#im ao delusional about them fr

[fallencrowkarma]

I think i figured out why i adore Alhaitham and Kaveh so much as a couple and i'm going to make this everyone elses problem now. Also i am so delusional because none of this is even close to canon but i do not care. Fight me /lh

This is going to be so cringe i am. So sorry(lie) Please don't expect a deep analysis of their relationship. I am simply a little guy with a single braincell.

Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship is so clearly queerplatonic to me. It's so obvious.

They don't love each other like other people do. Or at all really. Sure there's teasing touches and blushing cheeks and affection but it all goes so much deeper than that. They bicker, argue and fight, they lock each other out of the house, take and hide the other's belongings to be petty. Most times they can't stay in the same room for too long or pencils and papers break and tear from sheer frustration. They bite and claw into each other's skin with their words and actions. But what they never do is tear into each other's heart.

They have danced this dance for so long, they know exactly which words dig a little too far, which petty action is a bit too much. Neither of them would ever step that far on purpose. There's no point in mindlessly bringing pain into their shared space.

Being complete opposites keeps them on their toes, keeps their mind sharp. One has what the other lacks. Alhaitham cooling down Kaveh's strong emotions and Kaveh helping Alhaitham see a perspective he thought useless. Even if they'll never fully understand each other's passions and views - they don't need to. They are their own individual people after all.

And that is not to say they complete each other because they don't. Both of them would be able to live without the other. They don't need each other but they choose to be together again and again because that is what they want. Even on days where they hate each other more than anything, they still choose to come back together. There's no denying Kaveh and Alhaitham is better than Kaveh and Alhaitham.

And if you spend enough time around them you will be able to see the huge amount of respect, adoration and trust they have for each other.

For them, one look is enough to know. Their understanding of each other reaches so deep, the tilt of a head, the raise of a single eyebrow, the narrowing of eyes, it conveys more than a thousand words ever could. They invented their own language, hiding a different meaning under their words, meant to be understood only between them.

And if it comes down to it, both Alhaitham and Kaveh trust the other to have their back, no matter what. They don't entrust their hearts to the other, but their lives instead.

There's rarely (if ever) romantic dinners, no picnic under the stars, no fun shopping trips. Instead there's quietly working on opposite sides of the same room, taking a break under the stars while carrying the other home because he's too drunk to walk, meeting in the kitchen at 3am to get some coffee and sit in peaceful silence.

And like i said, it's not like there's no affection. They cuddle and kiss and cling to each other. They give each other gifts and bring coffee when work takes longer than usual. Nothing feels nicer than falling asleep and waking up with the other in their arms.

They are so used to being together that it's difficult to imagine it being otherwise. Not impossible but definitely much worse. So they stay, time and time again. It makes them both better in many ways.

They don't love each other, they aren't in love with each other. Their presence is engraved into the other's soul, leaving a mark so deep, so special, that a word like love - so shackled to certain expectations, feelings and traditions - could never get close to describing what they choose to have between them.

So yea - queerplatonic Kavetham is my favourite thing in the world (especially as a romance loving aromantic). It's fine if ppl don't agree with me of course! This is what my brain has molded their relationship into. Kaveh's and Alhaitham's release better not destroy my little fantasy>:( /lh

[milfhandholder]

Random Grell thingz I've accumulated in my head bcs I'm delusional but without context bcs I am going to write a legit novel abt this woman one day

Idc what anyone says, I am an avid believer of the fact that Grell has always been considered beautiful by her peers even in her human life

LIKE SHE'S THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER SUITOR OF HER SEASON, SHE WAS AN IT GIRL BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT AN IT GIRL IS

She's so beautiful that the Victorians could've started kpop PC first bcs of her and trade them like actual kpoppers

Grell always knew about her being queer (minus actual label bcs Victorian era duh) but not about her gender

"Wait so you people don't fantasize about having boobs? Not at all? No?"

It was maybe 6 years into her reaper life when she finally got the memo that "hey girlie, you're actually a girl"

Her crisis went a bit like this: straight man -> gay man?? -> 'oh no I like girls too' bi man -> died LMAO -> 'I hate everyone and I hate my gender' questioning -> 'maybe I have no gender at all. I like girls though' (she was exclusive to girls only so I guess??lesbian?? Who cheered) -> transwoman questioning -> !! transwoman bi !!

Was in a 'lavender marriage' with a closeted lesbian for maybe 2 - 3 years before her suicide. Grell sort of fell in love with her but understandably never confessed. Fast forward to present time AND GRELL IS HITTING THE FLOOR, SCREAMING, CRYING

She had a lot of rage as a young reaper because she never really got over 'my parents suck' mindset that stood by her as she died

HATED WILLIAM. As much as I love the OVA, I will stand by my words that it would’ve been so much more interesting if Grell buried / was embarassed about her crush and acted like a dick towards him BECAUSE WHY, OF ALL THE MEN IN DISPATCH, DID IT HAVE TO BE WILLIAM T SPEARS

Mellowed out eventually and cool character development happened

Has more experience with and confidence in dating girls, she's very anxious (and perhaps frightful) about men reciprocating her advances

Being made "an experience" does that to you

Fun fact: she's the first and only woman William ever had a crush on. Good taste dude

She was projecting her ex wife A LOT onto Madam but it's ok bcs it was vice versa you see, Madam projected too BUT THEN THESE BITCHES TALKED IT OUT and everything is all ok and cool and OH GOD GRELL NOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭

Speaks German and French, is the go to translator for German Dispatch businesses until Ludger (and eventually Sascha joined in as a bonus and a translator) was forced to sharpen his English

Now for the E discourse.... someone made a typo one day and she went with it

Grell: You see, when you go to France, they make you get a name in French. That's why I can go by Grell Sutcliff or Grelle Sutcliffe

Ron, an idiot who has never been anywhere except his hometown: oh shit fr??

Eric's her first ACTUAL reaper friend which is sad ngl LMAOOO

Firm believer that the reapers have mentorships for gifted students that started in Ron's year and that Grell was her mentor READ MY RON FIC, IM OBSESSED WITH THEM

Mentoring Ron (aka a few years before Jack the Ripper) was the moment where she was the healthiest, mentally

Then she divorced Madam, had a falling out with William and oops she regressed el em ao. Don't tell any of her friends though, they'd start annoying her to get better

People older and the same age as her are wildly terrified of her. This is in contrast to (most) juniors who are so in love with the idea of her

Harbors a lot of guilt, grief, rage, anger, jealousy, insecurity, narcissism, etc. She's just a good actress

Her butler persona was her mocking three people at once: her father's (brunette) appearance, her mother's wish for Grell to be more obedient, and Grell's old self that let people walk all over her for the sake of maintaining her family name

Her family is rich rich though she can't remember for what. She doesn't really care eitherway so

Can be very insensitive!! It doesn't help that she's friends with people who'd give the same energy back (Eric and Othello) or people who just don't care enough (William)

She learned how to hold her tongue when she realized Ron was genuinely upset with her rude comments. Ironically, Ron learned how to have thicker skin because of said comments

Likes dogs, sorry Sebastian

Good at fencing! Not much else in other sports!!

She hates sports sm, they make her sweat and they are tedious and they're exhausting and THEY'RE BORING

The only ranged weapon she'd try out is a gun.

She's no wuss

Yeah that's all that I can think of lmao