#if shes not lillith we are all clowns but oh well!

[dyke-in-crisis]

so glad to see I‘m not alone on this

[puerile-jewles]

Kitchen Outlaw

Kavin goes to “help” cook with DeVante, things don’t end so well.

Written: Sunday, July 18th, 2021

Setting: Lilliths house, early May 2021, COVID does not apply.

—

It was quite apparent that DeVante was a good cook. No, not good, fantastic. Everytime he stepped into the kitchen he created a cascade of auromas so pleasurable one could cry. In fact, a drunken Angela did once cry. He had learnt his skills from his tía, a wonderful woman she was. Everytime the group would smell the incredible scent of the food DeVante crafted, they'd thank the godly woman above. Oh, how would they have survived had she not taught him? Would they have to live off Kavins candy stash forever? One dare not think it, the possibility was unbearable. In fact, if they had pissed off DeVante too much-- what would they do? Unfortunately, his tía wasn't around anymore. Maybe they would have to harness her cooking power with a great ritual to the sky. Yes- that's it. Or, they could simply respect DeVantes work and leave him to cook by himself… No. That's not happening.

Kavin was well renowned for causing trouble. Sure, he had his fair share of serious moments but all and all he was basically their personal clown. He didn't mind, though. He quite enjoyed watching his friends laugh till their ribs gave out because of him. Of course DeVantes cooking hours were no exception. So, on this beautiful May night, it was time for him to cause trouble

--

DeVante stood by the stove, meticulously stirring a pot of what looked to be a sauce of some sort. He mumbled along to whatever song was playing in his earbuds. Kavin, crouching, watched from the doorway directly behind him that led into the living room.

Behind him, Lilith, Angela, and Kellie were currently trash talking their local school officer. The reason being was he had stopped a fight between two people they didn't particularly like. Everyone had been rather disappointed they didn't get to watch the show. Kavin was uninterested though, he had other plans.

Slowly rising to his feet, Kavin smiled wickedly. He padded over beside DeVante and plucked his earbud out of his year.

“Kavin what the fuc-”

“‘Vante, you need help?” Kavin asked, his tone overly sweet, almost implicating he was in fact not planning to help.

“No.” DeVante replied very sternly.

“No, No, No, I think you do!” Kavin insisted.

“Kavin please,” DeVante began as he took his earbud out his other ear, “I do not need any help.”

Kavin walked over the fridge and opened it, he searched intently. DeVante continued to insist he didn't need help behind him.

“Kavin, stop. Get out now.” he grumbled. Kavin hummed in reply, and grabbed an empty pickle jar from the top shelf.

“I think we need some pickle juice.” Kavin stated. DeVante’s face immediately turned into one of hostility. He wouldn't… No… He would!

“Kavin, no!” DeVante shouted, sounding as if he was scolding a dog.

“Kavin yes.” The taller boy replied, walking over with the pickle jar in his hand.

Grabbing his spoon, DeVante took a strategic position. It was a sort of fight stance, except he would need some major form reform. He pointed at him with the spoon hostility. Kavin opened the jar and walked over, laughing. By this time, he'd captured the attention of his friends in the living room who were now gathered watching.

“Pickle time!” Kavin exclaimed, his grin wide and his giggles loud. DeVante immediately screamed out and began wacking at him with his spoon, all while shouting about his cooking. Kavin laughed wildey.

“Come on! Pickles don't hurt anyone!” Kavin laughed as he attempted to get the jar closer to the pot. He was failing. DeVante was completely blocking the pot and still slapping him with the spoon. On his hip, cheek, and arms, he was covered with leftover sauce. Kavin, however, was completely unphased. At the doorway, their friends laughed wildly.

“Get away from my pot you fucking hooligan!” DeVante shouted, attempting to grab the pickle jar.

“Hooligan?! What are you, 70?” Kavin replied, leaning his arm back to create distance between DeVante and the pickle jar.

“70x better at cooking than you!” DeVante retorted.

It was then that DeVante stopped caring about preserving the pickle jar. Dropping his spoon on the counter, DeVante then proceeded to grab Kavins arm and twist it so violently the pickle jar dropped. Crash! Glass and pickle juice spread all over the floor.

“Oh shit!” Kavin exclaimed as he jumped back to avoid the splash. He failed.

“What the fuck!” Lillith yelled, now staring at her glass covered floor. She quickly walked over to gawk at the mess. Kavin and DeVante both looked up to make eye contact, practically telepathically communicating about the fact that they messed up. Slowly, Lilith looked up too. She sighed, pinching the skin in between her eyes on her nose bridge. Then, to everyone's surprise, she started laughing. Kavin quickly untensed.

“You guys are fucking idiots!” she said, chuckling. Everyone else soon joined in, including DeVante.

“Sorry Lillith.” DeVante apologized, she shook her head as she wiped her tears that had formed from laughing.

“It's all good. Kavin, clean this up please.” She replied. Kavin smiled and nodded, walking out the room to grab paper towel, a dust pan, and a broom.

DeVante picked up his spoon and carefully avoided the remnants of the pickle jar as he continued on with his task.

Lilith followed Kavin out of the kitchen to the walk-in closet down the hall. She called his name and he quickly turned around, sauce still splattered on him as well as some pickle juice on his socks. She observed the scene and laughed a little more.

“You’re outlawed from the kitchen once you're done cleaning.” She stated. Kavin gasped, loudly. So loud it caused Kellie and Angela to turn their heads even though they were two rooms away.

“I’m a kitchen outlaw?!” He yelled with an exclamatory voice. Everyone laughed once more.

--

Carefully, Kavin mopped up some of the vinegar scented pickle juice with a paper towel. Then, he picked up some of the larger glass shards by hand and placed them into the old walmart bag next to him. As he got up to sweep, he leaned over to DeVante and whispered.

“How about some eggs then?”

They quietly giggled once more then resumed their tasks.