind swept him up, and he was tossed all around the red vertex.

When the whirlwind finally dropped Dean, he was standing right smack in the middle of an old nightmare that he hadn't seen in years. This nightmare was something that Dean used to dread, but over the years, the event that lead to it had become so faint that Dean could almost pretend that it had happened the way he and John had told Sam it had. 

Dean's tear filled green eyes were locked onto her blood shot brown ones. She was no older than he was, in fact she was 12 minuets younger, but she looked like she was years older. Dean knew her to be a very cheerful person, but the dark circles under her eyes told him that her story lately had not been so bright. Dean tried his best to keep his eyes averted from the scarlet blood that had been forcefully smeared across her mouth, but to no avail.

Dean started as his father's cold words bit into his brain like knives. "Do it Dean." He had said. The tears which Dean was struggling to hold back threatened to spill over as she begged him, "Dean... don't do it. Please don't do it." She wasn't crying, and Dean was not surprised. She was made of tougher stuff than that. His hands were slick with sweat on the leather covered handle of John's revolver. "Dean. Now." John Commanded.

Dean couldn't breathe. Her calm eyes bore into his, as she said in a reasonable tone, the same tone she had used when coaxing Sammy to finish his dinner, "Dean, you don't have to do this, you're better than this." His hands began shaking. He didn't want to do it, but what other choice did he have?  "Dean! Do as I say!" John shouted angry at being disobeyed. Dean flinched, expecting the rough hit that would usually accompany his disobedience. But the hit never came, making Dean realize that John didn't want this either. Not really. But he had asked it to be done, so it had to be done. Slowly as he could, Dean reluctantly slid his index finger to the cold, steel trigger. 

"Dean, you don't have to do what Dad says, you can walk away from this." Her soft and gentle tone did nothing to soften the implication of her words. Did she think he couldn't do it? Did she really think that he was that weak? He wasn't weak, and he meant to tell her that, but what came out instead would tell her just exactly what he had decided to do. "Shut up Alley! Just shut up! I'm not like you! I'm not a weak, insufferable coward! I don't abandon my family when they need me! I didn't take Sammy and run, leaving behind the only other 2 people who cared about me! No, Alley. I can't walk away. I won't walk away. I'm so sorry Sissy, and I hope that you'll forgive me in Heaven, if we make it there. If not, then see you in Hell."

Her brown eyes widened, betraying the first sign of terror. Her voice was pitched overly high as she said, "Dean..." BANG! Dean gasped as the tiny revolver recoiled in his sweaty hands. Dean screamed in anguish as he saw the perfectly round bullet-hole in her forehead. "You had to do it son." John said grimly, ignoring Dean's cries. Dean walked stiffly over to where she layed, rigid as a board. Dean fell to his knees next to her, and let his tears fall freely. Dean, gently as he could manage, cradled her head in his lap. 

Dean then began rocking numbly back and forth. "I'm so sorry Sissy, I had to do it. I'm so sorry." Dean repeatedly whispered to her deaf ears. Dean's whispers slowly got louder as she just layed there, unknowing and uncaring that his very soul felt like it was shattering. John reached a shaking hand over Dean's shoulder and closed the glassy, sightless eyes of his only daughter. "Bye Princess." John whispered faintly. 

Dean's whispers rose to screams of "Sissy wake up! I'm sorry Sissy! Please wake up!" Then he began repeating at the same volume, "Sissy no! Sissy no! Sissy no!" A deep rumbling voice that had never been there before yelled, "Dean wake up!" Dean heard the slightly familiar voice as if from the other end of a long, long tunnel. Dean watched in shock as Alley did something she had never done before. She woke up. "Dean." She said angrily. Dean's screams didn't stop, but his heart nearly did as she stood. The bullet-hole was miraculously gone, and she looked at him with none of the love he remembered seeing in those eyes, even when they were blank and glassy. 

"Dean wake up!" the voice cut in again, sounding closer this time. "Dean," She said to him, some of the old love seeping back into her voice and eyes. "Beany, you've got to wake up. And you can't dream about me anymore okay?" Still screaming, Dean nodded. "There's my good -" 

But her good what, he would never know, for at this moment, Castiel finally succeeded at waking him up. Dean sat up, still screaming her name. Castiel's arms enveloped him instantly. And mere seconds later, Sam's hand clamped onto his shoulder. Tears poured down Dean's face in streams. Great, wracking sobs ripped through Dean's body. "It's okay Dean. Shhhh... You're okay. You're safe, I promise." Castiel's voice soothingly rumbled. Dean shook his head, and burried his face into Castiel's shoulder. 

Mary's voice sounded from somewhere to Dean's right, and she sounded worried. "What's wrong with Dean?" She asked. Dean dug his fingers into Castiel's back as he thought that she wouldn't care if she knew what he had done. Nobody answered Mary.

Castiel tilted his head a bit to the side and asked Sam, "Who is Sissy?" Cas and Sam immediately felt Dean tense. Sam took a moment to gather his thoughts, and then answered slowly, "Sissy is the nickname that Dean had for our sister." Mary nodded and said, "Like how he calls you Sammy." Sam shrugged, "Not exactly. He always called her that because she wasn't a sissy. She was tougher than Dean or I, and we all knew it. I think that calling her Sissy just made him feel better about it, and she never minded much, so he just kept doing it."

Castiel squinted at Sam. "You have a sister?" Sam nodded. "Yes. Well... had a sister..." Castiel tilted his head even further to the side. "Had?" Sam cleared his throat and said, "She died when I was 13. Vamp got her. Dad and Dean saw the whole thing, but couldn't stop it. She was Dean's twin." Castiel's arms tightened even more around Dean as Sam finished.

Miles away, the ground beneath a 23-year-old oak tree began heaving and moving. In a matter of minutes, a girl was crawling out of it. All 6 feet of her stood on the edge of the patch of churned earth, staring up at the light purple sky, just visible through the tree branches. It had been so long since she'd last seen the sky, but just how long, she had no clue.

"Dean," She whispered to the heavens with an edge in her voice. "I'm coming for you brother."