#im doin the same thing with alcohol rn. well im being a little more indulgent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kraviolis · 9 months

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anyways i got sidetracked from what i was originally gonna post. now that im off my medication for the foreseeable future (with minor exceptions like whenever my mom shares their adderall with me) ive become more acutely aware than ever before exactly how genetically predisposed to addiction and substance abuse i really am

#krav talks #im actively craving alcohol at any time of the day #and only after i got drunk ONCE #the cravings arent severe but its more of like “man drinking would make me feel so much better rn a drink sounds so good”#sorta the same as basically craving like a donut or something #ive experienced this before with smoking when i was like 15 and stole a pack on my mom's cigarettes #i would have a smoke every morning when everyone was asleep but never developed a full addiction bcus i literally forgot where i put them #but that nicotine craving has never gone away #and ive kept a close eye on it since then bcus FUCK being addicted to nicotine that shit is so expensive #i literally cannot afford to be addicted to anything i can barely buy myself shampoo rn #but if someone offered me a cigarette.... yeah i'd take it #im doin the same thing with alcohol rn. well im being a little more indulgent #bcus alcohol isnt as cancer-inducing as smoking #and its more socially acceptable #but yknow. keeping an eye on it. being self-aware of my own habits.#last night i really wanted to drink but instead i had like 7 coffees so im all good #oh im 100% addicted to caffeine honestly #for a brief moment when i was 18 im pretty sure i was close to an adderall addiction #but then i stayed awake for 72 hours that one time and heard people whispering my name and thought my food was made of maggots & ants #so i cut that shit out for the most part. my brain functions & sleeping habits have never been the same since then :)

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