#if someone ever flirts w me like that imma die

[sapphyc-s]

That shit got me smiling kicking my feet for real

[jinkicake]

Sigh, back at it again😔 okay so hear me out; my fav thing is to like subvert popular fandom tropes bc everyone is wrong and I’m right. Like no Venti isn’t your uwu little blushy bottom boy he’s a god who can and will fuck you in his church on the altar and nobody will stop him🥰 so the chaotic switch Venti has grabbed me by the neck and will it let go and I’m just imagining everyone else, back to my (toxic) ex boyfriend Xiao propaganda I imagine like in your head your like “ lmao this man has not had ass in like 4 centuries imma Rock his world” and like 20 mins in you have to tap out and ask for a water beak and he’s like 🙄 is that all? Like you gotta train like your training for a marathon to fuck Xiao like even when he’s not all rough and animalistic, he’s just attacking all your weak spots at once, truly feel like he could have you suck his dick while he does like paperwork (in a modern Au) and he wouldn’t flinch like he has the best poker face ever so you gotta throw him off his rhythm 👀 itto I actually hc as bad at sex and it’s funny asf bc someone made like a tweet about it that and I’m like??? Your absolutely right!! He cums so quick but bc oni blood he can do it as many times until your satisfied and he tries rly hard to please you so it’s fun to tease him and his dick is huge so by default he’s already better than most, only time I will allow him to destroy someone’s insides is when he’s in heat and can’t think straight, gorou my beloved; he’s a whole war general like he’s killed people and seen his friends die same as kazuha there’s no way this man don’t know about sex.. HES A DOG! Like he in my eyes is a switch leaning bottom bc hehe funny god man have sensitive ears but if you tease him too much he will have to put you in your place, starts talking all sharp and serious likes he giving orders to his recruits and it’s a lil scary, and next to him kazuha , idk what I want from him exactly bc I do like mr steal yo girl I can make you cum without even using more than 2 fingers but also would like to tie him op🤔 he to me feels like a bag of tricks like he’s always a surprise, like he seems like a calm quiet poetry boy but he’s literally so unhinged like in the last summer event w everyone he body slams a delusional man to get him to come to his senses and every one is like😰 and done even get me started in his mirage,,,,, yeah that is not a good boy for even when we meet him in the quest he such a little shit!! “ you fight well” and telling the dude who stole the dead vision that he was gunna break his fingers???? Even paimon was like?? Ayo why we going so fucking fast??😭 he just be saying shit to throw people off!! Like him and Beido always got this “ flirting but not really but we have a secret that we can’t tell you but we gon talk about you infront of you” vibe going on like the way they speak?? Yeah I would not be surprised if you ended up in some back room on the ship at night w both of them bc they always scheming 😒 albedo my beloved melanin challenged man💕 he’s just like his twin so I feel like whole he wants to act all soft and romantic he will get scary if you test him or if he gets stressed enough, def the type to hit sore spots when you argue that’s like okay see I wanted to fuck you bc your hot when mad but imma punch you now🔪 definitely does everything w passion and romancing in mind. Would not be surprised in the slightest if he read books on flirting like noelle did in her hangout thing💀 mf is in that lab watching romcoms!! When I frost got into the game I was like he is never beating the weirdo allegations bc I always see him and trying to do some kind of experiment on someone like??? You can literally ask me like lmao I’m down you don’t gotta be sneaky unless it’s crazy

no, i agree that everything you say is right, nothing can prove that wrong!!!!!

but yes.... people always soften venti and it's like,,,,, come on.... come on!!! are we talking about the same venti? it's all a front he puts on to fool and distract everyone! i know he is crazy!!!! (.... i like crazy and reckless venti, hes the fucking free archon like?!)

AND I NEED YOU TO SPEAK LOUDER ON XIAO BECAUSE EXACTLY, EXACTLY. He's sometimes written as someone who doesn't know shit about pleasing a bitch and it's like LOOK AT HIM... LOOK AT HIM!!! Xiao knows exactly what to do and he can go for DAYS while doing it.... my heart is racing just thinking about it!!! I love toxic ex bf xiao!

itto is a himbo (that is my one cliche trope idc idc) so yes he cums in two seconds but can go for hours on end... I agree i agree!!! speaking of gorou,,, i love a good itto gorou ship,,, there i said it!

also yes kazuha would be insane bc it's always the quiet ones that surpise you the most!! the mention of beidou and kazuha just reminded me of how i literally ship anyone w everyone like itto sara the whole enemies to lovers is fun and theyre hot together- i could ship xiao w a fucking rock if i thought they were fun together omg

albedo.... i could do a thinkpiece on him truly- i just love the quiet psychos!!!! not that he's really a psycho but he could be! like his unleashed power that's supposed to destroy ****** ,,, wow..... just wow! but about his experiments.... i wouldnt hate them HAH YEAH I would read some good yandere albedo performing experiments on the reader..... it sounds fUN

[stardustintheabyss]

Headcanon kuroo x nekoma fem!manager reader

Kuroo thinks he's smooth. That is until you catch his eye

Warnings: swearing, pining?, kuroo being kuroo but in awkward

• We all know Kuroo is a relentless flirt/tease and is really fucking good at it. He won't lead someone on though. We stan a respectful and responsible king when it comes to the matters of the heart.

• That is until this boy catches the fEeLiNgS. BOOM he shy bb now. He still tries to flirt but comes off awkward af.

• So when y'all are at the summer training camp, seeing how sweet and tentative you are to everyone. He realized he caught the fEeLiNgS. And boy he was just like -oop imma simp now😍

• You stay at the practice after practice to help the guys(do they ever stop). Your a night owl and what else is there to do and you are a good manager dammit. Got nothing to do w/your crush on the nekoma captian ok? K.

• So there you are throwing balls for kenma to set and poor bb kuroo thinks he gonna be all flirty and compliment you. hahaha no

• He tried. He really did.

• "Y/n, you handle balls pretty well." Yeah he heard it. He cringed, you cringed, everyone cringed.

• F

• The ball literally hit Bokuto in the side of the head. Hey hey h-wat

• Kenma is just whatever. This boy KNOWS what's been going on.

• Tsukishima lips twitch trying to hold in a smirk

• Akaashi just face palms

• You being the sweet queen you are, "Um, thanks?" Everyone but oblivious kuroo notices the blush dusting your cheeks. 👀😳

• Practice resumes, slightly awkward

• After saying night to the guys you left and kuroos torment began. Well from Bokuto. Boy has zero chill.

• "YOU LIKE Y/N! My dude that was...somethin." hes wheezing.

• "What! No. Shut up! I hate it here."

• "Broski, the more you like a girl the awkwarder you are with your flirting and that was *makes crashing noises*" He is more perceptive than people give him credit for.

• Ever the dramatic, he slings his arm over his face. "I'm so fucked."

• Over the next couple days you notice kuroo has been avoiding you as much a captain/manager relationship can be avoided.

• Honestly ngl you miss his teasing and flirtatious ways

• So who better to ask what's up with him than his besties

• Kenma being a good friend comes up w a plausible excuse

• Bokuto? Ahaha can't keep a secret to save his life the little shit, here's the tea sis.

• "Wait, he likes me too? I-I mean what?" Nice save

• Kenma goes back to playing his game. He knows all this. Boy has spiderman level senses.

• Bokuto"You like him too?" Ok mayhaps not that perceptive

• This is your chance to get back at all the teasing and flirting. This is your turn to fluster him for once, the King of Flirt, Master of Tease.

• "I have an...idea." You say with a mischievous glint in your eyes and a sly grin

• Messing w/ kuroo? Bokuto is here for it.

• Next day kuroos sitting on the bench after a practice game drinking some water. Chilling with Bokuto.

• "Hey Kuroo, I see you Volleyball guys have a lot of stamina, do you need help testing yours?" You say innocently enough. 😈 hellooo Queen of Flirt, Mistress of Tease.

• Poor boy chokes on his water

• Bokutos tryin reeeaal hard to keep it together. He does. Barely.

• You pat his back until he quits coughing"Kuroo babe, I can't let you die on me before we go on a date."

• With a wink you leave this guy a sputtering blushy mess. "Um what just happened?"

• Bokutos just "idk what your talking about???"

• Your flirting gets a little ahem dirtier forward at the night practice

• At this point everyone knows what's going on. In fact they encourage you, they think it's about time he gets a little payback. Some even give you ideas

• Kuroo hits a serve with a nice thwack

• "Damn kuroo, I have something else that hand can smack." Your not even lying.

• You broke him. Whoops

• Everyone continues as if nothing happened. They all dying of laughter inside tho

• Your mans is still malfunctioning and promptly takes bokutos serve to his face

• You run over to him. Teasing forgotten. Gently brushing your fingers over the giant red mark on his face. "Are you okay?"

• y/n is toUCHING MY FACE. SO CLOSE, SHE SMELLS LIKE Y/F/S Bb is freaking OUT

• All he can manage is a nod

• You decide hes okay enough for some teasing "I could kiss it to make it feel better, yeah?"

• Even Bokuto is like damn gurl. Can you give this man a sec for his brain to recover from that last come on?

• What comes out of kuroos mouth next shocks all of you

• He breathes out a yes. Took all this mans courage to do so 😭

• You were hoping for that. Time for the shock and awe.

• You stand on your toes, hands on his shoulders. You move towards his cheek. At the last second you move one hand to the back of his neck twisting your fingers in his hair and press your lips to his.

• The moment your lips touched this boy got his mojo back. He grips your waist and pulls you closer, swiping his tongue across your lips asking for an invitation to a deeper kiss

• You give it to him. This boy can kiss. Your heart is pounding, stomach doing flips. Fireworks dance across your body. The world faded away. There was only you and him.

• That is until you hear overwhelming cheers from Bokuto. Way to ruin the moment thanks bro

• Kenma rolls his eyes. About damn time.

• Akaashi *proud dad noises*

• Tsukishima could not care less tbh

• Kuroo pulls back and rests his forehead on yours. "I could've saved face if I knew taking a ball to it was all it took, I would have made it happen a while ago."

• You cheekily smile up at him, "Naw, your too good at handling balls."

• "You wound me. I'm never gonna live that down am I?"

• You peck him on the lips. "Never"

• You two flirt/tease all the goddamn time now(can you two eve hold a normal/serious convo?)trying to see who can fluster who the most. The guys root for you ofc Kuroo: wth. I'm your captain?? Everyone: that is exactly why. Plus we love y/n more. Kuroo: that hurted

• The entire team finds it disgusting adorable.

[tsurvivorbelize]

S88E1: “Her Name Is Actually Emily” - Kyle

The premiere of Tumblr Survivor 88: Belize takes 18 new castaways to the heart of the jungle and start their journey to become the newest Sole Survivor.

This episode covers DAYS 1 & 2. 

Honestly? I’m kinda loving this game. Everyone on my tribe seems really cool, and we’re seemingly working together well. Normally I enjoy some drama and getting my hands dirty a bit early on but based on first impressions with this tribe? I don’t think I’d mind if we all got our to merge- then again it’s just day 1, by day 10 I’ll probably be begging for a swap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efa-NmW_vnQ&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/RR37pTsKF-w

I'm already getting shady and good vibes .I'm worried already but I hope things can get better

I’m super excited, idk how I feel about my tribe...idk I feel like not many people I will connect with but imma have to fake it until I make it

So I just spent the past few hours talking to everyone on the tribe and nearly forgot we had a challenge 🤷‍♂️. So yeah, I don’t think anyone is going to peg me as the brains of any operation, and I’m starting to think maybe I need to be assigned the “Very easy” puzzle. That’s not because I forgot we had a challenge though, that’s just because I’m stupid.

So at this point there is 3 people in my tribe who already know each other! At this the 3 left in the tribe could join forces and force a tie, which I find very risky at this point, or we could just suck those 3 ass and try to be in the majority alliance with them.

Good afternoon (although the time right now is 7am in Belize so I guess good morning) from the lovely Minanha tribe, and holy shit. I know Survivors are based around luck, but lucking out on having two guys I've known for about 5-6 years on my tribe as immediate easy allies is fantastic. Spike, I met through Minecraft UHCs years ago, where I teamed with him in one of my first games and it was great, and Adam I met through an SMP server run by somebody you guys may all know, Bodhi/Goldcap, and then I basically introduced Adam to a bunch of my other friend groups. Through this, there's a beautiful time to be had for this tribe and I'm just infinitely hoping that Adam and Spike don't stab me in the spine.

Hey so first day or 2 in tribe has been good, I like everyone! It helps I know Katy and Spike but also like I don't want that to put a target on our backs, and it'd be unfair to just work with those I already know, I will do but if needed I can be ruthless. Hopefully we win this challenge and then see what happens, if it goes to tribal well, that's when it gets interesting.

Spike and Axe have both accidentally said racial slurs without realising they'd said racial slurs because they'd never heard of them before and they made them both by just combining my name with Spike's name. Oh no. This tribe is fucked and we're all gonna die.

https://youtu.be/xUvO_y05KNQ

MY FRIENDS ARE FIGHTING ABOUT BRIE LARSON NOOOOOOOOOO.

https://youtu.be/HlsfD_JvUrs

When the hosts make a comment about adding hosts to alliance chats, and you then assume it means that alliances have sprouted.......then you realize you had three people ask you to work together, but alliances typically consist of 3 or more people and include a chat with those people......... Then you realize that means the probability of people disliking you is high and you’ve solidified your first boot status 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay so my tribe is a pretty decent I guess. Brien Weber isnt the kind of girl I like to be honest. He betrayed me and I voted him out my last org so this should be fun! Emily talks like a robot too btw? My closest ally is definitely Kyle. We have a lot in common and he thinks i'm cute so it's easy to flirt with him to get on my side. Taylor and Scott arent bad either. I'm building my relationship to them- maybe they could potentially turn into future allies for me :)

I think im gonna vote matt cause he doesn't talk much

https://youtu.be/VIheM4S1IHw

- I can’t believe I looked at Cas’ photo and thought he was an old white woman....my bad

- Aaron is really starting to turn me off. He’s acting crazy about voting off David. I mean I’m finna do it so I’m not a target but I got my eye on him.

https://youtu.be/1qEEEchOOqM

- So a few of my friends decided to take a trek into these temples and came back out with punishments and disappointment. However my lucky self came out with a no vote pass to give away to someone else. So if someone gets testy and decides to be shady as shit, then I'll gladly revoke their voting privileges! :D

- I really like my tribe. I'm getting really close with some people too! Like Jarret, he's like my best friend in the game right now and always makes me laugh. Then  Brien is my drinking buddy, Olivia, I mean Emily is my fellow Michigander, Taylor is my comedy bud, and Scott is my strategy co-conspirator.

- Okay, I keep telling everyone I'm not tired, but I'm fucking tired. Being social is exhausting. I should let everyone hate me and not give a shit if I'm honest.

https://youtu.be/TWCyhqBxyG8

https://youtu.be/gWjLMsOGjvs

- So, as luck would have it, I'm the only person on my tribe who got 3 points from that puzzle challenge, but even that was real close against Brien from No Vaxx or whatever that tribe is called. I wasn't sure what kind of scores to expect from anybody in this game, as I'm used to people who tryhard the fuck out of challenges rather than just submit a semi-good score, and honestly... these scores still don't tell me much whatsoever. Probably just that I shouldn't underestimate the girl who can do a puzzle in 10 seconds.

-  Veni, who is my host chat friend I've invited in, has raised a hilarious point as well. In every Survivor I've ever played, whether Minecraft or Discord or Twitter, I've never been perceived as a challenge threat before. The closest I ever got was when I stayed awake for 40 hours to win immunity at merge. But with my score here, and being the only person to get 3 points on my tribe... what if I finally, after being shit in other Survivor challenges for years, end up being a challenge threat? Crikey crikey.

https://youtu.be/wWNdip6Vxpc

-  Skype's auto-responses make me wanna end it.

-  My previous 2 or so confessionals have been submitted as Day 2, I apologise profusely, but anyway... I wanna take a confessional to comment on the guys in the tribe I don't know from outside the game. Christian, Pietro & Gevonte. I've only just managed to speak to Gevonte today, she's been very much busy and inactive but hey, she's here now and very fun to speak to. We've spoken a fair bit about the differences between FB & Discord Survivors, since neither of us have played Tumblr Survivors before (I think???), and with her inactivity I thought she was a sure fire easy first boot for the tribe, but now I'm not so sure. Pietro is a darling as well, and seems to be pretty much the exact same as a mutual me, Axe, Spike & Veni all have called Kaz, who's also from Brazil. Speaks very much the same as Pietro does, they both have the same mannerisms and same level of likeability and ease to speak to, and I think Pietro is a fun ally as well. And then there's Christian. Don't get me wrong, Christian is also very pleasant, very kind and clearly a lovely person to interact with, but when I compare them to my interactions for the first time with Gevonte or Pietro, they're much more... I guess the optimal word would be awkward to speak to. Maybe they're just not good with new people, maybe it's me and my Asperger's being weird, or maybe there's just not good chemistry between us, but I do value Christian, but at this point, based off nothing else because there's nothing else to base it off, I'd choose Christian as the tribe's goat, and the tribe's easy boot moving forward. Then again, I could just back stab Spike ^w^

I’m very concerned for Olivia. Everyone has now been in the talks of alliances, and her name is the only one that hasn’t been mentioned, and that’s not even because her name is actually Emily. They just haven’t brought her up. She’s such a sweetie though, so I really hope she gets some free time to do some more talking.

-  Okay let’s chat. My tribe...pretty lame. David is basically inactive. Cas has the personality of cardboard so far. Jay is actually cool. AARON IS THE MOST. He’s constantly sending me voice messages which idk why it irritates me but it does. Just message me dude. And he is so paranoid! He thinks everybody is always trying to cheat. Idk...where I come people play for fun and don’t aggressively cheat or maybe that’s just me. He’s pressed about not being able to talk cross tribal (dumb). AND he aggressively wants David out because he’s worried since David knows Madison he might log on to her phone or she might leak info to help him cheat. Boy bye. I’m not going to do anything about him yet because the beauty of being in a new community is I can play dumb like idk what I’m doing and I’m really trying to capitalize and act wholesome. Yikes when the confessional comes out 😅. But oh well. I’m just going to let Aaron explain how to play to me and coast through until I can reach Gevonte who will be my for real ride or die.

-  Madison is pretty.

Tumblr Survivor: Belize, condragulations, you are the winner.

So it's been almost a full round and.... I'm only JUST now talking to most of my tribe lmfaoo. Skype is so weird. Just it being on a different platform makes socializing weird for me. Because I have to remember skype exists. On top of that, everyone else on the tribe seems not all that talkative in and of itself. Granted I know I wasnt tosking all that much either, but since we're safe I need to spend the next few days making connections or else I'm just gonna be another nameless flop. And I've done TOO much of that on FB as it is!

Day 2 and everyone has gone mad already, talking about drag queens and other pop culture stuff.

https://youtu.be/uYl2b48z5GA

https://youtu.be/da7YR2Uz08A

Why does Christian keep asking me about my toilet?