#but yknow. keeping an eye on it. being self-aware of my own habits.

[kraviolis]

anyways i got sidetracked from what i was originally gonna post. now that im off my medication for the foreseeable future (with minor exceptions like whenever my mom shares their adderall with me) ive become more acutely aware than ever before exactly how genetically predisposed to addiction and substance abuse i really am

[lxserkawa]

Late Night Showers {K.B}

GENRE: Fluff, Slight Angst

WORD COUNT: 1.5k+

SUMMARY: One wrong turn leads to so many right choices.

WARNINGS: Mentions of insecurity

A/N: Hehe self-indulgent Bokuto x Chubby!Reader content 

Bokuto had a habit of getting lost. It wasn’t a good habit, nor a convenient one, but it was one he had. He even had a habit of getting lost places he’d been before. Places like Shinzen High. He’d been here multiple times for training camps, and yet he found himself lost.

It was around 10 pm, and while everyone else was either asleep or getting ready to, he was out searching for the bathrooms. Maybe his current situation would be different if Akaashi had not been out like a light right after 9.

Speaking of lights, one shone from underneath the door in front of Bokuto. Thinking he had finally succeeded in finding his destination, he happily opened the door. He immediately froze.

This was not the boy’s bathroom.

Bokuto let his jaw drop at the sight of a girl- a very pretty girl- halfway through stripping off her clothes. He had almost no shame as he let his eyes scan her body, seeing the way her plush thighs pressed against each other, and how her hips looked a lot wider and softer than other girls he knew. 

No, this was certainly not the boy’s bathroom.

He was quick to make a surprisingly silent exit, but not before imprinting her figure into his mind and ignoring the blood rushing to his face… and somewhere else. In another swift movement, he made his way down the hall to the boy’s bathrooms.

***

You weren’t an idiot. You were well aware someone had walked in on you and quickly left. Part of you was glad, they didn’t have to see any more of you and you got your privacy. But that twisted, insecure corner of your brain laughed, thinking of how no one could even bear to see you.

You stepped under the warm water of your late-night shower, your mind fogging up like the mirror you had spent too much time in front of earlier. Being so horribly, deeply insecure was honestly tiring, and these showers were some of the only time you got away from that. 

You did, however, dread when it came time to go back to the room you had with the other girls. All the other managers, including the ones from your own team, didn’t look anything like you. You couldn’t help but feel less than them.

As the second 3rd year manager for Karasuno, you’d seen Kiyoko be hit on a million times, by your own team too. And now with Yachi, you could already sense she’d get some longing gazes, considering how adorable she was. You… you’d been with Karasuno since your first year and all you’d ever received were quick glances, that were either filled with humour or disgust.

Sighing, you made your way back to the girl’s room. Shinzen High had a ridiculous amount of staircases and hallways to get through, and you were glad you had a relatively good sense of direction.

However, that sense of direction was quickly cut off by someone barreling into you and knocking you down the stairs you were halfway up.

It seemed you were the one who had been hit hardest, as you tumbled down the stairs alone. Whoever had knocked you down gasped from above you, and you could hear heavy footsteps as they came down to help. You went to push yourself up, but two unnecessarily strong arms pulled you up on their own.

You almost gasped yourself. They had managed to pull you up alone and did it effortlessly. Finally looking up, you immediately recognized Fukurodani’s ace player, Kotaro Bokuto. The owlish boy had basically adopted Hinata (who you had already adopted the first day you met him) the second he saw him. 

“I am so sorry oh my god I was trying to get back to my room before Akaashi found out I got lost again but I got lost again and then I hit you and now you’re at the bottom of the stairs and so am I cause I helped you up and whoa you’re really pretty up close but I’m sorry!” 

It was a long-winded apology, but his last comment brought heat to your cheeks. You, yourself, couldn’t deny that Bokuto was incredibly attractive, and the fact he thought you were pretty was enough to have your flushed and stuttering. You also couldn’t help the fact you were staring into his golden eyes and he into your E/C eyes.

“Bokuto, there you are.” The calm voice from the top of the stairwell finally made you pull away from his gaze. Both of you were flustered and awkward, Bokuto almost tripping up the stairs as he made his way towards Akaashi. You stood frozen for a little longer, wondering if any of that had been real.

God, you hoped it had been.

***

The rest of training camp past as smoothly as a bunch of rowdy boys playing volleyball non-stop could realistically go. You’d had a few more run-ins with Bokuto, but none as intense as that first one. Nothing was going between you.

Sure, you shared glances across the gym, and maybe all of Karasuno and Fukurodani had picked up on it, and Bokuto found himself falling asleep to the thought of you and sometimes you would be so distracted by his games that you forgot to keep score, but nothing was going on.

You were walking out of the gym, Yachi and Kiyoko beside you, when all three of you heard an enthusiastic shout of “HEY HEY HEY!!!” from behind you. You hadn’t even noticed the dopey smile on your face at the sound of his voice until Kiyoko spoke up.

“So… when did this happen?” You could almost hear the smirk on her face, making you stop dead in your tracks. The small giggles from Yachi didn’t go unheard either.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about ‘Yoko…”

“Oh, yknow, just you and Fukurodani’s ace. What’s up with that.” Yachi couldn’t hide her giggle at your red face. You stuttered over your words, before simply choosing to walk away from the pair. Their laughter could still be heard behind you.

Was there something going on between you and Bokuto? You didn’t think so. He was just… a friend. You were just… his friend. Oh shit. You found yourself hating saying that. You already knew the thoughts of you and Bokuto would be haunting you all day, so you tried your best to bury them down.

That didn’t last long when the boy of your dreams thoughts bounced up beside you. It wasn’t hard to see how excited he was, and you found yourself utterly enamoured by his demeanor. You wondered if it had been his previous win against Ubugawa that had made him so excited, or (your face burned at the thought) had it been you.

“Good afternoon, Bokuto-san.” You smiled. Your new found habit of calling him ‘Bokuto-san’ had come from the many times you had heard his friend Akaashi address him as such.

“Y/N,” He drew out the last syllable of your name, a cute pout appearing on his face, “I told you to just call me Kotaro. Especially if I get to call you Y/N.”

Well, who were you to say no to that pout.

“I’m sorry. Good afternoon, Kotaro.” His pout immediately switched into a wide smile, which made that familiar feeling bubble up in your stomach and chest again. You’d barely known Bok- Kotaro a week, so why did he have such a strong effect on you.

“So!” His loud voice caught the attention of everyone nearby, and you didn’t miss your Karasuno boys winking and making kissy faces. Sighing, you turned back to the owlish man, a soft smile on your face. “I was wondering if I could ask for your number…”

That caught your attention. 

“And then, um, I was wondering...” You had to admit, you hadn’t seen Kotaro this awkward since your first encounter. He always seemed so confident and boisterous. “If I could maybe ask you out on a date.”

Frozen. That was the only way to describe how you felt right now. In your frozen state, you hadn’t said anything, leaving Bokuto to become quickly dejected. Just as he went to walk away, you crashed your body into his. It was an awkward hug, kind of like when he knocked you down the stairs.

“I’d… I’d love that, Kotaro.” 

It surprised you. You had expected to go your whole life alone, wallowing in your insecurities, accompanyed only by a few stray cats as you grew old and gray by yourself. But here you were, only on the cusp on 18, holding onto a boy who had made you feel more special in only a week than anyone had in so many years.

And as years would pass, and you and Bokuto would grow older and add a house, ring and child to your story, you still took those late night showers, forever remembering the fateful day you fell, in more ways than one.