#im gonna light a supermarket on fire soon

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Katsuki coming home after an extended shift to Izuku "cooking"

"How tall do you think Bakugou is-" "Five feet eight inches and three quarters." "..."

Planking competition Lmaoooo

"Don't you 'Kacchan' me you little shit."

You by no means have to do all of these! Just lot I'd put a bunch since the brainrot is strong atm lol :P

*cracks knuckles*

my bitches, those i adore, and my non-binary whores-

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, KEEP YOUR HANDS AND FEET IN THE RIDE AT ALL TIMES, AND ENJOY.

1. Katsuki coming home after an extended shift to Izuku "cooking"

so katsuki had to pull a double shift at the agency because it was one of those days where villains wouldn't take a fucking rest. he's exhausted and tired and he wants nothin more than warm food and to soak in the bath and sleep for 14 consecutive hours straight.

as soon as katsuki opens the door all he can smell is culinary death. the air itself tasted like pure fucking charcoal. it's like someone made it into a candle and lit it up. and so, katsuki handles it in the most civilized way possible (/s):

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL DEKU."

and izuku. oh precious precious izuku, he comes out of the kitchen wearing a "kiss the chef" apron, and he has the most defeated look on his face. if katsuki looks hard enough he'll be able to see tears about to fall out.

izuku then explains that he knew how tired katsuki would be after his shift, so he texted mitsuki and asked her to send him her spicy beef curry recipe so he could surprise katsuki with it.

long story short, izuku almost set a lot of things on fire. in the end, izuku gave up on the curry and opened the windows to try and air out the smell. when that didn't help that much, he grabbed all the candles in the house and lined them up on the counter and was starting to light them all up so it could cover up the smell as katsuki walked in.

katsuki then understands that izuku genuinely did his best to make something himself to give to katsuki, and how disappointed he was that the plan failed.

and so, katsuki throws a coat at izuku and tells him "get some fucking shoes on already". izuku is confused but listens, and he takes the apron off, puts his coat and shoes on, and walks out with katsuki. they go the closest supermarket, and katsuki tells izuku to get their favorite ramen cup flavors. katsuki gets a quart of mint chocolate ice cream and when they get home katsuki makes izuku put the apron back on, helps him light up the rest of the candles, then pulls up a three minute "instant ramen with egg" recipe on youtube and tells izuku to make it.

thankfully, izuku manages to make both their ramens successfully and brings them to the dining table, where katsuki's already waiting. izuku apologizes again for making a mess and for not cooking anything worthwhile. katsuki shoves a forkful of ramen into izuku's mouth and says some sappy shit along the lines of "as long as it's you, i'm happy", and izuku tears up again. before he can open his mouth, katsuki gives him a quick but deep kiss. flustered izuku tries to talk but gets interrupted by katsuki, who points down to izuku's apron and said "the apron said to kiss the chef. im just following the rules".

2. "How tall do you think Bakugou is-" "Five feet eight inches and three quarters." "..."

izuku knows SO MUCH excessively useless information and trivia about katsuki that katsuki decides that he's going to make a point so izuku can't ever complain again when katsuki jokingly calls him a stalker.

katsuki's agency sets up a "pro hero trivia night", where fans all pile into a stadium and basically play kahoot with questions about katsuki. the agency explicitly says that this event isn't for other pro heroes, since they already know katsuki well.

izuku (being izuku) decides that there's no way he's gonna let some fan show him up on their knowledge of his kacchan, so he goes undercover and sneaks into the stadium and this man is fucking KILLING IT. there's not a single question that he gets wrong and his reaction times are stupid fast.

as the questions keep coming though, they become things that there's no way for the fans to know (what hospital katsuki was born in, what he likes to set the thermostat on, super specific pet peeves, etc) and izuku is unfazed. the man is on a mission to prove that he knows kacchan best and he does.

the final question in the kahoot is "what is the exact date and time that dynamight proposed to his partner" and people go crazy because the media's never mentioned anything about dynamight being taken? and izuku is like "thats fucking ridiculous he hasn't proposed to me yet" and picks "none of the above" except that its wrong and izuku lowkey panics because he's so confused? until he looks up and finds that the stadium camera is displaying him on the screen and because izuku is horrible as disguising himself when he's alone, almost everyone recognizes him as deku immediately. before he can get swarmed by fans, katsuki flies over the crowd and grabs izuku, then brings him down to the stage that katsuki was standing in. izuku then decides that now is the perfect time to tell katsuki that he accidentally messed up the last question, and katsuki gives him the biggest smirk in the world and goes "did i?" and then he gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring and the entire stadium fucking LOSES it, and after izuku says yes, the date is saturday, september 13, and the time is 9:07, which was one of the kahoot answers.

3. Planking competition Lmaoooo

it starts off as an innocent thing, izuku mentions that he won against kirishima in a planking contest and got free boba, and so katsuki decides that this is a fucking challenge and makes a bet with izuku: four rounds, best out of four wins, and the loser has to do whatever the winner wants. izuku agrees.

and so, they start the first round.....and it ends in a tie after four and a half minutes. izuku suggests that they put a two minute limit and that if it passes that time and they're still both up, they count it as a tie. katsuki agrees. the score is 0 - 0.

they start the second round, and......another tie. 0 - 0.

third round comes and goes....another tie. 0 - 0.

the fourth round starts, and they're both going strong....until katsuki starts moving while in his planking position, until he's planking with izuku between him and the floor. izuku is flustered but not enough to lose....until katsuki starts grinding down on him with his hips.

izuku immediately drops to the floor and starts to crawl out from underneath katsuki, except katsuki decides to suddenly drop all his weight onto izuku, completely squishing him. izuku yells and curses and calls katsuki a menace, but as soon as katsuki turns izuku so that he's facing him and kisses him, izuku stops complaining.

katsuki then immediately reminds izuku that he won and tells izuku to show him the drawings of him his friends kept talking about (damn you shoto, running your mouth obliviously).

4. "Don't you 'Kacchan' me you little shit."

ah, what a wonderful day. the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and izuku is in the hospital because he was reckless. again. nothing new or surprising, but now that him and katsuki are dating, he has to deal with a very angry pomeranian when he wakes up.

katsuki is yelling and cursing and izuku knows that katsuki is worried and that this is how he's expressing his concern, but all he wants right now is kisses from his boyfriend.

so, he flashes his softest, gentlest, most loving and adoring smile, and goes, "i love you, kacchan."

katsuki's immediate reaction is to stop yelling and go, "ah. i love you too."

silence, and izuku is about to ask for a kiss-

"DON'T YOU FUCKING 'KACCHAN' ME YOU LITTLE SHIT, I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU," and katsuki proceeds to yell and lecture some more.

izuku sighs. "dang, i really thought that was gonna work."

its ok though, because at the end of the day izuku got all the kisses and cuddles his heart could desire because katsuki can't handle being mad at izuku for more than 20 minutes

[hearts-entwine]

I ran to the supermarket at 7pm because I needed tomatoes and they were $8 and so unripe that now my salmon linguine tastes weird