#if you look jealousy up in the dictionary dans reaction here is what you find

[lesbiphannie]

loling thinking about sam the surfer on this fine evening

[adventuresinawonderland]

Chloe’s Vulnerability & Emotional Journey

(In Defense of Chloe Decker Part 2)

So it’s official, Chloe & Cain are dating, or have been for a wk or 2. For clarity’s sake I’m not counting the Axara concert as a “date”. Nor the alluded to “dinner date” at the end of 3x18. As far as what’s been shown on screen, they’ve only been on one date. And things seem to be moving along quite normally for these two. Or as normal as can be when Chloe is using the relationship to mask her unresolved feelings for Lucifer. While Cain sees & exploits her emotional vulnerability & uses it as a means to an end.

Same Amenadiel, same... I know, it’s A LOT to take in. But don’t worry we can get through this. Just a forewarning, things may get salty. I’m just as protective of Chloe, as I am of Lucifer. And there have been things said about her that have really grinded my gears. The Mama Bear claws are out & sharpened. Our favorite detective has been through so much this past year & it’s about time we talk about it. Let’s dig in...

Since “Orange Is The New Maze” has been released, & even a bit before that, I’ve seen the term ‘OOC’ thrown around. Especially concerning Chloe Decker & a certain relationship she’s found herself in. People shouting into the void: “WHY IS SHE WITH HIM, DOESN’T SHE SEE HE’S TERRIBLE!?! FUCKING OOC!”  “THE WRITERS HAVE CHANGED HER JUST SO SHE COULD FIT INTO THIS LOVE TRIANGLE! UGHHH OOC BS! (these aren’t actual quotes from fans, but you get the gist)

Let’s start with the term ‘OOC’. According to Urban Dictionary aka the most reliable source of information next to Wikipedia... 

It’s an acronym that stands for "Out of Character"’; which is frequently used in one of two situations. Two situations that I’m fairly well versed in. As I’m sure most of you are too.

in role-playing, indicating that a person is making a comment, suggestion, etc., that isn't coming from the character but from the person him- or herself or their-self.

in fanfiction, signaling that the way the author chose to portray the characters (or perhaps unintentionally portrayed them) may not be consistent with how the characters act, think, or speak in the original work on which the fanfiction is based. 

Now I’m not saying it’s IMPOSSIBLE for writers to loose sense of a character’s personality, morals etc. on a tv show. Believe me I’ve seen it happen, & have the emotional scars & frustrations to prove it. Thankfully this show has had the rare luck of having the same writers for the vast majority of it’s run. Something that’s largely unheard of. With that in mind, we can assume that most, if not all the writers have a good grasp on who Chloe (& the others) are at their core. 

Also Chloe isn’t the main focus; Lucifer is. I mean his name is in the title ;). Not to mention all the other characters the writers have to cultivate & give as equal screen time as possible. Meaning her journey isn’t always going to be at the forefront; which can be frustrating at times. There have been hints at the inner struggle going on in Chloe. It’s subtle, but it’s there if you’re willing to look for it.

One of the similarities between Chloe & Lucifer is they keep their hearts heavily guarded. They’ve been hurt in the past, & those events have shaped them into the characters they are today. Another similarity between them is their tendency to keep their inner turmoil locked up. Putting on a smile & pretending like nothing is wrong. 

“I love making you believe, What you get is what you see. But I’m so fake happy, I feel so fake happy. And I bet everybody here, Is just as insincere.  Fake Happy, Paramore

“I can let my guard down with you. I don’t do that with anyone else. You make me vulnerable; & maybe that’s ok.” - (Chloe/1x11) Thus one of the tethers that bonded these two characters was formed. Now how they both deal with this vulnerability is what’s really interesting. Lucifer, we can all agree, has a flair for the dramatic. Mostly stemmed from the fact that he’s never had to deal with these kinds of emotions while ruling Hell. Jealousy, fear, love... these are all brand new to him; & his reactions to them are powerful. Chloe, of course being human, is used to feeling these emotions. For her it’s just another part of life. Her reactions to things that hurt her are going to be subtle. There have only been a handful of times where Chloe let what she was feeling on the inside out; ‘My Little Monkey’ being a prime example.

Our detective was introduced in the pilot as a ‘by the book’ cop. She keeps her feelings close to her chest; & only when provoked do we see her roar. In fact the only time I’ve seen a break from this is during her interactions w/ Cain. From day one he placed Chloe at the bottom of the totem pole. All she did was politely introduce herself & in the next breath he was lessening her importance. As I’ve stated in previous posts this immediately causes there to be an imbalance in their relationship. Them being together hasn’t changed that; if anything it’s made it worse. Do you have a pin handy... well it’s time to break it out. We’ll get back to ‘Carcus’ in a bit; for right now it’s all about Chloe.

Remember that old saying I referenced in my post about 3x18; “Can’t see the forest for the trees” Boy do I love a good callback. In this situation “the trees” is Chloe’s relationship with Cain & “the forest” is her emotional struggle that has led her to this point. Now it’s time I say we shed some light on it.

Chloe Jane Decker is hardworking & put’s her all into every case that comes her way. The people she cares about always come first, & she’ll gladly suffer in silence to make sure none of them feel any pain. Chloe is a strong, multi dimensional character that has been an absolute joy to see on screen. She has been portrayed beautifully by Lauren German, who deserves all the praise in the world. All of this shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of you.

I feel it’s safe to assume that Chloe has never “made the first move”. She’s more of a slow & steady kind of woman. The only ex we know of is Dan; & I’d classify him as the ‘safe option’. It was easy for Chloe to warm up to him, date him, & the rest is history. Which is why it’s shocking to her when she realizes that she’s developed feelings for a person like Lucifer. He’s spontaneous, outspoken, loves to be the center of attention; everything she’s not. Made even more shocking when she starts to believe that Lucifer may have feelings for her as well. Feelings she tries to deny repeatedly, especially in 2x11. Claiming they didn’t have a moment, they’re too different, etc. I personally love these instances with Chloe; I refer to them as her ‘thinking out loud’ moments aka ‘me everyday of my life’. The things she’s voicing aren’t for anyone’s benefit, but her own. It’s like Chloe’s trying to rationalize her emotions. ‘Maybe if I say out loud that Lucifer & I wouldn’t work, then maybe it’ll be true.’ 

^^^Sorry not sorry This tactic of course is futile, as shown by the surprise smooch she lays on our devil. Not ONCE but TWICE!! Chloe made the first move; she put herself out there. That’s a big deal. From day one Lucifer has been very heavy handed w/ the sexual innuendos. Going so far as to try & sleep with her in 1x04. But in the end he thinks better of it as he becomes more aware of Chloe’s boundaries. The only other time Chloe’s made a move was when she arrived wasted at Lucifer’s penthouse at the end of 1x10. To which Lucifer refused her advances immediately. Because the devil is, if anything, a gentleman; also consent. When Chloe kisses Lucifer; she’s at her most vulnerable. She’s letting him in in a way she hasn’t before. Letting him know that she believes him to be more than worthy of her; no matter what he believes his flaws to be.

As I’ve stated, Chloe feels it’s her duty to shoulder the pain that everyone around her is feeling above her own. A trait I’m sure is the product of loosing her father at such a young age. She has to be strong; for her mom, her daughter, everyone. While at the same time pushing everything that’s effecting her to the back burner; 2x07 being a perfect example. I lost count of the amount of times Chloe looked like she was ready to collapse in a pool of tears. But she didn’t, she had to be an unbreakable force of nature. It’s only during the final scene with Lucifer that she finally lets herself go. You can see the thoughts playing out on Chloe’s face the second before she rushes into his arms. She’s at war with her emotions. Until finally she exclaims “Oh just... Shut up!”; again we have another ‘thinking out loud’ moment. Luci doesn't need to shut up; it's her thoughts that need to. Chloe is making the choice to ignore the consequences, no overthinking it. All she wants right now is to be comforted, & Lucifer is the only person she feels the safest with.

^^^That single tear gets me every time. My precious baby. Now, what could cause a character as strong & caring as our detective to fall into an abusive relationship? The answer lies in 2x14; & the episodes proceeding it. Just like how the events in 2x12 were the catalyst to Lucifer’s actions in 2x13. Lucifer’s response of ‘Friends, yes that’s exactly what we are.’ in 2x14 shatters Chloe’s world. Again she looks like she’s about to crumble; her voice is shaky, her breathing is uneven. Only this time, she can’t run into Lucifer’s arms to find comfort. He’s worlds away from her now. What she thought they had was & is an illusion. A hug, a touch, a kiss; moments that meant everything to her, clearly meant nothing to him. So she sucks it up; suppresses those feelings of rejection & a love unrequited.

”I can’t call you a stranger, But I can’t call you. I know you think that I erased you. You may hate me, But I can’t hate you. And I won’t replace you. Tell me how to feel about you now? Oh let me know, Do I suffocate or let go? Tell Me How, Paramore

There’s a clear line connecting the catalyst of Chloe’s emotional spiral in ‘Candy Morningstar’ to the present time heading into ‘The Angel of San Bernardino’. Most of these moments were subtle, but powerful when looked at closely. In my mind it proves Chloe’s actions or in actions aren’t the product of bad/lazy writing. And they’re most definitely not sacrificing her character in order to make this ‘love triangle’ happen. Or as the kids like to call it ‘OOC’. 

Let’s do a bit of reading between the lines shall we?!

“Our partnership ended when you ghosted me & the entire department.

“...What good is a partner if I can’t depend on you.” 

“How could you... I thought we were... I thought we were friends.”  (2x14)

unsaid: -I kissed you; I let you in & you left without a word. Why? -I put my trust in you & you abused it. I need someone I can rely on. I thought that was you. -Where do we stand. I have feelings for you; I thought you had feelings for me. That’s why I kissed you, why I let you in. But now you’re married & I don’t know what to think & how to feel.

”You know I keep caring... & you, you just... Lucifer.” (3x01)

“These feelings are stupid. Lucifer & I are friends, partners. I’m past anything romantic with him. Full on rear view, in the past.” (3x06)

“Are you really that self absorbed that you don’t realize your actions hurt people, hurt me.”  “Then why are you still here?”  (3x12)

unsaid:  -I open my heart & you keep taking advantage of it. Are you stringing me along; is this a game to you? -I love working with him, & being around him; but it hurts. One min we’re hot, the next we’re cold. I want to be over him, but I don’t think I ever will be. -If you don’t care about me, then why do you do these things. I’m still heartbroken; & I’m even more confused than before. I need to know where we stand cause I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

Lucifer broke Chloe’s heart in more ways than one in 2x14. And that pain is prolonged due to his attempts to “protect her/almost let her in/etc.”. To Chloe it feels as if he’s stringing her along, taking two steps forward than a giant leap back.

You keep me up with you silence Take me down with your quiet Of all the weapons you fight with, Your silence is the most violent.” Tell Me How, Paramore

All these emotions swirling inside has left Chloe vulnerable. If you’ve ever suffered from any kind of lapse in mental health you know how easy it is to let someone in that may have a negative influence on you. In this confusion & inner turmoil, is where Cain pounces. He seems nice enough, the perfect distraction to Chloe’s unresolved feelings. She just wants to find happiness outside of the yearning she still has for Lucifer.

Cain can see the bond Chloe & Lucifer have, as well as the ocean that now separates them. Realizing that maybe he went about it all wrong the first time. Maybe if he forms a similar bond w/ Chloe he’ll be on the road to what he’s always wanted. So he lays what little charm he has on her strong. Tells her everything she wants to hear in order to lull her into a false sense of security. Those walls he appeared to have before, are gone all because of her. Normally this is where a million red flags would be going off in Chloe’s mind; & they are. Unfortunately because she’s been so weighed down by everything that’s gone on w/ Lucifer she overlooks them. It’s easier to pretend everything is fine, than to feel the pain. 

I know I said that I was doing good, And that I’m happy now. Shoulda known that when things were going good That’s when I’d get knocked down. Fake Happy, Paramore

Chloe has every right to feel how she’s feeling. She has every right to seek out a relationship w/ whomever she wants. It’s just annoying that she’s having to figure all this out while being saddled w/ a person who doesn’t respect her. Part of Chloe is trying to move on from Lucifer, but the other doesn’t want to; sound familiar? -cough; Lucifer -cough;. It’s frustrating, confusing, & completely in character.

This is a valid part of Chloe’s journey. It wasn’t plucked out of thin air for the sake of a ‘love triangle’. The writers laid the groundwork for it in S2 & have connected it through to S3. Parts may have gotten lost along the way but it’s there. If they’d had Chloe ignore these feelings, made her pretend like everything Lucifer has said/done wasn’t effecting her it would’ve been a disservice. Not only to Chloe, but to the story, & to us the viewers.  Truthfully I feel people have been a lil too heavy handed w/ the ‘OOC’ term. I’ve mostly seen it used as a means to say they disagree with what Chloe or -insert character here; has been doing. All I have to say to that is: Do you know how many times I’ve disagreed w/ a characters actions? A LOT! I’ve disagreed w/ Lucifer multiple times. I love my son, but sometimes he needs to be put in time out. It’s what makes a character unique, what keeps us watching. Do you know how boring it would be if we agreed w/ every thing a character did? Extremely.  Part of storytelling is putting characters into different situations & seeing how they deal with them. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. In the end they’ll come out stronger, & more fleshed out than they were before. 

Each one of the characters on ‘Lucifer’ is dealing w/ their own emotional/mental health struggles. Our devil isn’t the only one who needs to hire a therapist. When I see people praising Lucifer’s or Maze’s growth from S1 to now, while at the same time denouncing Chloe’s pisses me off. It’s as if because Chloe is human she’s already a fully realized character with no more room to grow. So many of you have been complaining that she hasn’t “been doing anything” this season. News flash, yes she has. Chloe’s juggling being a single mom of a 10 yr old while managing a  full time career as a homicide detective. On top of that she’s been struggling w/ her unresolved feelings for Lucifer. We should be praising her for staying strong & not completely breaking down under the pressure.

^^^Maze is on the prowl, you know I mean business. Consider yourselves warned. #ChloeDeckerDefenseSquad I applaud the writers for taking this route with Chloe. Rarely do we ever see the beginnings of an abusive relationship portrayed so accurately. I’ve watched it be attempted, but more often than not the outcome is lackluster. Almost like the writers got spooked halfway through, or one of the higher ups told them to make it more palatable. People like Cain exist & should be talked about. Just because Chloe is overlooking these signs at the moment, doesn’t mean we should. Take away Cain’s immortality & he’s your average dude bro preying on women, or anyone. Everything is a game to them, a means to an end. I’m certain that if Chloe didn’t have a good head on her shoulders & an army of people to defend her, things would only escalate further. I’ve had the misfortune of being witness to these types of relationships on more than one occasion. They’re terrifying & I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. If we can find a positive from this plotline it’s to recognize Cain’s actions & words for what they are. Words of an abuser, a manipulator, a sociopath, etc. Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel less than. You deserve to be loved & treated respectfully. Take note of these signs & protect yourselves & others. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Now that the main discussion is out of the way, let’s do a bit of spring cleaning if you will... Welcome to ‘Em’s Salty Corner’ aka ‘People Need To Find Their Chill’ This week we’ll be discussing the infamous ‘Bullet Necklace’ circa 3x19 Some of you were more than a little pissed at Chloe’s dismissal of it. “How dare she think this gift was a joke?!!?!!?! LUCIFER GAVE IT TO YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU YOU BITCH!!” (again I’m paraphrasing here...) Now, look I’d be lying if I said Chloe’s line didn’t hurt my heart, cause it did. But instead of jumping to conclusions over it I paid attention to the whole scene. Her body language, her tone of voice, everything. And do you know what I see? I see a woman trying to lessen the significance of an item so as not to trigger her abuser. Followed later by an apology from the woman for hurting said abuser. When in reality there was nothing for Chloe to apologize for.

“It’s unfair of me to ask you to deal with this” Deal with what? A gift you received months before y’all were dating? He has no right to tell you what to do, how to act, how to feel, what to wear, etc. You’ve been dating him for less than 2 wks; Chloe this is BS & you know it somewhere deep in your heart. These are the classic signs of a dysfunctional relationship & yet y’all are focusing on whether or not Chloe thinks Lucifer got her a ‘joke gift’

^^^Lucifer & I are not amused. You saw the heart eyes Chloe was making while talking about that necklace right? She loves that necklace, & cherishes the memories she has when receiving it. Not to mention the look of longing she had aimed at Lucifer in the parking garage. There was more electricity in those missed glances than in all of Carcus’s scenes combined. Seriously what even was that peck; their lips barely touched. It looked like the kind of kiss you’d give an aging relative you haven’t seen since you were 3. If anything it was the perfect example of when 2 actors with no chemistry are made to pretend like they do.    Chloe referred to this gift as BEAUTIFUL upon first receiving it for crying out loud. If Chloe was really under Cain’s “spell” she wouldn’t be wearing it. Paraphrasing what I’d said in my previous post: Our detective openly wearing this is her way of telling Lucifer that he’s still important to her. Chloe’s heart belongs to him, he was her first choice. She’s trying to move on, but she’ll soon realize it’s with the wrong person.

“Do friends give you jewelry” Yes Cain, they fucking do. Especially ones who are destined to be together. So she was wearing a necklace, big deal! You’ve been dating for a min, chillax. I don’t see a ring on her finger... too much? ;). And even if there was, Chloe’s her own person with her own free will. What’s next, are you going to tell Chloe she can’t put one of Trixie’s alien drawings on the fridge? God I can’t wait for your ass to be grass. And thus concludes “Em’s Salty Corner”; we hope to see you again soon! :)

^^^Remember wuss’s don’t get any. Speaking of everyone’s favorite pigtailed, alien loving little cutie. Before I sign off I’d like to direct you to a post I & a bunch of other awesome people contributed to. It’s mostly us speculating about 3x20 & the rest of the season (prior to the release of 3x20/21/22 synopsis’s). I especially want you to focus on my section theorizing/discussing Dan’s “Cat Analogy”. All I’ll say here is that I believe Dan’s assurances that Lucifer is the ‘cat’ in Chloe’s life is false. Think we can all agree that a certain little girl holds more weight when it comes to Chloe making “life changing decisions.” Cain isn’t gonna know what hit him when he meets that little girl. As we head into the final 5 episodes remember to keep an open mind, have faith in the writers, & keep a steady grasp on your sanity. There have been a lot of crazy theories floating around; some intriguing, & some are out of this world. But that’s one of the best things about being in a fandom, we each see the thing we love differently. Even better when we’ve created a space in which we could converse w/o fear of reproach. Keep spreading the positivity & love! Whatever this show has in store for us will be amazing, as it always is. Till next time!! xoxox Em

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