#im going to see barbie for the 1st time soon and im very excited for that :]

[ihophashbrowns]

happy birthday 🩷🫶🫶 hope you have the loveliest day ever ^_^

thank youuuu 💖💞💓🎀💞💞💕🫶🏾🥹

[frecklystars]

omg the cookies turned out super cute!! im so glad you were able to celebrate with ken and barbie!! the pics with them each holding their cookie is so adorable 🧡

AWWWWW thank you so much for saying so!!!! My sweet orange heart friend 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I felt genuinely felt so much better when taking those pictures!! Seeing my F/Os physically holding the cookies I baked for them, it just - it felt right. Made me daydream about them both being so excited to see their faces on heart-shaped things. Seeing the little "We love you Keri!" sign on the pink flowers too, it just... it felt really nice. I felt very loved by them. I spent hours baking and decorating and setting things up, that didn't make me feel anything tbh I was totally numb and depressed, until the very end when I actually set up my dolls with those items, and then it "clicked" and I was suddenly beginning to feel better. I thought to myself "oh hey 🥺 that's my Barbie. that's my Ken. they came for me. look at them holding my cookies. I made those for them and they're so so happy. we're celebrating our love, and my road to recovery. it's really been one year and I'm still somewhat hyperfixated on them. that means something. that is really special. I did not think I would be able to enjoy any F/Os one year ago, so it is a huge leap forward that I am enjoying them today" and I've slowly started feeling just a little bit better, trying to get myself into the habit of self shipping like this, the way I used to all the time ;u;

I'm trying to celebrate the rest of my Barbie/Ken anniversary plans on the days where I'm in a good headspace, and it's working out really well! I originally had everything planned on just the one day, July 21st - a movie, a restaurant, baking cake and cookies, wearing my Barbie outfit with my cherry blossom skirt, etc I think I was even planning on going to the beach (but let's be real. it's the hottest summer ever. even Ken would not like the beach right now sdlfjdsfldsf!) I've started breaking it down to just one activity at a time on a day where I feel up for it. I went to a restaurant the other day and ordered heart-shaped waffles like they have in the Barbie movie! At some point, I am going to bring my dolls to the movie theater and have them sit in my lap and hold my candy for me, facing them toward the screen, and we can watch the movie together. It will be nice, a theater date 🥺🥺🥺 Building up that habit of believing you're loved and planning fun things to treat yourself, while tying your F/Os into those activities, really feels so good!!!

My anniversary with Sebastian from La La Land already passed on Sunday, but I still wanna celebrate! So when I feel up for it one of these days, I'm gonna go to a coffee shop and get myself two extra small hot chocolates, and them written one for Keri and one for Seb. And then when I get home I'll just pour them into a regular cup and drink it lol but still! It will feel really good to hear them call out "for Keri and Sebastian" - one part of my self ship w/ Sebby is that we go on coffee shop dates, or I'll surprise him with one when he's busy working and doesn't have time to get one himself. It helps me feel so much better, really nice acts of self care that gets me out of the house, and makes me think of my F/Os at the same time! 10/10 highly recommend!!!

I've already planned on baking more cookies for my anniversary with Officer K on September 1st :D and an apple pie for Driver in that same month-- oh! That's another thing, I'm actually baking! I never used to do that, but now I'm always looking forward to learning how to bake new things. My anniversary with Six is coming up on the 18th of this month, and I have roses being delivered to me soon! It's rly nice to look forward to these things too. I've even marked the orders as a gift, and the seller who crochets the rose bouquets actually includes a note to go with the bouquet! So I picked one that says "I love you" and I'll set them by my Barbie bouquet in front of The Gray Man poster :D

Anyway my silly rambling aside, thank you so much for taking the time to compliment me on the cookies photos!!! Ilu orange heart anon, I hope you have a wonderful week, you deserve it 🥰💕💕💕💕💕💕