#im alive though so you're all gonna have to deal with my bullshit still

[davy-zeppeli]

not great when you're walking home to witness a very delusional rough looking man approach a woman in front of you and she has to dodge him, and then when you walk past you see him start following you and then the police show up and fucking tackle him 👍

[cipherr]

what kind of dark place is Eralei in and how does our resident cinnamon roll Sith rediscover happiness? if you're comfortable w/ spoiling that much before the Great Eralei Fic, i mean. (i know there's been at least one other anon, probably more b/c your OCs are beyond gorgeous 😍 i totally get you tho, im super shy when it comes to sharing stuff about my characters too)

you are making my life complete, anon. ily

OOH BOY. i think the best way to answer that first part is to go more in depth  on her life and her character. i don’t want to spoil too much, especially about the whole Wrath thing, though if anyone is super curious about that and wants to know please feel free to message me and i will spoil it for you :’D 

this is gonna get long, but it’s important stuff, since i haven’t openly posted this much in-depth about Eralei before c: i uhhhh apologize in advance LOL

and to anyone who cares to read all of it (but please don’t feel obligated bc it is…a lot…) you are a saint, and i love you. amen.

so Eralei comes from a noble Imperial family, long-standing and proud and very steeped in their traditions. she was always particularly gentle, though; inherently kindhearted and soft, she had plans to eventually use her standing to work towards stability and peace rather than squabbling for more power. that all got turned on its head when her Force sensitivity was discovered, a bit later than most maybe, when she was about sixteen. suddenly she wasn’t to become the future Lady of her house anymore… she was to become Sith, to become powerful and strong and be a great source of pride for her family just like all the others in her bloodline before her who happened to have such a ‘gift.’ to that end, she was given her family’s traditional markings on her face, a permanent reminder of who and what she is and always will be. go and become Sith and bring pride to her family…or don’t come back at all.she was given a private trainer for a year or so, teaching her the basics of combat techniques to give her a fighting chance, and then she was whisked away to Korriban, and she follows the Warrior storyline from there.

in her early days, both in the academy and as an apprentice, she was fueled by fear. she was terrified of the other Sith, but of course she couldn’t let it show. she masked it, used its strength to survive. she desperately played the part of the dutiful apprentice, the proper young Sith, because that was all she knew to do. she avoided being needlessly cruel whenever possible, and on the occasions where she’d be expected to enforce her power and authority on ‘lesser’ beings, usually because she was being watched, she did so with great remorse. she didn’t trust anyone around her, least of all Darth Baras. she knew from the start that he was only going to use her and then dispose of her, she just had to do her best to survive and bide her time until then.

but what hurt her the most was how she’d be treated by non-Sith. some would cower and grovel like they were expected to do, yes, and that just broke her heart. but worse than that were the ones who treated her like just another monster, who assumed she’d be like all the rest, who wouldn’t even give her the chance to prove herself. she even ran into Jedi who would immediately taunt or provoke her, assuming she would be hostile, sometimes even trying to goad her into swinging first so that they’d have an excuse to fight.she was quickly realizing that no matter where she went or what she did, she would be met with fear or hatred. 

the absolute last thing she wanted was to be just another Sith monster, but as time went on and she got herself deeper and deeper, into her apprenticeship and into Sith politics and lifestyle, it became harder and harder for her to hold onto her ideals. she couldn’t always talk her way out of violence, or spare someone without getting caught. her survival instinct took over, and in order to not appear weak to the other Sith, she had to act like one more often. and…it became easier. she found herself raising a hand to choke the life out of someone, out of frustration or impatience, without giving it a second thought. she was in a hurry, damn it, and they were making things difficult. if they wouldn’t give her their cooperation, she would just force it out of them, and then leave them on the floor gasping for breath. but at least they were alive, right?

but this terrified her. it came so easily. she was so wrapped up in doing whatever she felt was necessary for her survival, so wrapped up in playing her role, that it started to become second nature. worst of all, for the first time since leaving her home, she started to feel strong. she started to feel that she might have a chance of survival after all. but at what cost?

she has her moments of ‘weakness,’ where she snaps and, fueled by her fear or her anger or whatever else, becomes at least briefly consumed. those moments soon pass and she’s left wondering what’s she’s truly becoming..and eventually wonders if it’s even worth fighting against.

i mean, if she’s going to play pretend and act like a Sith, why not just make it real? why try to deny it all? she’s becoming strong, she’s becoming respected…feared, too, but that’s just the way things are. maybe this really is who and what she was meant to be all along, and trying to fight back against it is just prolonging her misery. why not just give in?

except…that’s not her. it’s not who she is. deep inside, she knows this, and it never really goes away. she finds no more satisfaction in just giving in to it all…in fact, she just feels hollow. and she’s aware enough to realize she can’t sustain that, either.

eventually, she comes into her own and finds more of a balance. she’s not so soft anymore, but she retains her good heart. she finds meaning in being Sith in her own way. you don’t need to be cruel and power-hungry to be Sith, you don’t need to trample everyone else underfoot for personal gain. she allows her feelings and emotions and passions to fuel and strengthen her, rather than hold herself back out of fear. for a time, she’s actually doing pretty well.

then, of course, the entire galaxy gets thrown into absolute chaos :’))

all of this stuff from her past starts to resurface again, later on during the expansions. (spoilers ahead for everything up to where we are now, obviously, but i feel like most people know what’s going on by now)this time she’s making difficult decisions that affect way more than just herself… she has a lot of people watching her and depending on her now. her personal vendetta against Vitiate/Valkorion (for Personal Spoiler Reasons) begins to cloud her mind and consume her as well. she can barely stand to live with herself, knowing he’s rattling around in her head. and her sheer rage against him and his actions, and what she sees his son becoming, almost completely overtakes her. the Eralei of twelve years ago might have seen that there could be a way to give Arcann a chance, but so much has changed since then, and she’s stressed out and struggling and exhausted. in her eyes, Arcann is just on his way to becoming another Valkorion, and she does everything in her power to prevent that from happening…losing a lot in the process. Senya’s death, by her own hand, hits her very very hard. Senya was more of a mother figure to her than her own mother, but she didn’t stand down, and Eralei felt–in that moment–that she had no choice. it’s one of the biggest events that leads to her breaking, and one of her deepest regrets.

and then the whole traitor thing puts her even more on edge, she’s dealing with more Personal Spoilery Things relating to her past that are coming back to haunt her and actually threatening her life, and Theron comes in with that ‘betrayal’ and the whole “you’re becoming what we’ve fought against” thing (which WE know is bullshit, and HAVE known is bullshit, but…she doesn’t know that. all she hears is one of her closest allies affirming her worst–and oldest–fears. that she’s just another monster, and she’s been blind to it this whole time, until it’s too late.)

as for how she pulls back out of it all and becomes herself again… you will just have to wait and see 8) (honestly, i’m still working a lot of the details out myself.)

but yes! that’s Eralei. she’s complicated and confusing and a bit contradictory sometimes, but i’ve never had this much fun with a character or a story before, so i’m just having the time of my life :’D

i hope i’m not sounding redundant but thank you again, having someone else take an interest in my characters and their stories means more to me than i could possibly put into words.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Happy New Year, shortcake! Ali: You still alive? Carly: Same to you, baby Carly: Have fun? Carly: im hanging on you kno Carly: got my guitar out & everything Ali: I don't even know how to put it into words Ali: Magical Ali: awh, you using your death rattle as percussion Ali: about that Carly: yea? Carly: i wish id been there Carly: i miss you Carly: & your magic Ali: baby 😔 you poor thing Ali: of all the times to get mono Ali: i'll bring you chicken soup when i've recovered enough to go in the kitchen without retching Carly: that good of a night tho Carly: love it Carly: i dont want you to get sick baby Ali: plague parcel Ali: keep your bodily fluids where I can see 'em 😉 Ali: it really was Ali: Cavante was there Carly: w his bf or latest gf? Ali: Neither! 😍 Ali: Well, Drew might've been about but busiest night of the year for him like so couldn't be up in our business Carly: didnt text me the prick Carly: i kno im sick but im still hot Carly: how much business did you get up to w your boy tho? Carly: you his now or Ali: how rude, coulda offered to medicate you Ali: make a killing, think on lad Ali: I dunno, I don't know what it was Ali: but I'll be sad and surprised if it was just last night, like Carly: & he kno he benefits whenever im this bored Carly: your loss lad Carly: baby dont be sad Carly: hes wanted you for ages theres no stopping him now Ali: He's a fool, straight up Ali: [Sends their tattoo pic] Ali: Gotta be some sort of promises, right? Carly: wtf Carly: thats a claim Carly: divorce is on the cards for us cos hes trying to marry you himself Ali: Never Ali: wifey 4 life Ali: not just 'cos we can't afford the fees Carly: but wheres my tat bitch? Carly: I been putting in the work Carly: hes done 1 night shift Ali: you want one? Ali: only gotta ask boo Carly: make him beg did you Carly: nah Carly: too little too late girl Ali: aw, don't be like that Ali: I didn't know you wanted to get inked Carly: im no type of way idk Carly: write him on you if you want its no big Ali: Yeah but its clearly more of a deal than I thought it'd be Ali: talk to me, I wanna know what you really think Carly: do you have my black shoes Carly: i gotta find them Ali: Carls Carly: what Carly: thats what im thinking Carly: im bored of being here Carly: i need to go out Ali: are you well enough, you were at death's door like, yesterday Carly: idc Carly: this is no fun Ali: no but neither will be collapsing as soon as you have one drink, like Carly: i wont ask you to pick me back up its alright Ali: Don't Ali: Lemme come over, we can have fun there Ali: you don't need to do this Carly: i need to get out of this fucking caravan Carly: so nah Ali: okay Ali: fresh air isn't the worst idea Ali: where you gonna go Carly: idk idc Carly: someone will be about Carly: in their garden throwing up or pissing out last night if nothing else Ali: Can I come? Carly: why Ali: well, 'cos I wanna see you Ali: also make sure you don't die in a ditch, like Carly: i kno my way around Carly: how far you think im gonna get like Ali: I know Ali: for my own sake then? lemme be selfish Carly: he not let you do what you wanted then? Carly: aw Carly: didnt think cavante would be like that Ali: I don't think you wanna know really Carly: i do kno Carly: magical yea Ali: You're mad? Carly: nah Ali: We're good? Carly: i said i wasn't mad not that idc Ali: What can I do to make it up to you? Ali: I didn't go out with that intention but I also didn't know that it would do this Carly: who goes out w intentions Carly: did you kno he was gonna be there? Ali: Nah Ali: I didn't know where I'd end up, even Carly: k Carly: least you hooked w someone who would treat you nice Ali: You know I like him Ali: but that doesn't negate how I feel about you Carly: k but you like him so much if he wanted to be w you id be gone Carly: loyal vibes we kno Ali: I don't know, that's the truth Ali: not gone, ever Ali: but it might be different, yeah Carly: youd friendzone me i kno Carly: ive done it Ali: is that such a bad thing Carly: theres no need for me to answer that Carly: the fact you asked it shows what you think Ali: i'm just saying, friendship is underrated Ali: and i'm not thinking or saying anything for definite Ali: idk, my head is fucked Carly: you arent until he does Carly: done that too like Ali: that ain't it Carly: im not stupid ali Ali: i know you ain't Ali: but we've already talked so i'm not waiting on no one but you Carly: cuz he said no Carly: is that how it is Ali: no Ali: he said to hit him up when i know what i'm doing Ali: do you actually think i would do that Ali: i'm just trying to work out what we're doing Carly: idk Carly: i just kno how much you like him Ali: yeah Ali: but i like you too Carly: & i like you too Carly: but he doesnt want me babe Ali: No Ali: jesus Carly: unfuck your head Carly: use the stash or anything else you need Ali: i know Ali: i know i need to Ali: i'm sorry, yeah? Ali: i'm gonna sort this Carly: dont be sorry Carly: or sad Ali: how can i not be Ali: i don't want to hurt you, ever Carly: its done babe Carly: forget it Ali: nah Ali: its fucked up Ali: i am Carly: nah youre not Carly: only if you didnt care Carly: but you do Carly: & youve been so good to me Carly: you are being now Ali: i'm not going to stop Ali: if you still want me to Ali: i love you no matter what, okay? Carly: i kno Carly: i love you too Ali: i'm gonna sort this, i swear Ali: can i drop off some chicken soup and stuff at least Ali: i won't come in if you don't want Carly: i want you to Carly: but i meant what i said i dont want you to get sick Ali: i'll be careful Ali: i wanna take care of you Carly: but i dont wanna be careful me or you Carly: i want you to kno how much i love you Carly: i dont like that he gets to be w you that way & i dont Ali: I know baby Ali: for the record, I don't care if I get sick but Ali: I don't want you to feel like you've got something to prove Carly: but i do Carly: you like us both Carly: i want you to want me more than him Ali: Babe, its not that simple Ali: Wish it was, like Carly: what can i do then Carly: tell me how to make it simple Ali: If I find out Ali: I'll let you know Ali: its me though Ali: no self-pity bullshit or cliche about it Ali: just facts Carly: do you love him Ali: I mean Ali: too soon to say, yeah? Carly: yeah or nah Carly: i kno you kno Ali: yeah Carly: k Ali: but i love you too Carly: i get bi means two Carly: but i dont think it works like that Ali: I know Carly: yea dont come over if itll fuck your head up more Ali: idc Ali: only if it'll fuck up yours Carly: i do Carly: i care about you Ali: you're gonna make me cry Carly: sorry Carly: we should get out of our heads Carly: not gonna unfuck them like Carly: but will help Ali: 'til we have to deal with it in the morning Ali: january 1st, yeah, good a day as any to attempt to sort our shit Carly: yea Ali: That said Ali: wish you were better so we could get outta here Carly: me too Carly: where do you wanna go? Carly: i can make it im strong Ali: let me spirit you away for some sea air Ali: that's how they kicked it if you were dying back in the day Carly: we could get your ex to drive us Carly: 3s a party Carly: dont mind making her sick since she aint about me Ali: 🙄 sure, lets rent a mini-bus and make it a reunion of all the former flames Ali: I've got money for the actual Ali: wanna go down Malahide? Carly: serious? Ali: why not Ali: i don't reckon you'll actually drop down, like Ali: and gotta keep making good on my promise to take you away from here Ali: even if its only half an hour down the road Carly: lets go Carly: ill leave my ma a note not that shes bothered where i go any other time Ali: buy her a stick of rock Ali: if she's really arsey she knows where to stick it Carly: ha Carly: idc what she thinks Carly: ill be sick wherever i am Ali: May as well have a view that ain't the inside of your room Carly: & have fun w my baby while i still can Ali: no while about it Ali: we're always gonna have fun Carly: but hes gonna move into my time & fun Ali: hmm Ali: maybe a smidge, not going to make promises I can't keep Ali: but not all of it, THAT I promise Ali: I'm always going to have time for you, Carls Carly: promise Ali: fucking promise Ali: you're still my girl Carly: & youre mine Ali: hell yeah Ali: on some forever shit you and me Carly: new year but same us Ali: you know it Ali: ain't a resolution to lose you, nah Carly: you gonna ink me then Ali: can Ali: if you want to Ali: ideas? Carly: idc Carly: do what you want Carly: i trust you Ali: okay Ali: challenge accepted Carly: i kno youre up to it

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Caleb

Ali: Do we know when Carly's funeral is going to be yet? Ali: I need to come back but I don't want to pester her parents...I sent a message but no response Caleb: I did too and got nothing either Caleb: I'm feeling they dont want us to be knowing Ali: Think so too Ali: Which is rich considering Ali: Trying to be understanding but where have they been Ali: I know I was away too but Caleb: you kept in touch Caleb: they haven't met their grandchild yet, have they? That's their vibe Caleb: imma leave them in peace but its not cool Ali: everything is so fucked Ali: how did this happen Caleb: never seen my mum madder Caleb: she's not praying for them saving 'em up for indie & drew Caleb: you gotta make sure you handle your own goodbye Ali: Can't blame her Ali: thank God she and Meena were there or they could both be gone Ali: What the hell is going to happen now Ali: Yeah, I'll have to, I don't think we're getting in to the real funeral but, it won't be her anyway Ali: they don't know her Caleb: I wish I had been, caught my mum crying hard later & that was before all this Caleb: she's down to take her in but I dunno if he'll allow it Caleb: Carly's parents could take her still its mad here rn Ali: I owe her big time, I didn't know what else to do, she wouldn't go to Hospital so I can't be sorry I did it but I am sorry for the fucking trauma of it all Ali: In a way, that might be better for her, but then...they've not done a good job with Carly, have they? Would they let history repeat itself Ali: but Drew, fuck Caleb: it's all good, like nah, but as far as my mum goes Caleb: you did the right thing Caleb: I dunno man they might be feeling like they're getting a second chance with her but will it be? Caleb: you heard from him? Caleb: im blocked Ali: Thanks, I'm doubting everything I did and said now Ali: but I really tried Ali: I truly don't know what's for the best but it will have to be worked out Ali: Poor baby Ali: No, not since this whole...mess Ali: I think he genuinely feels guilt for this one Caleb: You handled shit better than I could. Better than most I think Caleb: Estou orgulhoso de ti, querida. Caleb: yeah my heart's breaking to look at her Caleb: He won't let me help him & truth be that I don't even know where to start Caleb: No idea what he wants, you know Caleb: could be what the kid needs but as easy could not be Ali: You're too nice for your own good Ali: He probably feels like he doesn't deserve it, and rightly so frankly but not going to spite Indie just to prove a point Ali: She's so innocent Ali: Oh God Ali: I'd do it myself but the social would never sign off on that Ali: who am I, like Ali: She's got family Caleb: I ain't feeling it. I'm raging Caleb: I get that I don't get to speak on it, and he's hurting so I'm not going there but I dunno how he could let her go like that Caleb: With the bab there Caleb: Shit's beyond fucked Caleb: We could try. You were Carly's family Caleb: She'd want you looking out for indie Ali: I don't know Ali: It was hard to know how to help her Ali: but he didn't even try Ali: well, from what we can see from our outside perspective Ali: she seemed to think he did but Ali: I don't fucking know Ali: It really is, thank God Indie won't remember any of this Ali: Drew will have to, and that's his punishment Ali: I asked Mum, its pretty much a no go, if she got put in the system, if none of them claimed her, then maybe, but not whilst I'm at Uni and away and I already have too many kids to deal with by standards Ali: especially for a single parent, they wouldn't favour me over a nice, older well-off couple with everything to give Caleb: She wanted to bounce so says my mum, he shoulda let her do what she needed to do, she had to be in shock having her way it went Caleb: gotta keep your babies safe they're defenseless Caleb: anything could've happened them playing at family how they did Caleb: Filho da mãe! Caleb: Okay but hear me out...what if we went at this together? Caleb: You still got your ring, you're still my missus, legal or nah Caleb: se você me tiver eu estou disposto Ali: She did, she had, she told me where she was Ali: I just think its too easy to think over all this now Ali: its plausible he was trying to keep her safe by bringing her back, its not out there Ali: arguably was safer who knows where she would've ended up Ali: its happened regardless of all the what-ifs and woulda coulda shoulda Ali: better focusing on what we can all do now, Drew included Ali: See, too nice Ali: Of course I do Ali: I still don't think it'll happen but of course we can try Ali: if it comes to that Caleb: True Caleb: He was outta his depth, feeling like he could get Carly to turn it all around, let his kid have the ma he never Caleb: It's sad man Caleb: Good Caleb: We can't worry on that yet but I've been stressing over you out there on your own Caleb: Can I hit you with another idea? Ali: Yeah, exactly Ali: Very fucking sad Ali: Oh, I'm fine, like, not right now but, you know Ali: Go for it Caleb: Try not to get vexed at me for sneaking but it's been a while Caleb: I've been hitting up job offers round you and they've said yeah to some part time things Caleb: I wanna come out, help with the kids more than ever now Caleb: What you think? Ali: You're serious? Ali: I think its the best news I've had in a long while Ali: Well done you! Caleb: what happened got me thinking Caleb: and its the only thing that makes sense Caleb: us all together, you feel me? Caleb: It won't be easy but neither is this rn Ali: I've been feeling the same Ali: but I was too scared to put it out there Ali: Family should be all that matters Ali: the rest is just bullshit to deal with Ali: the kids are going to be so excited when are you coming Caleb: my bad for leaving you hanging this long but I didn't wanna mess you around, not only with the job, you know Caleb: but my heart's sure Caleb: I dunno what I'd do if shit happened to you, cos you're my baby mama yeah, but cos you're you too Caleb: I still feel the same, not trying to change it these days Caleb: Gotta help Gus get my cuz ready to do my thing but won't take no time Ali: Not at all, it had to be right Ali: It would be all the more painful and wrong if you came and we couldn't make it work Ali: I love you Caleb: I love you too Caleb: You've been all on my mind since I last saw you and thats how I want it Ali: Wait Ali: before you commit fully I have something to tell you Ali: might change your mind, I don't know so you need to know now before Caleb: You can tell me Caleb: I'm listening Ali: [Sends bump pic] Ali: About 5/6 months Ali: Your Bday, Christmas, remember? Ali: I didn't say because Ali: Last time Ali: I've not told anyone else though, no one Caleb: Shit man! You been dealing on your own Caleb: That's so rough, Ali Caleb: You should've said, hit up your fam if not me Caleb: I get not wanting to say it but I gotta ask, was there anyone else on the scene? Caleb: I know what I think but I need to hear it Ali: It was worst for you but Ali: it wasn't exactly easy to tell them Ali: I know they were all disappointed or disgusted or whatever else valid feelings but it wasn't fun Ali: No, no one else Caleb: We gotta tell them Caleb: Mine too Caleb: What's the story? What's the doctor said? Are you both good? Ali: Yeah, my blood pressure's a bit high but to be expected, I told him I ain't got no time to chill Ali: are you happy? Ali: do you think anyone will be? or have i had one too many to soon to get the congrats now Caleb: I'm gonna make time for you to chill Caleb: Swear down Caleb: Eu nunca estive mais feliz Caleb: And they'll be happy for us too. Trust Ali: That would be nice Ali: don't think I've stopped since I came here Ali: If they aren't, they aren't Ali: Its coming, like Caleb: I'll rush through what I gotta do here, be with you sooner Caleb: More I can do to take care of the bubs the more you can have that you time Caleb: I'm not slipping on you or this baby, you're gonna be all good Caleb: Gus'll throw us a party, he misses you like I do Ali: You don't need to do that, tho no shade to your cuz but some talent you just can't teach Ali: #natural Ali: I miss him too, I miss everyone Ali: Oh shit Ali: Has anyone told Ro? Did she even know Carly was pregnant Ali: We've not spoken much, I've tried to give her space, let her live her Uni dreams Ali: Fuck Caleb: You don't need to hype me but I'll allow it Caleb: yeah no lie I'm a bit scared about heading over gotta be done for my culinary arts tho like, keep the restaurant game fresh for my fam Caleb: Oh damn! Meena maybe? I dunno Caleb: She swerves me & everything happened fast Ali: You're gonna love it Ali: I've found so many amazing places already, I can't wait to show you Ali: Even Junie's trying new things Ali: I'll have to ask her, God I hope so Ali: If not, oddly maybe it'll be best coming from me? Seems wrong but Ali: she knows I was friends with Carly Caleb: That's my boy 💪💚 Caleb: I'm excited too, trust Caleb: yeah we all felt the love Caleb: Hope she didn't hear it from the wrong peeps but it'll be what it is Ali: I dread to think how fast the rumour mill be spinning Ali: Wankers Caleb: Least she got that distance Caleb: You're the furthest and closest Caleb: I hate that it's gotta be this way for you Ali: I'm just glad I got to know her Ali: I was lucky enough, none of them were so Ali: say what they like, they did when she was alive, like Caleb: I should've known her better Caleb: I knew what Drew was doing Ali: We all did Ali: what could we have done? stop him? stop her? Ali: they both made choices, even if they were poor ones, or made not in their best state and mind Caleb: True Caleb: I let him make a lot of bad choices, shit went on too long Caleb: It's not on me to pull him back anymore I got focus elsewhere Ali: You can't blame yourself for him Ali: its his to shoulder Ali: yeah, a lot of bad shit happened to him but, he's made a lot of it happen since Ali: not his excuse of a Ma Ali: she's not been around for a long time Ali: Meena still manages to be good and do the right thing, y'know? Caleb: Exactly Caleb: He's grown now and he needs to act it more than he's been Caleb: There are two kids in this Caleb: Behaving like her isn't what he wants but we can't do the changing for him Caleb: It wasn't on Carly to help me out with that either Ali: Right, though, clearly he won't acknowledge Edie unless I'm dead Ali: Fucked up thing to say but more fucked up that its real Ali: I know Ali: but she loved him, she wanted to Ali: he shoulda treated her so much better, she gave him everything she had and for what? Caleb: over my dead body would he mess that kids head and life up if you weren't here Caleb: it's not right Caleb: I don't feel I know him nowadays Ali: I know Ali: you're a better Dad to her than he could ever be Ali: just the truth Ali: I know Ali: its a shame but you and your fam have done all you can for him Ali: can only wait and see what he does now Caleb: I'd adopt her but I'm hoping against hope he'll wanna be her dad Caleb: But if not now when like? Caleb: Now he's got to take care of Indie alone that's the excuse he needs Caleb: shit man Caleb: he doesn't deserve either of those girls Ali: She'll know Ali: we don't need a piece of paper to make it official Ali: she feels the 💚 Ali: No matter what happens, we have to look after Indie too, okay? Ali: Make sure she's good Ali: Promise Caleb: I promise you Caleb: nothing's gonna happen to any of these kids on my watch Caleb: she'll feel the love too, all we've got Caleb: 5 babies or 15, gonna keep my word Ali: Same Ali: we're not doing a bad job, are we? Ali: I don't want to prove everyone right Caleb: We've been slipping but it'll be all good when we're together again Caleb: Better with you than without Caleb: And we've always done the bubs right no matter what Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: haters got me trippin' Ali: don't tell Caleb: I'll pick you up on the quiet Caleb: when you going to the doctors again? I'll time my trip so I can be with Ali: its not 'til next month Ali: so that should actually work out reasonably well? Caleb: Fated Ali: if not its only a checkup so its chill Ali: but we can aim for it Caleb: Sooner the better for me Caleb: Don't tell the kids I wanna show up and see them lose their shit like on the vids Ali: That will be too cute for words Caleb: forreal Caleb: Imma try and get Junie on the songs cos I got my girls to help me Caleb: he's already a chatterbox we halfway to it Ali: they've learnt this Malay nursery rhyme Ali: its sick, they're so good at it Ali: I'll let them show you when you come Caleb: they can teach me Caleb: gimme a leg up Ali: Yeah, and Mandarin Ali: like, you'd get along fine with English but its so much more fun and just respectful to try Ali: I want them to learn as much as they can whilst we're here Ali: and wherever else we end up Caleb: I feel that Caleb: I got an app on my phone but with everything that's been going down I haven't tried Caleb: Sampled some fusion cooking tho which'll be sick now I've got more peeps to get stuck into eating it Caleb: Getting a belly here Ali: 😍 Ali: oh I've missed you Caleb: won't have to for much longer 💚 Caleb: i'll be counting down them training days honest Ali: speaking of Ali: gotta run Ali: got class in an hour and best believe i need all this time to get those kids out the door Caleb: oh I be knowing Caleb: go get your genius on Ali: talk soon ✌ Ali: love you Caleb: te amo 💚💙💜