#ignore the shit quality I was taking pictures of my computer screen as I played

[artificialqueens]

we don't get uncomplicated love stories (trixya) - dragonfly

AN:

This is my first fic! I don’t ship Trixya so much as I ship Katya/Katya’s unrequited love for Trixie, but Katya has been basically writing her own fic prompts at this point and I couldn’t help myself. It’s just a super short one-shot about recent events.

He/him pronouns but drag names because Brians.

“I’d prefer her just to be my boyfriend.”

the facts

i. Trixie and Katya love each other in a deeply complex, difficult to define way.

Trixie knows they’re probably codependent although he doesn’t really know what that means. They wear necklaces with each other’s pictures and joke about being boyfriends. Trixie thinks they’re soulmates, because best friend never seems like enough. They text every day and they miss each other fiercely when they’re apart. They spend a little too much time together when they’re both in the same city. Trixie doesn’t know what he’d do without Katya in his life. When he thinks about the future, the only certainty he sees is the two of them growing old together.

ii. Katya wants to fuck Trixie.

He talks about it all the time. He tells Trixie, he tells their friends, he tells their fans. He’s tried multiple times and Trixie always turns him down. Katya’s fucked everyone, so Trixie knows this is just a case of him wanting what he can’t have. Trixie can’t separate feelings from sex the way Katya can. He knows if they fucked it would mean something to him, and he also knows he wouldn’t be able to cope the next day when Katya acted like nothing had changed. So he always says no even though he’s sometimes tempted to say yes. He’s secretly flattered that Katya keeps trying. He likes knowing he can’t be that easily replaced.

iii. A relationship would never work between them.

Trixie’s thought about it before. He’s made lists, because he’s a Virgo and he likes to keep his mind organized. There are always more cons than pros. He loves Katya and they always have fun together. Katya understands him better than anyone. They accept each other’s flaws and forgive mistakes. They’re good together. But Trixie wants monogamy. He wants marriage, or a marriage-like relationship and he likes the idea of kids one day. He wants to be in love. He wants to have something that’s overwhelming and all-encompassing and he wants to build his own family. Katya wants freedom. He doesn’t believe in commitment, or maybe he’s just scared of it. He hates monogamy and he doesn’t understand why sex and relationships have to be in any way related. Trixie doesn’t really want to date a drag queen either, because they’re both on the road so much and what’s the point of dating someone if you never get to see them? Also, Katya smokes and Trixie could never date a smoker.

iv. If they have sex it will kill their chemistry.

They have sexual tension between them. Trixie knows it, just like he knows he’ll never act on it. But it makes their show work. It makes them work. Without that, he wonders if they’d be any good together. Maybe part of what makes them so great is the energy that sparks between them and Trixie loves what they do together, loves that they’ve got their own show now. He’s not going to fuck that up just because Katya’s obsessed with the idea of eating his ass.

v. Katya likes it when people think they’re fucking.

Plenty of people think it. Trixie’s read the fanfiction, he knows how invested total strangers are in a relationship he has with Katya that’s all in their imagination. It’s a little disturbing, but he’s used to it by now and he knows they both fan the flames now and then. Trixie doesn’t want to hide how he feels about Katya, so he does what he does and lets them think what they want. Katya toys with the fans a little more, but he always stops short of crossing any boundaries Trixie has. They’ve never talked about them, but they’ve never needed to. Katya just knows.

the reality

i.  Trixie knows every time Katya says something about him.

Drag Race fans are nothing if not enthusiastic and he’s guaranteed to get 20 twitter mentions alerting him every time Katya does or says something. 30 if it’s particularly interesting. Trixie usually ignores all of it. Giving Katya attention only encourages him.

ii. The first thing Katya does is tweet about suffering and desire.

Trixie doesn’t know how to respond when he reads it.

Eventually he tells himself he’s being egotistical and lets it go.

iii. Katya tells an audience that he’d want Trixie to be his boyfriend in an alternate universe.

Trixie finds out about it within hours and finds himself more angry with Katya than he’s ever been in his life. It’s the most intimate thing Katya has ever said, and it’s infuriating because he’s never said anything like that to Trixie. He calls Kim to rage about how stupid and selfish Katya is and ends up crying down the phone for an hour. Then he clears his notifications from his phone, intentionally ignoring Katya’s messages.

iv. Trixie ignores Katya for 37 hours.

It’s not very long, but it’s long enough for Katya to know. Even on opposite sides of the world they manage to text each other all the time and Trixie makes sure to read Katya’s messages so Katya knows he’s seen them and is deliberately not replying. It’s petty, but Trixie feels petty. When his phone rings, he doesn’t have to look at the screen to know who’s calling. He presses reject and waits. It’s 11pm, so it’s 4am in London and he’s sure Katya hasn’t slept. He’s opening up his laptop when he gets an angry text from Katya.

BITCH, I AM SKYPING YOU IN 5 MINUTES YOU BETTER FUCKING ANSWER

the confrontation

i. Katya speaks first.

“Trixie? What the fuck’s going on? Why are you ignoring me?”

Katya sounds like he’s been crying. Trixie thinks his eyes would probably look red if the webcam was better quality.

“Why do you think I’m ignoring you, asshole?”

Trixie is angry. He loves Katya, but he’s angry and he feels a small degree of satisfaction when Katya visibly recoils from his words.

“I… don’t know?”

Trixie rolls his eyes. “Think very hard.”

Katya blinks several times, very fast like he’s maybe trying to keep the tears at bay. “I’m sorry about what I said. It was just a bit of fun, I say shit like that all the time.”

“No, you fucking don’t.” Trixie is so angry he wants to scream, so he lowers his voice instead and talks in what is barely more than a whisper. “Do you know how embarrassing and hurtful it is to hear you go around at shows talking about how you want to date me?” Trixie knows Katya doesn’t want to date him. Katya wants to fuck him, but he doesn’t want to be his boyfriend.

“Right.” Katya looks defeated and Trixie almost apologizes. “I get it. The idea of dating me is embarrassing and disgusting. I’m sorry.”

Katya likes to beat himself up and play the victim when things go wrong instead of taking responsibility, and Trixie’s too angry to let him get away with it.

“We’re not having this conversation right now. You’re not listening to me. You’re just hearing what you want to hear. Call me back when you actually want to talk.”

Trixie disconnects the call.

Then he calls Kim again and cries some more.

ii. Katya calls back three hours later.

Trixie should be sleeping, but he’s lying in bed and staring at the ceiling so he sits up when he hears the call come in from his computer.

“I hate it when you’re mad at me, Trix. I really am sorry.”

Katya looks like shit. Trixie thinks he probably looks just as bad.

“No you’re not. You’re sorry I’m mad, but you’re not sorry you said it.”

Katya winces and Trixie knows he’s right.

“Jesus, Katya. Do you know how it feels to hear something that personal said to hundreds of fucking fans when you’ve never said it to me? Why did you do it? You had to know I’d hear about it.”

Katya swallows hard. Trixie can see it on the screen, even in the dim light. “Maybe I was too much of a coward to tell you to your face.”

Trixie squeezes his eyes shut. “But you didn’t mean it. Don’t mean it. I don’t care if you joke about fucking me, but why did you have to say something like that?” It hurts. Katya knows him and Katya should know that it hurts. It was selfish and it was cruel and Trixie hates him just a little.

“I do mean it.” Katya’s voice is soft and he’s not looking into the camera. “I love you, you know that.”

Trixie doesn’t know what to say.

Katya doesn’t know what to say either, because he’s still not looking at the camera but he’s breathing hard like he might hyperventilate any second.

“You want to fuck me. You don’t want to date me. You’ve never said you wanted to date me.”

“I would date you, Bri. If you wanted.” Katya smiles, but it’s strained and it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Trixie’s mind is reeling.

“I have to go. I love you, but I have to go.”

He disconnects before Katya can say goodbye.

iii. Trixie calls Katya back half an hour later.

“Sorry.”

Katya nods, but he doesn’t say anything.

Trixie wonders if this is what it’s always going to be like, them hurting each other and fucking each other up.

“You want to date me.”

Katya nods again.

“Like, actually date. Be boyfriends. Do boyfriend stuff.”

Katya smiles. It’s small, but at least it’s genuine. “We already do boyfriend stuff, only now I have to ask permission before I kiss you.”

Trixie rolls his eyes. “What about the show? If we date and it doesn’t work out, then what happens? We’re fucking business partners, Katya.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the show. If I have to pick between my career and you, I pick you.”

Trixie bites back a smile. It’s all too big, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment by smiling. “You can’t fuck anyone we know. Random trade only. And don’t tell me about it.”

Katya stares into the camera like nothing Trixie’s saying makes any sense.

“And it has to stay a secret. From everyone. There’s a very good chance we won’t even last a month, I don’t want to go public until we’re sure.”

Katya keeps staring.

“Also, I love you too, idiot.”

Katya smiles so brightly it looks like the sun has just come out. “Are you sure?”

No. Trixie’s not sure, but he knows they both worry and think too much and he’s tired of it. “I’ll come see you soon once I’m done with shows.”

Katya’s still grinning like maybe he’s never going to stop. “Can I eat your ass?”

Trixie laughs. “I’m hanging up now.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Katya blows him a kiss and then his face disappears and Trixie closes the lid of his computer.

iv. Katya texts Trixie all the heart emojis he can find.

 He follows it up with a peach emoji.

Trixie smiles.

[the-cryptographer]

Seifer/Zell because y'all convinced me

How long has it been since I’ve played this game, anon?!?I feel like my ideas about them are kind of up in the air, and subject to change upon closer evaluation of canon, but I had fun~ Thank you so much for the ask, anon :)

Under the cut:

What they watch during movie dates and what kind of snacks they get from concessions.

Zell’s taste in movies is probably wider than Seifer’s. Helikes all those ‘inspirational’ sports movies and screwy romantic comedies andcorny martial arts shit like Karate Kid,but I think they can both get behind action films. And obviously Zell gets hotdogsand gummies. Seifer only eats a couple of the gummies tho.

Which one gets in to a fight with the other’s parents.

Seifer. He doesn’t actually fight with Ma Dincht of course,but always fighting with Edea. Eventhough the whole sorceress thing wasn’t really her fault, she can literallynever do anything right for Seifer afterwards. Although most of his complaintsabout her are really petty and he knows this. Let him have this.

What kind of street performance they’d put on to raise money if they were stranded somewhere.

Probably Zell puts on martial arts demonstrations and Seiferis the unfortunate crash test dummy that bears the brunt of Zell’s impartialwrath, lol. He gets tossed around and thrown to the ground a lot, lol. Also,remember how in FF8 you had to synthesize all your weapons? Yeah, that’sprobably what they’d actually do for money, go bounty hunting for beasteyeballs or smthn.

How they’d be as parents if they had-a-kid/someone-forced-a-kid-on-them.

I really kind of wonder? Neither of them strikes me as superinclined to parenthood. But I think they’d do their best to rise to the task~ Ithink they’d both split responsibilities pretty much evenly for the sake offairness. Zell probably takes the kids on extended training vacations wherethey run and lift weights a lot. Seifer’s probably more relaxed and whatever about things, trying to be easygoing and not doing the best of jobs. Also he’s the one who packs the schoollunches, and bends down to fix untied shoes, and calls them ‘sweetheart’affectionately.

Who would cause the most trouble during a camping trip and how.

Zell would get into a fight with the wildlife, and Seiferwould get tangled fishing line or tree branches and vines or poison ivy. Theyare both camping failures but, upon returning to civilisation, they miss being outin the wilderness and reminisce about these adventures fondly~

What they would give each other as both a serious gift and a troll gift.

For serious gifts, they probably give each other practicalkinds of items, which ranges from things like weapons and weapon accessories toNEW VACUUM CLEANER!!! which is a passive aggressive way of suggesting thatsomebody’s not pulling their weight with the chores hmmmmm. Zell gets a newpunching/sand bag at some point, and also Seifer wakes up early one day to waitin line for hotdogs – best gift according to Zell. Troll gifts are probablyrubber chickens and custom made dolls with satiric ridiculous face scars.

Who moves in with them as an unfortunate third wheel roommate.

Idk if it’s Squall or Selphie, lol. They come over to sulk orbe overbearingly cheerful respectively while they’re on the outs with Rinoa orIrvine respectively, lol. I think both Zell and Seifer find Squall’s moodinesseasier to ignore than Selphie being :D :D  :D  and then D’x D’x  D’x  But Seifer gets really competitive whenSquall shows up so it’s kind of a tossup who’s more difficult to deal with.Quistis and Fuujin&Raijin also visit and stay over kind of regularly, but Idon’t think either Seifer or Zell find them difficult in the same kind of way.

How they feel about handholding and sudden kisses in the ear-cheek vicinity.

Probably they make a big deal of holding hands around Gardenone day just for the sake of it, and it kind of becomes a habit. It’s goodbecause both are prone to running off suddenly in some direction, so this waythe other one gets dragged along for the ride, lol. I don’t think they’re biginto surprise kisses though. They like to know it’s coming in advance.

Who’s always snapping photos and who’s pack-ratting clutter.

Yeah, I don’t think either is big into clutter. Zell’s asecret neat freak, and Seifer’s not going to mess with the tidiness. I thinkthey both like photos though. Zell takes nice photos most of the time, butSeifer’s mostly in it trying to catch Zell during those ugly moments when he’sstuffing his face or otherwise making a fool of himself. So many terrible but cutepictures have come out of Seifer’s photography.

Who hogs the bathroom in the morning and who causes toothpaste related drama.

They are both huge bathroom hogs. Taking 5 years in theshower. Preening in the mirror. ‘Should I get another tattoo?’ Neither of themgives a single shit about toothpaste and the inherent drama surrounding it though. Theyboth use the same stripe mint tube.

What their matching costumes were for that one party.

Selphie put so much effort into this costume party – decorating,getting the music right, food and drinks, all the thematics, coming up withgreat party games – and Seifer and Zell both have the nerve to show up in thelamest costumes. Like, they put on capes and fake fangs, ‘we’re vampires, Iguess’. Terrible friends. Selphie would ban them from future parties if shewasn’t so fond of them.  

If I think they’d get married and why or why not.

I don’t really see it… but I can’t exactly pin down why(?)I think their friends might be more into the idea of holding a wedding ceremonythan them, and they might cave and do it just for the sake of having a funparty with everyone, if at that point they consider themselves practically married anyhow~

Who has over a thousand unread emails in their inbox or five hundred icons on their computer desktop and how the other reacts to this gross mismanagement.

Neither of them has a thousand emails, because neither ofthem answer their emails consistently or timely so everyone has given up onemailing them, lol. Seifer’s the one with too many desktop icons though – most ofwhich are for games. Zell is lowkey bothered by the sheer number of themanytime he passes by and gets a glimpse of the computer screen, but he triesnot to let it bother him.

What their hidden artistic talents are and how appreciative the other is of these talents.

These guys? Artistic? I think not. Or maybe Seifer doodles alittle in the margins of books, and Zell thinks some of the designs are cool.It’d also be cool if somebody did something with a tattoo art AU, so in thatcase one of them might have to git gud at drawing and iconography.

What they consider each other’s most attractive quality and/or their favourite thing about the other.

I’m so bad at this *crying* I think it’s that they can be real™ with each other. That’s what appealed to me about the fic I recced before. Other than that… I think they both have moments when they’re talking really passionately about something, and it really gets to the other. D’y’know what I mean?

[babybutterf1y]

soberin’

Any sexual stuff happen in the past two months? Lol yea Is your phone right next to you, or at least close by? Yep, right next to me! What windows are open on your computer right now? tumblr. soundcloud. Anything you would like to say to someone? Yes, a few people Have you ever wanted someone so bad, and then they completely stopped talking to you? Yes. Is your phone a touch screen? Yep! Who is the last person to call you? martiza What was the last movie you watched? boy bye What are you doing tomorrow? dinner with jamie What would you do if your parents walked in on you having sex? oh my god i don't know  Was 2013 a good year for you? yeaaaaah graduated high school  Do any of your friends dislike each other? prbs Who knows your biggest secret? no one  Do you think anyone has feelings for you? lord i can only hope How do you know? ^ lol Do you care if people hate you for no reason? eh nah 

Are you in a good mood? sure Do you think ex’s can remain friends? after a long ass time Were you single on your last birthday? no Are you starting to realize anything? Yes

Have you ever thought about giving up on someone, but couldn’t? Of course. Do you follow rules or break them? break

Are you currently looking forward to anything? dinner with jamie tomorrow  Could you go a day without eating? yea How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None just hair ties What are you doing right now, besides this? Listening to music and sitting outside When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? Yes Do you scream stuff out the car window? No, that’s annoying and obnoxious.

Has anyone sat on your bed besides you? marts and raiza and my grandma  Who’s the first person you spoke to in 2014? no clue  Do you prefer being called your actual name or a nick name? Either one! Do you ever want to get married? Yes! Is there someone who makes you blush when you just say hi to them? yes How was your Saturday night? i went to be so early

Do you miss the 90’s? Yes What does the moon look like tonight? I have no idea  Don’t you hate it when people don’t listen to your side of the story? Of course

Do you know how to text without looking? Sometimes What about typing without looking? Yes Do you like to run up & down hotel hallways? No I'm 22 Do you notice how there are always creepers at public libraries? No..? Do you ever disagree with someone just for the fun of it? Lol yea Have you ever layed down in the middle of the street? once Do you get annoyed when people steal your spot when you leave for something? Yes! At the movie theaters, where do you sit? in the middle Do you like slushies? Yes who doesnt  How big is your imagination? huge Is the weather where you live bipolar? chicago baby Has anyone ever compared you to someone you don’t like? Probably In the winter, would you rather wear a hoodie or a coat? Hoodie Do you add unneccessary letters to the end of words? sometimess When was the last time someone told you to chill? probs today Who do you take things out on when you’re having a bad day? My mom or marts What’s the point of a white crayon? You can use it on black paper Have you ever thrown rocks at a girl/guy’s window? No Do you agree that unplanned nights are usually the best nights? Yes! Have you ever yelled “put your pants back on!”when someone was on the phone? 110% yea  Being too nice gets you nowhere, Agree or disagree? Agree for the most part. Do you quote movies a lot or know someone who does? yes i know someone  Do you like tic tacs or gum better? Gum Do you sleep with your cell phone? I keep it next to me  When was the last time you took a power nap? yesterday probs Does the shake weight commercial make you laugh? It did at first, but that was a long time ago When was the last time you found something you didn’t know you had? every day  When you played tic tac toe, were you usually the x or o? x Don’t you love it when you find money in your pocket? :D Yes Do you still find it hard to fall asleep on Christmas eve? Yup! Did you always know blue from blues clues is a girl? :O mhm

Don’t you think that’s what she said jokes are getting kind of old? Yes. They’ve been old. What website do you waste a lot of time on? Twitter

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? 
 I was super tired for some reason

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? jackson

Are you mad at anyone right now? No

Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? 2 of them were crazy aries lol 

What’s a compliment you recieve often? 
 pretty eyes

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf,and then completly ignored you? Yes, multiple times. So annoying

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? Noooo

Who was the last person to comfort you when you were upset or crying? maritza

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? 
 chicago on a rooftop

Do you prefer to text or talk on the phone? 
 Text

Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? 
 yessss

Do you think you could forgive someone for cheating on you? No

Who is the last person you argued with? maritza

Have you ever been arrested? No

Who’s the last person that gave you roses? 
 My parents

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? No.

What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? that’d be one serbian/croatian looking kid

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Not anymore. 

Are you hard to please? Not really

Have you ever gotten back with an ex? yea, big mistake

Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? lexi probs

What’s a cuss word you use often? 
 fuck

Why did your last relationship end? 
 I wasn’t happy

Have you learned from your past mistakes? I think so

Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? 
 Older, but not much older

Who’s the last guy you texted? stevan

What about the last girl? jamie

When do you want to get married? 
 Ideally, in like 3-4 years

Who was the last person to make you cry? 
 Myself haha

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Yes

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? Loyalty

When was your first real relationship? When I was 16… but I don’t know if I’d say it was “real”

Have you ever cried over an ex? yea but shit that was stupid 

Do you ever think about your ex and cry? 
 Literally never, ever 

Is there anyone in your life who you won’t ever want to lose? Yes

Do you think your ex still wants to be with you? I don’t know and really don’t care Has a boyfriend/​​​​​​​​​girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? No Will this Friday be a good one? downtown chi all night baby When was the last time you completely broke down? Uhhhh idk. Do you know anyone that smokes pot? Yes, me  Are you nice to the people you dislike? I try to be. never works

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah What are you excited for? cancun Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? depends which one. maritza and ali can come in, george too anyone else..... get out  Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? Yeah Does sex mean love? no Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? Yes. What’s something you really want right now? for stevan to finish at the gym  What was the first thing you did this morning? Checked my phone What is your relationship status? Single What did the last text in your inbox say? From Who. "I'm lowkey obsessed with you”- jamie What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? this would be year 1.5 fuck off joey  Are you listening to music right now? Yes, I usually am Anyone you would like to get things straight with? Yep What’s in your purse? lots of stuff  Is your name a common name? Kind of What is your favorite color out of these 5: Green, yellow, blue, pink, or red? blue What are you doing tomorrow? dinner with jamie Whats the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today? roll over and fell back to sleep Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? bye You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on? I would save it or pay off my credit card

What did you last buy? motorcycle helmet

Where will you be in an hour? Probably right here -_- What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? bestie Who do you hate? exs Is anything bothering you right now? Yep What do you think about math? gag Whats irritating you right now? Everything How is your mood? tired What time is it? 5:46pm Where’s your phone? Right next to me on the table Why did you last cry? Probs just because I was in pain  In the past week have you cried? no Do you want to see somebody right now? Yes, so much How tall would you prefer the person you’re dating be? over 6′ What are your initials? ANM Do you call it sitting “criss-cross” or ” Indian-style”? criss cross Who do you like? stevan How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? many Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? yes Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? hot How many cell phones have you had in your life? 10 What’s your middle name? nichole but i spell it nicole  Are you happy with the way things are going? for once, yea