#if people were like you cant decide stuff as a kid bc ur too fkn retarded and not a human person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

craycraybluejay · 8 months

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I need a few million dollars and therapies and surgeries you've never even heard of and at least 2 college degrees and a magical ptsd-away (give me electroshock therapy PLEASE I don't want to remember any of it) and the motivation to do literally anything other than offing myself or getting high or on an insanely good day actually managing to write something

#im so burnt out #i have been since i was like 12 bruh #i cant keep living like this #something has got to give #i also need to be cis and have people that love me no matter what but neither of those are ever happening #electroshock #tw sui ideation #multi substance use #substance use #vent #i want to slam my head into the wall repeatedly #trans suicide statistics blah blah #have you ever thought about what its actually like to live in a world where people want to exterminate you for existing #and on top of that it costs insane money to feel half okay #and on top of that every other problem affected by it and each other #try living with debilitating chronic pain and extreme dysphoria in a society that hopes you die for both #and then we'll talk #'love your body' says the person who never had to fight their own body to just go out and have an interesting day #'why is it such a big deal to you' how would you feel if your body didnt feel like your own and people in your life chose to reinforce that #if people were like you cant decide stuff as a kid bc ur too fkn retarded and not a human person #and then u cant decide stuff as an adult bc ur too mentally ill and weird and not a human person #and also cant afford it so either way #they can do what they want to ur body without repercussions. but you? you cant do shit.#you have to justify a tiny little piercing or even a change in hair colour to jill jack and jane #do you not want to wring someones throat when they act like your body and life belongs to them #bite maim kill #big red button that says rapture all humanity and remake society as you choose press press press #if i dont deserve the choice and control of my own body if i deserve to have my life stolen from me well then so does everyone else #i believe in equality you see #also that would mean i could build a world where medicine wasnt hell and people were treated like people no matter what

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