#im booping u in spirit (not evil this time)

[peskyfirefly]

I need you to know that ilysm that I memorialized one of your evil boops to cherish it forever and all of eternity, you little evil boopin' apricot <3

heheehehehe >:)

signed yours forever, evil mishmish

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: “Man up and be a farther, ZACK!”

before rebegin Ryan (frost crystal) changed his name to Sam recently so if you’ve been following our antics for a while know that Frost Crystal is played by Sam. carry on~

we leave the earthen sanctum as it is collapsing. Envoy’s wing is crippled and the Monk tried to save her but got his arm smashed by falling rocks. the everything is crumbling and our witcher almost dies so many times!

DM: roll reflex. elizander: *rolls* DM: okay you trip but flow into a summer salt so you’re still running. elizander: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

everyone gets out BUT Zack!

me: Bardic knowledge! DM: you sense that someone is in trouble. me: I cast fish face folly! DM: odds or evens? me: eeevens? ryan: Odds just to be evil. me: *rolls 17* ryan: ODDS! DM: you cast FishFace’s folly. there is now a moose standing before you. Envoy: *silently screaming* DM: hes eating walnuts. he was gonna get attacked by a bear. me: oh okay. i roll to pet the moose. Envoy: *nat20* me: OF COURSE SHE WOULD! Ryan: this is envoy’s attention span: we are in danger! save the frie- OMG A MOOOSE!

there is now a moose named Oscar that hangs around the pokeball.

*WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO SAVE ZACK. ITS GONNA GET GRAPHIC PRETTY FAST.* 

Zack was in the mouth of the cave but it was collapsing. Tim was rolling horribly and fishface folly was our best bet but it failed so we went with the ranger’s idea: a arrow with a rope tied to it. the original plan was to shot the arrow and hit a leg or something fleshy so it wouldn’t be so bad and would be easier to heal. unfortunately Tim wanted to try and grab the arrow with his good hand. im pretty sure you know where this is going.... the reflex wasn’t high enough so the arrow shoots threw Zacks hand- and into his and out his elbow. his bone is splintered in the process but he can still grab firmly onto the rope. Spine (in his sadistic glee) helps Valekimin pull on the rope to get Zack out of the still collapsing cave. hes at 5 health and is confirmed for worst rope burn/road rash in the history of ever. it was taking too long how ever and Zack was bleeding out, so the ranger has her bear yank on the rope. this cause the arrow to go half way back into Zack’s arm.  once hes out the ranger (in a very bad case of miss wording) yanks the rope and arrow out of his arm, knocking him out. the necromancer boops him on the nose to give him 10 false life but he goes out again when we do the math for the rope burn ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ARM and the bleeding hes doing so the necromancer heals him again. why am i including this you ask?

lindsy: i give the bloody, gory bits of the rope to Rose. Rose: *takes the rope. licks it.* Spine:....do you like it??? Rose: >_>.....>u>....*starts pealing the gore off very slowly* Tim: *horrified into going unconscious AGAIN.*

*OKAY YOU’RE GOOD!*

we all go running off in our own ways to avoid a land slide (Envoy Nazul and Zack are in the pokeball, Spine blink daggers away, Vale flies with her companions, Frost Crystal plan shifts and Elizander....)

DM: roll reflex. coolie: *rolls* DM: you land on your hands and spring into several back flips before righting yourself. you keep running. elizander: FUCK YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSS! (we actidently left him behind....>_>)

so alicaria goes to the plan where all the deitys are and finds no one there so she goes back to the normal plain HOW EVER....

Vale and Spine try to tree teleport and end up in Frank’s forest.

vale: *casts speak with plants* Frank? hello? Frank: Sup bruh? Ryan: *facepalm* hes a teenager now....

Vale has to go kill a evil yant to prove her worth to her qticotal and spine goes with to watch.

*vale and evil radio active yant fighting* Ryan: is there such thing a necrotic popcorn?

Alicaria brings everyone to the steam punk gnome village. its very bad. Envoy wants to stay and help but she needs to go visit Frank and do some things so they tree-port there. once there, Envoy does a song and dance of prayer to the moose asking for advice. she is told to return to the gnome city and help the people there, and that there is a meeting with all the deities at the moment.

Envoy: okay. i’m going to get some wood for a personal project and then head back to cogsworth! me: *nat 1 on finding some wood* Envoy: *picks up stick* this should be enough! Elizander: Envoy that stick isn’t enough for what ever project you’re doing. Envoy: and how would YOU know me I-Don’t-Have-WoodWorking? elizander: what are you making...? Envoy: rings. elizander: that stick would make 1/3 of a ring, Envoy....

Elizander and alicaria look for a log for Envoy and Alicaria nat 1s.

DM: you turn into a tree. you are comfortable as a tree. its very nice. Envoy: *flies up and sits in the Alicaria tree* Issac shelab and the griffion: *same* Elizander: come on alicaria! we need to go! Envoy: you ARE my only way of getting back to the steam punk city... Sam:.....im a tree :D Alicaria: *cats vines. lifts elizander up* coolie: PUT ME DOWN! Sam: IM A TREE MOTHER FUCKER! :D

evenutally Envoy (who can’t fly, is too far away to ride the yak or teleport) decides to ask Frank the blue flying moose tree for some help.

Frank: sup bruh. Envoy: Sup man.  Frank: wut ya need? Envoy: my ride is kinda tree right now. shes chillin so i ain’t gonna throw off her grove, but i promised the BFM id help out at cogworth. any ideas on how to get me there? Frank: nah bruh...sorry. Envoy: thats alright homie *pat the tree* Frank: wait. hang on i have an idea. *summons tree spirit* yo homes help her out. Spirit: why doesn’t she just fly? Envoy: this ones broken *pats wing* Spirit: *fixes it* eh... still got a job to do.

the spirit lifts Envoy high into the air and we all think shes gonna get thrown. she gets planted into the ground instead and she is sent flying through roots in the ground. still fun! 

DM: you stop. everything is dark. Envoy: *remembering everything Spine taught her about being buried alive, she takes some dirt and drops it to find where ‘up’ is* (this is funny cause it took Spine 12 tries to figure out what direction UP was when he too was shot underground and was trying to dig out)

Envoy pops out of the ground and, with no best friend necromancers to hurt with her ultra awesome flute that heals people, she spends the next 24 hours healing wounds and lifting spirits with her music. mean while...

Envoy: eli- elizander: Envoy. Envoy: i can’t get her to let you go- Elixander: EN-Voooy. Envoy: and i promised the blue flying moose i would help- Elizander: EN. VOY. Envoy: IGattaGoImSorryBye Elizander: DONT LEAVE ME HERE ENVOY! *envoy gets planted* Elizander: ENVOY!....ENVOY DONT LEAVE!....EEENNNVVVOOOYY! Alicaria: do you want up? Elizander: fuck you do you want to play chess???

Elizander plays chess and alicaria is a shore loser. she puts him on frank.

eventually Zack comes out the pokeball with the yak and he tries to help Eliznder but drops him. Eli hangs upside down thanks to the vines alicaria cast to catch him and the Yak boops him about with her snout before eating the vines.

Elizander: i want to go home... Shiba: *bumps the witcher* Elizander: oh? you... you want me to get on? okay. *gets on the yak* are you gonna take me to Cogsworth or- Shiba: *starts to buck him around, rodeo style. this is how she has fun*

Vale kills the thing and Spine takes the remains into his necropolis so he has a new friend.

when we FINALLY get everyone back together, Envoy has a surprise for everyone! While healing the gnomes non stop and keeping spirits high, the gnomes gave her the title “The Healer” (she gets a +10 to heal checks now) and as a thanks for her work, they gave her a air ship.

Tim: so wait- me: I HAVE A AIR SHIP YALL! WOOT WOOT! Ryan: wait JUST her??? DM: YES JUST HER! shes the only one that was helping the city. its HERS.

the wrecking crew has a air ship now. its piloted by flick!

Envoy got some wood along the way and after we fix Zack and stuff and blah im getting tired LETS GET TO THAT TITLE, SHALL WE?

so while Nazul was a baby, Zack decided to be his dad since Slyvia was bent on being his mom. adopting the assassin was pretty nice, and Zack even continued to refier to Nazul as his son when we fixed him. (this is hella sweet cause Nazul never had a mom or dad so this is like major awesome for him).

so what does our grateful neutral evil Assassin ghost boy do? WHY GO BACK TO THE DWARTH CITY AND BUY DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH ZACK’S MONEY AND NAME!

he gets caught at first. Drawth: arn’t you that prick that stole everyone’s money while the trolls were attacking? Nazul: are you sure it wasn’t the TROLLS who stole your money? DM: Roll Bluff. Nazul: *Nat 20 cause when DOESNT this group get nat 20s???* Drawth: YOU’RE RIGHT! DAMN TROLLS!

he gets up to alot of mischief. he also turns all the dwarths racist towards gnomes. eventually he gets caught caught and is sent to the king.

King: you bought the town ale with your farther’s money, sent the lot into a drunkin rampage resulting in many citizens breaking into the royal whine cellar, you cheated two times in the pits- Nazul: i was having too much fun. (he killed a orger, a 4 armed gorllia, and a lizard person. he broke the rules cause his rune brought him back to life 2 times) king: -and all this in your farther’s name. how do you think he will react to this? king: *teleports Zack there* this your son?

the result is Zack owes the drawths 100,000,000 gold OR he can return the cane algres stole from them.

and at the moment hes buying cheese for master spliter so he can be level 20 with the rest of us.

SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

[irregodless]

so like. id post a real review of the bye bye man but none of you care. nor should you.

the bye bye man was just plain bad. it wasnt hilariously bad. it wasnt even cringe-ily bad. it was just plain bad.

if youre morbidly MORBIDLY curious i recommend you go see it ONLY on a nice saturday night when theres more likely to be more people watching it. those are the ONLY circumstances you should see the bye bye man under. because with any luck youll have an audience like ours where nobody took it seriously and you could all laugh about how bad it is together.

it’s not worth renting and its def not worth buying. not even for a small viewing with your friends. fifteen bucks is also a steep price to pay for a communal bonding experience, so allow me to recommend: not watching it at all. or tbh paying for a better movie and sneaking in to see it

its only any good with an audience that makes fun of it. and even then it was only good for about fifteen minutes.

in case youre morbidly curious but also dont want to LITERALLY waste your money; a review underneath:

first and foremost the bye bye man himself looks like lord palpatine and voldemort had a kid

mixed with that beauty and the beast ripoff with the guy and the tattoos

MIXED with ruvik from the evil within

now what IS it?

its a worse version of freddy krueger. nightmare on elm street had charm to it, yknow? it was kind of a comedy. it made fun of horror. freddy was an enjoyable character. there was also a story behind it, even if it took a few sequels to get to

spoilers oncoming, obviously

the bye bye man, seemingly, is an escapee from the teenagers prison part of fosters home for imaginary friends because the first and only time he was every mentioned coming up was when a kid blamed killing his entire family on “the bye bye man.”

the reason its a ripoff of freddy krueger, by the way, is because the bye bye man only exists as long as anybody knows his name. as long as someone remembers he exists he DOES exist. which makes it an obnoxious and probably lame metaphor about how we “give our thoughts power”

the film also neglects to tell what would happen if you said “bye-bye, man” to someone. we dont know if that would summon him

but basically what happens is someone learns his name and because LOL ITS SO RIDICULOUS LOL (the movie acknowledges this but acts poorly on it by not even making it interesting or a big deal) people spread it and tell others. but theres no reason hes named the bye bye man. theres no big fuck at the end where some deep hidden meaning (or even obvious meaning in that he makes you go bye bye) where it ALL MAKES SENSE AND GIVES U CHILLS

if they wanted it to be better, to prove how ridiculous it was we could “give power” to this idea and spread it because its silly they LITERALLY just should have gone with “peepee poopoo man” like honestly

but we get 0 backstory as to where he came from. not even like. “OOO EVIL INDIAN VOODOO LOL” like NOTHING WE DONT KNOW WHERE HE CAME FROM THEY DIDNT CARE THEY JUST WANTED TO THROW SOME SPOOKY AMBIANCE AND SOME JUMPSCARES TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME MONEY IT SUCKS SO MUCH

anyway

once you know the name you start hallucinating and all you can think about is the bye bye man and you end up coming into danger the longer it is until something bad happens.

HOWEVER

only one character dies because of this. she sees a car crash and a dying family and runs to save them (which is the same way the family of the person she was driving with died, which means it would have made more sense for HIM to see that and get worked up over it. not to mention she was canonically sensitive to spirits so just by being in close proximity to him itd make sense shed see their death scene which means we dont even know that the bye bye man caused that to happen. and shes the only case of the bye bye man “killing” anyone. just knowing his name torments people with intrusive thoughts and nightmares which could be explained by................................ mold or mental illness.)

so bc you know his name you get nightmares and nono thoughts and the only way to kill him is to kill everyone who knows about him so they cant spread his name. but somehow he always sticks around. BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE WHO KNEW NOBODY COULD KNEW HIS NAME. CARVED THE BYE BYE MANS FUCKING NAME INTO A DRESSER FOR EVERYONE TO FUCKING FIND. IF HE KNEW NOBODY COULD KNOW HIS NAME. WHY DID HE PUT IT THERE? OR DID THE BYE BYE MAN PUT IT THERE? BUT CAN THE BYE BYE MAN STILL EXIST IF NOBODY KNOWS? CAN HE MANIPULATE THE PHYSICAL PLANE? if the bye bye mans name exists on paper but nobody knows it, by platos/socrates forms does he still exist in some capacity?

let me make a list of all the things the bye bye man HIMSELF has been shown to do DIRECTLY (there is no proof he even causes the nightmares)

fed his demon dog dead people

randomly appeared in the house

scratched up the bricks on the fence outside the house

poked the guy in the forehead (im not even joking. he doesnt do shit at the end. he just boops the guy on the head to the tune of the doorbell ringing and then the guy kills himself because its “too much” apparently)

the bye bye man did nothing wrong

the bye bye man LITERALLY DID NOTHING WRONG

HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING

HE JUST WANTED TO FEED HIS DOG. AND BY ALL CONCEPTS, U COULD JUST SEE THAT AS HIM BEING A DEATH GOD. THE REAPER. HIS DOG COMES AND EATS UR BODY AS A REPRESENTATION OF DECAY (since his dog is like. giant and skinless itself.)

so yeah the movie doesnt even prove that the bye bye man is doing anything actively malicious. maybe the bye bye man WANTS people to forget about him maybe he doesnt want people getting into his business

so.

-no backstory -harmless antagonist -boring jumpscares -unlikable characters (he has ONE intrusive thought his gf is cheating on him with his bff and “SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE!!!!” and immediately starts grilling them, assuming they ARE having an affair) which brings me to: -barely anything happens and they start freaking out because somethings wrong (she zoned out and doodled in her notebook and he had a nightmare, and suddenly theyre super defensive about it) -a twist at the end that doesnt even ultimately matter -FUCKING OPENING FOR A SEQUEL LIKE PLEASE FUCK OFF -stupid name with a DECENT concept that was executed horribly because they didnt know wtf they were doing. the concept, btw, was only DECENT. and even if it had been a dumb metaphor about the power we give to ideas, maybe that should have been focused more heavily on than being a throwaway line ONCE during the beginning of the movie -annoying seance scene with nonbelievers and SUPER DUPER REAL PSYCHIC, WE SWEAR

it was just bad dont watch it

EDIT: also they did nothing with the fact that “ooh, you the audience thought it was silly but u all kno his name and told ppl and everyone is @ risk.... now U ALL NEED TO DIE!!!! MUAHAHALOLHAHA”