#if ppl still check hat tag.... lol

[marsbotz]

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MAKE ME INTO YOUR [living puppet] AND [enslave me] WITH [visions of glory] ?

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Yeah, I was trying to say without saying and being more long-winded than I already was. That there are a lot of men in the Med writer's room. And that was the quickest thing they could do without completely damaging her character. But it was just enough that it would tack on to everything else they already had planned and I refuse to believe the writers and showrunners don't understand how negative storylines will also get a character trashed especially black and other nonblack poc characters. Because there's no way they thought their writing in 5 made sense. From her and Choi openly flirting in the ED for the first time in what 3 seasons. Then her random crush on Marcel, the kiss. Then her not exactly apologizing for it and being sort of callous when she's still working with CM and Ethans offended. And lord Ethan crying to Ms. Goodwin yeah that will really get to the fans, especially the anti-Chexton fans who want to make it clear they're not anti-the actress they're just so ToXiC. While forgetting that Halstead was a total asshat to Natalie in the beginning and they fought and broke up for dumb sxxt too. And all the people still crying over Ava and Rhodes all these years later as if it isn't weird that all Ava did was basically neg Connor and Robin in the beginning. How is that not toxic? And if April is a B like everyone claims then Choi needs to were an asshole hat too.

I search the tags when I can't sleep and the number of fans losing their shit here and on Twitter when April probably has been on the screen for longer than 30 minutes in the 2 episodes we've actually seen her face is insane. Many of them are mad because their fave isn't back, so that's one aspect. The others are laughing because her show was canceled and basically doing everything but calling her u---ty for daring to leave. And swearing that she's only back because of that when there is evidence to the contrary. We can't hold our breath but if the spoilers I've seen aren't OC trolling us with pictures from scrapped storylines, then these haters better prepare to be sick of me. Because I won't rest if Chexton gets the happy ending Brian wanted in 2020.

There are always too many men. That's it that's the thought lol. The way they play in our face like we don't notice is wild.

The more I thougut about it the more I think that they added Marcel because they remembered that April started the show with a fling with Kelly. Which meant that she was capable of that kind of fun hookup. The problem is they didn't do ANYTHING to further that in six seasons. Neither before or after Ethan. And they are capable of it because we've watched Will and Connor bone their way through Chicago. Like a common problem with One Chicago is they forget to write anyone who isn't white a love interest/personal lives. They forget that many fans find them desirable.

Back when they introduced the Marcel/April story and everyone was crying and whining in my f*cking inbox about poor Ethan I wanted to make a meme of Vicki sipping tea because ETHAN CHEATED ON HER WITH APRIL and NEVER came clean. It was just kiss for both of them but you'd think that April murdered his sister the way people act. Or that Ethan wasn't capable of the same. I guess because it was in service to Chexton no one cared. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I truly believe Chexton is going to get a hopeful ending. Yaya is on her way to joining the cast of The Lincoln Lawyer, it's Netflix which is about as bad as Fox so I hope it works out but I think Yaya was interested in giving her character the closure she deserved and Ethan too. I just like knowing April finished her program and works independently. Now she gets love too and folks can die mad about it.

You don't have to like Chexton but folks might wanna check why they are so bitter seeing these two characters happy in a farewell, KNOWING Ethan has grown is... telling.

And yes it's wild that ppl still bitch about Ava and Rhodes and Manst*ad. Those ships were toxic AF. You have to be an Ava apologist to pretend you didn't see how batshit she was the ENTIRE time, people are like "you ruined her" and I'm like, "Are yall okay?!" Natalie was snotty AF to Will and Will was misogynistic AF to Natalie. Everyone hated her and only cared about her in that ship. Mess.

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[chasing-rabbits]

Lol on my old blog I fell Into the edgy anti feminism asshole trap and I deleted it because I realised it was super toxic and the community was fuck boy basement dwellers who I incedentally checked up on some today and they are fucking trump supporters defending those in MAGA hats as if it's not racist as fuck and one girl who had beef with me who I literally didn't speak to after our beef I think I had her blocked to be fair anyways the only reason I decided to check out the old community is because in my tag vegan vixen and such their was an anonymous ask sent to her blog and bringing up my old blog which at the time of the beef was similar to my blog name now this beef was over two years ago and she's like going over the beef basically saying oh I don't want you to publish this or want to start drama but you're so nice and wonderful blah blah and vegans life just seemed so dull lmao as if they can glean my life from the few instances I posted on my old blog like nah and this other girl was on Tumblr 24/7 at the time she would intentionally bait black Tumblr and make them mad then say hey stop shitting on me for being white yet she's making racially charged posts under the black lives matter tag AT the time after the whole shooting that started it all so this was literally a long time ago whilst I was still edgy then she deleted and remade and claimed she was no longer toxic and edgy yet she's dating a guy who makes fun of the mentally ill and goes out looking for arguments this guy has kids and is in his 30s dude get a grip man and now her blog is literally just selfies and arguing with feminists like yeah as if you're not toxic she's literally roasting people often teenagers and minors and letting g her big following roast them too and she's like I don't defend my followers being hateful but then said how they deserve what they get since they had a go at her first it's like damn you're 23 and their like 16 wow Ur so cool and I just found it funny that after like two years she's still so bitter about me that she posted that anon ask saying oh my god give me tea that hot I have to post it like nah mate whatever so fucking glad I'm not an edgy fuck still it's called #selfgrowth fam incidentally I also tried to be that vegan that was nice and then. Near the end of my blog before I deleted it I was more vocal about my veganism and because I no longer said it's your choice I respect that but disagree and was more like well it's your choice but it's immoral and impractical and cruel and said things like you can't love what you eat oh boy that last one got me a tirade of hate anons anyways I had some good friends on there who weren't edgy and such but I deleted because I was an edgy fuck back then and I didn't have my mental Illnesses under control so I got easily angered and impulsive and said rude stuff but at least I fucking g grew as a person this bitch over here still blogging about me and yes I'm aware I'm now blogging about her but like it's just interesting seeing people stuck in this edgy bubble still saying shit like feminism is bs when trump is a sexist and racist pig and piece of shit and you support that like damnnn girl get some self respect and this goes for any trump supporter really or MAGA hat wearer it is one hundred percent racist as fuck and even at prime edginess I never once supported racism and sexism and trump not fucking once haha wow people are so mad also yes my url on this blog is similar to a URL I held on my old blog for a couple days during our beef so eh she will probs see this if she comes looking but honestly fuck the anti sjw community being edgy and racist and nasty to minors stopped being cool a long time ago and just makes you a bully and sure I did that too at times not the racist shit but sure I was anti feminist at one point and a bit edgy but fuck me sideways you're still fucking at it also she's a massive fucking narcissist like bitch bye

Ah and yes I'm now bitching too but I'm not out here supporting trump bitching to minors about feminism being bs or belittling women's issues in the world ! Cos sure men have issues to but doesn't mean we need to shit on women's rights to push up men's rights ! Ugh smh rant over hahaha god some people are too edgy for life man and it's just so funny seeing all these old blogs I semi interacted with and even some agreed with still out here being edgy also a lot are now begging for fucking money through Kofi and PayPal even though they continually Shat on people who had those exact same donate buttons on their blogs oh and she supported the community doxxing me then she deleted her response and then she got an anonymous ask and was like lmao and saying I deserved it basically and then she's like but guys don't doxx ppl Kay lol hypocrisy is rampant in that community they live off of hate and kissing each others asses and it's kinda sad to be honest also a lot of them bait vegans and mock vegans so it's actually surprising I ever got accepted by a small minority of them but then again I was a 'nice' vegan and didn't really blog about veganism too much but meh I regret being that edgy. But it taught me a LOT ya know everyone goes through one form of edginess or another just so happened mine played out on a public platform lol but hey I changed just funny seeing people for like 5 years plus still continue to be that edgy and it's wild

[marimo-stuff]

Tagged by @auro-cyanide​

a - age: 28

b - biggest fear: Probably...um, being too far out in the ocean and not knowing what’s underneath my feet lol Cuz the ocean has some freaky things and I don’t wanna get eaten by a shark y’all. (Even though sharks are super cool, I love them lol) I’m one of those strange people that doesn’t have many rational fears, all my fears are things that probably would never really happen to me...

c - current time: 10:10am

d - drink you last had: pineapple smoothie

e - every day starts with: Waking up and eating breakfast (on work days). Weekends it would probably be just waking up, checking my phone and getting on the computer/couch to relax if i have no real plans for the day. (Hence why I just got out of bed and am now on the comp doing this hahaha)

f - favourite song: Right now it’s probably something by Fall Out Boy or Two Door Cinema club. I don’t often go through favorite song phases, I just like a whole lot of music in general.

g - ghosts, are they real: Hmm, I don’t really believe in them the way most people might believe they exist....idk if that answers the question though.

h - hometown: Adelanto

i - in love with: Aaaah, that’s a hard one for me... lol I’m not all that great when it comes to loving things. Um, but I’ll say my obsession with MP100 has turned into me really, really loving this series. I mean, I love people and things still...it’s just, idk, love is kind of a strange thing for me. xD;;

j - jealous of: I don’t really get jealous too easily, but when I do it’s usually cuz the other person got to do something really cool and I usually just feel happy that the person got to do it rather than being jealous of it. Other things I get jealous of would be different artists’ art styles, but when that happens it also tends to turn into inspiration to try out something new and challenge myself.

k - killed someone: Ok, first of all, if I had, why would I admit it??? That’d proooobably be something you wouldn’t want to share with everyone. LOL But, to answer the question, no. No I have not. lol

l - last time you cried: Oh geeze, I don’t even know when... :< I’m so...emotionless it doesn’t happen often. And when it does, it’s usually cuz I’ve just gotten worked up to the point where I’m just too upset and my eyes start tearing up even though I don’t want them to????

m - middle name: “D”... lol I never give up my middle name, lol only my initial, xD and there are few ppl who know what it actually is and I regret telling them. lol I don’t like my middle name haahha

n - number of siblings: 2, I’m the oldest and my sister is 23 I think? and my brother is 15.

o - one wish: Idk, why I find this one so hard to answer...Can I skip it?...I wish for a lot of simple things in life.

p - person you last called/texted: My mom, lol she wanted to make sure I was gonna go to/watch the church service today since I’m not gonna be up there with them this weekend.

q - questions you’re always asked: I’m asked to do people favors a lot. Other than that I can’t think of many questions i get asked a lot.

r - reasons to smile: Because I’m alive another day. lol??

s - song last sang: I don’t really sing, and if I do, it’s usually when I’m in the car by myself on a long trip home where no one can hear me. HAHAHA

t - time you woke up: Technically 7:30am but I went back to sleep and got up again around 9:45am.

u - underwear colour: LOL Um, let me check???.....white with pink polkadots yo.

v - vacation destination: Ima go to Sweden next month!!! That’ll be the first vacation I’ve ever really taken, besides going to Florida when I was 7. lol

w - worst habit: Probably biting my nails, I shouldn’t do that...

x - x-rays you’ve had: Besides ones at the dentist? I broke my collar bone when I was a kid and had that x-rayed. But other than that it’s only ever been mouth x-rays at the dentist.

y - your favourite food: I love too much food to choose a favorite. How about strawberry shortcake. I love hat stuff so much.

z - zodiac sign: Taurus

I’l tag, @cherazor @edgeyboii @ubersaur @deenigma If you guys wanna do it. If not that’s fine too. :O