#if i tried anything back it was always straight to ma with a '[redacted] hit me!!!! moooooom!!!!' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-woild-is-y-erster · 1 year

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headphone emoji. i cannot be arsed finding it.

real.

im gonna shuffle my playlist for a fic im writing so bear with me

you got Brother by Madds Buckley

yes i am aware this is a mha fan song

no i dont care

no i dont watch mha

anywhizzle

fav lyrics are

"and i left you alone/in a house not a home/and i watched the burning grow as my hair filled with gray"

i really love this song because my brother is leaving for college either this fall or early spring, and i havent thought of my house as home in years because of my parents and my brother and him bein the favorite.

so it feels like from the pov of an older sibling leaving their younger siblings in an abusive house, an if that aint my brother n i, i dunno what is.

#eel gets asks!#it makes me cry every time i listen to it #because my brother and i were super super close when we were little #and when we moved when i was a kid it like #changed somethin in him #and he hated me.#and i dont even mean like 'oh youre my sibling and i hate you but i still love you because we're siblings'#i mean he despised me for the next three or four years.#he would hit me and leave his belts purposely on the bathroom floor so i would step on the buckle and get hurt #if i tried anything back it was always straight to ma with a '[redacted] hit me!!!! moooooom!!!!'#i couldnt even defend myself without getting hurt even worse next time.#he pushed me off our swingset one time and i almost broke my arm #couldnt move it for a week after #but one day he just. acted like we were brothers again.#like everything was fine and he never beat me #he pretended that it wasn't his fault i still flinch when someone moves too quickly near me.#and i guess we've gotten close again #but there is so. so much i dont know about him.#and he's my brother. i would do anything for him.#but i will never forget what he did when we were kids and how he treated me.#my dad despises his brother #apparently he did something reeeeeally bad to my dad when they were kids #i dunno he only talks abt it when hes drunk and i hate bein around him when hes drunk #but im so scared that's what me n elliot are gonna be like.#because he always talks abt his future and what he's gonna do when he 'finally gets out of this dump'#but i am gonna miss him so.#so.#much. and i will never fully forgive him for those years.#but i also won't forget the years when we were happy.#when we would play with our stuffed animals together and hide in the cabinets in the nursery and play shadow puppets

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