chasing-rabbits
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Erin 31 Bi Mentally ill & disabled, sometimes I talk about it. Block erin rambles if you don't want to see it.
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imagine an episode of House but it takes months to learn what any intervention does and none of the doctors are ever in the same room and instead the patient has to set up appointments with each of them in sequence at 5 different hospitals to slowly relay a conversation between all of them and all of them are super busy and don't remember what happened last time
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Also it doesnt elicit criticism it cant when the public perception is so distorted & pervasive that its an uphill struggle to prove its not a bad person disorder my god when the Amber Heard trial was going on I just had to go quiet on certain social media platforms the amount of professionals as well coming out & talking shit about bpd patients and how they refuse to ever treat them and so on. I mean hell I have even been in BPD groups where I've had to argue that bpd doesnt = abusive & it is not in fact a symptom of the disorder just because you've shown shitty toxic behaviours does not mean we all have and it does not mean it is inherent to the BPD diagnosis or criteria itself. If we have to fight our own people on this fact how an earth do we convince the public and how do we convince the public when mental health professionals aren't convinced and when you google for information on a disorder and up pops a bunch of books from someone whose a qualified therapist like legit qualified and its titles like how to get rid of x from your life and other bullshit titles. I've been in book stores independent ones who have had good sections for books on mental health amongst other things & I know in one of them this guy was telling me they dont have any books on BPD not for lack of trying but they had just found it a struggle to find any that weren't stigmatising or harmful & were actually helpful & informative. Which is the saddest thing ever but not surprising. I imagine people with ASPD & I know especially people with NPD will have had very much the same experiences as I have had with my BPD. It's just so sad & so disappointing that we are failed at every level and with BPD theres a larger debate to be had surrounding why so many women with Autism seem to be misdiagnosed with bpd and why women in general seem to be misdiagnosed with bpd or just rushed that label hence my comment about some handing it out like a wastebasket diagnosis so it can be used as a reason to deny treatment & openly & brazenly treat you like shit, and yes this is coming from someone not misdiagnosed but I had an AMAZING psychiatrist when I first got referred to my CMHT sadly he retired and I got a very very bad experience with the rest of the psych and managerial staff at the CMHT & I know I was not alone in this poor experience but anyways safe to say yes they used my BPD dx in a slew of ways to mistreat me & put me in harmful situations even denying my Dr who tried to refer me back to them. Anyways I could go on about this for a lot longer but I am aware this is my second reply to this post and its getting rather long but god am I mad about the treatment of people with BPD, how I was treated & how the public views us.
On the question of ASPD and NPD I honestly wish the debate would be less about "you can have Bad Person Disorder without being a Bad Person actually" (true) and more so "why is there a Bad Person Disorder and what political purpose does it serve". Like the fact that we are literally and officially diagnosing people as Inherently Badโข๏ธ, usually due to trauma reactions, and treating them accordingly should elicit a lot more criticism than it does
#erin talks#erin rambles#bpd#borderline personality disorder#mental health stigma#personality disorders
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I think any personality disorder suggests to the person diagnosed that there is something inherently wrong with them, whether or not that disorder is associated as bad person disorder or not. Also from someone with BPD which is also often seen as bad person disorder to the point I see many people arm chair diagnosing their abusers as having BPD for the mere fact that they are abusive. I have other dxs but BPD is the only one that at one point made me feel like there was something wrong in who I was as a person that the way I felt was so intertwined with who I was that there was no degree of separation that existed unlike my Bipolar and other disorders. I would describe it as Bipolar is something that happened to me, there's a clear distinction between me & my Bipolar. Bipolar has had a massive impact on my life, on my development as a person and has absolutely guided me in large life decisions and it has to a degree had an impact on my hobbies likes interests things that do make up who I am. But at the same time I can still to a degree separate out the Bipolar from me. That is to say I wouldnt be who I am today without my Bipolar its not to deny its large impacts on my life overall BUT yet there is still a degree of separation that I dont feel with my BPD. Those things happened because of my Bipolar but I don't feel it's so fundamental that I would cease to exist without it. I once saw an article I say article but it was written up by a researcher or something iirc that talked about viewing BPD from a similar lens as autism. And honestly this helped changed my whole perspective & it just fit it lined up so many things & made so much sense & clarity BUT not in a bad light. It no longer made me feel like there was something inherently wrong with me but it didn't try to deny that BPD is as much a part of me as Autism is to an Autistic person. It is not the same as Bipolar & whilst its not entirely the same as Autism it definitely felt closer than how my other dxs were viewed & defined. There's no way to reconcile that it isn't an inherent part of me so constantly being told BPD makes me horrible makes me feel like I am horrible to the core and there's no hope unlike w/ Bipolar or any other disorder with degrees of separation. And to be clear I wasnt even a horrible person but then we get back to the original point of peoples stigmatising views & lack of true understanding of disorders like BPD. Many people now view BPD as a trauma response/trauma based disorder & overwhelming evidence supports that with just over 2/3rds of us reporting childhood abuse/trauma/neglect. I also have a CPTSD dx & some want to see BPD as CPTSD & that bpd shouldnt exist at all. I see a clear difference in the disorders & like most want to see BPD reclassified as a trauma disorder but also believe that PD as a label is harmful for the same reasons OP has pointed out above. I'm not an abuser I have experienced childhood trauma/abuse & yet I am given no grace as a person whose experienced abuse but yet re traumatised by a system that throws ppl like me away & treated as if I am all things I experienced myself. I dont think these illnesses should necessarily disappear from existence for BPD specifically I dont want the disorder to be wiped as I do have what we call BPD but I want it to be reclassified based upon new emerging evidence & seen for what it is & treated accordingly. The diagnosis and the labelling of it is flawed but the symptoms are very real. It's become seen as a bad person disorder & idk if it was always seen as a bad person disorder but it is now & BPD is one of the most stigmatised disorders w/in the MH systems itself. Its a label that essentially gets you blacklisted, its a free pass to deny us treatment & get away w/ it. It's a wastebasket dx for some psychs. It's a tool of harm for others & then there are good ones who dx you bcos u have it but are unfortunately putting you into a box that puts you at risk but you need a dx to access treatment so its a lose lose.
On the question of ASPD and NPD I honestly wish the debate would be less about "you can have Bad Person Disorder without being a Bad Person actually" (true) and more so "why is there a Bad Person Disorder and what political purpose does it serve". Like the fact that we are literally and officially diagnosing people as Inherently Badโข๏ธ, usually due to trauma reactions, and treating them accordingly should elicit a lot more criticism than it does
#erin talks#erin rambles#bpd#borderline personality disorder#mental health stigma#personality disorders
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fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk
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instagram | photos are my own, reblogs fine, do not repost/reuse
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