#im feeling so lost in everything and i just need my min and ryan so bad to feel better...

[1980ssunflower]

I miss them both so much,,,,

[hiimsociallyawkward]

Dear Lara Jean,

HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.

ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.

first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks

the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.

the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.

literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.

WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.

THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON

OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was

FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.

in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...

this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.

and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him

fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.

you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.

They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.

AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.

again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't

THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.

literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.

ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner

and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him

remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??

and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.

BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.

ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS

LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.

the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.

when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.

when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.

this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH

the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.

UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T

"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s

Some redeemable qualities

while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw

WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.

they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.

they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.

the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??

at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.

chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.

some notable quotes by her, the queen

"I'm dead inside"

not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around

peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma

I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.

my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see

again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.

there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.

ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)

p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye

[punkcherries]

its 4 am i have no impulse control i finished writing the very bad blurb thing its ryan+min and its not good but im posting it under the cut here anyway <3 <3 (uh theres mentions/allusions toward underage drinking and also self harm and also internalized homophobia but its not like gnarly ok ok tfrtwser??????)

Min slipped his arm around Ryan’s shoulders, his hand brushing Ryan’s neck, before pulling him close for the photo. It was only a brief moment, but the afterimage of Min’s skin on his made Ryan’s hair stand on end, and his face flush. Not like the fuzz in his face from drinking when he really shouldn’t, or the warmth in his cheeks while flirting with a girl, it ran across from ear to ear, radiating heat. ‘This is wrong,’ he thought to himself, ‘This can’t keep happening.’ The click of the camera barely registered to him, the world was just noise. Just as quickly as it happened, Min was pulled away by someone at the party calling for his attention, snapping Ryan back to Earth. He placed his hand to the back of his neck, the bare air felt like ice in place of Min’s jacket. He turned his eyes back over to Min.

“Ah, uh, thank you...!” Min called back to whoever with a sheepish chuckle, and Ryan’s face turned almostly morosely soft. His heart thumped harder, and harder, he could feel it in his head, and he felt fit to burst, until, “Ryan? You okay?” Min’s voice broke through the dead air of the dance music, and Ryan looked like a deer in headlights.

“Uhh I….” Ryan spoke hesitantly, what he’d wanted to say all night and for who knows how long before bubbling up in his chest. He looked Min in the face only for a moment, and his throat suddenly felt strangled, “I just…. Uhh….” Ryan glanced around the room for a moment, before taking in a breath, “I…. kinda feel like…. I’m, uh, forgetting something important….” He made something up.

“Uhhh…. Oh, did you remember to put your guitar back in the van after the show?” Min gestured to the backstage door off to his right. Ryan snapped his fingers, “Y’know, I…. don’t remember! Better go check,” Ryan forced a laugh, slipping past Min, “Make sure no one’s touchin’ the goods. Be right back!” Ryan pushed his way past the other partygoers and backstage as quickly as he could, leaning against the door behind him and letting out a disgruntled groan. “What is wrong with you?” He whispered to himself, pausing a moment before standing back up straight. To his surprise, there, still backstage, was in fact his guitar, or at least the case. His brows furrowed, of course he really forgot that. Such an empty headed move. Ryan went and checked the case for all his things. Guitar, picks, strings, everything was where it was supposed to be, so he zipped it up and carried it out the back door to the tour van.

Walking round the side, he brushed his hand against the uneven surface, covered in slightly chipped paint from the Chicken Choice Judy mural he and Min painted on it about a year or so ago, before getting to the back doors. His mind raced as he placed his case in the back of the van, ‘You shouldn’t say anything to him. You have something good now, you can’t ruin it,’ Ryan studied the stickers on his guitar case, the razor blade in particular stuck out in his mind, and a quiet wave of a dull, stinging phantom pain washed over his thighs, ‘Not again.’ He shook his head a moment, before sighing deeply, and closing the van doors. Turning to leave, he let out a startled yelp, seeing a figure standing behind him.

“Woah, woah, it’s just me!” 

It was Min.

“Dude, don’t sneak up on me like that...!” Ryan scrambled to play it off cool, but Min gave him a puzzled look. 

“I... called your name, like, twice.”

“Oh….”

Ryan cleared his throat, and smiled nervously, “Sorry, guess I just got a little, uh….” He glanced at the van for a second, “...Lost in thought.”

“Yeah, are you…. Sure you’re okay?” Ryan could hear Min’s voice starting to go soft, the kind of soft it gets when he’s worried, and his heart rose up to the end of his throat. Ryan forced a smile and gave a dismissive gesture,

“Yeah, of course! Just got hit with lots of ehh, song ideas and, y’know how I think at, like, a thousand miles a minute, I probably just didn’t notice!” He chuckled, slipping past Min again, barely looking him in the face at all, “Nothin’ to worry about!”

“Ryan,” Min’s voice stopped Ryan in his tracks. It wasn’t upset, or angry, just…. Worried, and…. Disappointed? Regardless, it dropped Ryan’s heart like an anvil from his throat to the pit of his stomach. “You know you can talk to me,” Min placed a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to, I just want to be there for you.” His voice was so tender. Ryan turned only slightly, just to look at Min, whose concerned expression turned to a gentle, reassuring smile at seeing his face.

Ryan looked away, folding his arms just a bit, and Min’s hand brushed down Ryan’s shoulder to his back, slowly at first. It felt almost as if it pulled Ryan’s breath in, and Ryan closed his eyes. In that same motion, as Min’s hand pressed against Ryan’s back, travelling back up, it pulled the words right out from his lips.

“Min-Gi, I’m in love with you.”

The silence that set in deafened Ryan, his vital organs felt as though they’d been filled and bruised with boulders, and his head burned a dizzying burn, as if the fire and brimstone of Hell were trying to crawl out of his body for the unholy thing he’d just said. He opened his eyes, to see Min, red faced and shocked, and he clenched the leather of his jacket sleeves tightly in hand. The choking feeling in his throat came back, and he couldn’t bear to look at Min, “I….” His shaky voice barely scraped above a whisper, “I’m sorry, I…. I know it’s crazy, but…. Just…. I….” He started to trail off as the heat in his face brought out tears in his eyes, when Min’s hand suddenly pressed against Ryan’s back, pulling him into an embrace. 

Ryan’s eyes were wide, as Min held him close with one arm, and the other stroked the back of his head, fingers combing through his hair, Min’s breath shooting down his neck and his ear as Min whispered in a voice only for him, “I love you, too, Ryan.”

Time stopped. Ryan’s tense body softened, and he wrapped his arms around Min’s waist, burying his face against the crook of his neck. For what felt like an eternity and yet not long enough, they held each other there in the parking lot of a dingy local live venue, just a few minutes out from Min’s college campus, although it felt like anything but. Until Ryan sniffled, and Min pulled away in concern. “Ryan, are you…?” The salty burn of tears bore into Ryan’s cheeks, but there was a smile on his face, and Min smiled back, wiping Ryan’s cheek with his thumb, “Geez, you had me worried there.” They both snickered, “Sorry, sorry….” Ryan’s voice was still a little weak as he sniffled again, and wiped his eyes with the heels of his palms, groaning. 

There was a beat of silence, before Ryan spoke up again, “You…. Really mean that.… Yeah?” He only realized how silly a question it sounded after he said it.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I…?”

“I…. Dunno…. I guess I was just…. Nervous…?” Ryan shrugged, his voice trailing off a bit, “I dunno.”

“What’d you think was gonna happen?” Min’s face turned from humored to concerned.

“I…. I guess, I was worried that you’d…. Not…. Wanna be around me anymore, if I told you, I mean. So….”

Min paused a moment, before smiling again, “Ryan, you’d be my best friend before anything else, even if I didn’t feel the same. When I said you’re stuck with me, I meant it.” He laughed, and Ryan did, too.

“You said that, like, what? 2-ish years ago?”

“And I’ve been with you ever since, haven’t I?”

“Fair point!” Ryan chuckled and sighed. He fell against Min’s chest again, snaking his arms up and around his neck. “I’m glad.”

Min’s face turned soft, and he pressed his face into Ryan’s hair, stroking his back with one hand, swaying ever so slightly together. It didn’t take long before Min mindlessly pressed a kiss against Ryan’s head, and Ryan looked up at him with a surprised smile. Min looked slightly confused for a brief moment before fully processing what he’d just done and getting flustered, “Ah, sorry, was…. That too forward?” Ryan didn’t reply, not with words, he just cupped Min’s face in one of his hands, closed his eyes, and gently pressed his lips to Min’s. It was only a brief moment, but the sensation of Ryan’s lips on his burned into Min, who smiled and laughed nervously. “Too forward?” Ryan teased, and they both chuckled.

Suddenly, the sound of the back door to the venue caused the pair to part in a panic. “Oh, there you guys are. What’re you doin out here? Party’s not over yet!” A woman in orange flannel called out to them, and they looked at each other a moment. Ryan gave a disinterested shrug, and Min nodded. “I…. think we’re gonna have to head out early. Long day and stuff. Sorry!” Min called back to the woman, and she shrugged, “Suit yourself.” before going back inside. Ryan shuffled around in his pocket for a moment, before pulling out the keys to the van, smiling at Min, and eagerly hopping round to the driver’s side of the car. Min paused, and touched his lips with his fingers a moment, before getting a goofy grin and following suit to the passenger side.

Ryan started the engine as Min closed his door, and after shifting into gear, Ryan’s hand slid from the stick to Min’s hand, which rest on the compartment between their seats, and gave it a squeeze. Min tried to fight the silly look on his face, “Both hands on the wheel, uh…. dork.” 

Ryan laughed, “You totally wanted to call me something else, didn’t you?” Min stammered over his words, much to Ryan’s amusement, “It’s okay, you can call me “babe” if you wanna.” he teased and winked, and Min covered his face with his hand as it heated up. “Cute!” Ryan chuckled again, “Shut up and drive!” Min groaned, barely concealing his own laughter, “Alright, alright! No need to be pushy!” Ryan joked, before pulling out of the lot, and driving off.

[anonwords]

monday october 12

  i dont really know what to write about since nothing interesting happens often. and i don’t want to write anything hopeful since the virus is still at a critical level in the us, and election day is less than a month away which just adds to the stress and grimness, since all the polls say biden will beat trump but that exactly what was predicted on election day 4 years ago. tr*mp says if he wins, then its the will of the people but if he loses its rigged and he won’t transfer power. they asked this mf point blank to denounce white supremacy and he told his followers to stand by. i hate thinking about all that because it’s scary to think what will happening the future if he’s elected again. im not saying biden is gonna solve everything but he’ll do a hell of a better job than whats happening now. 45 has let 220,000 americans die from the virus, and he might join them since being diagnosed a week ago. doctors say he’s fine but the same has been said about another conservative figure who was just as old as trump. it took a month for him to die, and the last time we saw 45 in public he was gasping for air. i hope he dies that way.

  Omar’s bday was last night and I got him michael jackson’s off the wall picture vinyl. i also bought the cake, which was fantastic. his girlfriend didn’t come, which was great because i don’t know if seeing her would’ve done to me. I didn’t drink, just smoked and we played cards. he was very fucked up off an edible i made for him, with the weed i was smoking. im so happy he liked it. he loved the cake too, which i would’ve baked for him but that would’ve been too much (I still need to maintain a level of deniability when it comes to my feeling for him). I didn’t sit next to him but I found myself staring when i started to smoke, as the strain I smoke, gelato, typically makes me really hungry, and really horny (its the perfect date strain). his lips looked so soft, and his hair is so cute. he says he’s balding but I don’t mind. he’s always going to be so handsome. his mother loves me but i don’t know how she’d feel if we were together. would she let me stay the night like she let his past girlfriends?

  Josh told me he lost his job at amazon because he accidentally left early. Literally probably the hardest worker in the whole damn warehouse, and they just up and fired him. he said he’s gonna find a job and i think he wont ask for money because he had been pulling in a thousand a week at amazon for a while. I want to be up there, and all that needs to happen is that i need to fix my car. then find a job obviously. build some credit, build work history while staying with josh, and we can get an apartment. but I’m still kind of iffy on working. there are the obvious health reasons, and I was making a lot of money on unemployment. when they start giving more again, I’ll be saving a lot. but if i find a job, I will make Significantly less money. and then i’ll start to have to pay for car insurance and rent and i want to get my teeth fixed and it’s just a really stressful time right now. 

  So this week r*an haywood of ach*evement hunter and ad*m kovic of funh*us were fired from r*oster teeth, the parent company of both those properties, for engaging in extramarital affairs with fans of the companies. the first lets plays i ever watched were from ah, since 2013, back when it was classic ah with the classic lineup of geoff, gavin, michael, ray, jack, and ryan. just six guys in a room screaming at each other over min*craft or gta. I discovered funhaus when roosterteeth acquired them in 2016 or 17, and I have been hooked since then. classic lineup included bruce, james, lawrence, spoole, elyse, joel, peake, and adam. much edgier content, and an older demographic. these guys were just on another level of comedy and gaming. this past wednesday, a google drive link was posted to 4ch*n, that included hundreds of pictures taken by adam of himself nude and in lewd positions, all screenshotted by a fan he was sending them to over instagram. there were some photos of ryan as well, and some are alleging he raped a minor, but its all here-say at this point. all the members of their respective groups made tweets talking about how shocked and hurt they were (some were less than surprised and made tweets explicitly calling out adam, and some tweeted cryptic song lyrics that represented the situation well). they say never meet your heroes and over the past five years, i think thats becoming a proven point. Im still attracted to adam, even though i know he’s an asshole cheater. i remember just absolutely drooling over his big arms and chest, and when burnie burns confirmed he had the biggest cock in the company, i was over the moon. well let me just say that’s the last straw for me. no more white men for me EVER. im totally done with them. its sad to see adam leave when so many of the original lineup have gone (its just james and elyse now). it really won’t be the same now. ah will survive this, and i will just have to wait until they put out official response videos up explaining everything.

  it’s fall now, and cuffing season is upon us. I wonder what its like to have someone that is truly invested into you, who make it their business to make you feel cared for. I want the weather to be cold soon, so i can just lay in bed all day and cuddle my body pillow and be warm, and think about my future man and all the ways i’ll take care of him and all the ways he’ll take care of me. i wanna make him soup and bake pies and keep him full and he’ll take me to the pumpkin patch and it will be cloudy and we might even hold hands. just boys being boys. dressed nice and warm with flannels and hoodies and boots. i would even drink coffee again and we’d sit at the coffee shop and hold hands to keep warm. my small hands in his big strong hands. just a thought ive been kicking around in my head.

[thorsgirl5]

True happiness

True happiness Brohm R"Luke I'm sick of fighting with you! We've been engaged for almost a year now! This is bullshit!" L"ohm I know you're cheating on me it's obvious! It's Bryce isn't it? Its always been there and it's just gotten worse since he's moved down here! You will barely look at me anymore!" R"that isn't true toonz you've been distant for the last 8 months of our relationship I don't know what to do anymore we barley hold hands or kiss we sleep in separate rooms it's like I just have a roommate not a fiancé we've never had sex it's like you're ashamed of being gay and regret your decision to ask me to marry you." L"maybe you're right, maybe we rushed into our relationship after our drunken make out at delirious and Evans engagement party maybe all the ship stuff got to my head maybe the liquid courage took over and I was lonely geny just broke up with me and I'm sorry about that I'm just so confused and don't know if Im in love with you anymore..." Ryan's face was of pure shock but somehow understanding R"I'm gonna leaving to cool off." Ryan picked up his gray hoodie wallet phone and keys pulling the gray fabric over his muscular bare chest before stepping out into the crisp North Carolina air. He and toonz worked out together most of the time they were together both invested in their channels not really ever acting like a couple. This was the 4th time this week they started arguing and Ryan again was always the one to apologize first tonight wouldn't be the same he had to really think if he loves luke or not sure as a friend always but as a lover? He drove around till he heard his phone ding he knew it would be like asking where he'd gone he looked down but was surprised it was from "brycie-poo~" asking if he wanted to play dead by daylight. Ryan smiled there's always been a connection between them they always joked/teased eachother and ohm was sure if Bryce were bi he'd be all over that booty. Ohm pulled out his phone to reply to Bryce "sorry not home at the moment brycie not really in the mood toonz and I had another fight..." Bryce immediately replied "wanna come over?" Ohm smiled and made his way to bryces house he lives about 30 mins from their house. L"Del I fucked up! Big time I should've listened to you before ohm and I should've never gotten together.." D"toonz you're an idiot! I told you not to break his heart and if you wouldn't have gotten so drunk that night then my plan would've worked!" L" what the fuck are you talking about?!" D"that night I was trying to get Bryce and ohm together Bryce told me he'd fallen for him and wanted to be with him." L"oh my gosh I really am an idiot! And Del to tell you the truth geny and I have been talking again and she wants to get back together and I'm considering it I don't want to hurt ohm tho so I don't know what to do help me please!" D"Evan! Get the fuck off me I'm trying to talk to Luke! Sorry toonz Evan just came hope and tackled me to the floor umm I would talk to him he's a great man I'm sure he'd understand I'm not to sure if he's really in love with you I know he loves you but most likely as a friend. EVAN! Luke i gotta go vanoss won't fuck off and is dragging me around the kitchen table want me to call ohm and see what he says?" L"no..I'll talk to him when he comes back I just hope he comes home tonight we gotta hash this out." D"alright brother I'll stop by tomorrow and see how things are I gotta deal with this owl boy!" L"good luck clown man you may be taller but he's buffer." Jon and Luke hung up and luke started walking around the house looking at all the pictures on his wall the first of Jon ohm Bryce and himself the first time they met. They were all so happy, now Bryce is miserable he put his feelings aside for his 2 best friends he's a good man he and ohm would be perfect together. L"damn I fucked up!" Ohm got out of his car walking to the door ringing the doorbell. Bryce opened the door smiling B"hey ohm you okay? Wanna talk about it?" Ohm shook his head looking down B"come here bunny man." Bryce pulled ohm into a bone crushing hug shutting the door behind him. Ohm might be older but he's shorter he leans his head on bryces shoulder sliding his hands around his waist leaving no space between them. B"want to play Mario kart?" Ohm nodded into his shoulder B"okay but you gotta let me go so I can set it up." Ohm squeezed Bryce one more time immediately missing the warmth as he let go. They sat down on the couch and started playing soon Ryan forgot all his problems and got really into the game! R"oh Bryce! I'm coming for that booty!" B"uhuh! No not gonna happen! Can't catch me!" O"is that a challenge?" They played a Grand Prix getting closer and closer with every race. Bryce was now in between ohms legs practically sitting in his lap. R"FUCK! Damn it Bryce! Why are you so good at Mario kart?!" B"you just suck sorry ohm." R"oh yeah?" Bryce nodded ohm took this opportunity and started tickling his side till he was gasping for air trying to get away. B"ohm! Stop please!" Bryce got a hold of ohms hoodie trying to push him off but ohm grabbed both his hands in his holding him down but lost his balance on the rug and fell onto Bryce. Both inches from the others lips both blushing a deep shade of red. B"Ryan.." R"I'm sorry!" Ohm released his hands Bryce gripped ohms hoodie pulling him closer. B"don't be I've been meaning to tell you something for the longest time.." Ohm looked down at the blonde blushing mess under him averting his eyes. B"umm..well I know you're with cartoonz but I'm in love with you....have been for awhile now I was planning on telling you at dels engagement but then I saw you and Luke kissing so I keep my mouth shut even tho it's been killing me seeing you guys together." Bryce was on the verge of tears pouring his heart out to the maskedgamer. Bryce let go of ohm to wipe away his tears holding in a sob. Ryan moved bryces hands and wiped the tears falling with his thumbs. R"Bryce I..I love you too I feel like I always have I love Luke but not in the same way I did a few months ago and I really need to talk to him about everything but I don't want to hurt him or you I'm so happy!" Bryce pulled ohm towards him wrapping his arms around his neck B"yay I can't believe you like me too if you want I can help you talk to Luke." Ohm wrapped his arms around bryces waist again. R"I don't think he'll be too hurt I got a call from geny the other day asking me if Luke would take her back...I think they've been talking a lot recently and I don't blame him she's a big part of his life and I truly believe that's his soul mate." Ohm pulled Bryce up off the floor placing his hand on his hips holding him. R"alright I'll go back and talk to him I just got ahold of you I don't plan on letting you go or cheat on toonz." B"well I'll let you go this time but he prepared because once you come back I won't let you leave my arms for the rest of your life got it?" R"I'll hold you to that promise brycie." Bryce backed ohm against the wall rubbing his hand against his cheek. Before leaning down to kiss it. B"I don't want to let you leave but I know you gotta." Bryce took ohms hands off his hips kissing his knuckles before handing him his keys and walking him to the door B"see you soon bunny man." R"soon my little angel." Ohm kissed bryces cheek then headed home. He's been away since about 3 in the afternoon it now being 5 he figures luke would be in the small gym they had set up in the garage. Opening the door to the garage he heard voices luke and genys L"gen look I'm happy to see you but I will not cheat on ohm he and I are still an item and I won't betray his trust so until we hash this out you and I can't be together." G"I love that about you Lukey you're a great man, both of you are great men and these past few months have been hard on both of you. Both wanting and longing for your true partners I'm yours toonz and Bryce is ohms we all know that. I've waited 8 months what's a few more days?" Ohm peeked his head into the garage luke was on the press up bench and geny was on top of him. I think 9 months ago I'd be in a jealous rage but they just melt together like a puzzle piece. So I knock before heading inside L"ohm! You're home welcome back!" Geny and luke separated to fast geny hit the floor. Luke was helping her to her feet when Ryan came walking in. R"yeah I'm back um toonz listen before you say anything let me just say I love you but more like a brother than anything I think that's the same with you we don't act nor seem like a couple it's been fun being roommates and we'll always remain friends but my heart has belonged to Bryce for sometime now I was just too stupid to realize and I know you and gen are soulmates so we're good no need to explain we'll be alright." Geny was practically in tears L"ohm you'll always be my brother from another mother and I wish you and Bryce a lifetime of happiness because we both deserve to be happy and geny is where I'm happiest so i don't plan on letting her go." Ryan and luke made there way across the room to each other pulling the other in a hug. Letting go of the other luke pulled geny in to his chest holding her as if it would be the last. R"take care of that Viking of a man geny alright?" G" I plan to never let him out of my sight again thank you Ryan for being so understanding so what's the next move?" R"well you better move your ass in here cause toonz is gonna need a roommate and I have a promise to keep so I'll come back tomorrow or the day after to grab some stuff and don't be too loud guys we have neighbors." L"speak for yourself ohm see ya man thank you." Ryan and Luke shook hands before ohm was heading back to bryces house. Bryce was pacing around his house waiting checking his phone every 2 seconds to see if his masked gamer was coming back or not. The only text he got was from delirious asking if he talked to ohm yet and if brohm was officially canon! Bryce told him to suck a dick and Jonathan replied not married yet bitch! Ryan made it back to bryces house with a small duffle bag of cloths. He rang the doorbell once more waiting for the blonde YouTube to answer the door it only took Bryce 4 seconds to come running. Bryce opened the door smiling from ear to ear B"welcome home ohmie!" Ohm walked past Bryce inside pushing him into the wall lifting him off the ground, Bryce was caught off guard but wrapped his legs around ohms waist his arms around his neck immediately kissing those lips he's wanted for a good year and a half. Ohm closed the door, dropping his bag in the process. The two of them gasping for air was the only reason to stop the kiss. B"so ohmie does this mean that you're mine now?" R"yeah brycie I'm all yours!" Ohm leaned back in to kiss Bryce again knowing this is where he was meant to be. Who knows maybe at their engagement kryoz or John will finally make a move on Smii7y but we'll see....

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 14: “It’s Five Guys Burgers and Fries” - Mo

AAAAAA AHRRE IS GONE!!! IM IN FINAL 5!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO FUCKING EXCITING

its been so nervewracking this entire game holding my idol... not knowing when to play it... being a paranoid mess?? but im legit in f5. here. about to play my idol and show everyone that i had the social + strategical game to be able to NOT ONLY KEEP IT BUT FIND IT. like knowing im in f4 is so fucking validating and ik im not there yet but i'm not pulling a loris and giving myself 5th lol. and even better than that ryan has had his idol from fucking like day 2 and we've been able to keep them in this long and i love him soooooo much hes honestly one of my bestest friends nnnn

i just feel really bad bc ive acted to tobi that im his #1 for so long.. i told him about my idol.. i tricked him into voting ahrre @ 6 so that we could vote ryan at 5 knowing he has the idol like. idk if hes gunna forgive me. LOL ALNFJBFG but its just something i need to prove at ftc ):

i jus treally dont want 3rd again. i dont think i'll get 4th. i just. want a chance to showcase my game bc i'm so fucking proud of it you have no idea like.. i've been with the majority.. i've never voted wrong. ): i've had the social. i've had the strategy. i dont know what more i could possibly do to prove that this is a winning game and the most nervewracking thing is doing a live tribal where idk how the jurors are gonna react bc half of them probably hate me and i'm legit gonna put my heart and soul into speaking my game into like 5 mins and im just scared that the jurors r gonna discredit it like ya i was a cunt alkjfhbfg but i know i played one of the best games here n idk how i'd react on call liek id probably just full on leave.. alkjfnfg

idk this is just a really long confessional bc i needed to get my feelings out there lol im just rly close and itll really suck to go home so close after controllin this game

Okay, so Im here. Yay. I knew I was getting voted and others didnt want to split votes. So im happy Ahrre didnt have an idol. So im wondering now, its final 5... have there been ANY idols?. Have we just been blindsiding them all with their idols?  Like what. So I need immunity just incase everyone but me has an idol.

So I feel like I really need to win this challenge. One because its final 5 and Idols. Two because I NEED Tobi to go this round. I brought up the idea to Scott and he said ye, but the conversation quickly ended after that, which scares me tbh. Regardless if I win or not, I am still going for Tobi, I recon he has the greatest chance of winning out of this final 5, so I need him gone. He is also good at immunities which just puts more stress on me making the finale. I think there is a chance I could win against Tobi, but there is a much better chance without him there next to me. Besides this is looking like a final 2 now, which makes my chances of getting to the end, relying on winning immunity

I WON IMMUNITY WOOO. HEHEHE

uhm. so i lost immunity. again. ALNFHBG reoccurring trend...

its cute tho. me and rhys are so similar and i love him sm and i cant wait to get to the end of this game with him hehe. :*

n then me and ryan are idolling and its like :)) yay. love him as well.

feel bad 4 tobi tho rofl

It’s Five Guys Burgers and Fries and APPARENTLY, Tobi and Ryan are targeting eachother which of course I’m like screaming with excitement on the inside because I think I’m going to beat my personal record of 5th. I might even make it to final tribal council, like I know that’s a stretch but IM SO HAPPY.

it's only day 35 huh.... we really have a final 2 HUH...... anyway yay Tobi didn't win immunity so yay we can take him out <3 Scott tells me him and Mo are under the impression i'm leaving but lol they got another thing coming. Rhys is also down to take out Tobi so whew. should be a cute moment at tribal with me n scott playing our idols but we'll see hehe

So it may be a final 3 now that I think about the days idk.

Regardless Tobi needs to go this round. Hardly anyone has started to talk which would scare me, if I didn’t have immunity. If Tobi goes this round I want to take Mo to the end. I know I can beat him then I just have to worry about Scott or Ryan.

i cant wait 2 IDOL!! i sure wont be using it successfully. bc im legit getting no votes NNNNN but. the point is. i'm here 2 stay. lol.

bye bye tobi hope u dont hate me in jury x

im so excited to use my idol and blast tobi out of this game tn.... not that i need the idol to do that exactly, but i'm excited for both hehe. it's kinda weird how this game has ended up unraveling... like, everything has gone my way pretty much and it didn't require all that much effort from me?? does that mean i played poorly omg or is that just how it be sometimes? hm. i can't say i'm 100% confident my game can earn me the win but i definitely feel like i played decently? i'm kinda sad it's probably gonna end up being a final 2 bc i wanted rhys and scott at ftc with me but oh well. i'm confirmed final 4, practically guaranteed a firemaking at least bc i dont think scott will turn on me at all and i wouldnt turn on him, so wig i have really good chances of making final 3 yayyyy. i've been thinking a lot about tribal tonight and what to say when i use the idol... i wanna make it good and impactful and send a message to the jury that hypes up my game a bit hopefully. idk we'll see if my shyness allows me to be extra lfkasd

the two truly vulnerable ppl at tonight's tribal, aka Mo and Tobi, are voting together for me instead of for each other hnnnnn i have to laugh. i think scott been playing them like a fiddle and i'm lowkey hoping they both end up really bitter at him so i can maybe win their jury vote hehe. also ugh i need to rack up at least 3 more votes so i can snatch the most votes crown from Michael... it would look better on me hm. i think i can do it if those 2 really vote me tonight and unless i dont go on an immunity run which... i wouldnt hate either

at this point i really hate luck comps this late into the game... like ugh but what can i do about it... rhys winning is better than ryan winning BUT it wouldve been nicer if me/scott/mo couldve won in case ryan pulls out an idol... we have a lot less flexibility going into tribal

So like scott has been lowkey shady lately BUT idk there really isnt much i can do about it at this point if he's blindsiding me since he has an idol and rhys has immunity soooo like its tea really... i know mo is 100% on board with voting out ryan and he asked scott and scott said ryan as well BUT it could be a lie to mo to cover up a blindside on me and like its highkey annoying that scott is the flip vote this round because he has connections and whatnot but he was also down for taking out ryan and like... taking me out at this point makes no sense because ryan making it far is sooo bad for his game LKHDLKJSA like ryan has been targetted the entire merge and he's still here... bringing that to ftc is so dangerous like i went to ftc once with someone like that... did not end well LMFAOOOO but ya this vote is extremely important and i could either be thriving with this vote or I could be royally fucked

So, tribal is in 30 minuets, Its between Tobi and Ryan? Tobi hadnt approached me about voting Ryan, so it shows I was right about wanting Tobi out. However the fact that he went to Scott over me, shows that Scott is playing a good game aswell. (Or people think me and Ryan are a duo? which ive heard before).

Tobi is voted out 3-2.

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 5 Confessionals

aw man i was looking forward to playing with adam

im starting an alliance to get out jordan pines

Wow so a lot has happened. First and most importantly, I HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE WHOEVER AT ULTA IS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL AND DECIDED TO GIVE THAT TO ME I LITERALLY OWE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO THEM. Maybe they thought I was in danger since I wasn't at the immunity challenge? I don't know what it was but damn and I glad they're looking out for me. Jordan Pines told me that Jay is a little weary of trusting me which is like ????? i've never given him any reason not to trust me but w/ever. I lowkey think Jordan may have said the same thing to Jay about me so that he has both of us not trusting the other and only trusting him: i see you Jordan Pines!!! Also my tribe is dunb because I need to sleep soon but mone of them are talking to me in the tribe chat so it's their fault I only have 4 songs for this challenge katiecan’t believe we won when ya’ll were all struggling to figure out what songs were in that sdhljshdsd

Get shook because Jay is in a good position early for the first time in 3 seasons! Everyone on this tribe thinks I'm their best friend and I love it. The plan going forward is to work with Jordan if we lose, or if we win and swap; get Katie, Charlotte, Carson, or Zach to work with me. If we lose, I'm gonna target Ryan. I think I have a better bond with Lexi than both Jordan and Luke. So maybe I'll be able to be Lexi's lifeline after that. If for some reason we don't swap and we lose again, I'll take my shot at Pines. But that seems unlikely. Winning twice seems mostly out of the question, but I think I'm in this game for the long haul. At least I hope I am.

we keep losing. Why? I don't usually lose challenges so its very weird for me to..... lose. It's getting harder each round too, like i had no intentions of voting adam off anywhere near this early but we had to. and if we lose again.... oh boy, not gonna be fun.

Wish a host would tell me: Congratulations! You did not earn a task but you did earn an Idol Clue! The Ulta Idol is located along the river on the bottom of the map. With this clue you have earned an additional guess this round!. Instead of: Congratulations! You found a Hidden Immunity Idol! However....you found the Copa idol. You have 1 hour to decide which member of the Copa Tribe gets this idol! DSFDSFHDSJFH! But anyways now that I know that its along the river on the bottom of the map I can have a better show I guess. I think we might lose this immunity due to us not being able to be on at the same time. So... YIKES

Okay so I just was informed that I received the wishing well task! My task wasn't super bad, and I told Carson/Charlotte about it. Was that a mistake? Yes. Charlotte and I are not on best terms right now, which i'll explain in a bit. I completed the task and got the Golden Rope. I think it may be really good, and i'm excited to use it in merge phase if I make it that far. If I get eliminated, i'll likely give it to Carson. I'm hoping we win immunity again though AJSDGK The reason why Char and I aren't on good terms is because I totally flipped on our alliance and voted her out in Kuang Si (a main season) and I feel shitty but ASJDGK anyway wee woo im stressed

i kinda shock myself with how fake i can be wow. like i stayed on call for 2 hours and 3 mins for that fucking guess who challenge talking to bryce charlotte and occasionally rtp i was just like..

like i just didnt wanna be yelled at for hanging up! but we did that, and i feel like i have a PRETTY decent game rn and going to tribal would fuck it up, so ill try working my connections

im pretty sure charlotte wants zach out?? like how petty do you need to be to get so mad that u want someone out in other games bc they voted u out to further their games. like?? whatevs, her problem. zachs definitiely my closest ally and i trust him. im rlly happy he got the golden rope even though im still bitter i didnt get my reward :) also at the wishing well i got an idol clue where apparently the idol is on the bottom river which whew!! im excited. hopefully i can get the idol at least.. really hope ulta can ride this momentum to the end. OH AND ALSO BRYCE GAVE THE COPA IDOL TOL UKE BC EVERYONE WAS FIGHTING FOR LUKE TO GET IT IN OUR ALLIANCE CHAT like i dont hate luke and i wouldve preferred for jay to get it but idc.

i feel good about this immunity challenge!

okay so we lost. we didn't even take 5 minutes out of our day to think about the challenge. we're kind of a lazy tribe just tryna have a good time. lexi didn't show up and luke had to go to bed waiting for her. but... it's not her fault we never set a time. but tbh she didn't even show up until after deadline. jay and jordan said luke's name on call with me when we finished the challenge. we seemed to have a fun time on the call so maybe their telling the truth. we do have our 4 person alliance with lexi so maybe that will save us.... also where this idol @ sis

this vote is gonna be between lexi and luke and honestly some how i hope i go home. pull the trigger

Thank god, we had won. Otherwise I think I would have been going home. Bad luck comes in threes, right

Wow so we won again.. Iconic!! So hoping we don't swap any time soon basicallly. Not doing much strategic gameplay other than staying social with my 4 and still talking to those outside of it. Us not going to tribal kind of makes my strategic options stagnant or at least they do to me lol

Okay so I'm pretty obsessed with ulta. I like that everyone for the most part is around and participating in chats and challenges. We all seem to gel really well. So far I think I'm the closest with Katie. We've bonded over how challenging these games are for old people like us with full time jobs. We're thinking of recruiting charlotte for an official 3 old people alliance. Then she can pick a 4th. If I had my way, our 4th would be Carson because I'm also pretty close with him and chat with him a lot. Okay I'll post another one of these later tonight

WE WON IMMUNITY! I'm so happy just because i've been stressing not only about this game, or any other game, but life itself. It's a BLEH. But to be immune for tonight, and knowing that an upcoming swap is likely, is kind of great. I'm hoping if so, the swap ends up in my favour. Nonetheless, I am going to try to use that time (or, if no swap, the time still) to enhance my social connections with various people. I feel great with Carson (as everyone likely does...) and okay with a few others, like Willow and Bryce and... personally, even Charlotte. I spoke to Charlotte tbh about what happened, and although we couldn't go in full depth about it, I wanted to justify and apologize for what happened, and I tried to make it clear that I wasn't going to relate the two games, and she said she wouldn't either. Is that likely? Maybe not. I will respect her decision though. ARGH GO ULTA TEAM WOO

So I'm telling Jordan and Jay about my idol because I really think it's going to help us in the upcoming vote. Right now as it stands, Ryan and Lexi are going to be voting for me and Jay/Jordan and myself would be voting for Ryan. However, that would leave one very pissed off and lonely Lexi without an ally. If we swapped or merged then Lexi would without a doubt flip on us and we would be screwed. If I tell Jordan and Jay to vote me out along with Ryan and Lexi, I idol myself and vote out Ryan, Lexi will believe that Jordan and Jay never flipped on her and will still trust them. If we end up swapping/merging then Lexi will still trust Jordan and Jay and we have a number moving forward where we wouldn't if they straight up flipped on Lexi. I hope...I don't get screwed :) 

What a suprise we lost.... again. This round is going to be interesting for sure. I think im safe but hoenstly who knows. Ryan is getting blindsided tonight in an unconventional way. We are all voting luke, luke is playing his idol... bye bye ryan. Should be fun

I've been tired and haven't put much into challenges and talked to much people bc I suck 

And I need a 2nd confessional

This is the first org I've ever played where I'm like "everything seems to be going too well" so I'm probably gonna get killed as soon as merge happens. Until then, I'm enjoying the high of my tribe winning everything except one challenge

haha I outlasted adam.. yes this is old news but it still feels good!

I wasnt around for the challenge but it feel great to win again

Our tribe doesn't really talk much unless we have a challenge due. Life at Ulta is boring today. I went hunting for treasure and all I found was a seashell. It was a sad day.

[1980ssunflower]

missing them...