#ilikeit.mst

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: I like it., a Marvel Cinematic Universe fanfic

Hey there, Half-World. If you follow my main, you may have noticed that I’ve been ripping into the work of blogger rcdart lately. This person (you can also find them and their work on Twitter, @plumerewif) draws a whole lot of Steve Rogers / Captain America as a pre-op trans man, which would be totally fine except that they draw him like this. (And that’s just their safe-for-work art. Trust me, you do not want to see their NSFW blog. But I’ll link you anyway.)

If you’re cis and not particularly educated on this stuff, you might be wondering what’s so wrong about depicting a curvaceous trans guy. After all, plenty of trans guys in real life have curves, and maybe you’ve seen those posts going around about how we should normalize the idea of boys with breasts and hips and thick thighs and whatever else. The problem is that, for Rory rcdart, this is clearly a fetish — their NSFW blog, and the fic you’re about to read, is all the proof of that you should need.

I did a very abbreviated sporking of this fic over on my main, but decided it deserved the full Mystery Science Theater treatment after a little reflection. This fic deserves to be sporked perhaps more than anything I’ve ever sporked before. There’s bad writing — always funny — but then there’s actual problematic shit, and this is the latter. Besides, in case Rory deletes this fic from AO3 (they’ve been covering their tracks a little), there ought to be a record of this shit.

In any case, it’s been a loooong time since I did a proper MSTing.

This fanfic is very, very not safe for work. The pairing featured is Steve Rogers / Tony Stark, and this is a smutfic, so proceed at your own discretion. Also, if you’re trans — especially if you are a trans guy — and you have body dysphoria, chances are high that this fic will set it off. Be safe, y’all.

If you’re over eighteen and very brave, click the readmore.

hi. i wrote this bc this fandom really fucking needs to stop being so damn cis. like, if u go into the trans steve rogers tag on ao3, theres like 30 fics in it out of the thousands of steve fics out there. yall are boring and u suck.

Laying my cards on the table here — first off, I love trans headcanons in general, and second off, I’m not a big Marvel fan but I love trans!Captain America. His backstory makes a great transition metaphor, superheroes being trans is really good in general, and, hell, I’ve always felt a bit of a kinship with Steve Rogers (we’re both descended from Irish immigrants in New York) so any headcanon that makes him more like me is totally fucking awesome.

So, like, so far I’m really down.

so yeah, pls enjoy fuckign 6k of steve rogers’ pussy being wrecked by tony, curtesy of me, a nasty trans ace hoe who likes that shit

I take it back. The last thing I want to hear about regarding trans boys is “pussy being wrecked.”

If you’re a longtime follower, you’re probably aware that my gender has been all over the place for years. I’m not going to bore you with the details. However, while there are probably any number of nonbinary gender labels that fit me more accurately, in my day-to-day life and for convenience’s sake I am myself a transgender boy. Our author, Rory, is agender (they/them pronouns), and does not identify as transmasculine to the best of my knowledge. Regardless, given how trans men are generally represented in NSFW media (when we show up at all, which is hardly ever), I very much don’t like the way they’re talking about Steve here.

Like... have you ever seen porn of trans guys? If you haven’t, I’m about to sum up 99% of it: trans boy who hasn’t had bottom surgery gets vaginally pounded by cis boy. For some gay cis men, getting to ride a boy with a vagina into the sunset is a big fetish. So I can’t really take this work as a trans author innocently wanting representation, given that context.

(Not sure why the author felt the need to mention that they’re asexual? Seems a bit weird that they clarified that, actually? Is it like a “I’m not getting off on this, I’m ace” thing? Because, uh, that’s still mighty suspicious. Asexual folks can and do have fetishes, masturbate, and all that. Also, I showed you this person’s art — there is no denying that they have a kink.)

(steve is a slutty little demisexual feminine virgin bottom and i dont care bc im sick of top steve in all these stupid stevetony fics ive read over the last. seven months. i hate myself)

Uh, yikes? I mean, there is nothing wrong with being a feminine trans boy or a trans boy who bottoms, but, again, this is Fetishization of Trans Men 101. Trans boys in porn are almost always feminine, and they almost always bottom. The whole “cuntboy” fetish is about fem trans boys getting their shit wrecked by cis (and typically masc) boys. This isn’t a progressive headcanon, it’s more of the same.

Like, I dunno about you, but I’d infinitely prefer to see a trans boy topping, just because you never fucking see it. I’d also like to see a trans guy and a cis guy getting off together in a way that doesn’t involve vaginal sex, that’d be cool. Also, if we could not call trans men “slutty” — it’s a gendered word, calling a trans guy by a feminine-gendered word is generally a no-no — that’d be excellent.

I guess the author thought they were being progressive here. I don’t read Steve/Tony. I don’t like Steve/Tony, not really. Maybe the fandom is oversaturated with top!Steve and bottom!Tony, I don’t know. But in the context of Steve being trans, this is more gross fetish stuff.

Moving along to the fic proper:

Steve had done his makeup up so pretty for the date.

Oh boy. Oh no. This is gonna be a wild ride, huh?

(I gotta emphasize, again, that plenty of trans boys do wear makeup and that’s one hundred percent okay — the problem is that the author is not a trans guy, and that this is a stereotype.)

His entire physique had been glowing the whole evening out, physical and emotional aspects combined. Along with his very nice shadows and highlights on his eyes and face was his Much More Modern lip gloss (clear but shiny and thick), along with simple slacks and a casual button down.

Yo, the amount I care about his makeup and outfit is none. None care. Let’s get on with it.

His short hair had been styled, but it isn’t that different from the new pixie cut that Tony had already complemented months ago (before he’d asked him out).

YIKES. Hey, pro tip: don’t call a trans man’s hair a fucking “pixie cut.” A pixie cut is short hair on a woman. Short hair on a guy — that’s just short hair. Steve is a guy. I should not have to say this.

Steve’s in fact been a giggling blushing bashful mess all evening, though Tony was sure he’d enjoyed himself a lot, all his smiles and looks he sent at Tony while they ate really proved that.

Uh… listen, I’m all for feminine boys, I’m all for boys getting to express femininity comfortably, but when authors who aren’t trans boys write feminine trans boys it can get a little weird. It’s like authors who aren’t trans girls writing masculine trans girls — sure, butch trans girls exist (shoutout to ‘em!), but when non-transfem authors write butch trans girls, it’s perpetuating a stereotype. You gotta be really really careful with that shit.

Tony’d made sure to send his own looks and winks and hints. He was very pleased to find Steve’s fingers creeping up to brush and slide over his hand at their table. All the more exciting was all of Steve’s flirting, getting more and more raunchy as the night went on, until Tony was failing at keeping himself from laughing silly at how bad this man was.

I know this author’s not really, well, an author — by which I mean that their thing is art, not writing — but this is not a well-written fic. And that’s only gonna make the sex worse, once we get there.

All of the positive responses and effort Steve continues to dish out has been making Tony’s ego fill exponentially, ever since Steve had choked on his snort at Tony’s joke about the fingernail lengths needed for each sexuality.

Hey, uh, I know Tony is cis in this fic, but isn’t the fingernail thing cissexist? Like, “lesbians need short fingernails so they don’t claw each other’s pussies”? Is that not what’s being referred to here? Why would Steve, a trans man, laugh at that?

If Tony got Steve Rogers to laugh at something like that, well, he had the date made.

Or I guess maybe that’s exactly the author’s point — Steve laughing at a cissexist joke means he must really have it bad for Tony. Though I’m not sure why Tony would even be aware that what he’s doing is cissexist, so this still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

And, to toot absolutely every horn he has, he does have it made.

He and Steve go tumbling out the elevator, lips broken apart for only a minute so they could walk. Tony’s very pleased with how this is going, especially once they’ve reached Tony’s penthouse living room couches, and shoved Steve down onto one.

Hey — how tall is Tony? Five-six? How about Steve — six-two? Not to mention, Steve has nearly superhuman strength and Tony’s just some guy without his Iron Man suit on.

Steve goes willingly, which is fucking hot, letting Tony manhandle him around like that. Tony isn’t stupid, he knows he can’t beat the super serum, no matter how much he works out and fattens up.

Oh, okay, Steve is letting himself be pushed around on purpose. Again, laying my cards on the table — size difference stuff is fun, “big character gets dommed by smaller character” is fun too. This is just still that uncomfortable trope about submissive trans guys.

Overall, he doesn’t really need to fatten up any more than he has, even to beat a sexy super soldier man.

Try saying “sexy super soldier man” ten times fast!

So, for Steve to let him push and prod and flatten him against an elevator wall while he sucked on his face, yeah, that was sexy.

Cool, I’ll buy it. Love me some big dudes subbing and all. Just, at the risk of repeating myself one too many times, this reads hella different since we know Steve is trans.

Steve’s belly up, his legs all spread, his cheeks redder than they were with his initial makeup’d blush in the restaurant, and Tony can see his fat nipples through his shirt. He wonders how wet he is right now, and that makes Tony shiver.

No fetishization of Steve’s anatomy or anything, though!

Tony clambers on top, knees on the cushion below Steve’s crotch, hands on Steve’s cheeks and sharp fucking jawline. He pushes his lips on his again, tongue dragging into his mouth, removing any of the lip gloss he hadn’t taken off in the elevator. Consuming any form of makeup is gross, but Tony figures that’s gonna have to be his life if he’s crushing on and dating (?) someone so feminine.

Uh, consuming makeup isn’t that weird. Isn’t Tony bi? Like, has he not been with women who wore makeup before?

(Also, if it’s nasty, why is the author focusing on it? Why the constant focus on how feminine Steve is, if not to fetishize the man?)

Because Tony wants to date Steve. He hasn’t wanted something like that in a while, wanted a person beyond their body. He won’t dwell on it, but holy cow does he want it.

Again, I am not a big MCU fan, and I know this is a popular ship, but I don’t think romantic!Steve/Tony works. Can I see the two of them having sexual tension? Even just going off the films, yeah. Do I imagine that they might fuck? Sure, why not? But these two are constantly butting heads — philosophically, they seem to be at odds. Steve is an idealist, and Tony, well, isn’t, and the two of them are constantly in conflict because of this. It’s what drives their sexual tension (if that’s how you want to read it), but it doesn’t make a good basis for a romantic relationship. (Also, aro Tony Stark or bust. Sorry.)

I’m also gonna be That Guy and complain about the author telling rather than showing. I know this is 6k words worth of porn I’m reading, but I’d argue that if anything that makes stuff like this more of a problem. Either show us that Tony thinks of Steve as a potential boyfriend or don’t bog down the story by mentioning it. Is this supposed to make the sex seem less “dirty” or something?

Steve’s got his hands in Tony’s hair now, running his fingers down until they rest at the start of his back. Tony rocks himself back and forth, wanting those hands to move, do more with his hair, squeeze him, remind himself Steve’s really here and not a figment of his bi-curious little thirteen-year-old heart. He’s half hard now, and though he doesn’t move his hips that much, he’s sure Steve’s got to have gotten a hint of it by now, with their crotches pressed together with gravity.

Hey, cool. Who am I to say no to some boys grindin’ up on each other?

Tony wants to be inside of Steve. He wants to feel Steve’s soft silky cunt on his thick dick, sliding back and forth until he’s actually inside the guy, making Steve shudder and twitch around it until Steve comes hard and Tony’s filling him up with his seed next.

Reading this makes me wanna get bottom surgery. Also makes me wanna get the author an editor, or a proofreader, or just someone to advise them that the phrase “soft silky cunt on his thick dick” is highly cursed and should be deleted entirely.

Which is a huge fantasy right now, but, he’s definitely gonna dream.

Steve whines needily as they kiss, pulling Tony out of his dark cloudy mind for a moment, so he pulls his mouth away if only to tease. “What is it, sweetheart? What do you need?”

Maybe it’s just me, but if anyone called me “sweetheart” during foreplay I would instantly go soft. Just saying.

Steve shakes his head, whimpering as he tries desperately to get his mouth to work. Tony gazes down at him adoringly, now petting his curled locks and the shaved sides of his head, feeling the product in it. Tony puts a kiss on his jaw reassuringly. “You can tell me, baby. I’m right here.” Tony kisses down to his neck, nuzzling the skin, being as comforting as he can.

Why is he being comforting? They’re trying to get off, this isn’t Steve’s cat’s funeral or anything.

“I… Tony, can you… can you touch me?”

Tony’s dick twitches at Steve’s pure raw innocence. He’s not all that proud of his virginity kink, but for someone like Cap, he can truly work it. He wants to take care of him, so bad.

Oh, ew. I hate hate hate virginity kink. It always reads as intensely creepy to me — like, getting off on “deflowering” somebody, the fetishization of innocence, all of that seems borderline pedophilic even if both parties are consenting adults. Innocence is considered childlike — sexualizing anything childlike is highly suspect, sorry! I’m not at all saying Tony’s a pedo in this, I’m just saying that he’s too close to one for comfort. It’s like daddy kink shit. Big no-no in my book.

“Yeah, ‘course I can. Where d’ya want me to?”

Again Steve whimpers, clearly unsure of the prompt, and if Tony’s reading him right, not wanting to connect his brain to his body to even begin to find an answer for that. “Want some help?” Tony asks, maybe too soon, but Steve nods reassuringly, telling Tony that it was just the right thing to suggest.

The author, it must be noted, also seems to have a virginity kink since they notably headcanoned Steve as a virgin way back in the author’s notes.

Tony props himself up on his elbows, giving a little more room for heavy petting and rougher makeouts. He plans for both of these things in the near future. Slowly, Tony slides his hands up Steve’s hips and ribs and armpits and shoulders and neck, finally slowing in his hair. “You want me to touch here?” and he combs his fingers through the curled locks, probably messing Steve’s hard styling work, though he doesn’t seem to care one bit.

Oh, Tony, you tease.

Foreplay is fun, and sex without foreplay tends to read really weird (see also: all of Fifty Shades of Grey), but if they’re going to spend two paragraphs on Tony touching Steve’s hair that is two paragraphs too many. This is a bad fanfic. I want to get it over with.

Slowly, Steve nods, eyes hazy as he looks up at Tony. Tony has to force himself to not make an indulgent sound at how inexperienced this man is. It’s such a turn on, for him to know nothing of what he wants or what Tony could do to him, and Tony’s been fully hard for five minutes now.

I am pulling uncomfortable faces in real life over how creepy Tony’s (and the author’s) virginity fetish is.

Tony’s fingertips skim down his undercut next, just brushing the tips of his ears, teasingly giving his none of the full on contact they had been having. “Tony,” he sighs warningly, and Tony grins like a shark. Oh yeah, Steve knows what he wants. He just doesn’t want to say it out loud.

Aaaand he’s shy too. Fits with prior characterization (feminine, subby, inexperienced), but it’s still that goddamn trope about trans guys.

“Mm?” Tony says offhandedly, making it seem like he’s not really listening. His hands glide down to Steve’s jaw next, slowly dragging his indexes along the sharp cut to meet in the middle on his chin. “Want me to touch here?” his palms cup along his neck and slip down to the built place between shoulders and throat, all thick muscle on Steve.

Uh, where on his body is this? Collarbone?

He’s flushed down here too, and Tony wants to trace that pink dusting down to his stomach. He doesn’t.

How does he know Steve’s blush continues down his body? It’s a reasonable guess — pale folks (remember, Steve’s Irish) tend to get full-body flushes when aroused — but he’s still got a shirt on, right? Did I miss something?

Steve moans, barely heard, but still there and annoyed. His eyes are shut and have been since Tony’d started brushing through his short cut hair, and they’re scrunched up, displeased with something, if only Tony knew what.

“If only Tony knew” — of course he knows. It’s obvious. Tony’s being a massive tease by touching non-erogenous zones right now and of course he knows it. Come on, cut the crap.

Tony gives a warm squeeze to his shoulders, much harder than all his previous touches. “Here?”

That seems to do it. “Tony,” Steve groans. “You know what I meant.”

“I really don’t, puddin’. What’d you say again? You wanted to be touched? I’m touching you, right, baby?”

Asshat. At least it fits with Tony’s canon characterization.

Steve swallows and sighs before opening his eyes. They’re half lidded but aware and aroused. They focus right in on Tony. Ohhh boy. “Tony.”

“Mm?”

Steve looks timid. “I don’t know… exactly where I wanna be touched. But… could you maybe do it a little rougher?”

What do you mean you don’t know? Even virgins know where they wanna get touched when they’re turned on, unless they’re Ana Steele, and I’ve talked at length about how weirdly written Ana Steele is on this blog. Again — cut the crap. Get on with it. Fic’s gettin’ long.

Oh, the pleading act, huh? “I don’t know, darlin’. Maybe you could start telling me what’s feeling the tightest in your body right now. Maybe then I’ll know where you want, even if you can’t tell me.”

The tightest? “Uh… my lower back, usually. Gets cramped up from hunching over in front of my laptop.”

Steve makes like he’s going to retort with something, then shrinks back, blushing even redder. Tony smiles warmer now, encouraging and loving. He swallows, licking his lips, like he’s thinking. “Tightest?”

“Mmhm. Like what’s got the most pressure, what aches for contact the most.”

“Touch my crotch, you fucking asshole.”

Steve’s ears would be all turned down and soft if he were a cat.

A cat with flattened ears is not an embarrassed cat. I’m not sure cats feel embarrassment. A cat with flattened ears is pissed-off and about to hiss or bite you. I am just saying.

He’s melting into his collar, he’s so embarrassed. And he hasn’t even spoken yet. “My chest.” Is what he suddenly blurts out, and Tony’s dick just jumps. “Can you touch my chest?”

Well, we all knew where that was headed (at least, if you clicked on the above links to the author’s art), but Tony’s jumping dick went beyond my expectations. Not in a good way.

Okay, so here’s the thing. Tony stares at Steve’s tits a lot. In fact, first time they met, Tony had only half comprehended what came out of anyone’s mouth and was too busy staring at the honkers bulging out from under that tactical spandex uniform.

Sorry, but I’m laughing my ass off? “Honkers”? In an erotic context?

He’d stared at his chest ‘til they barked it out at each other, then he stared at his chest while they ate together after that whole debacle.

I mean, I guess I’d expect no less of Tony Stark. Guy seems like the type to stare at a nice pair of tits. Poor excuse to fetishize a trans dude, though.

Tony stares at Steve’s chest when he comes down for breakfast every morning, his morning person step floaty and happy, fully dressed and coming back from his daily run, his tits still poking out exponentially under a sports bra (Steve has said many a time in many interviews and to many people about how he doesn’t want top surgery right now. He’s fine with a binder or a sports bra, and Tony finds that so fascinating), and a tight t-shirt doesn’t help.

There are lots of reasons why a trans guy (or any trans person who grew breasts during an unwanted first puberty, including nonbinary people to whom this applies) might not want top surgery. For the bigger-chested folks, scarring is a major concern. (If you didn’t know, those with A or B cups can opt for a surgical technique that barely scars. Bigger guys end up with large scars running right under their pectorals, and nipple reconstruction is usually necessary, if they’re able to save the nipples at all.) Also, some trans people don’t have dysphoria regarding their chests. Maybe Steve is perfectly happy binding or wearing a sports bra, despite the fact that it doesn’t seem to help him pass (though dude is clearly out as trans, not being able to pass as cis is still dangerous for trans folks — yes, even if you’re Captain fucking America). I’d be completely willing to get behind this as a headcanon if I didn’t know for a fact that the author has a fetish for trans guys with big tits, and that that’s what this is about.

His breasts are impressively big, full and bouncy, and as Steve says he wants Tony to touch them, Tony makes a groan he can’t control and ruts his hips into Steve’s, hard.

And, like I said, Tony having a thing for Steve’s Massive Rack™ doesn’t seem too weird or out of character. It’s just a piss-poor justification for the author’s fetish. Transparent as all hell.

Steve gasps and his hand jumps to Tony’s ribcage, at the same time that Tony gives up all touch games and just goes for it. He slides his hands quickly up Steve’s sides and gets two handfuls of Steve’s soft tight breasts, through his shirt.

Hey, what the fuck is a “tight breast”? Just wondering?

Steve’s voice fluctuates, surprised, then breaks into a moan that’s a lot higher pitched than what he’d probably want anyone to ever hear.

When I did a skim-reading of this fic earlier, I joked that I should make a “fetishization of trans men” bingo sheet and try to get bingo using this fic. “Trans guy has high voice” would definitely be on there. Just. Saying.

He claps a hand on his mouth when Tony squeezes, getting as much of his chest in his hands as he could at one time. Tony’s living out a fantasy he’s had for three years now, so it’s cool.

While Steve’s head is thrown back in pleasure, Tony dips his mouth into that soft cleavage that Steve had been so obviously showing off the whole night, his shirt undone by two more buttons than it needed to be.

I completely support trans boys who like their breasts and aren’t afraid to show them off. I completely do not support people like this author, who fetishize big tits on trans boys and think it’s empowering or something to write a trans dude character who likes to show off his boobs. If this was a female character we would immediately recognize “woman has big tits and likes to show them off” as fap fodder. Just. Fucking. Saying.

Slut, Tony thinks happily, licking into Steve’s shirt and pressing his tits together, feeling his bra, it’s a cup bra? (oh god, he’s not wearing a binder, not even a sports bra. It’s something else entirely and Tony is so turned on), and it’s digging into his skin as his cleavage is pushed upwards.

Where do I even begin with this? Gendered slurs used on a trans man? The phrase “licking into Steve’s shirt,” which, like “soft silky cunt on his thick dick,” is highly cursed? The fact that we are once again emphasizing how Steve is showing his breasts off on purpose?

Steve had so obviously been aching for this the whole evening, displaying himself for Tony, shaking his hair out and leaning his head back and his chest forward every other minute, all for Tony.

The gesture being described is very feminine. Most trans guys I know avoid this kind of gesturing because it reads as female. Trans people tend to be extremely conscious of gendered body language. This is more indication that Steve is not your average trans guy (who, you know, acts like any other dude would act) — he’s a feminine trans guy. Such boys exist, of course, but the author is not one of those boys and this reads as fetishization.

When Tony thinks about it, he remembers Steve pushing his bicep into his chest one or two times, his shirt open already and his tits just displayed. What a fucking slut.

Hey, drinking game! Take a fucking sip (babes) every time Tony calls Steve a slut! Get wasted! Guaranteed!

Tony kisses a trail into his shirt, all into the deep trench his breasts make when Tony pushes them together even harder. Tony pops a button open, then another, pulling back the cloth to see his white bra (it is a fucking cup, oh fucking Jesus), just light enough to contrast with his pale skin nicely.

White fabric does not contrast with pale Irish skin. Nicely or otherwise. I actually avoid wearing white because it makes me look washed out. You want contrast, wear a bright or dark color. Them’s the facts.

It’s not a practical bra, that’s for certain. What Tony imagines in Steve’s closet is a full drawer of sports bras and binders for his chest, and this does not cut it. It’s for show, this bra is for sex.

I’m torn between “so Steve wanted to get laid, he’s getting laid now, who the fuck cares” and “Tony’s fixation on the fact that his partner wants to have sex with him is getting a little weird” and “the author’s fetish for Steve Rogers’ tits is getting more than a little weird.”

It barely covers Steve’s pink nipples or half of his tits, and when Tony rocks his hips down again and Steve’s whole body twitches, he can see the ripple of skin as Steve’s fat tits bounce.

Cards on the table once more — I’m very pro-titty, even on boys and even on myself. However, reading this is making me want to put on a binder.

He wore this for Tony. Tony aches for it.

“Yeah,” he just has to say. “Look at you. Look at these.” Tony pulls up and squeezes them again, and Steve jerks and whimpers. “Your tits are so fucking big,” he praises.

I have the feeling that anyone above a double-D or so would respond to this obvious statement with a “yeah, I know.”

“Hot piece of ass, you wore this for me, huh?” Tony flicks down an edge of the bra. “You wanted me to see all of this, get your boobs pushed up so pretty and perky for me, huh?”

Steve squirms and pants while Tony squeezes and pops more buttons and then whines so damn loud when Tony goes for his nipples, kneading in on them until his tits are tight, then he’s mouthing up one and feeling how soft and good Steve Rogers’ skin is in his mouth, sucking up his heavy breast, leaving quick hickies up to his nipple, and Tony’s sure he’s never been harder in his life.

What does “his tits are tight” mean? What is a “quick hickey”? What is good writing? What is proper punctuation? I’m still in the process of earning my English Lit degree but I am fairly confident that sentences should not be an entire paragraph long.

He brings one hand beneath Steve’s back, holding him closer and more steady to his mouth, bringing that chest up. Steve twitches and jerks and makes every gorgeous sound he could make, all for Tony’s mouth on his breasts. The marks may fade quick, but it’s nice being able to see them splayed out on his skin for at least an hour or so.

I was really puzzled by this until I realized that Captain America probably heals extremely fast.

Tony sucks over both of them until they’re all slick and red with his saliva and beard burn, and Steve is a trembling drooling mess and begging for Tony to stopgivememoretouchmetonytonytony

Just me, or is beard burn one of the least arousing things to bring up here? Also, uh, you can’t do the “no punctuation, no spaces” thing unless you have some serious chops as a writer. I don’t think this person has even one chop as a writer.

Tony pops off one areola with a slick sound, squeezes Steve’s breast to a degree that he’s sure is painful, and Steve shudders, surely over how good it feels. Words fall out of Tony’s mouth before he can stop them. “Do you want to come?”

“Nah, just fuckin’ with ya.”

Steve’s nodding his head so fast it’s a blur. “Please, I want to, Tony, please.”

Tony dips a hand to Steve’s slacks, unbuttoning and pulling the zipper, and as he looks down, he drags two fingers over Steve’s underwear and up his cunt.

Steve is soaked.

Unsurprising.

Before Tony can act on his immediate desires and just whip his dick out or shove his fingers inside this heat, he swallows and pulls himself together. He brings his hand back up, and Steve actually looks down, questioning and disappointed. “Then you’re gonna come only from your tits.”

Wasn’t this a scene in Fifty Shades of Grey? Was this not the very first sex scene in Fifty Shades?

Steve’s face goes shocked, just stunned, and Tony’d laugh if the disbelief didn’t turn him on all the more. Tony sits back a bit while Steve watches, mildly horrified at what Tony had said.

I’d be mildly horrified too. If a partner got me worked up and then announced that they were going to do nothing more than play with my tits, and that they expected me to get off from that, I’d realize I was fucking a madman. Very few people are sensitive enough to get off with no genital stimulation whatsoever.

Tony ignores that and shoves his hand into his underwear and gives himself a few strokes, not letting Steve see him yet. He wants Steve to fucking work and beg for his cock.

Well, I guess I like that at this point Tony is just jacking himself off in front of Steve. Seems about right.

“But, I—”

“No, yes. You can actually do that. It’s possible,” Tony assures.

How the fuck would you know, you titless motherfucker? Anyone ever get you off by rubbing your pecs?

“Plus, you’re a super soldier, and like, what, twenty-five? You can absolutely do this.”

Wasn’t aware that being able to orgasm via boob touching was a super-soldier thing.

Tony smiles predatory. He watches Steve glance down at Tony’s crotch and whine back up for it. “Hey,” Tony says, sweet again. “I’m gonna make sure it happens.”

Then you best be prepared to be touching titties all night, and for Steve to get bored and frustrated eventually, because that’s what this sounds like a recipe for.

Steve relaxes a little. Pulling his own underwear back up a bit, Tony leans in. “Let’s get you out of that shirt first, huh?”

While Steve unbuttons the last of it all, Tony cups at him again. His shirt goes to the floor, and then there he is, Steve Rogers, shirtless, upper body naked except for his strapless little bra that covered approximately 20% of his actual tits.

Having seen the author’s art, I also know that in their headcanon Steve’s waist is slimmer than his neck and his tits are bigger than his head. Just so you’re all picturing what I’m picturing.

Now his nipples are really out, and they’re still wet and tight against his heavy breasts, and that poor bra, at least two sizes too small, barely able to hold up any of it.

I don’t know what the hell “tight” means in this context. I also don’t know why the hell Steve can’t buy a bra that fits. Fun fact, a bra that’s too small makes your tits look smaller, not bigger. It’s also really uncomfortable, and a strapless bra that’s too small ought to hurt.

Steve’s leaning back on his elbows against the arm rest, and Tony decides he likes the look of things right now, so he selfishly doesn’t touch Steve’s bra clasp.

Tony scoots back up, and before he does anything, he gives a sharp smack to Steve’s lefty.

His what?

Steve absolutely drowns in his moan. “Tony,” he gasps. Then Tony’s at it again, congratulating himself on what a good attentive date he’s being, guiding his partner through his sexuality and glorious fucking honkers.

“Glorious fucking honkers” may not be a cursed phrase, but it is absolutely out of place in what’s supposed to be a sexy story and I’m also not sure how you guide someone through their own tits as the phrasing implies.

He rolls Steve’s breasts in his palms, pushing them up and together, watching that impressive cleavage pop itself forward. He moves them around faster, watches them ripple and bounce, and as his dick twitches, he wonders when he’ll be able to slide himself between them. His aching cock pressed tight between Steve’s huge tits, rocking back and forth wetly with lube and his own come, spilling all over his chest and mouth. Not tonight, but soon, hopefully.

Why not tonight? Just ask Steve. “Hey, Rogers, can I titfuck you?” It’s not that hard.

Steve gets back to shivering, body consumed with full body shudders once Tony starts pinching at his nipples again. Tony rolls his hips, sliding their bodies back and forth along the couch and making Steve keen with his dick along his cunt. “Tony… just…” he breathes, bucking his hips for harder contact. So Tony twists both his nipples at the same time, and Steve gasps, going all wide-eyed and awe struck, as Tony brings it all together with another slap to his chest and a hard grind forward.

Steve comes with stars in his eyes, legs twitching up against Tony’s torso.

Well, that took about thirty seconds. Kind of embarrassing actually. If I were some big superhero I would feel real awkward about not being able to last longer than a minute.

His back arches when he gives a little yell, so his tits bounce up in Tony’s hands while Tony nearly gets thrown off Steve’s body.

Quick quiz to see who’s been paying attention: does Steve Rogers have enormous, bouncy titties? Is Tony Stark obsessed with them? Is the author blatantly fetishizing pre-op trans men?

Steve falls back down, still starry eyed, his hand on the pec above his breast. Tony watches as he unconsciously kneads the area, still all hyped up on his orgasm.

List of things that hype one up:

caffeine

certain recreational drugs

manic episodes

the knowledge that this fic will be over soon

List of things that do not hype one up:

orgasms

Sliding up, Tony kisses softly at Steve’s mouth, keeping his eyes open, looking down at his dazed, disconnected expression. “Come back to me, honey.”

See? He’s not hyped up, he’s practically dissociating he came so hard.

Steve blinks at Tony’s voice, starts to wiggle around under him, cheeks flushed up again and smiling dopily. “Okay, that was nice.”

“Yeah it was,” Tony smiles, eyeing Steve’s marked up, bruised, spit slick and reddened tits. He slides his hands up them to cup Steve’s neck, making him hiss. “Sore?” Tony teases, carefully sliding one hand back down to gently cup and squeeze one breast.

Steve nods, but also cants his hips involuntarily at the touch, and Tony’s grinning again. “Let’s get this off,” he says, hands sliding to Steve’s back to pop the bra’s clasps, and as it falls away, what little support it had left on his breasts disappears, and Tony sees Steve has porn tits even without any aid to them being held up.

Because of course he does.

They’re perky even with their massive size (and let’s talk about big for a moment here, each bump is the size of Steve’s head), and Tony doesn’t know whether to thank the serum or Steve’s genetics for that.

Hey, real talk. Tits the size of one’s head do not defy gravity. Gravity and big breasts aren’t friends. Sure, Steve is pretty built and those muscles must help to hold his boobs up, but we are talking about some seriously enormous titties. They are gonna fucking sag. Yeah, even on a young man who has the physique of a god. I’ve seen head-sized tits. I don’t buy it.

“Wanna move to my bed now?” Tony suggests, and Steve flushes, seeming to realize they’d done all of that on just a couch. “Or are you not up for another round.”

Forget the two of them, I’m not up for another round. How long is this fucking story?

Steve shakes his head. “No, I’d love to.”

Tony smiles and stands up then, one hand fisting his dick in his pants, the other pulling Steve up by a hand. His tits hang down a little more while standing straight, but they’re still porn tits. Tony is going to have so much fun with this man.

You mean, after paragraphs and paragraphs of the author essentially typing the phrase “big titty” over and over and over, we are not thoroughly done with Steve Rogers’ chest?

When they make it to the bed, Tony’s removed his jacket and untucked his shirt, pants fully undone and wanting to slide down his hips. Steve gets up to the headboard first, and immediately falls down on his back, legs spread open.

Damn, boy, eager much?

Tony files that response away for later. Steve wants Tony on top. As Tony moves to do that, his neck is held and tugged down, Steve pulling him to his mouth for a sweet kiss. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

“For what, babe?” Tony asks, kissing the corner of his mouth, then jaw and neck and sternum, propping himself over the man, taking full advantage of his wide bed.

“Touching me where I want,” Steve admits slowly, talking all soft. “Giving me what I want. Heck, figuring out what I want for me.”

“Thank you for providing the bare minimum of service as a sexual partner.”

Tony chuckles. “Well, it’s important for me to cater to and help out who I’m… getting all hot with.”

“Tony?”

“Yeah, sugarplum?”

Steve looks up at him, big blues wide and cheeks a red mess. “I know what I want now.”

Well, I dunno about Steve, but I want this fic to be over and I never want to read about boobs ever again.

Tony shivers. “Mm?”

Steve slides his hands down Tony’s ribs, to his hips, tugging him a little closer. Their groins flush together once more, and Tony drags his tongue over his lips. “Can you? Be inside me, Tony? Please?” Steve says all at once, even if he’s all flushed and struggling to get it out his mouth.

I guess we’ve already more or less established that Steve Rogers is not a dysphoric sort of guy, but I feel it’s important to mention that most trans guys are, and a hell of a lot of trans guys want you nowhere near their vaginas. Certainly no vaginal intercourse. If Steve Rogers were a real trans man who liked vaginal sex, that’d be fine, but he is made-up and he is playing into a fetishistic view of trans men as A) all having vaginas (post-op trans men exist) and B) all liking vaginal penetration.

Tony groans gutturally. “Yeah, baby, of course I can.” He starts kissing Steve’s mouth, getting it wet again, pulling out that pretty redness he always got every time they frenched.

Last time I read the word “frenched” used seriously in an erotic context it was in fucking “My Immortal.”

Steve’s putting so much trust in him and he loves it. “You wanna be on your back for it?” Before Steve can nod, Tony opens his mouth again. “Or you wanna be on your hands and knees, propping yourself up for my cock? I could push your knees back and bend you in half for it, baby.”

I am trying to picture what “push your knees back and bend you in half” even means and I’m getting nowhere.

“Tony,” he gasps, and Tony grinds himself down, while Steve clutches at his ass and pulls him in harder every time. “I want to be facing you,” he lets out eventually.

So… missionary. Great. Boring and stereotypical. It’s a fucking two-for-one.

“That’s good, that’s so good,” Tony’s saying, “Lemme pull back for a second, sweetheart.”

Steve blushes and relaxes his death grip. Tony pulls Steve’s pants off, and is reminded that Steve came his pants a few minutes ago when he sees the large wet area in his grey underwear, and once Tony drags a finger up, he feels it’s wet along the insides of his thighs too.

Either our boy here just fucking soaks himself every time he gets aroused, or he squirted. Remember that for later.

Tony rubs up the softness of Steve’s cunt over his underwear, actually feeling along the actual flesh this time.

Does Steve shave his crotch? Because vulvas are not really soft things in their natural state. The external parts are covered in pubic hair, which tends to be rather wiry. Not exactly the silky soft thing Tony / the author has been describing to us.

If he does shave, it’s important to recognize that shaving one’s crotch is typically a girl thing and this is yet another example of a trans man behaving in a stereotypically feminine manner.

Steve moans, and he’s really wet, foreplay and an orgasm adding up to his panties drenched with his discharge.

“Discharge” has got to be one of the least sexy words in the English language.

Tony pulls them off, and before he goes back to feeling around down there, he stares down at all that nakedness and curvy beauty beneath him.

Naked women get described as being curvy. Naked men? Not typically. A trans man is being described here as if he’s a woman. Just wanted to point that out.

Steve catches him staring. He smiles bashfully and knocks his hips up. “Tony,” he insists.

Steve gets barely any dialogue in this fic, by the way. 90% of it is just Tony’s name. Great characterization. Good job.

Tony makes a grunt of acknowledgement, not really having the voice for any taunts.

He bends down, staring along Steve’s swollen clit (and was everything on this man super-sized? His clit is about the size of the pad of Tony’s pinky finger), and his flushed labia.

I read through the author’s NSFW blog, so I know their theory that the super serum acted as a sort of magical hormone therapy. Testosterone makes your clitoris grow substantially larger. Unless Tony has real fat pinkies, I’m not impressed.

Steve has thin dusty blonde hair on all parts of his pussy, and his happy trail stops at his bellybutton.

Okay, so he doesn’t shave. Also I hope to god that the author did not actually mean his entire vulva is covered in hair, because that includes his inner labia and clitoris.

Tony drags two fingers along his lips, through the silky liquid and ignoring his opening for the moment. Steve twitches with a squeak when Tony drags his fingers up his clit. Tony pads the fat bump, and digging into the place just below it makes Steve let out a surprised whine.

Just below it? I have never in my life met someone who got off having the area just below their clit played with. Just above it, right on the hood, yeah. I’m nitpicking but this is weird.

“This good?” Tony asks. “Anything I can do to make it better?”

“Ey Tony, you ever encountered a clit before in your life?”

“No, that feels really good,” Tony hears Steve say, and looking up, he sees the man staring at the ceiling with dreamy eyes. So Tony keeps dipping into and against his clit, watching the little bud twitch and his cunt shiver. “Actually,” Steve says after a bit, and Tony grins. “Could you, um, rub two fingers up and down, with my clit in between them? Yeah, like that. Do it hard? I wanna feel it. Oh. Oh.”

I actually know more than one trans guy who typically jerks off like that, so this is a surprising touch of realism in an otherwise thoroughly ridiculous fanfic.

Steve’s a shivering mess in the next few minutes, Tony stroking hard and fast, and in his opinion, rough over Steve’s clit, Steve bucking into his hand even with all that force he’s putting on it. He’s squeezing the little bump half to death, but Steve seems to adore it, all squirmy and breathless and whiny for it all.

Tony’s so focused on Steve’s cunt and watching his movement on his clit that he doesn’t see Steve’s mouth fall open or his face scrunch up, so when Steve just fucking gushes, Tony jumps a bit.

Yep, he’s a squirter. Don’t worry, the author totally doesn’t fetishize that either.

After a moment of pure disbelief, just staring at Steve’s twitching pussy, “Was that?” he mumbles, awed at what he thinks that could have been.

What else could it have been, you dingbat? Unless you think he pissed on you or something (and telling the difference is easy, by the way, cum doesn’t look or smell like piss).

“Hmmmm?” Steve hums from where he’s stroking his chest languidly, still staring at the ceiling and grinning happily through what Tony can’t believe was his second orgasm. He looks so blissed out, hips rolling smoothly and now his thighs rubbing together and getting even more drenched. Tony watches in fascination as Steve comes off his second high, rubbing his still red and sore looking nipples, spreading his legs yet again.

Tony snaps his fingers a few times, the ones that hadn’t been knuckle deep in Steve’s juices, and Steve looks down blearily. “Steve, you just squirted.”

Uh, he probably knows that? It’s not usually something that catches one unawares?

Steve blinks and frowns. “What?”

Tony’s dick is definitely harder than it’s ever been before in his life. Steve had come just now, but it looked like he was pissing. Literally, his cunt gave a shot of come like a cock would.

Yeah, I think everyone reading this is familiar with the concept. This isn’t exactly unheard of.

Tony’s only seen that a handful of times, most of them in porn, and none of them have been as pretty as Steve. It's ridiculous, how Steve is reacting more and more like a flat out porn star. This shit doesn't happen in real life.

Lampshading it doesn’t make it better, author! You’re still fetishizing the hell out of a trans man’s anatomy and bodily responses! I don’t care if you’re also trans, this is a specific type of fetishization affecting trans men and you ought to know better!

Tony swallows. He never wants to let Steve go.

Because he’s in love, and not because he’s made it with someone who acts like they’re in a porno!

“You squirted. It’s like when a dick orgasms, it ejaculates. Vaginas hardly ever do that, but you just came harder than any dick I’ve ever seen.” It’s an exaggeration, but it gets Steve’s face hot, as he sits up a bit to look down.

“You mean like… it just rushed out all at once.” Tony nods. Steve swallows and blushes up to his ears. “That always happens for me,” he mumbles.

I am facepalming. I hate repeating myself over and over, but like… in real life, some folks with vaginas do squirt almost all the time (this is not an invitation to ask me how I know that) and that’s fine, but in fiction this is a fucking porn trope. Also I think this is the free space in Trans Men Fetishization Bingo.

“Oh my god,” Tony moans. “Are you serious?” Steve covers his face. “Nooo, babe, that’s so hot, seriously, is it a serum thing? Did it only start happening after you beefed up?”

…does the author not realize that it’s normal for some people to squirt when they come, no super serum involved? Do they think it’s literally just a porn trope? Oh, god, that’s even worse.

Steve nods, still mortified, refusing to uncover his face with his hands. “It was kind of… really hard for me to come before.” He moves his hands, looking up at Tony. “If I wanted to…” and he just looks so damn embarrassed, “I had to… touch myself for nearly an hour. My nerves were shot. I tried everything.”

I guess that makes some sense as a headcanon for Steve. I’ll accept it. Grudgingly.

“Poor baby,” Tony coos, and it does sound pretty horrible. Who wants to jack off for an hour just to feel a ten second rush and nothing else? Jeez.

Yeah, glad I don’t know anything about that!

“Can we stop talking about it? Kiss me or something. I still want you inside me.”

Tony smiles and lies back down across Steve. They kiss, and Tony pulls his own pants down to his knees before sliding a finger home into Steve’s sopping cunt. It’s the first time there’s been any penetration between them, and Steve shudders through his whole body, while Tony moans thinking about this silky softness around his dick. Steve’s probably loose enough to get inside him right now, but Tony wants to milk this.

Hey, at least this author knows that vaginas loosen up when aroused as opposed to the other way around! Count your blessings!

The guy did have two orgasms already, almost right after each other. Tony’s sure Steve can take it, but he wants to be able to work Steve up just one more time.

He’s probably already worked up. The man is in his twenties, no? And in impossibly good physical condition? And he’s never gotten laid before? I doubt he even went soft in between orgasms.

He slides his finger back and forth, feeling along that slick channel, all its grooves and bumps until Steve is relaxed below him again, just lying there and taking it.

“Lying there and taking it” is super creepy phrasing, by the way.

“Gimme more,” Steve prompts, hand curling over Tony’s back, head tilted up on his pillow.

Deciding it safe, Tony slides two more fingers in past the first, curling up and down while Steve wriggles, shaking his hips and canting back on his fingers. Steve only starts begging when Tony pops in his pinky.

“Please please please, Tony,” he says, arching and actually sitting up to kiss Tony into looking at him. “Fuck me, fuck me,” and Tony bites the inside of his cheek.

“Okay, I’m gonna.” But as soon as he says it, Steve sits up and moves around. “Thought you wanted to face me?” Tony quirks, smiling as he moved for him.

Steve’s all red again, getting more up on his elbows until he’s sitting up straight. “I was thinking,” he tries, licking his lips. “Maybe I could ride you? You’ve just been doing… a lot of the work, so I wanted to…” he trails off. Tony groans, very happy with this change.

Why is Steve fucking Rogers being so goddamn shy? I know this is his first time in this, but he’s not exactly established in the MCU as a shy, blushy fellow. Though, again, this kind of characterization is par for the course in fetish fics about trans men.

“That’d be amazing Steve, yes,” he says, and gets to the drawers by the bed. He gets a condom and his lube, then falls back with them in his hands, so his head rests near the foot of the bed and his legs slide down so Steve has a place to sit.

I doubt the lube is necessary. Dude just squirted twice in a row. He should be plenty lubed up.

He beckons with a finger, and Steve crawls over, all slow and seductive. Tony watches Steve’s tits as they hang and then fall against the man’s chest once he sits down right behind Tony’s crotch.

Thanks for reminding us that Steve Rogers has big tits. Would totally have forgotten otherwise. Thanks.

Tony hands him the condom and puts his hands behind his head. “Since you wanted to do something.”

You expect Mr. Dickless Virgin here to know how to put a condom on?

Steve gives him a look, but pulls down Tony’s pants from where they’d been at his knees, so Tony can kick them off. When Steve slides down his underwear, he stops. “Oh,” he says in a tiny voice, as he stares wide eyed at Tony’s cock. Will, didn’t that make Tony’s ego go through the roof.

Uh, he’s already seen and felt your bulge. He’s got a good idea of how big your dick is. “Oh” is probably because this is Steve’s first time seeing a dick in real life. Put your ego away, Tony.

He laughs.

“What, pumpkin, scared? I promise it’ll fit.”

“Oh, I know it will,” Steve shoots back and scoots up by a bit so he can hold Tony’s dick in his palm. “Oh,” he says again, retorts gone from his mouth.

Tony taps the wrap in his hand in reminder, and Steve swallows while he tears his gaze away. He slides the condom down Tony’s dick, staring at the liquid sliding from the tip. Tony fists himself, squeezing in prep for that heat above him, and slicks some lube onto the latex. “Okay, gorgeous, we’re good.”

Steve pushes Tony’s shirt up to his sternum, then slides his hands off to rest on either side of Tony’s chest. He lifts his wide hips, hovering over where Tony’s holding his dick up for him, until he finds the tip.

Gotta mention how wide Steve’s hips are! Not like that’s a source of dysphoria for many if not most trans men! No sir!

Steve slides down onto Tony in only one stroke, wiggling his hips around when he’s gotten to the base. Tony groans, head falling back, at the first direct stimulation he’s gotten all night, besides grinding and his own hand. It’s so good. Steve is hot like a furnace naturally, and for Tony to be inside of that was like a new kind of comfort in the sack. He feels warm and protected, and it’s fucking freeing.

I barely know what the author is talking about, honestly.

He’s all soft and velvety too. As Steve just stays seated still on his cock, his head thrown back and his mouth open, Tony can feel his cunt flutter and throb around him while his body adjusts to the impalement.

Eventually his hips shift a bit, more side to side than anything, and he looks down at Tony from his seat. Tony stares, just awed at how good he looks, he can see where his dick enters him and stretches him wide open, can see his built stomach flexing with strain, and his tits swaying just a bit as he arches and leans forward.

“Feel good?” Tony asks, hands now on Steve’s thick hips, stroking soothingly.

More focus on Steve’s hips and tits. Sure it’s not in a fetishy way, though! Innocent trans headcanon here!

He’s focusing on his own pleasure and the heat holding his dick, but he wants to know if Steve’s got it.

Steve nods, face still looking a little blown away, but at least he’s closed his mouth now. “Feels… gosh, I don’t know. It feels so big, Tony.”

Captain America saying “gosh” in response to the size of Iron Man’s dick has got to be the most in-character thing that’s happened in this fic so far. Also I’m laughing.

Tony’s dick twitches at that, and Steve gasps. “Yeah, you like that, huh?” and he rolls his hips up by just a bit.

Steve’s nodding again, a little more frantic. “I like it.”

Tony pulls Steve down for a kiss. “What’d’you like, gorgeous? You wanna tell me?”

He doesn’t know a fucking thing, my guy. His status as a clueless virgin has been very well established.

Steve groans but doesn’t shake his head, and kisses Tony again. “I like you being inside of me. Showing me what feels good. It’s real nice.”

Tony hums in agreement, now rhythmically rocking his hips up, not too hard. Steve’s going with him, up and down, his cock not having left one inch of the furnace since Steve sat down. They kiss and nip at each other slowly, Steve’s cunt now almost comfortable with the intrusion.

This fic is from Tony’s perspective. How does Tony know what Steve is feeling without being told?

“Okay,” Steve says, and leans back. He opens his knees, plants his feet down, and draws himself up so barely the head is still inside of him. Tony’s almost breathless, he’s so beautiful on his cock. When he sinks back down, hard, Tony feels his eyes fall shut in pleasure. He forces them open when Steve continues, falling down and springing up, his tight pussy squeezing up and down as he rocked. Tony himself stares at what he can focus on through all this feeling, and slides his hands up Steve’s ribs and down to his hips. His eyes flutter as Steve moans and pants, his thighs flexing with every push.

It builds up, and eventually Steve’s just bouncing, hands resting on Tony’s stomach and his thick thighs sweating bullets.

Hey, thick thighs save lives and whatever, I’m all for normalizing thick thighs on boys and it makes sense that the good captain would have some impressive legs (trans or no, he’s built), but, again, this is fetish stuff.

Steve’s velvet cunt takes all of Tony greedily as he bounces, seeming to go faster and faster to get him back inside him quicker every time. Tony rocks himself up too, but not as much as Steve, who’s sweating and panting with it readily.

Tony’s eyes have locked on his tits, drinking it in as Steve plops down every time and his breasts bounce with it too.

Dude, Tony is obsessed. And by that I mean this author is obsessed. And it’s getting to be creepy.

The flesh along them ripples, one of the only places on Steve’s perfect body that has any fat at all. His nipples are tight again, still all swollen and red.

WHAT DOES “TIGHT” MEAN IN THE CONTEXT OF NIPPLES??? I HAVE NIPPLES AND I DON’T FUCKING KNOW??? EVERYONE HAS NIPPLES AND DOES ANYONE FUCKING KNOW???

His tits move so much with all his grinding, bouncing down with every release of his thighs.

Steve “ah ah ah”s with every time he hits the base of Tony’s cock, while he goes faster and faster and Tony’s mind becomes a scrambled mess.

Should point out that making a lot of noise during sex is also gendered.

Tony is nearing it, he knows, he’s definitely getting there and it’s going to be so fucking good, when Steve suddenly screams and there’s a flush of liquid down Tony’s cock to pool on his thighs and stomach and balls. Tony looks down quick enough to see another valiant spurt of come shoot from Steve’s cunt as the force of the first makes him slide off Tony’s dick.

So, wait, did he come twice?

Steve sobs, arms and legs just trembling, barely holding himself up. He whimpers Tony’s name once or twice and then sits back down, his cunt flat against Tony’s still hard dick as it curls flat against his stomach, with nothing on it anymore to hold it straight up. Tony stares speechless at Steve.

Captain America coming so hard he starts crying = good, reasonably funny also

Trans guy Captain America coming so hard he starts crying = gendered trope applied to trans person, uncomfortable to read about, makes me want to give the author a good talking-to

After a minute, Steve’s collected himself, and is staring dazedly at Tony’s dick again. “Tony, sorry, I’ll—” He makes to move his dick back inside his cunt, and as hot as that is, Tony grabs his wrist.

“It’s fine Steve, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“What? No, I can keep going—” But as he says it, his arms shake and he can barely hold onto Tony’s dick. Tony gives him a look.

“It’s fine, sweetheart. Seriously, you’re exhausted. You came three times in the last hour.”

In a normal relationship, this is where the partner who hasn’t come yet just jacks off. Is that what’s going to happen here? Not a chance in hell.

Steve is silent for a second, sitting back. “What if I just lay on my stomach? You can slide right in. No, no, I mean it. I don’t mind. I want it,” he insists, when Tony opens his mouth. Tony frowns, but Steve just looks right back at him, determined.

“Just use me as a fucktoy to get off into! Not a porn trope, not degrading, not gendered at all! Definitely not the author’s fetish shit being projected onto me!”

Through all of Tony’s protesting, Steve’s still underneath him in the next two minutes, back up to Tony and his legs spread. He wiggles his ass and looks back at him. “C’mon, you’re not gonna last that much longer.”

Tony rolls his eyes, and gets his hand on Steve’s back, pushing him down. “Oh, relax, big guy.”

He has to actually bring both hands down to spread Steve’s ass apart to actually be able to see his cunt, but when Tony slides inside again, there’s absolutely no resistance. Steve’s whining happily, and it’s so wet around the base of his dick that Tony just glides right in. “Shit,” he swears, now going at his own pace. He feels his own burn in his thighs, going as hard and as rough as he wants, using Steve’s cunt as his fleshlight until his hips are jerking and he’s coming so fucking hard inside of his date, balls deep.

Yeah, you see what I mean? The phrase “using Steve’s cunt as his fleshlight” genuinely made me squirm, in a bad way. In a really bad way.

He nearly screams himself, making a noise not far from it as his body let go what it’d been building up all night. Steve wiggles his hips and moans with him, feeling Tony’s dick spasm from it all.

Once Tony slides out and gets off Steve’s back, he’s instantly on his own, trying to control his breathing. Shit, he hasn’t come like that since he wasn’t in his forties. Oh, god. Pulls his condom off, throws it where he doesn’t care, and rubs his shirt on his sweaty face. Jesus.

It’s nearly over, right? They can’t both go another round? We’re almost done with this fucking story? I can drink to forget?

Steve snuggles against him then, putting his face in his neck. “That was so nice, Tony, thank you.”

Tony grins. “Yeah? Good. You deserved it.”

Steve turns into a complete octopus after that, all up Tony and nuzzling into every part of him he could reach.

I think the author has also come at this point and is getting bored, because nothing else justifies the phrase “Steve turns into a complete octopus.”

Tony guesses he hit it right. He makes Steve get up and get clean after a few minutes rest though, because people with vaginas need to fucking take showers after they orgasm three times in one night.

I think anyone does? I mean, you’d be fucking drenched in sweat? The real thing people with vaginas need to do after vaginal sex is take a piss. Helps clean you out down there. Seriously, they’ve done studies.

Tony pulls the top blanket of his bed down while he’s in the bathroom, because there is more than one wet patch, thankyouverymuch, and cleans his own self off.

Forget wet patches, Steve squirted like four times. They’re going to have to buy a new mattress.

Steve wants to sleep naked, so Tony lets him, even after he puts on his own replacement underwear and Steve kisses him sweetly with his breasts pressed to his shoulder.

Of course Steve wants to sleep naked, because he has all the characterization of a blow-up doll and has basically served the same purpose throughout this fic.

“I had such a nice time, really. All evening,” he states, and immediately passes out into the sheets.

Kinda funny, I’ll admit it. In no way does that make up for anything else in the fic, though.

Tony giggles softly and sinks himself down so he can use Steve’s tits as his pillow, because he’s gross.

It’s actually the least gross thing Tony has done in the entire fanfic.

JARVIS dims the lights on his own, just as Tony’s eyes slip shut.

Thanks for reminding me about goddamn JARVIS watching the entire thing. Adds a completely weird element of voyeurism/exhibitionism that I’m nearly positive was unintentional.

Notes:

like tony, i too, am obsessed with steve rogers’ tits

Uh… we know. It’s all you ever fucking draw and you’re an art student.

if u think that tony acts like, really sexist/transsexist in any part of this fic, ur right. 

No, actually, he is fictional and has no free will. The way he acts in this story is on you, buddy.

tony’s character is sexist, and I think people need to accept that they can like his character and still recognize that at the same time. like, he’s not blatantly misogynistic, he doesnt go around screaming that he hates women, but he has a view of the world in the way that he acts and what he does that is sexist. it shouldnt be ignored just bc u like him. i love tony, but he’s still sexist.

His sexism should not matter in this fic because he is not with a woman. He is with another man. Oh my fucking god. Does the author see trans men as women? Is the author implying that Tony sees trans men as women? Oh my god, ew?

also, im gonna take full advantage of that sexism and tity obsession while i write tony coming all over steve’s tits in this new boobjob fic, peace out

I sincerely hope that you read this sporking of your fic and that it persuades you to never write such a thing. I usually don’t wish that upon badfic writers. Usually my hope is that they eventually improve, you know, through practice and all — but even if this author developed some writerly chops, they’d still be writing transphobic fetish porn.

also also,

yall: steves dick grew like 6 inches bc serum and he can have 1 million orgasms in one night

me: his pussy squirts bc serum (and im disgusting)

On that last point, we can all agree. I’m out. I’m done. I want to delete the memory of this author/artist from my brain. Bye.