#im also just a hashtag introvert while she's a hashtag extrovert

[plounce]

my emoooootional issues and my physical iiiintimacy issuuuues

[vesna-v-irkutske]

I LOVE YOUR BLOG SM! ^_^ the academy maniac fd was lowkey dying, at least on my feed 😵‍💫but anyways while im at it, every read about nikita breaks my heart </3. I wonder how different his life would have been if he had a father present throughout. Also on one of your hashtags you put something along the lines of Nikita defending Artyom while Artyom threw his ass under the bus/completely blamed everything on him— UGH IM CRYING!! Poor baby. The fact Nikita even wrote a letter stating his regrets, he just needed true love and affection from his childhood :(

Thank you, glad you all find it interesting and helpful, that's all I wanted! 💌 Everything about Nikita makes me:

Yes, I feel like if Nikita had had a good authority figure in his life, someone to teach him what's good and bad, someone to encourage him and develop his interests, to boost his confidence, make him see good in himself, things might have been different. Unfortunately, his father was hardly present, and only occasionally. His mother worked a lot because they were poor. He had a grandma and an uncle, but I'm not sure about them. His grandmother helped them (she didn't live with them, but I'm not sure if this has always been the case), but his uncle didn't participate much, he wasn't interested in being a father-like figure. Nikita was extremely fearful, anxious and awkward, didn't initiate contact* and talk to people, that's why he was always alone. He had a VERY low opinion of himself. But that was at first. Later, children and teenagers realized that it was very easy to pick on someone SO quiet. And he was trying to protect himself by telling them to "die". He wanted them to get scared and fuck off him, but it didn't help and only made things worse. A lose-lose situation.

*I once read an article from a speech therapist (quoted below). That there are children who don't want anything. Well, they certainly wanted something, they just didn't ASK for anything, they didn't INITIATE contact, they hardly talked. Why? Because they were always overprotected, everything was done for them. I'm not saying that this is EXACTLY what was happening, although Nikita's mother said that she was kinda sheltering him. And please, don't bash her, she tried (I'll talk about it one day) and she knows her faults.

"Having a certain disorder that interferes with interaction with other people (lack of understanding of speech, difficulties associated with speaking), children early got used to the fact that no one understands them, or they don't understand anyone, or all at once. Parents, and more often grandmothers (but not all, of course), took on the role of a telepath and began to give everything to the child. Well, what was considered necessary, of course. The child hasn't had time to think about the toy yet — they have already bought a hundred. The child was sitting on his couch, and they put a chocolate bar in their mouth. On the one hand, they can be understood — the child doesn't speak, it's necessary to do something for them. On the other hand, they won't talk like that. What for? There's no need to, they put chocolate in their mouth, gave them a toy in their hands, put them on a chair, and turned on the cartoons. And here's a guy like that sitting in my office full of toys. He can name objects, he has no difficulty speaking. But he doesn't speak. And he doesn't take anything. He doesn't reach for anything. He doesn't look at anything. He looks at me and expects me to interact with him in some way. Despite the fact that he's not autistic (according to psychiatrists). Once, on another resource, I was shamed by the fact that not all children can be the same: some are introverts, others are extroverts. This one is an introvert. But no, my dears, he's not an introvert. Introverts ask for a drink. They ask to eat. They can choose between an apple and a pear, which they like best. After that child, others came to me. There is no speech, there is no initiative. I taught him to want something. I used to take him jumping on a trampoline like a kid. Blowing bubbles. I showed him robots, cars, slimes, and fidget toys. I waited for his eye to light up and he would reach for the object. And at that moment, I'll be able to give him a "give me" hint. Then the following happened. While the toy was on the table, he didn't take it. He asked only when he saw it in my hands, taking it as a signal that he could ask. But how should it be? Normally, a child can ask for something spontaneously, without waiting for a signal from adults. It's clear that he won't interrupt an adult, but at the appropriate moment he will ask or ask permission to take it. And it's not that I'm a stranger. At some point they get used to me. But we can't teach speech to a person who doesn't need anything. Speech is not just a set of words, it's a way of communication. These are requests, these are refusals, these are questions and answers. These are comments and suggestions. Therefore, first it's necessary to shake up the motivational sphere of the child, and then teach them something. So. What is needed for this? Reinforce the child's reaction many, many times. So that they learn that if they ask, you will give them. And if they don't ask, you won't give them (we don't starve a child, this only applies to interesting things, actions and treats). Some pick up on it quickly. Some need a lot of time. But they also start wanting and talking about it. Give me some candy. Pour some water. Let's go to the swing. I want to jump. Give me a hug. Kiss me. This is how speech is born."