#im grieving a life ill never properly have and i wanna hit myself upside the head | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

horse-shit · 2 years

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isolation of aromanticism vs deep yearning to feel wanted and loved wholly

being arospike is constantly swinging from being content and flourishing in the absence of self-applicable romance, and the deep-rooted fear that i’ll be alone forever

#someone made an offhanded comment after i joked about him being allo and going to sit inside with his bf #he said at least im not going to be alone forever and. it stung so much and hurt so bad. i told him i was aro after a beat and he was #kinda stunned and just kinda walked back inside. that was like last week and after going on the trip with my parents where they flaunted the #ir romance i feel kinda like throwing up or just being in a relationship just to get it over with so i can know i what i dont want even furt #-her #but it would be a disservice if they actually felt something romantic towards me and ive turned down 3 people previously {all friends} i jus #i want this to be over. why am i like this. i hate this #im grieving a life ill never properly have and i wanna hit myself upside the head #im gonna try and eat {hopefully with no one downstairs} and like maybe stop the sad songs #but they feel so nice and i feel seen #god i sound so fucking cringy what the fuck is wrong with me #i need to shut the fuck up #im gonna go now #eat n stuff #sigh #gonna bury this when i get down there; thanks mobile tumblr

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