#im gonna end up fully colouring the cover images at one point im getting a little bored with monochrome purple

[firstblesssed]

Walking alone unto journey’s end

ffxivwrite2022: 6 - Onerous

751 words | ew - ultima thule | Masterlist

“The sorrow of a thousand, thousand worlds weighs heavy.”

Elletha could say with confidence that the past couple of hours in Ultima Thule had been the worst hours of her life. No primal, no near death experience, no battle could match up to the overwhelming sense of despair and loss that felt so suffocating here. 

She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t affecting her, but the warrior must stand tall, must be the scion’s beacon to continue forward, to rally her friends to keep moving on. But as she watched the twins disappear into smoke, creating another beautiful bridge for her to continue onwards, she found herself without allies to inspire any further.

Elletha just stared at the spot that they had disappeared from, the deafening silence interrupted by an involuntary sob that had her clutching at her chest and cursing her emotions.

‘I’ve cried too much in the past 2 hours.’ She thought bitterly, thinking back to after G’raha had sacrificed himself, the twins leading her up the crystal bridge as she sobbed. She’d almost considered using Hydalelyn’s magic there and then to return everyone to her, ignoring Y’shtola’s words ringing in her ears, but Alisaie had knocked some sense into her.

To return her friends to her side would mean invalidating their sacrifices, to throw away everything that had brought them so far would mean the end of the star, all for her own selfish wishes. 

“It’s not fair” She choked out between her tears, sinking to the floor, “It’s not fair.”

Why couldn’t it be someone else? Always the last left alone, more important than the others supposedly, but she didn’t understand why. She hated it, wished she could’ve been the one to guide her friends forward, build a bridge of flowers and light, her gentle magic lighting the path. Elletha dug her nails into the dirt, sobs wracking her whole body, feeling guilty for even feeling this way, feeling like a disappointment for breaking down at the last second, but no one was left to tell her otherwise. Metieon having flown to the next place to taunt her, no one was here to tell her off for indulging in her emotions, so she screamed.

Screamed and cried and wallowed in the despair of Metieon’s domain, even if just for a moment, the weight of the situation finally landing on her shoulders.

The Warrior of Light left alone at the edge of the universe, screaming with grief at the position the world had put her in. 

She slammed a fist on the ground, gritting her teeth at the shock it sent through her. Elletha picked up her cane from the floor, using it as leverage to stand up, brushing long purple hair out her face and wiping her tears on her gloves. Knowing she has to continue on despite everyone being gone had left her bitter, for her companions gave her strength, and while Elletha knew that everyone back home was counting on her, it only added to the grief she felt, that she was here wallowing in pity rather than being the hero that everyone was counting on. 

As she wished for someone, anyone to be at her side, someone to tell her that everything was going to work out, the sound of distant chatter filled her ears.

Elletha looked up to see shades of people floating through the empty city, she approached one without thinking, using her cane as a walking stick, and yet when she came close to it, the shade evaporated and a voice sounded out. It sounded like it came from inside her head, resonating through the courtyard.

“If you need a push, I’ll be right there behind you.”

Elletha choked back more tears, the universe had heard her. She approached another shade, listening in shock to a voice she had not heard for a very long time.

“Do not despair, you are not without allies.”

She knew her mind was just pulling memories from the various people she had known and loved throughout her travels, but the exact words comforted her exactly the way she needed. That didn’t stop her from sobbing each time a memory was pulled from her, pausing at each evaporating shade and having to compose herself before walking forward.

‘I’m probably going to be a mess when I see Metieon up here.’ She smiled to herself and placed a hand over her heavy heart. ‘But I’m not alone at least.’

So yet, she can still walk on.