#god i sound so fucking cringy what the fuck is wrong with me

[extrashotodepresso]

Bakugo X Reader

*Found Out*

This is an excerpt from a ridiculously long fic I made purely for my own entertainment. If you enjoy it let me know, if you don’t… *shrugs* reblogs are welcome , please do not share on other sites 💕

The title of the entire fic is actually “Quarantine with Benefits” but this is a stand alone snippet so I named it differently.

NSFW - DNI if under 18 - yes bish it has smuuut you’ve been warned.

Warnings: some violence, cringy as hell, unprotected sex (if I miss any let me know I guess)

Category: BakugoXFem!Reader , smut , angst , dumb feelings , KirishimaXFem!Reader mentioned but was never an actual thing , Kirishima is a pervert and a little crazy

When Kirishima got home that day and heard the primal moans coming from his roommates bedroom, he had smirked and even chuckled a little. His best friend Bakugo had been in a terrible mood for months, maybe he would lighten up a little after this. It was hardly an inconvenience to Kirishima in any case—Bakugo never brought girls back home and it was such a rare occurrence he was more curious than irritated at the explosive sounds of passion echoing through the apartment.

He had planned on just putting away the groceries he had brought home and then leaving for a few hours to go to the gym so Bakugo and his... visitor would have plenty of privacy. That plan quickly went to shit.

As he walked down the hall to sneak into his bedroom and grab his gym bag he halted when he heard what seemed like a very familiar female voice ringing out in pure euphoria. His earlier curiosity at who this visitor could possibly be began to overwhelm him. Was it a mutual friend? Or maybe some pro hero he knew?

“Right there- Katsu- mmhmmm!” He couldn’t deny the twitch he felt in his shorts at the luscious sounds - gods, he could hear everything so clearly - and despite himself, he turned from his own doorway to look toward Bakugo’s room.

The door was open ever so slightly, as if whoever had entered had attempted to close it but was too distracted. Kirishima was ashamed at the heat he could feel building in his core, almost disgusted by the increasing arousal he was feeling. He knew- knew - that he should just leave right then, but something in him couldn’t bear the thought.

“That’s right— agh, fuck — tell me what you want (Y/N)—“ Bakugo’s voice was strained, broken. Kirishima’s heart stopped.

Surely he heard wrong.

There was no way.

Bakugo knew how Kirishima felt about you. It would be completely against the bro code to go after you after Kirishima had pined over you for years. He wouldn’t just take you for himself, right? He wouldn’t betray him like this... would he?

His feet moved without him really registering what was happening. Years of hero work had provided him with stealthily quiet steps- even if you weren’t so...distracted you wouldn’t have noticed his presence. Kirishima peered through the crack in the door, at war with himself. His brain was screaming for him to look away, just leave... but his falling heart won and continued to urge him forward almost against his own will. He peered through the crack in the door, holding his breath as best as he could.

For a moment, he couldn’t see just who his friend was hooking up with; all he could see was the muscular expanse of Bakugo’s back, two long, shapely legs wrapped around his waist while he pounded into the woman’s soft, bruising flesh. He watched as Bakugo lowered his head, heard the demented gasps and pants and then the wet sounds of what seemed to be an incredibly passionate kiss.

Feminine arms wrapped up and around his neck, pulling him closer, dainty hands clawing down his back when he complied.

“(Y/N)—“ Bakugo moaned your name again, and Kirishima could practically hear his own heart shattering.

Having been best friends since high school, Kirishima had heard (and unfortunately walked in on) his friend in a few lewd situations before, but he knew immediately this was different. He noticed the way Bakugo caressed your thigh gently as he slowed his pace, melting into your chest and swallowing your moans with his mouth like they were honey.

This wasn’t just a hook up. Not to Bakugo.

Kirishima was becoming overwhelmed with emotion as he flipped around, unable to watch anymore. He slumped into the wall, though this was unbearable he had apparently become a glutton for punishment and couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Katsuki— please, faster... I’m— mmmph! I’m so c-close!”

“No. Not until you admit it.” Bakugo growled like some sort of feral beast, but Kiri could hear the undertone of need in his voice. He was begging you for something. What? What more could he possibly want from you?

“Katsu— you know I can’t- I - I can’t.”

“Then maybe I should just stop.”

“God, no! Don’t stop- please, please don’t stop!”

“Then say it.” Bakugo paused. “Say it, damn it!” His voice rang out almost violently- the pathetic whimper from you almost sprung Kirishima into action. If Bakugo was hurting you he swore he would—

“Y-you’re the only one for me Katsuki...” The words were yours. Quiet, but definitely yours.

“Louder.” The slapping sound of sweaty flesh increased in pace suddenly.

“You’re the only one!” You yelled out, voice raw with desire.

“Fuck— again.” Bakugo’s thrusts sounded even more desperate now, like he was trying with everything he had not to come undone.

“Fu- I —- hah—- I’m yours, Katsuki Bakugo— I’m all y-your-fuuuuck— God I fucking love you!”

The two of you moaned as you came together and Kirishima remained standing outside of the door , simply empty and stunned. He knew he needed to leave. His legs felt like lead, he felt the sting of tears threatening to leave his eyes.

He was completely destroyed.

A long silence lapsed as Kirishima tried to collect enough air in his lungs- had it always been this hard to breathe?

“Did you mean it?” He heard a muffled Bakugo, speaking to you. His tone was softer and sweeter than Kirishima had ever heard, fragile, like his entire world’s existence depended on your answer to his question.

There was a long pause from you, then what sounded like a kiss.

“Katsu... I... it’s complicated. You know we can’t-“

“I didn’t ask if we can, idiot. I asked if you love me.” Another pause, another sweet kiss.

“Yes.” You replied this time without restraint. “Yes, I love you.”

That was it. The last straw. Kirishima’s body moved before he could even think, heading to the front door and slamming it as hard as he could behind him.

***

“What the fuck was that?” You asked, shooting up from your place underneath Bakugo. He reflexively rolled off of you, also alarmed by the sudden slamming sound.

“It’s probably Kirishima.” His face blanched, his voice thick with what sounded like dread.

“Fuck do you think he-“ You began but couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know. Hold on.” Bakugo stood and shuffled on his discarded sweatpants before leaving the room. He was trying to look casual, you could tell, but the tension in his shoulders spoke volumes. You sat there for a moment, covering yourself in his sheets protectively, waiting for him obediently. Finally he returned.

“He’s gone now. But he was definitely here.”

“Do you think-“

“He heard us? Fuck yeah I do. You weren’t exactly quiet, princess.” Bakugo spoke with a mild smirk, but his tone made his concern evident.

“Shit.” You collapsed onto the bed for a moment, silence filling the room at your declaration.

How had you gone from insanely happy to pure panic in a manner of moments? The maelstrom of emotion began to overtake you. You needed to leave.

Rolling out of the bed clumsily you searched for your jeans- pulling them on quickly before beginning your search for your other clothes.

“What are you doing?” Bakugo asked, gruffly. You didn’t answer, your heart racing as guilt began to flood through you. Finding your shirt you yanked it on. “Yo. Brat. I asked you a question.”

You still didn’t want to answer, at any possible moment the dam could burst and you didn’t want to cry in front of Bakugo. Not now, not ever. As you began storming towards the door he grabbed your arm.

“(Y/N). Talk to me.” His voice was strained.

“I can’t right now Bakugo.” You shoved his arm off. “This is all... it’s just too much. I can’t do this.” Without looking at him you stormed out as quickly as you could.

For months now you had denied your feelings for Bakugo because you knew it was wrong on so many levels. He was best friends with Kirishima. Your Kirishima. You cursed yourself for being such a fickle woman. Not long ago you thought you wanted Kiri. Then you go and fuck his best friend. Worse than that; you had fallen in love with Bakugo even though your feelings for Kirishima remained unresolved.

You felt weak. Cruel. Dirty.

You hated yourself.

***

What the hell?

Bakugo was dumbstruck. Finally, you had admitted what he had known for a while— you had finally told him you loved him too. He was the happiest man in the world for exactly ten seconds.

And then fucking Kirishima happened.

Did you still have feelings for that asshole? Was that the problem? And what about Kirishima? How much did he know now?

Bakugo tried to take his mind off of it, going through a few beers while he zoned out to whatever was on the TV. He couldn’t pay attention, his mind was racing. Should he have chased after you? No, whatever you were going through right now would probably be better figured out without him. But what if he lost you and his best friend in the same day? He didn’t think he would ever be able to recover.

He cursed himself for being so goddamn weak. He knew the first time he had ever touched you it wouldn’t end well. Fuck, he knew the first day he saw you that you would destroy him.

Before you, he would have resolved this emptiness he was feeling by punching something, by going out and beating some poor asshole half to death. Old Bakugo would be flipping his shit now, but he reminded himself old Bakugo wouldn’t deserve you.

He needed to keep it the fuck together. Or he would definitely lose you.

He frowned into his beer, pretending to watch whatever was on. By the time Kirishima got back, he wouldn’t have been able to tell anything was wrong. Bakugo was completely casual, strung over the couch lazily and barely looking up when the front door opened.

“Hey bro!” Kirishima sounded as chipper as ever.

“Sup.” Bakugo returned the greeting. “You’re home late.”

“Gym.”

“Ah.”

“So—“ Bakugo looked over his shoulder, watching Kiri reach into the fridge and grab his own beer before walking back to the couch. “Had some company today, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows dramatically. Bakugo raised a brow.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on— I came home for a bit earlier.” Kirishima smirked into his beer, but there was a glint in his eye that was making Bakugo uneasy.

“So?”

“Sheesh. I thought you might be in a better mood after what I heard.” He laughed, almost menacingly. “Guess she wasn’t that good, huh?” Bakugo clenched his jaw, feeling the anger bubbling inside but he tried to ignore it. He thought he could sense something in his friends tone, but if he was wrong... well he owed it to you to try not to start a fight over nothing.

“Oof, that bad, huh?” Kirishima snickered again.

“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo stood up and walked away, chugging the remainder of his beer before aggressively throwing the emptied bottle into the recycling bin. He was just going to head back to his room but Kirishima had already blocked his path by the time he turned around.

“Oh, did I strike a nerve? So what, is she like, your girlfriend or something?”

“None of your fucking business.” Bakugo scoffed, trying again to walk around Kirishima. The stubborn redhead wouldn’t quit, moving to block him off again.

“Now that definitely hit a nerve. Come on, Bakubro, let’s have a chat.” Okay. Bakugo definitely wasn’t imagining it. Kirishima was acting strange. “Answer the question. She your girlfriend?” Bakugo simply scowled, searching his friend’s eyes for clues on what the fuck he was thinking. “I’m guessing not based off of that reaction... so what, huh? She’s just some easy fuck?”

That was it. Bakugo lunged towards Kirishima, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him into a wall.

“Don’t ever fucking talk about her like that or I will fucking end you.” He growled through his teeth, his free palm already crackling in suspense.

“I know.” Kirishima spat. “I know it was (Y/N). You fucking asshole!” Kirishima had used his quirk to harden his arm, landing an immediate uppercut to Bakugo which he hadn’t anticipated. Bakugo stumbled back, adjusting quickly into his fighting stance.

“Don’t make me kick your ass, shitty hair.”

“I can’t fucking believe you!” Kirishima ignored him, swinging again and trying to land another hit onto Bakugo’s face. Bakugo quickly dodged and Kirishima’s fist collided into the kitchen island instead, blowing a chunk of marble off, broken pieces littering the floor. “You fucking know how I feel about her! You asshole!” He tried to swing again with his opposite arm but Bakugo dodged again.

Kirishima was in a blind rage, desperate to land just one more blow. Despite beginning this fight, Bakugo focused on defense, reminding himself that you wouldn’t be happy to know he fucked up your precious ‘Kiri’.

“How could you do this to me, man?” Kirishima was panting heavily, hunched over, fists clenched like he still wanted to fight but his anger had turned into something softer. Something sadder.

“I-“ Bakugo struggled to speak. He had deliberately stepped aside the very first night he saw you and Kirishima meet. It was to this day his biggest regret. He wanted to explain everything— he wanted to convince Kirishima that he had made the only reasonable choice, that the first day he had seen you, a piece of him had been stitched into that moment— he had never been quite as whole as when he was with you. He wanted to explain that you were everything he didn’t know he needed but now he couldn’t live without, no matter the cost. Kirishima would understand if he could just feel what Bakugo felt. This wasn’t some crush, you were his weakness. His soul.

Of course, despite the recent influence you’d had on him, at the end of the day he was still Bakugo so he couldn’t actually bring himself to say any of that.

“Just… shut the fuck up, man.” Was all he could manage to say.

Even still, there must have been something in his voice or face that caused Kirishima to freeze. They stood for a moment, simply staring at each other. Neither could bring themselves to speak for a while.

“Fuck, dude. You have to be kidding me.” Kirishima uttered and stepped back for a minute, betrayal and shock written on his face. “Does she know?”

Bakugo’s heart sunk.

“You know what? I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you.” Bakugo’s sadness had turned back into his cool cover of resentment. “Fuck you. I’m leaving.” He stormed out, leaving Kirishima standing amongst a pile of rubble.

What a mess you all had created.

***

Your apartment buzzer went off, you moved to the door and checked the camera to see Bakugo standing there, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Go away Bakugo. I don’t want to see you.”

“Let me the fuck up, (Y/N). He knows.”

Your heart sank and with moderate hesitation you buzzed him up. You paced in front of your door, ripping it open as soon as you heard his footsteps in the hallway.

His eyes widened in surprise. He had lifted his hand to knock, apparently not expecting you to be so eager to talk. You grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into your apartment before checking the hall in front of your door in a very paranoid fashion.

“Jesus, 007, calm the fuck down.” Bakugo snickered, despite himself.

“Shut up. Sit down. Tell me everything.”

“You’re pretty sexy when you’re being bossy, have I ever told you that?” He was leaning on the back of your couch, arms crossed as he admired you with an amused expression. You simply glared.

He exhaled sharply, walking around the couch before sinking into it.

“He was there. He knew it was you. He confronted me about it. Was pissed.”

“Oh god I hoped this wouldn’t happen.” You groaned.

“Embarrassed that someone knows you’re fucking me?”

“Yes, Bakugo. Because everything is always about you.” You rolled your eyes as you paced back and forth, chewing on your fingernail.

“What does it even fucking matter anyway, huh?” He said after a few moments of your anxious silence. At this you brought your head up to face him. “If he came here, right now. Said he wanted to be with you, what would you do? Huh? What the fuck would you do? Hours ago you’re creaming all over my cock saying you love me. You came to me, (Y/N). Not him. Me. You begged me to let you in, to make it all better. And I did. Because when it comes to you I do really stupid shit because I -“ It all came out in a tumble of words, the closest thing to confessing his tormented feelings he had ever gotten and would likely ever get but he couldn’t quite continue the last sentence. Your eyes widened, your throat dry and head spinning at the barrage of questions and lewd language.

“You still waiting for him to come around?” He kept going when you made no move to say anything and he could collect himself. “If he showed up right here, right fucking now, would I not be good enough? Is that fucking it?”

“Katsuki- no- I-“

“Well then I need to fucking know what the fuck I mean to you. It’s time, (Y/N).” He stood up, now. “I-“ another deep breath as he walked over to you. “Despite the fact that you’re a complete fucking idiot I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person. I want you. In every way. If that’s not for you, or you want him, this ends here. Now. I’m not-“ he swallowed, now unable to look at you at all. “I’m not coming after you anymore. You decide. I’m done.”

He walked to the door, closing it softly behind him while you were left to stand staring at the empty space he had occupied, tears beginning to spill down your cheeks in the silence.

[starsomens]

this is for my ✨ bilingual girlies ✨ I am one which is why this can be grammatically incorrect but whatever

Noah finds your accent ADORABLE. and HOT of course. like, he can listen to you for hours noticing how certain words and/or syllables here and there in your speach sound different from what he's used to hear and it hits the right spot for him;

with that being said, he still jockingly mocks you from time to time trying to do impressions of the way you speak. he never takes it to far though, so it's just an ongoing banter which you gladly paticipate in, intentionally making your accent sound harsher from how you "normally" speak;

and you and Jolly cooperate in making Noah lose his mind with your accents. Hoah goes like "guys, human throats are not designed to reproduce such insane sounds, what planet are you both from?"

you melt when he lovingly says "you're so special, you're out of this world" only to roll your eyes three seconds later when he continues "seriuosly, you're a fucking alien, the more you talk the more I'm sure of it. I won't turn you in though, you're mine now";

he also makes fun of you when you misspell in your texts to him. "darling, are you okay? is everything alright or you having a stroke? should we call an ambulance or an English teacher?":

also, did you know your voice sounds not the same when you speak different languages? no? oh, trust me, HE KNOWS. it never stops to amuse him how suddenly your voice switches to softer and huskier or goes higher and cuter depending of the language. to him it's basically the same kind of "magic" (you call it that) he uses when he sings switching registers, so yeah, your voice is music to his ears. and he loves that more than anything;

sometimes you forget certain words or mix them up and it makes you feel awkward and embarressed. you're afraid that you speak gibberish instead of proper English. especially in front of Noah with his sophisticated way of expressing his thoughts. but not only he ALWAYS knows what you're trying to say, he also makes you feel less in your head about it. for example, he makes up silly stories about him saying the wrong words at the wrong circumstances and embarrassing the heck out of himself (and you're sure it never happened, but he wants to cheer you up so you play along) or he turns your mistakes into something special for the two of you, like an inside joke or a secret code (remember that cringy "I wolf you" line from You? yep, that's what I'm talking about). so when he shows you his new song which is his personal love anthem to you and the greatest thing he's ever written to this day and you say it's terrible instead of terrific, he looks as proud as he only can be and jokingly says he tried his best to make it the worst song in the history of music. from now on all of his song are "terrible". and all about you, of course;

remember when he said that Jolly comes up with the greatest lyrics without realizing it because he thinks in Swedish? same applies to you. it truly fascinates Noah to hear you saying the most beautiful genius things based on some sayings in your first language. he takes inspiration from that and includes it in his lyrics without saying that and you realize it afterwards when you hear him singing it;

he's for sure secretly learning your language just to surprise you all of the sudden. like, you two have a movie night date on your big comfy couch, he brushes his fingers through you hair and says "I love you" in your language and you automatically reply back the same way and then go "wait, did you just..?" and he sits there smiling from ear to ear and being so hella proud of himself, throwing at you one compliment in your mother tongue after another. and you have no idea when or how he managed to learn it all but it makes you love him even more;

which is why the next thing he'll learn from you will be the dirty talk. oh god, help us all lol

ANON SHIT UP RN

COME TO MY HOUSE SO I CAN GIVE U KISSES STOOPPPPPPP OMG MY HEART

So I was born here, but I want to say that, technically my first language was Spanish. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and I had heard from someone that the way you express your emotions, whatever language you use is your first language, which I thought was a very cool concept. And a lot of times there are words that I don’t know in English so I just resort to Spanish but oh my God literally made me smell so big I’m at work and the noise I let out was crazyOMMGGGGG

I was going to write a small story on this, but you beat me to the punch, but I’m not complaining. I will add onto this later on thank you thank you thank you thank you again.🩷🩷🩷🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[quinloki]

I’m on shark week and I had a thought I can’t stop thinking about

Let’s say someone form our world is put into one piece BUT one piece logic stays the same

Acne? Phhhshhh what’s that?

Periods? God no!

Hell, maybe even dead skin(like when you shower and you can scratch and bits come off(I promise I shower everyday))

Even your biology is different than theirs

The doctors of op are going to have a field day with you. Specifically law, fucking law man. He’d Likely have your front body cut in half so he can see everything and make notes/research.You take a nap and when you wake up he’s sitting at his desk studying your liver.

Marco? Pain relief. If he’s free you bet your ass he’s gonna be there, one hand being encompassed in healing flame the other holding his book. The nurses are definitely going to take interest but their main focus is pops so they won’t have that much time with you.

I don’t know how to write chopper and idk who kids doc is butttttt

When you bleed through your pants and someone points it out they are mainly concerned (only slightly) and eventually you have to explain that yes you’re okay. No you don’t have anything wrong with you. I think I’d be a….interesting conversation at first though killer would take over when kid was done.

What I do know is you’d definitely get good at making re usable pads

You could also tell them about the lead in tampons…..lol

-💧

my absolute favorite fic where it’s different is “Suprise, you ruined everything” - by hippy Mindy on ao3. It’s not the main focus but it’s mentioned and there are themes.(yes, I know the title sounds cringy)

I was up at like six my time and it’s almost 10am and my brain is finally awake enough to form thoughts. It’s apparently going to be a slow day for me xD

Surprise, You Ruined Everything is a pretty popular fic lately. I’ve heard about it from a lot of different friends and it’s getting solid reviews ^_^ I love the title actually xD there’s layers to it that delight me all on it’s own.

I will admit to being a little down cause isekai OP fix-it story was something I had planned - but! I’mma still do my version of it eventually too. Cause that’s one of the joys of fan fic and community - my version will be different ^_^ no one ever complained about two cakes 🎂

I haven’t read it yet, but I might do that today. I’m working and there’s not much to do between it being near to the end of the month plus crowdstrike.

Now, onto the meat - I love the idea that “if we don’t see it is doesn’t exist” as part of world building. No periods, no acne, etc. XD some people just don’t have body hair at all 😂

That would be a lot of fun to play with. Man no periods means no cramps. By the gods I could go for that.

I love your head canons too - I don’t have anything to add to that. I’d 1000000000% abuse Marco for pain relief.

[quiveringdeer]

was gonna make a full fake text image but takin too long so just this

Texting Mishaps: Reiner x Reader

y/n: my throat has been itching so bad lately 😰

future hubby 🥰: I'm sorry baby. Do you think you're getting sick? Headed home soon want me to pick up something for you?

y/n: no, I think it'll be ok. just so hard to scratch. ya know?

future hubby 🥰: I'll pick up some of those cough drops you like and some tea and honey. Just in case. 💙💙💙

y/n: Awww baby. You're so sweet! But the thing I think would scratch it the best would be your cock 😏

incoming call from future hubby 😍…

A satisfied smirk plays across your lips as you hit accept while bringing the phone to your ear. It's endearing how incredibly easy it is to fluster and rile up Reiner after all this time.

Before you can even say hello Reiner's speaking. A bit overloud and apparently very distressed. But even over his voice you can hear a background commotion of wheezing and gagging. Your heart is immediately racing trying to figure out what's happening.

"Baby why did you text that! I picked up Gabby from practice today."

Fuck.

You're trying not to jump to conclusions. Maybe the coughing is from Gabby swallowing water wrong or something. Gods please let it be something other than what you think it is. "Reiner. Why is that important right now?"

You've heard Reiner make many long suffering sighs. It's practically his most common way of sighing to be honest. But the sound he emits is definitely up there for most tortured sigh of all time.

"I gave her my phone so she could text for me."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" Granted, you probably shouldn't be shouting in the poor man's ear after basically sexting him and his teenage niece seeing it in 4k.

"I was driving! " He emphasizes the word like it's something you should've telepathically known. "Texting while driving would be a bad influence!" Bless this sweet beautiful man for trying to be the best uncle he can but god why is he shadowed by the worst luck in the universe. Of which you now carry as well apparently. Okay, perhaps you're being a bit melodramatic. Not like this one little thing would irreparably scar Gabby for the rest of her life. Right? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

There's only a slight pause after his last statement before Reiner sheepishly add, "And I don't know how to make the blue heart emojis with text to speech..."

"Reiner for the love of all that's holy-"

While both of you have a crisis around corrupting the mind of your poor niece, Gabby has overcome the initial gag reaction and is now crying laughing at the completely cringiness of the whole situation as she texts her group chat the spark notes version of what happened.

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

So i’ve unofficially called the last 12 months/year “the year i watched supernatural” because honesty it’s just a better way to face the last 12 months. Anyway here’s my unrequested thoughts on supernatural. 

It helped heal my religious trauma lol. (also spoilers)

Things i LOVED

The sibling trope/dynamic from the first couple seasons. Whenever they put cosmic importance on siblings i ate that shit up. That’s so fun. 

The vessel sagas. See above but Michael possessing Dean to kill Lucifer who’s possessing Sam??? Fucking love it. That’s so great. Also trying to force (aka torture) sam to accept Lucifer? Fantastic. 

The canonical answer that ‘god likes Sam and Dean so he gives them stupid hero luck”. I love that. That they didn’t get flat tires or sick or whatever while he liked them because he was watching out for their lactose intolerant asses. 

The SCOOBY DOO EPISODE. ENOUGH SAID AMAZING I LOVE 

The yellowed eye man plot. I know it’s like the first one but GOD i love everything about that arc. Sam’s visions?? The episode where the demon transports a bunch of them to test them?? Hell yeah

All the possessions. They were so fun. 

ALL THE EXPERIMENTAL WEIRD EPISODES. Like when they’re just office coworkers?? When they go to our world? That’s so fucking fun. 

That one scene when Crowley tortures that one pizza delivery angel? Fuck those are the best whumperflies in visusal format for me. Hell yeah. 

Things i liked 

Cass teleporting so randomly. 

The idea that humans made ‘gods’ like the old gods because wanted something to worship. Nice i like that take. 

“Squirrel and Moose” as nicknames. 

Demon traps and the little tattoos that keep them from being possessed. Very visual symbols. Also the black eye blink. Iconic.

Bobby 

The bunker (not the men of letters… just the bunker) 

How they used the same motel set and just changed the wallpaper and the room divider. I missed the hotel rooms. 

Garth 

Sam’s health conscious streak 

Nick as lucifer was so fun to watch. I was genuinely a bit sad when lucifer was possessing someone else/died. 

The gate to heaven is in a children’s playground. That’s funny, it feels irreverent, love it. 

Prophets. I like the prophets. 

GHOSTFACERS 

Don’t kill me i think i liked the last episode 

Things i hated/didn’t like 

The steins. Oh my god i had to stop watching. God we understand. We got it. Please don’t spell it out like that it hurt to watch 

The men of letters as legacy. They should have just found the bunker and been like “this is mine now”. The men of letters as a thing? Meh okay fine. 

Rowena never fully grew on me. Her accent sounded so fake the entire time i was half expecting her to drop it one day and be like “oh it was for fun” 

Oz. God, just stick to the bible. 

The needless double casting. Specifically chuck being god. I like chuck as a prophet, i love that they fought god, but chuck being god? Stupid. Annoying. Damaged the plot of the show. Should have just cast another dude to play god. 

The parallel universes. Meh leave it 

The episode in the girls highschool where they made a supernatural play. I had to skip that episode too cringy 

Sam’s beard 

The Campbell family was DUMB. Dumb and made no sense. 

Cass in “the empty”.... Just… what. If felt rushed and wrong and maybe it didn’t even stick?? IDK just weird and bad. 

The mark of cain was tiring. Okay concept but tiring and non too interesting.  

Mary coming back. That was weird. 

The british men of letters 

Sam in old man wig

Overall more things i enjoyed than hated but that is because im a positive little son of a bitch. Anyway rating is like 8/10 if you know what you’re getting into.

Anyway time to start watching season one again.

[arcanestudio108]

Bring Me The Horizon - Kool-Aid Review

Let's get something out of the way.

Yes, I'm aware Jordan is gone, and yes, I know he worked on this songs early stages and yet does not appear on the credits on Kool Aid.

But am I going to talk about “Post Jordan BMTH” throughout this review? FUCK NO.

I have questions, thoughts, and concerns, that I will NOT let take over the discourse of this song, I'll make a retrospective and rant article on it later (but hopefully not too much later). It's not that deep people (and if it turns out it is then I'll actually be worried)

So! Kool-Aid! Which as a brand can't be done with mixed caps like eVeRYthInG ElsE. But we got badass zombie Kool Aid man, so you win some and lose some.

Now we need to get something else out of the way immediately. It's heavy. Like potentially the heaviest shit they've done since Sempiternal or There is a Hell. We need to talk about it because that is also tainting the discourse around the song because the “Amo Bad, Sempiternal & Count Your Blessings Good” camp gets riled up when Bring Me gets heavy nowadays. We gotta combat that shit people. It's heavy, and I wanna say immediately that's not, in any way, a direct reason for why Im about to say that…

This is, HANDS DOWN, tying with Ludens for the best fuckin Post Human single, and is one of their absolute best showings upon first listen ever. And it has almost jack shit to do with it's heavy elements genre or BMTH era comparisons.

My fucking GOD, it's the first new, released in 2024 song I've heard and it probably could remain as my favorite song of 2024 through to the end of the year and beyond that. I do have one concern I'll mention here and expand on in that aforementioned later article I'm writing, but we'll get to that later.

Firstly, I'd like to say that my personal description of the theme of Nex Gen sonically, much like Survival Horror was “Sempiternal but Evolved” is very much “That's the Spirit (especially including Don't Look Down) but Evolved”. Kool-Aid takes that concept and not only runs with it, but also decides to throw the entire BMTH playbook in like they're adding pinches of other Kool-Aid (BMTH album era) flavors in to augment the red Kool Aids classic (That's the Spirit) flavor. Anybody who compares this mainly to anything other than That's The Spirit or maybe Survival Horror is wrong or lying, I'm not taking that back, I don't make the rules I follow them.

The star of this song is honestly that it was able to take the loose thread of the Church of Genxsis cult plot and the whole “Dark Side of Kool -Aid” that's kind of became a thing and wove it into every part of the lyrical content of this song without any of it coming off as cringy or juvenile. The song sound like both corruption and salvation, desperation & hopelessness, manipulation & rebellion. The entire chorus, the verses, every single line of this song is PERFECT. And yes I'm including ‘you should of known” in there. I think that grammatical error interpreted as a Sheffield-ism like examples of the same thing in earlier albums lyrics makes it better than the correct “should’ve” (or should have), it's a creative choice not an error, and you'll probably grow to like it too in time.

That’s what makes the song so powerful in general, but the focal point of the song is obviously the hook and overall chorus. My favorite choruses of Post Human, and BMTH overall, were dethroned the second I finished hearing that chorus in full. That chorus goes so fucking hard, Oli giving what may be simply his best clean singing to date, with a dark and desperate melody that hits the exact emotional beats it's going for. Then let's talk about the verses, which are more surprising in their switchups and flicker between styles even more effortlessly than Kingslayer did, I'd say it does so on par with 1x1 in fact.

Now of course it's heavy second verse, breakdown, and post-chorus near the end are breathtaking, but it's because of their unique and aesthetically interesting and well textured guitar work and the tones the guitar lines are played with, the surprise of hearing them, and just the overall groove and improvement in their quality that didn't exist in their idolized older material. It's that they work equally well with all four vocal tones Oli employs on this track, and work cohesively with the melodic elements to create the intended effect of the song.

Some have questioned whether Oli’s vocals were mixed down on the track, I disagree, and would put forth the theory that in fact the guitars were mixed up, to the levels they would have been at circa Sempiternal/That's The Spirit, so both guitars and vocals exist equally as much instead of vocals at the forefront

As for production: I really like Zakk Cervini’s production in general, he’s credited on multiple of my favorite rock and core genres across the past decade. Given his work with BMTH to date I figure hes probably a best case scenario for production that isn't Jordan, alongside Dan Lancaster. Aside from that personnel wise theres a few things to look at. Firstly theres a writing credit to someone listed as DAIDAI. I looked up their name on genius and came out with a handful of songs they have been credited on (could be relatively new to the industry, however its also worth noting they are credited on AmEN! and DArkSide), I will listen to is credited songs real quick then come back….

Woosh, Im back

So turns out DAIDAI is a member of Japanese metalcore band Paledusk. And as for his credits its the aforementioned last three Nex Gen singles, four Paledusk songs, a Lil Uzi Vert song, and a Shinigami song. I listened through them in the hopes of figuring out exactly what DAIDAI contributed, and… honestly I’m not sure. He at absolute least occasionally has produced the bands songs, and is their guitarist. Listening to the aforementioned tracks I figure he could be responsible for just about any of it. However my money would be that his influence is somewhere in the breakdown or verses, but then again Paledusk has some pretty kickass chorus melodies and hooks, so I genuinely can't say I know where his influence is in the recent BMTH singles.

Lucy Landry is Zakk Cervini’s partner, I found 3 credits on genius, turns out she's done backing vocals on the last 3 Waterparks albums, a couple tracks on Good Charlotte's album Generation Rx, and a Fever 333 song.

Phil Gornell was assistant engineer, his credited discography includes All Time Low, Noah Finnce, Hot Milk, While She Sleeps, a punk goes pop cover by Boston Manor, the Youngblood era live album 5 Seconds of Summer Released, and from BMTH, hes credited as drum engineer on Sempiternal, and assistant engineer on both versions of Ludens.

Julian Gargiulo was credited alongside Cervini as a mixing engineer, hes credited as Assistant Mixing Engineer and Primary Mixing Engineer on Architects most recent single Seeing Red, and DArkSide respectively. His two other two credits of note are as Producer and engineer across 5 different EP’s by a band called Chronologist, and contribution of some Guitar work and Engineering on the As It Is record The Great Depression.

As for what all of this means? Ive heard most of the material that Ive listed alongside those names, and it looks like they've been building this production team up throughout the Post Human era, and I would say its a considerably strong one after hearing Kool-Aid.

Lets give my last thoughts to the outro and another thing people have said was an "omission", I agree with everyone elses assessments on it, its part behind the scenes voice note, part outro & part transition into ToP 10 STatUeS THAT CRiED BLooD. I like that its there and hope it does remain there on the album. As for the apparent "omission" of "Oh Yeah?" I think that the songs more serious, lass meme take on using the Kool-Aid references is actually a GREAT thing, and secondly I think I'd only have wanted it were this a faster paced, Let's Get This Party Started style song.

I give the song a 100, It easily earns it. Okay, I think that's everything …..

👀.

Oh yeah, the thing I'm concerned about that's going to be the third BMTH article I have planned for this month.

Its heaviness is my concern, let me explain.

My concern is this, on one hand you could assume this just means they are trying to make the individual parts of Post Human more cohesive than initially planned. But has anybody else heard the alleged information leaks coming from someone claiming to have an inside source says its 15 tracks long, and all the material that we haven't heard yet was created in the liminal space between Jordan leaving the tour and the official band departure announcement? Combine that with the fact that the heavier songs were originally supposed to be meant for later eps, and that leads to this conundrum: Its an album, it looks like RCA is planning on registering it as such rather than as an EP after all (likely for charting and awards purposes that I personally believe are why Survival Horror was snubbed by the Grammy’s/Recording Academy), its an album that due to its physical release having to be 6 months delayed after its official release in the early summer, won't be followed up by another release until 2025 in all likelihood. Ludens was released in 2019, Post Human could technically be said to celebrate its 5th anniversary as an era by the approximate time of the Nex Gen physical copy release date. Its an album thats now 4 years post its predecessor, in a series of four thats complete release finish line seems to jump farther down the road every time progress is made. I’m worried they are planning to kill off Post Human after Nex Gen drops to skip over it and start just releasing singles like they had planned to at the whole “4 EP’s, 1 year” stage of this era. And I have a whole fucking article in the works about why I think that hopefully wont happen.

But yeah, the song slaps go stream it to make it chart higher cos the band deserves it okay bye

Tyler108x

[keysimash]

Hello!!

I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!

But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3

Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment

Long answer you probably dont want to read

I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.

I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc

Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.

And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.

I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would

a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations

b) start over from scratch

And I can't do it right now! I cant!

I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)

Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain

The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.

And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.

But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?

If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...

I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....

I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.

I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho

I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway

Sorry

[linklethehistorian]

🤗

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Oh gosh, a lot of things, really; in fact, there are so many things I could say that I’ll probably miss a few along the way as I’m writing this, and have to add to it in reblogs in the future.

For now, though, let’s see…

(Full answer under the cut for length)

1. Ignore the naysayers.

I know, I know — this advice probably sounds cliché and basic as fuck, but hear me out.

One of the most important things I ever started to learn as a writer — and still continue to do so in new and crucial ways, as time marches on and I gain more experience — was the value of not giving a shit about the naysayers.

When I was younger, I used to let the criticism of everyone — both constructive and destructive — live rent free in my head all day, every day, and obsess over making sure that my works were always as picture-perfect, innocent, and problem-free as anyone else told me they should be.

It was the biggest mistake I ever made, it made my life and my hobby a living hell, and looking back, it is the one thing I genuinely and thoroughly regret the most about any of my older works.

To explain this in better detail, here’s a little story-time for you:

When I was little, I would always have my Aunt telling me, “You shouldn’t write stories that are so dark, and [series I was writing for] isn’t meant to be so dark and ugly.” or, “It’s not healthy; there’s something wrong with you if you like writing things like this. You must enjoy things being hurt because then you get to feel good about helping and protecting them. It’s sick; you’re like those disgusting mothers who poison their kids so they can get pity and attention from it.” So, I would hesitate to write any major level of angst in my stories from that point forward.

Then, when I wrote a somewhat less “dark” story, she would tell me, for example, “No. You can’t have the Mom be in the wrong for what she did in this story. She was just looking out for her kid, and right to stop him from making friends. The kid is in the wrong and he needs to pay the consequences of his actions. Rewrite it.” So, I started re-writing it, but then quickly lost my passion and eventually abandoned it completely.

After that, I would eventually try to write a story for a different fandom — a book I loved dearly — and she told me, “Oh god, not that. That story is so stupid; you’re too old to like that, anyway.” Depressed and feeling stupid for ever even wanting to write it, I then abandoned that idea, too, before I’d even gotten past the first page.

If I tried to write multiple stories at once, swapping between them whenever I had writer’s block on the other, she would tell me, “Write one story at a time! Real authors don’t do that!” And if I complimented something in a book I read, saying that “as a writer myself, I really enjoy this”, she would quickly snap, “you’re not a real writer.” As a result, I stopped writing multiple books, even if I had the inspiration for them, and for a long time, I stopped daring to even call myself a writer.

Because I listened to someone who wanted to control and ensure that whatever I wrote would stay purely to her personal tastes, values, and interests, I let so many ideas that could have been born into the world die before they’d even taken their first breath and allowed myself to stay feeling inadequate and irrelevant. Would some of them have sucked? Would most of them have been cringe in some shape or form? Yes. I’m sure they would. But…I would rather have had those sucky, cringy books exist than to never get to see what I would have created — to never get to find the bits of good and overall interesting premises that yes, would also have come to be through each and every one of them.

I can never stress this enough, but please, new fanfic writers and even just writers in general: DON’T be like young me; don’t listen to the naysayers in your life who tell you that you shouldn’t write whatever the hell you want, however the hell you want, and whenever the hell you want. Do not let them get in your headspace over anything.

The thing you need to know about these people who tell you that what you want to write is “problematic”, “boring”, “uncreative”, or “cringe” in some way, and that you shouldn’t do it for your own good and reputation, is that they are all just like my Aunt: that is to say, they do not genuinely care about you or what is in your best interest — they are not genuinely trying to protect you or steer you on the right, most healthy path. Yes, they may claim that they do care and want the best for you, and to some extent, they may even think that they do, but at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, what they really want most is just to control you, so that they can stop you from creating content that they dislike and don’t want to have to see. Thus, rather than doing the actually healthy thing by learning to curate their own experiences in life and teach those around them that it is fundamentally okay to not share the same interests and opinions with everyone around you, they choose to guilt trip you and manipulate you into believing you are the one who is in the wrong, and who needs to be re-educated to recognize the dangerous non-conformists who may look like they are just minding their own business and hurting no one, but are definitely abusing and/or encouraging abuse to real live people and animals behind the scenes. (Because they write about the topic, so it must mean they commit or at least condone these things in real life, too, right? /sarcasm)

I promise you that these kinds of people and their moral grandstanding over things that aren’t even real in this world is far more harmful and genuinely problematic than anything fictional you could ever imagine and write or draw, and that if you went to an actual, licensed therapist and asked them their opinion on the matter, they would undoubtedly confirm that with no hesitation.

It may seem harmless on the outside to give in to one of their demands — that it’s not worth the fight, but I promise you, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. It will keep extending further and further from one thing to the next until there is basically no longer anything you are “allowed” to write or draw that isn’t one or two universally accepted “completely healthy” pairings, in “completely healthy and happy, ideal” settings, in which nothing even remotely bad or mildly disquieting ever happens or is said — if you can even do that.

And this applies to more than just tropes, genres, characters, ships, plots, or what have you — these controlling people will exist about other things, too, and they must be ignored the same.

There will be people out there who will tell you that fanfic writing isn’t as good, fulfilling or creative as writing original works. It is bullshit — bullshit that, if not based on an intentional desire to control and manipulate your actions, is at the very least born of the incorrect and extremely biased belief that fanfic writing doesn’t count as “real writing”; ignore it, and do not feel pushed to create wholly original works if that is not what you already want for yourself and are passionate about.

There will be people out there who will give you so-called “writing advice” which tells you that you must never do a certain thing (such as using a certain phrase, perspective, or writing style) regardless of circumstance, and that if you do, that’s automatically a negative thing and makes you unprofessional and a bad or fake writer; ignore them the same. The reality is that many famous beloved authors of the world have either intentionally or unintentionally ignored certain so-called “rules” of writing and are still enjoyed and loved all the same — and sometimes even all the more because of that particular, unique, characteristic ‘style’ they created in doing so.

Constructive criticism can be great and help you grow leaps and bounds on your journey, but that’s the key thing about it; it has to be constructive, and furthermore, what may be typically considered constructive for one person may not be for another. If something is negatively effecting your headspace and making you more miserable and unhappy for having experienced it, that is not constructive — it is destructive, and you need to either find a way to make peace with it and be better for it, or cut it out of your life.

If you don’t want any criticism towards your writings, then try your best to communicate that nicely and outright to your readers; most nice communities (especially AO3) will largely accept that, and those that don’t can and should be blocked or ignored.

2. Realize that someday, you are probably going to look back at your old works and think that they are very cringe, and that that is perfectly okay. Remember how I said “ignore the naysayers”? Well, that applies to you, too; remember that you are almost always your own worst critic, and that if you let that hold you back, you will miss out on a lot of good things and experiences in life, too, as well as depriving other people of that privilege through what you could create.

If there is something you want to write, then write it; don’t sit back and overthink all of the potential negatives to doing so until you’ve talked yourself out of the idea, and it never comes to be.

Yes, it is very likely that someday all of the fics you are writing now — even the ones you love the absolute most — someday will be things you will look back on and, in some manner or form, think are “cringe”, but that is okay. It is okay even if you think it is cringe now; don’t be afraid of being ‘cringe’. Cringe culture is dead, as it rightfully should be, and you don’t need to try to resurrect it out of guilt or self-depreciation.

Not only is it a sign of growth for you as a writer to be able to look back on something and say to yourself, “wow, that’s something I would never do if I wrote this today”, but it’s also important to remember that just because something may be cringe or outdated to you and your current style, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone else to whom that very creation means the world or massively brightens their day.

Don’t delete your old works. Don’t prevent yourself from writing new ones by gaslighting yourself into believing they aren’t good or valid. Don’t hold yourself back from experimenting with new things that you may want to try just because it may turn out a disaster; that’s the only way to grow and learn. Don’t be afraid to be derivative or “uncreative” by writing something that’s just barely different from the source material, if that’s what you enjoy. Don’t be afraid to be repetitive by creating five thousand slight variations on the same story or trope; not only is that a valid thing to do, but there are also many people out there who are looking for exactly that.

All in all, just, don’t let you hold yourself back from something you genuinely want to do and will enjoy — in writing or drawing.

3. Don’t pay attention to the numbers. This can be a hard one to stick to, but it’s very important. All too often, we end up getting stuck comparing ourselves to others and the success that they have, instead of enjoying what’s right in front of us, and it’s not healthy or good — not for ourselves, and not even for others around us.

While it may be tempting to pick up the pen and try to write for a more popular series, trope, character, or pairing and rake in some of that sweet, sweet instant gratification with the big numbers, it’s important to remember that not only do those numbers not matter in the grand scheme of things, but also that nothing that is big and popular ever simply started out as being big and popular — and nothing else will ever have hope of joining that list of big and popular if you aren’t willing to take the first or another step in making it so.

That big ship you’re thinking of right now that gets all the kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, and hits that you wish your fic had? It didn’t start out that big. The most popular and successful fic of all in the biggest fandom you know? It didn’t start out as the most popular or successful; it started out just like your fic did when you first posted it, like your ship did when it first came into being by the first person to think of it. 

Things can only gain traction if they have people behind them, loving them, creating for them, and engaging with them, and every person who gives up on them because they’re not popular enough is one less chance that thing had at eventually becoming popular, just as that biggest ship or fic out there needs people who love it to keep engaging with it and standing by it in order for it to remain “the most popular”.

What you love desperately needs you, and you do make a difference for it; don’t turn your back on it and end up doing something that doesn’t make you happy — or at least that makes you less happy — just because it isn’t popular or doing the numbers right now. Someday it might be. Until then, be the change you want to see in the world.

The fic that I’ve written which I love the very most and have worked on the most and the longest is also the most obscure and niche one of them all — and yet, it did gain something of an audience of its own. It is beloved by more people than I ever anticipated it would be, because I didn’t give up on it — because I made it happen and dedicated myself to continuing that, and it can only grow more popular the longer that I do.

You can make your dreams come true, one step at a time. So don’t give up.

4. Write things based on what you love, not what you hate. Obviously, this is advice that requires nuance and extra consideration based on the individual situation, but as a general rule, I feel that this is a very overlooked and yet very valuable piece of advice for all sides of a given matter.

I’m not saying that is always wrong or even completely impossible to write about something you wholly and purely hate, and still have it come out a good and positive thing to put out into the world, but the trouble with writing about something you completely despise — or for which you even just plain feel nothing but a general dislike — is that it is very, very hard to remain unbiased in doing so, and therefore highly increases the chance that you will create an extremely negative misrepresentation of that thing in some way.

If you absolutely must write about something you hate, I strongly advise that you at least tag it as a hate fic and/or (preferably and) put a disclaimer before the fic stating outright that it is such, that you hate or dislike it, and that as a result you may not be capable of accurately representing that thing in every way.

As someone who has accidentally read fics of this nature before about something that I hold very dear, I can tell you firsthand that it is not the least bit enjoyable to go into the tags of your favorite ship or character and stumble upon an untagged, self-congratulating hate fic that pats itself on the back for how ‘accurate’ it is, with no regard or warning for people who actually love or at least enjoy the character or ship.

I, for example, never wrote a fic centered purely around Paul Verlaine and his character pre-Storm Bringer because, at the time, he was the character I just loved to hate; I had nothing good to say about him as an individual, and writing a fic about only him purely for the sake of shitting on him would have been an extremely terrible use of my time and energy, and of the time of people going into the tag for his character looking for nice, or at least accurate, representations of him. Now that I have a better understanding of him and can appreciate all aspects of him — not just the negative — I am happy to write about him, but, I would never write a fic just about Fukuchi in the present moment, because in that same vain as before, I have nothing positive or interesting or wholly true to contribute about him in his tag (not to mention I’m not really particularly interested in him to begin with).

All in all, while I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t do it if you’re willing to give the proper tags and disclaimers, I promise it’s really just not worth your time or energy, when you could be spending it instead on something you love.

And if you do write a hate fic and you don’t tag or at least give it a disclaimer, well, make sure that you at least state outright you don’t want constructive criticism, or else you shouldn’t be surprised if you end up with people who frequent those tags telling you that you’re not writing the character or ship accurately, because it will probably happen sooner or later.

5. Somewhat related to the end paragraphs of advices 1 and 4, don’t ask for constructive criticism if you don’t want it, and make it clear if you absolutely don’t. While most people — especially on AO3 — will not just submit criticism, constructive or otherwise, on a fic unless you make it absolutely clear that you actively want it, if you truly want to avoid having criticism submitted to your fic for any reason, it is best to state that you would prefer positive comments only (especially if your writing community is one that does leave criticism a lot), as it will save you a lot of trouble.  Likewise, if you do want more than the usual amount of criticism, you should feel free to ask for it, but please make sure that this is truly what you want, or else you may not like what you receive. 

I have encountered fic writers in the past who request, “please tell me what you honestly thought of the fic!”, only to then later delete any and all constructive criticism that their readers take the time to leave them. Please do not do this; it is a waste of time and energy not just for you, but for your commenters, as well. If you don’t want something, don’t communicate to others that you do.

6. Be as passionate as you want; don’t worry about being ‘normal’ about your interests. I know this is technically related to the third bit of advice, but seriously, what is normal is completely subjective to the individual and it is also completely overrated. Don’t sit stressing about if you act ‘normal’ or like something ‘a normal amount’; go crazy with it! Be over-ambitious about your creations and your interests! Make as much content as you want for it, spread it across all mediums if you desire! Make a music playlist that ties into it! Make a blog centered all around it! Post regular updates and exclusive content like it’s famous! I did all of this and more for one of my fics, and I’ve had the time of my life with it.

Embrace your inner overenthusiastic eccentric and have fun. That’s what hobbies and fandom are all about.

7. Be kind and supportive to yourself and others wherever you can, and mind your own business when you can’t. It’s unfortunate, but many times in life, when we get caught up in the rush of things and the height of excitement or negative emotions, we can forget to show kindness, love, and understanding to ourselves and to others. It’s important to remember to take a deep breath now and again, and consider those needs and feelings that we would otherwise ignore.  The schedules we sometimes create for ourselves are amazing, and they can help us keep on track, but they aren’t the end-all, be-all to writing and being a writer; don’t obsess over them and let them run your life or expect other writers to uphold them all of the time, either. Taking breaks for your mental, emotional, and physical health is so, so important and so necessary, and it’s something we all should be able to do judgement-free from time to time when we need it.

And furthermore, remember that just as you have your own interests, so do your other fellow writers in the world; sometimes they may move on and change fandoms, or have fictional interests that you don’t like or agree with. It’s important in those times to realize that that is okay, and that they are valid. It’s important to be able to say to yourself, “it’s not my business”, respect their right to do what they love, and move on to something that is your business and that you do love, yourself. Don’t harass or insult other writers in the heat of the moment over something that isn’t your business or they didn’t ask you to negatively comment on, and if somehow you do, make sure you apologize and learn from that mistake going forward.

Fandom is a big place, and there’s room in it for us all to co-exist and thrive.

—

Send me another emoji and I’ll tell you about myself as a fic writer.

[bimbinis]

Genuinely curious why you hate new Vegas

BOY WHERE TO START

There is entirely way too much I have to say about this fucking game because unfortunately I have in fact played it, for multiple hours, way after I'd already decided I didn't like it, so much that I actually think trying to explain all of it I think I might actually have to go beyond the fabled mobile post character limit, but for starters a thing that exponentially increases the amount I hate it is that I listened to/believed the hype and expected the game to be not just good but according to FNV fans (particularly Hbomberguy who was the guy who convinced me to spend my own real human money on this shit with his video about it) that it was going to be the best game of all time. It's not. It's far, really far from it.

I don't even think it's the worst game of all time. I think it's shit, like, unambiguously, but there are games that are both worse on a technical aspect and even less enjoyable than FNV is. But FNV couldn't have the decency of just being bad, it also had to carry an insufferably, inexplicably smug essence to it, like it really believes itself to actually be one of the greatest games of all time. So a lot of the unpleasantness of playing this shit game comes not from its own inherent shittiness but from how that shittiness looks when compared to not only what they promised but what they honest to God believe they achieved.

Let's start with the choices and morality system. I think this is a good point to illustrate what I'm talking about bc it's the thing most hyped about it. FNV fans seemingly love the game because it "let's you do anything", and while I could go into a very long tangent about what "can do anything" means in a context like this I'll just trust everyone to understand that what this means is never going to be "literally anything at all" but rather "you can navigate situations the game delineated for you in multiple ways that correspond to what most people would reasonably consider doing in a situation like that".

Having established that, FNV doesn't have that. Or rather, at the very least, it doesn't have that anywhere that matters. The game is railroaded to hell regardless of what anyone says. Take the start of the game. From the first city, you can go to multiple directions. Sounds good right? Except in every one of them aside from the next point in the main storyline you're almost certainly gonna die. Surely you could be super good at the game, or just minmax the shit out of your build (usually the same thing) so sure, you "can do anything you want (but terms and conditions may apply)".

Once you start the storyline itself, you realize most of your choices are either quite meaningless or are stupid choices people would only pick to see what happens. And, maybe that's just my personal belief that isn't gonna be self evident to everyone but I think that it should be self evident that a game about important MORAL choices where half the choices you make are basically just for shits and giggles is a bad game about moral choices. What do you get from siding with the powder gangers? Morally they're the wrong choice, narratively they're not particularly interesting (although, no one else is either lol) and mechanically you only get a handful of quests with XP rewards. And in exchange you gain infamy with the entire first town of the fucking game. The only reason that choice is there is so they can say it's there.

Then you get to Primm (and you'll always get to Primm next) and you see Caesar's Legion (who up to this point you only heard negative things about) has burnt down an entire town and fucking crucified the people in there, and then the game forces you to interact with an unbearably cringy LARPer raving about sodomites or whatever. This, for your information, is what Hbomb described as being great at representing how good fascism is at dressing up its true intentions with pretty words, and what one of the lead designers of the game said was their attempt (that they seem unironically proud of) at showing how seductive the aesthetics of fascism can be which may make you lose sight of its most pernicious aspects. They say this, because they really think making Caesar just say the name Hegel means they wrote dialogue, seemingly forgetting that 1) no, it does not and 2) that is not even close to our first contact with Caesar and no, seeing a group of people that FUCKING CRUCIFIES PEOPLE FOR BEING SODOMITES DOES NOT MAKE THEM SEEM APPEALING TO JOIN. This is yet another choice that is obviously in the wrong but again, because it's there, they get to say that their choices game is meaningful or whatever because you can choose to be inequivocably evil.

The most ludicrous part of it is that FNV fans criticize the whole "your only actual choice is whether you want to be good or evil" when it's done in Fallout 3, because "Bethesda are evil and ruined our game series waaa" but when the golden boys at Obsidian do it it's "masterful, nuanced storytelling". What a joke.

This whole choices shit ties into mechanics (as I said, minmaxing is a way of maximizing your choices), so let's talk about the karma system: it's pointless and does nothing. Also it exposes the sham of the game being about making you come to your own conclusion of what's morally good and bad because the creators already tell you what they think you should do based on what makes you lose or gain karma so like. lol.

Moving on, character building is shit bc there's obviously only one right way of doing it ever: Charisma 1 Intelligence 10, and maxing out speech as early as possible because guess what: most of their "amazing nuanced storytelling" is locked behind a mindless fucking skill check so you don't have to actually, say, think about your words and what would be the correct thing to say to deescalate a situation or such, no, you just pick the option that has the number on it. Which is obviously the right choice that will give you the most mechanic, moral and narrative payoff.

Let me tell you a little story: when I played that shit arse fucking "free the prostitutes from the casino" quest (which, had the worst game mechanic of all time, waiting for an NPC to walk from one point to the other, a grand total of 3 fucking times) the game gave me a skill check at the end. If I could pass it, I walked out fine. If I couldn't, they killed the guy I was escorting out of town even though I could take them out and I failed the quest. All of that shit I did was for nothing and I get no storytelling rewards from trying to play the game the way I can and want to (killing guys that annoy me). I know FNV fans will be rabid about that shit because "well you do have other choices!" Yes I did. The one I picked was pumping myself full of drugs so I passed the strength check and making this stupid fucking check meaningless. I passed and I still didn't like it. Doesn't help that the quest itself was bad, and shows just how disgustingly chauvinistic this game is, which makes me all the more puzzled about why so many of the people who praise it are at least nominally leftists. Probably bc it's mostly in the form of American chauvinism (this game is disgustingly American) and American leftists are so fucking clueless about that lmao (we're not getting into that though this is already gonna be too long even without that)

As if the quest itself being bad wasn't enough and didn't have a stupid fucking ending like that, afterwards when you go to talk to that stupid fucking piece of shit disgusting jackass robot (that they shoved in that shit to railroad me into doing their shit main quest the way they wanted me to) to tell him about how you feel about their faction, your only option is to say you have no beef with them because you put in a different guy in charge of it who's exactly like the first guy. You walking in the casino afterwards and killing everyone inside makes no narrative difference either.

Another example: the quest where you help a bunch of ghouls build a rocketship to moon, the entire time I was doing that quest I thought I would get the option to tell them "hey this guy is obviously pulling your leg and this is a suicide mission" and then you get to the end and you just. Don't. Your only options are sending them to certain doom or letting the one human member sabotage their ship and kill them instantly instead of just eventually. It's not like it wouldn't be silly to also be able to just dissuade members of a cult all willy nilly like that, but the idea should have been at least acknowledged, so that the quest could have like, said anything about anything at all.

The only time I did a quest where I felt like my wish was actually fulfilled was the quest in Novac where a guy asks you to find out who sold his wife into slavery (who btw he himself killed because he "couldn't bear to see her like that or something" lol) and you find out it's the nice mayor old lady and the options you get to complete the quest are either tell him the true culprit or pin it or someone else, either way he kills the person you tell him did it. I didn't wanna do either so I killed him instead. I failed the quest and got his stupid fucking beret stuck in my inventory permanently but I hated him anyway so I was satisfied. I felt like that was an actually engaging moment of RP especially since I got away with it very easily lmao. If I DIDN'T hate him however that would be yet another moment where the game would have shat the bed

I haven't even started on the worldbuilding. It's laughably bad. Again, FNV fans will make fun of Fallout 3 for putting shit from the original game in without any thought into it just because it's an iconic recognizable thing even though FNV didn't mind continuing to use caps, that they intentionally make not make sense. There is a quest where you go to investigate someone "making counterfeit caps". What, pray tell, is a counterfeit cap? Every time I drink a sarsaparilla I add a cap to my inventory. Are you saying that those were all made before the bomb hit and I'm drinking centuries old soda? Or that there is a centralized government unit fabricating sarsaparillas with serialized official caps in the game where the whole plot is about multiple factions fighting to seize control of the land? How do people even take that seriously

And then you get into how the game looks. I'm not talking about the fact that it's visually ugly as sin, which it is, absolutely. I'm talking about the fact that it's been now (as well established) multiple generations of people who have been living here post war and these people have decided that fabricating printing presses to make their comically on-the-nose propaganda posters was a priority but they've never even considered making a single broom. None of the places look actually lived in. There's no names on them. People don't come in and out. There are no identifying items, decorations, anything that would make them even slightly stand out from each other. The house you can sleep and store items in in Goodsprings belongs to Easy Pete, and my girlfriend knew waay more about FNV than I did and she never even noticed that.

The outside world is not any better. Making a game in a desert true to the real life region sounds pretty cool until you start realizing that every single step of your entire map looks indistinguishable from one another. And I still don't think that's justifiable btw. An artist should know how to make shit stand out from one another.

This is just scratching the surface of all my beef with the game btw. As mentioned I didn't get into how Disgustingly American it is (and I use these words very specifically and very deliberately), but also, how annoying and unlikable almost all characters are, how uninspired and lame the dungeons are, how the UI is dogshit and also the Only criticisms FNV fans are ever willing to (begrudgingly) admit which are the bugs (which they either blame on Bethesda or "b-b-but they only had 18 months!" anyway) and the shit gunplay (which they'll argue is good actually bc it's an RPG and also FNV isn't a looter shooter it's a Real Serious Game so you shouldn't even want to shoot your gun anyway and also that's what VATS is for!).

Which also gets me into the point where I mention that the most annoying thing about New Vegas fans is that the way they maintain this self delusion that New Vegas is The Perfect Game is by claiming that anything good it does ever is completely Obsidian's merit but everything bad about it is Bethesda's fault. The FNV crew are all seasoned talented industry professionals which is how they managed to make such a masterpiece but they're also helpless idiot babies who are powerless to stop Bethesda's evil evil reign of terror that forced them to continue to use caps and also make them more incoherent. Essentially, I have more to say about it but I just shot this down sorta haphazardly and I think it's enough to make my point.

In conclusion, FNV is shit

[horse-shit]

isolation of aromanticism vs deep yearning to feel wanted and loved wholly

being arospike is constantly swinging from being content and flourishing in the absence of self-applicable romance, and the deep-rooted fear that i’ll be alone forever

[starlightinmeshallshineonyou]

Cuts and Bruises (A Daredevil Fanfiction)

(A/N: GIF isn’t mine, please kindly check the maker of this GIF! [@emziess​])

Pairing: (Matt Murdock x Reader) Word Count: 1.433 Warnings: strong language, cringy writing (because I don’t know a damn thing about nurses and hospital), blood, slight dark thoughts.

Summary: You already have a bad day and your best friend calls you to take over her shift, making you encounter someone from your college life.

You walked out of the apartment with a bag hanging on your left shoulder. The sky was cloudy and the wind was cold against your clothes. Bummer.

You were expecting it to be a wonderful sunny day, but it turned out wrong and you loathed it. Really it was just a cherry on top on the day you went on for your day shift.

Your phone rang in your sweatpants as you sat at the bus that’d just arrived. (In time. Thank God for that.) You dug it out and saw that it was your best friend. You swiped right and put it on your ear. ���Yup, hello?”

“Ugh,” she groaned at the sound of your voice. “What the hell, Y/N? How the fuck can you be so jolly in this goddamned hour?”

“Take it easy you bitch,” you encountered. “My day isn’t really good either. The freaking weather is just not in my favor today. We have our own problems.”

“Ugh, I hate you,” she groaned in despair.

“You love me.”

“Yeah you’re right,” she yawned. “Hey I don’t want to be that kind of person today, knowing you already have a bad day, but I need a favor.”

“Oh ... hell no-”

“Listen hon, I just got home today after my night shift,” she said, and the sound of ... trumpet? “And it turns out I am- HACHOO!”

You winced and pulled away the phone from your ear. Definitely not a trumpet that you just heard. Confirmed. “Dear God, Lily. Are you okay?”

“As I was saying,” she sighed. “I am sick.”

“Yeah, I can confirm that,” you said.

“And I kinda told the head in our hospital that you’ll-”

“Oh my God,” your head started to tangle up. “I. Hate. You.”

“Ugh...” she groaned, again. “I know.”

You looked up at the darkened sky behind the bus window. You saw droplets of water started to hit the window. Great. Just great. “Fine! I’ll do it. You better give me what I want for taking this idiocy of yours.”

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re the best!” And then the phone went silent.

Asshole.

...

Your day went well. Except for your eyes, energy, and soul. You could feel the aura of everyone started to annoy you. This was the worst. You kept in mind that Lily would pay for this, you made sure of it. You didn’t care if she was sick, you’re the type of person who held grudges. And the people who did that to you would suffer.

Realizing your train of thoughts, you shook your head, erasing the dark thoughts out of your head. Fuck! I need to wash my face and drink coffee.

You headed your way to the nearest bathroom when you saw a man in a disheveled suit, walking your way. His red glasses glimmered underneath the hospital light as he tapped his white cane on the floor.

“I’m sorry sir,” you stopped him. “This area is off limits. The registration desk is-”

“Y/N.” He said my name.

You stopped midway. The man in front of you was blind, you knew that. What the hell? “Okay how do you know my name?”

“Your ... voice,” he said as he pulled his suit jacket closer to his stomach. “And also we-” he hissed, almost out of breath.

“Sir, are you okay?” Despite the fact he knew you (in a creepy way), you started to take a closer look at him. “Is there something-”

That’s when he took off his glasses. You knew it anywhere, those familiar eyes and lips up close now that the glasses were off. Even though years had passed, you still knew how he'd grow up in your mind. “Matt.”

“As much as I like this reunion,” He chuckled and hissed as he remembered something. “I need you to stitch me up.”

“What? Why?” Your eyebrows frowned.

He pulled his suit jacket to the side, showing a stained shirt with a small pool of blood.

“Dear God, Matt!” You hissed. “What the hell did you get into?” You took him by the elbow and led him to the nearest aid room. You looked around the room and glad that no one was there. “This way.”

Matt came in and you followed just right behind him, locking the door as you shut it. “Open your shirt.”

Matt’s body was painted with cuts, bruises, and sweats. You cleaned him up as clean as you could. You dabbed the cotton on his stitched body and threw off the bloodied gloves. “Do I even want to know why you got this in the first place? Because I know damn well that you’re a lawyer for God’ sake.”

“I am a really good lawyer,” he smiled as he put on his shirt back.

You glanced at him. “This isn’t funny, Murdock.”

The year when you were at college, you were just some student who just wanted to learn and make the world a better place. And by some little accident you were caught off guard when someone with black glasses and a white cane came out of nowhere and made you spill your coffee on your clothes. You wanted to yell, but noticed that he was blind. Of course, even though he’s blind, you knew you shouldn’t yell for this kind of accident, but sometimes medical school gave you the headaches.

“Y/N?” Matt asked.

You regained yourself from the memories and shook your head. Keep it together Y/N! “Yes, what?”

“Are you okay?” He frowned.

“Yup,” You said, unlocking the door. “Let’s go, I need to walk you out before anyone sees us.”

You took him by the elbow and led him from the back entrance. The cold air tonight was chilling you to the bone. You gritted your teeth as you walked with him through the dark alleyway. “Really Matt,” You hissed at the wind. “What really happened?”

“It’s better if we talk about this another day, hm?” He asked. “We can eat dinner at your favorite place.”

You’re confused as to what Matt’d said. It was so random and serious at the same time. “What the hell, Matt? I’m not looking for a date, damn it!”

"Then you won’t get an answer,” he smirked.

“You are unbelievable, Murdock.” You sighed. “Fine then, I won’t get an answer.”

His face quickly dropped to a frown. “Wait, you don’t want the answer?”

“Yes,” I looked back at him again. “What? Is this like the first time someone turned down on a date to you?

You knew the cold was already making both of your faces turned rosy because the blood slowed down. What you didn’t expect were Matt’s face turning redder like a tomato. “Wait,” you chuckled. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Damn it, L/N!” He hissed.

You laughed as if this was the best thing from the whole day. You knew Matt had a handsome face and people wouldn't turn down on him even though he’s blind. But, God! You were the first to reject him. “I should really get that award for that.”

He smiled even though you were shaming him. “Yes, you should.”

“Hey, don’t get me wrong. You do have a handsome face-”

“I do?” He smirked

“-I give you that. But it’s just that when you’re a nurse, you have a little time for yourself. And I’m afraid I will let down to someone I care about.”

“Hey,” he walked close to you, rubbing his hands to your shoulders down to your arms. “Being a nurse itself is a gift. You won’t let people down because your job is to bring people up, okay?”

Sometimes you forgot that a word of encouragement by a stranger or even the people you knew could give you solid validation. You knew of course that It must be started with yourself, but still, you could be doubtful with yourself. You kinda glad that it was Matt Murdock who said to you, you really need that.

You pulled him to you and hugged him. His hand traveled to your back and stroked it with gentleness. You kissed his shoulder and put your head in the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Matty.” You whispered.

He kissed the crown of your head, whispering back. “You’re welcome, Y/N.”

After a brief moment of something new to you, you pulled back and said to him. “Hey, Matt?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you can repay me with something other than a date.”

“Oh, yeah?” He smiled. “What’s that?”

“Stay alive will you?”

He laughed. “Of course, Y/N. For you, I will.”

___

A/N: For now this consider as a one-shot, but there’s a possibility become a mini series. Hope you like it.

[pricetheghost0]

Tw sh, cringe

Words: 3700

Kenma x depressed reader

Your parents were like most other parents. They were nice enough every now and then but they still had their quirks.

Your dad was aloof like a cat who couldn't care less about you existing or not. He only showed that he cared when he found out the first time about your self harm.

Your mom was the type to switch things up. Occasionally she would want to hug you or make you food. Most of the time though, she would argue and put you down. She called you a bitch, a whore, a useless brat, etc. This drove you crazy when she acted nice.

On a typical Tuesday during the first week of school, you woke up and went downstairs. You were dressed and physically ready. Mentally you wish you could just stay in bed for the rest of your life. Your mother had your lunch ready and you slapped together a piece of toast and jelly.

As you ate in the car you put an earbud in to listen to (your favorite playlist). You can't stand the radio.

Your pov

I swear to God, if I have to hear "happy" by Pharrell Williams one more time, I'm gonna fucking lose it. It's so repetitive and annoying. No one is that happy. Well… unless you are on drugs… then maybe.

We finally made it. I'm a freshman which is super cringy. Most of them run around the halls as if they are happy to be in school.

I step out of the car and see the sign for Nekoma high school. I grab my stuff and head inside.

Time skip to lunch cuz I'm hungry

I sit under a tree and start listening to music so I can calm my dying social battery. It is pretty warm outside making a sweater and thigh highs seem a tad odd. Of course I switched my happy and bubbly personality on so people don't question it too much.

I had my best friend with me. She is moving soon but I knew she could get the school to think this is just my style since she is a super popular senior. bsf/n never knew why I would cover up. For all she knew, it really is my style.

I couldn't possible flat out tell her "I know we are sad you are moving away but I just wanna let you know I cut myself for fun". I know she'd feel guilty and take my blades away. That sounds like too much of a pain.

As me and bsf/n were sharing songs with each other, a guy came up to us. He seemed too cocky for me and I went back to looking at my phone.

"Hey Kuroo! Whatcha doin without kenma?" Bsf/n said standing up and hugging him.

"He wanted to be alone to play games. Something about a social battery. I wasn't really listening though." Kuroo shrugged with a sigh.

I let out a small laugh. So he's a bit like me. He seems to have more confidence though since he told his friend to leave him alone.

"Who's this? Why is she laughing at my pain?" Kuroo joked.

"This is y/n. She also talks about social batteries but she usually whispers way too quietly for me to hear. What is a social battery?" Bsf/n asked.

"If I talk to too many people in a day I get tired and lowkey wanna beat the shit outta the next person that looks at me. That's only when it dies tho." I said still not paying attention to the beanstalk in front of me.

"Did Kenma wanna punch me then?!" Kuroo asked, looking in my direction. I ignored him. My battery was dead and I was over it.

"Heyyyyy answerrrr!" Kuroo pouted like a baby. I needed a way to stop my anger. I wanted to stab him. He talks way too much and I'm not interested.

"I'll see you later bsf/n." I got up and grabbed my stuff.

"O-ok. Are you alright?" She said with a caring tone.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kuroo was worried.

"I'm fine. I just think I started early." I had to make some kinda excuse. This was good enough because kuroo wouldn't dare question me.

"Do you need anything?" Bsf/n asked while ready to give me the world.

"Not right now." I walked away and went straight to the bathroom. I locked the stall door and took out my blade. It was in a pencil case that I put back in my bag.

I rolled my sleeve up to show scabs and scars all over my upper forearm. For the people who cut their wrists… for the love of god grow up.

I sliced and made a few cat scratches which weren't good enough. I dabbed the blood away with the thinnest toilet paper you could ever find. I take a quiet deep breath. I steady the blade and swipe it.

I had forgotten this was a new blade.

Fuck.

I reached beans for the first time. It hurt like a bitch. I can't lie. It is kinda pretty as blood fills it. The cut was in the fattiest area of my forearm. This probably saved me a trip to the hospital.

My arm is still throbbing so I made the executive decision to stop before things got outta hand. I stopped the bleeding for the most part and pulled my sleeve down. After putting everything away, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

It was my free period and I sure as hell didn't want to talk to people so I headed up to the roof. What kid would be up there when it's this hot?

I walk up the shit ton of stairs with my 2 ton back pack. I open the door to the roof and I sit in the shade. Then I made eye contact with a cat???? Nope it's just a middle schooler who got lost.i look back down at my phone and load up subway surfers. It's an OK game. It's good for passing time while listening to music.

"Why are you here?" The kid asks quietly.

"Shouldn't I be asking that? Aren't you a middle schooler?" I asked not looking up from my game.

"WHAT? I'm not a middle schooler though." The guy said.

"Oh… sorry. I'm up here cuz my social battery died. Then this guy named kuroo came to talk to my friend and he's exaughsting." I ranted.

"He really is that's why my social battery dies so often." He said with a small laugh

"You know him?" I asked while immersed in the game.

"Yeah. He's my friend. Oh, my names-" the guy couldn't finish his sentence.

"FUCK" right before I beat my high score I lost.

"... Kenma… u good?" He finished and looked up from his phone as I smacked the wall with my arm out of pure rage.

"Well hi kenma, my name is y/n. I almost beat my high score." I said wanting to cry out of anger.

"What are you playing?" Kenma asked.

"Subway surfers. Y'know, something to pass the time." I shrugged lowkey embarrassed that I was playing a game for 9 year olds.

"What's your high score?" Kenma tilted his head.

"583,857" I said, questioning why I'm answering all his questions.

"Really? Well mines 826,291." He boasted. This lowkey pissed me off but before I knew it he spoke again. "Hey ummm… I think you hit the wall too hard. Your arm is bleeding."

"Oh shi- what the fuck." I panicked. It was like I thought he would know what happened. He did have his suspicions because a lot of people who have social batteries get roped into self harm of some kind. Your stupid panicking only proved him right.

He went into his back and grabbed a fresh bandage and jacket he usually kept for himself and handed it to me and left. He didn't want to say anything since he knew how awkward it is to talk about. He had the bad luck of Kuroo finding out. Of course, knowing kuroo, the poor guy is usually never left alone except for when they are at school when kuroo assumes it's safe.

I was shocked and knew he knew. I didn't know if I should have felt greatful or upset that he didn't say anything. I chose to be grateful since it made me realize he wouldn't tell anyone. Not to mention the fact that he probably does the same or at least used to because he had his in his bag. I made sure the area was clear and started wrapping my arm.

Kenma pov

Kuroo is probably looking for me. It's pretty sad he burnt 2 people out. He is probably coming up here now to get me to play volleyball with him.

That's when I noticed y/ns arm was bleeding. It wasn't too much blood but it would've been rough to keep it unbandaged. I knew she couldn't walk around with a bloody sweater because that would draw way too much attention. Just thinking of it makes me sick. I opened the door and low and behold I saw kuroo and bsf/n that were about to open the door. I didn't want them seeing y/n like this so I guarded the door.

I talked with the two idiots questioning if I saw you. I told them I didn't and after a little bit we walked away. I knew you would be able to wrap it up pretty quickly and move on.

Time skip to the end of school 😮‍💨

Who knows what pov this is

You finished class and saw bsf/n waiting for you.

"Hey y/nnnn…" she paused. "Isn't that Kenmas jacket? Hold on, follow me."

She grabbed my hand without me being able to answer and before I knew it we were at the gym.

"Heyyyyy bsf/nnnnn." a guy screamed and came running at us then stopped. "Wait… who's his pretty girl you have with you. Wait…" he snaps his head at Kenma. "ISN'T THAT YOUR JACKET?! YOU TRAITOR!"

"So what if it's my hoodie Yamamoto? I spilled my apple juice on her sweater." Kenma covered for me.

Both the team and bsf/n gasped. They were shocked that Kenma was nice to someone for once.

"Wait… when were you together?" Kuroo questioned.

"Stairwell when I was going to the roof" kenma covered again.

"That was right after I left." I said lowkey panicking because there were so many eyes on me and I kept feeling phantom blood flowing down my arm.

Something about them was kinda comforting. I already played volleyball in middle school even though that team sucked major ass, I still knew a lot about the game.

—--------------------------

After a few weeks I became more comfortable with the team. I could stay clean a little easier but I ended up slicing my upper thighs a lot. I run out of space a lot because I only like Styros which take up a lot of space. The team still had no clue even tho I was 99% sure Kenma knew.

I came to their games and cheered them on. Then I became their team's manager. Granted it was a tad late but it wasn't bad. Everyone welcomed me and me and Kenma grew closer. We shared games and tips for said games. We had a lot of fun but it seemed like he looked sad every now and then. Ironically, it was alway right after I cut myself. Maybe it was his intuition.

—-----------------

It was a normal day at practice. It was amazing how fast these guys could be. They slammed the ball down so hard I thought it could easily knock someone out. (Rip daichi even though it wasn't the spikes fault) I watched in awe and got water for the team. After a little bit they were practicing their spikes and sets and I was chasing balls down. I didn't mind it. It was good exercise but it did irritate my cuts a shit ton. They burned so bad it made me a bit angry.

As I was grabbing a ball I heard Kenma yell "WATCH OUT Y/N". I was a little shocked he could be this loud. I was too busy focusing on the fact that Kenma yelled to move out of the way. All of a sudden a ball smacked my thigh as hard as it could from Kuroos spike.

It hurt.

It hurt so bad.

My knees buckled from the pain and I landed on the floor. Kenma knew what just happened and ran to me. I couldn't help but cry as the whole team surrounded me. Before I knew it, Kenma sent everyone away as he yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER". Everyone was shocked that he could be so aggressive. It took a second for people to leave my side. They knew he was serious with the way he was acting so they couldn't defy him.

"I know it hurts but I am not that strong so can you help me help you walk." Kenma said quietly and I nodded.

Kenma pov

I set the ball for Kuroo which I had done all of the time and of course it was perfect. All of a sudden I noticed the ball was going to hit y/n. I yelled because I knew she had to have run out of space on her arm and I knew she still harmed herself. I didn't want the ball to hit her wounds. I promised myself that if I saw her bleeding again I would talk to her about it and I didn't want that moment to come so soon. It made me nervous.

Then bam. The ball hit her tight and she ended up on the ground.

Shit shit shit shit shit. It definitely hit her where she began harming.

I ran over to her and she started crying. I ran my hands through her hair as I noticed the whole team ran over to us. I panicked because I didn't want them to see any blood that might come from her thigh so without realizing it, I yelled at them to go away. Thank God they left but now I have to worry about y/n.

Shit I can't carry her. I'm the size of a raw spaghetti noodle. There is no way I'll let anyone else see this though.

Y/n's pov

I was helped up and Kenma put his arm around me with my arm around his neck.

"I'm sorry if this is really awkward." Kenma blushed a tiny bit.

"Haha I should be the one that's embarrassed since I only got it with a spike while you guys get hit all of the time." I laughed a little.

When we reached the club room that was fairly close to where we were, Kenma sat me down on a chair and closed the door. He looked serious and I got nervous. I've never seen him like this.

"Um so I really don't know how to bring this up any easier." Kenma said as he grabbed a first aid kit from the cabinet next to him.

"What do you mean?" I tried to cover up the nervousness.

"I know about your self harm. That's why this hurt so bad." Kenma looked down.

"O-oh" my heart is now beating in my throat and I try to get up so I can leave this situation.

"I'm really sorry but you are bleeding on the floor. So unless you want to draw more attention… you might wanna wait here." Kenma said really embarrassed as he was shaming himself for looking at your thigh and for mentioning self harm at all.

"Shit… I wanna throw up. This is so awkward." You felt lowkey disgusted that he had to say anything but also that he knew about it.

Kenma, being the awkward person he is, handed you a trashcan in case you actually were going to throw up.

"I noticed since I do it too. I get a vibe and it was proven with your facial expressions and personality as well as the dead giveaway being the way you dressed. I'm really sorry this is so awkward. I don't have to wrap them up if you don't want me to since they are on your thigh." Kenma said as his emotions spiraled.

"You what?..." I was shocked by his confession about him doing the same thing as me. Kenma just nodded and showed the scars on his stomach.

"Kenma…" I said quietly while my pride flowed out in my tears.

"Yes y/n? Oh sorry I can get out" kenma started opening the door.

3rd pov???

"Can I please have a hug?" You just needed some comfort. At this point you would hug a complete stranger. You needed to calm down in a way self harm couldn't help you.

"Sure" , Kenma smiled a little and closed the door again. He walked over to you and got on his knees so he could be on your level. He gave you the 1st hug you've received in a long time. You didn't know how much you actually needed this until this moment. Of course he was careful to not get your blood all over him but he needed his hug as much as you did.

After a while he left you to bandage yourself up and clean the floor. Thank God you only bled on the club room floor since your skirt collected the rest of the blood. The problem was that since you bled on your skirt, it was now a bit shiny and crunchy. You panicked and didn't know what to do.

You slowly opened the door and saw Kenma being your little guard dog while looking at the team practicing.

"You alright now?" Kenma asked with a caring tone.

"Yea but is it noticeable I got blood on my skirt? It helps that it's black but still…" you asked not really wanting to be more of a burden. You felt like you were an attention whore at this point.

Kenma felt like it was super awkward to look at your skirt but he checked anyway because he knew his second opinion would be important.

"Um… it is kinda noticeable. Sorry." Kenma said quickly, looking away.

"Shittt" you panicked not knowing what to do.

"Here lemme see." Kenma walked into the room and closed the door again. He opened his locker and handed you an extra pair of sweatpants. You were the same height so it was the perfect idea. He also handed you a shirt to match the pants. You hadn't changed out of your uniform since it was too awkward for you to do.

He left the room and let you get changed. You walked out and joined Kenna to walk down and continue the hour left of practice.

“Y/nnnn are you ok?!?!” Yamamoto yelled.

“I’m so sorry y/n!” Kuroo apologized like I was a monarch that was going to behead him.

“I’m fine I’m fine.” I smiled.

“Wait. Why are you wearing Kenma’s clothes againnnnn.” Yamamoto pouted.

“A while ago my dog bit me really bad and it was still healing. When I got hit it opened up again. The skirt was gross so Kenna was nice enough to lend me these.” You noticed you were going to get attention anyway but for some reason, being near Kenna calms you down.

Kuroo apologized again and Yamamoto was still pouting about not being able to give you his clothes.

The team carried on like usual and you were fine. The coach made you sit out for the rest of the practice to only get water and to take notes on their weaknesses. You were good enough at analyzing that he let you help him coach the guys to be better. This low key gave you a power trip.

——————————————————————

You grew even closer to Kenna and you always have game and movie nights where you would just lie around and eat and chill. Kenmas mother is super nice and would always make you guys amazing snacks and give movie recommendations. The team was jealous but you both ignored it.

You relapsed less but it was still a problem. Kenma was worried about hurting you but he knew bringing it up every time would be hard for you. Every now and then he would bandage your arms and attempt to help you feel better. Of course since he didn’t really know what to do he would just wrap you up in blankets and give you your favorite snacks and candy.

After a few months you were super comfortable with each other. You also helped him through bad days. You would do the same things he did by wrapping him in blankets and giving him bite sized homemade apple pies. Before you knew it you two were dating. You were quiet but chaotic together. The team was half jealous and half happy about the news.

You had loads of inside jokes and that made people jealous but who cares as long as you two were happy.

Once Kenma came over to your house your dad ignored and kinda glared at Kenma. Your mother scolded you for having a guy over right after he left for the bathroom. Kenma was angry but he knew he had no power over them. Once he left the bathroom you told him not to worry since your mother got mad over everything. This made him angrier but he just hugged you instead.

————————————————————

Years later you moved out together and are now super happy. Neither of you relapsed in a long time and you were both super proud. You pursue your dream job and Kenma is a popular streamer. You lived well and had two adorable dogs. Your dog is a (your fav dog) and (another fav dog). Kenma has a calico cat that bosses the dogs around all of the time. You could never ask for more. 🥺

[beauty-and-passion]

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

________________________

2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

________________________

3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

________________________

4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

________________________

5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

________________________

6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

________________________

7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

________________________

8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

________________________

9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

________________________

10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

[honey-im-hotdog]

You’re My Home

Ronald Speirs x reader

Author’s Note: She may be depressed folks, but she’s still able to write garbage! I am completely in love with this fucker so here’s a little snippet from ONE of my daydream scenarios for Speirs (cause I’ve got three whole ass ocs and daydreams going on at the same time for this bitch, it’s the ✨mental illnesses✨ sis). Enjoy ;)

Obviously this is based on the HBO miniseries, no disrespect to the actual guys.

As always, reader is supposed to be gn+vague, so if you catch any mistakes related to that please let me know.

Word Count: 0.7k I’m incapable of writing anything longer 😭

Warnings: Cheessyyyy, ooc sparky?, me trying to be romantic but failing idk, the wrong use of the word “incite” (I spent like 5+ minutes on thesaurus.com trying to find a better word but couldn’t so deal with it), probably bad uwu

Summary: You tell Ron he’s your home. (Lol this summary is so cringy 💀)

god it was so hard choosing a gif I got too busy just looking at them all and then to top it off he had to look fine as fuck in all of them 😭😭 it’s not fair!!

Germany had surrendered. Victory in Europe had passed by you months ago. You should have been home, but instead here you are, in the beautiful town of Zell Am See, waiting to go to the Pacific. Waiting to go to war again.

You, actually, have enough points to go home; you don’t need to go to the other side of the world to continue fighting in this damn war, not anymore. But how do you leave your men—your friends—behind? You don’t want to stay, but what home are you supposed to return to? What home do you go back to when home has become something new?

“You’ve decided, haven't you?”

You’re currently standing at the desk in Ron’s room, while he sits at the foot of the bed, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him, and his lips pressed against them. You can tell by the look on his face, a mix of apprehension and determination staining his features. You can also guess what decision he’s come to exactly.

He isn’t looking at you, his solomun eyes cast downwards. You can count on one hand the amount of times he’s shied away from meeting your eyes, so this further solidifies what you’re sure he’s about to utter next.

“I’m staying.” Your breath hitches for a second, but you aren’t really surprised. “The, uh, the men need someone to guide them an—”

“Ron,” your gentle voice shuts him up. It’s the understanding seeping through the single word that finally has him looking up at you. “I understand, honey.” Your smile surprises him.

“Yeah?” You’ve only heard his voice sound this soft occasionally.

You know he’s worried about you, regarding him wanting to stay behind and keep fighting the war. He doesn’t want you to go to the Pacific, but he also doesn’t want to let you go. Not now that you two have finally gotten together, not now after you two spent the last three years dancing around each other.

Not now that you’re finally his.

“Darling,” you cross the room and sit next to him, your body pressing into his side. You start to speak but let out a heavy sigh and take his hand instead. After a beat of silence, you continue, “ever since the rumors about the Pacific started a while ago, I had a feeling you’d wanna stay. As much as I don’t like it. It’s obvious you were made to be in the military,” you add a little laugh at the end, which incits a tiny quirk of his lips in return, before he looks down at your intertwined fingers. “And as much as I hate the idea of continuing fighting, I’m going to stay as long as you will.”

He’s quick to start protesting. “No. You have to go hom—”

“Ron, I’m not going home,” you get his attention again. “There isn’t a home left for me back there. These past three years I’ve realized something: home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling,” you duck your head a little to the side to make sure he’s looking at you, “and that feeling for me is you, Ron. I’ll go wherever you go.” You hold his gaze for a second before adding in a warm whisper, “I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

He whispers your name back in disbelief, but you can hear the underlying happiness in his voice.

“Ronald Speirs,” you begin, moving off of the bed.

“No,” he shakes his head, finally smiling, “no, I’m supposed to be doing this.” He moves to grab something from his pocket but you press your hands over his and get down before him.

“Yeah well, I’m beating you to it, Sparky.” You grin wide and look up at him, “Ronald Spei—”

“Will you marry me?”

“Ron!” You fall back onto your heels with a huff, “that’s not fair!” Your whine draws out a laugh from him.

He slides off of the bed and kneels with you, “c’mon baby, say you’ll marry me.”

“No.” You pout and cross your arms, turning your head to the left.

He moves towards you and hugs you close to his chest, “okay fine, I’m sorry. I’ll let you ask me.”

“No.”

He lets out a chuckle and drops his head onto your shoulder. “Ask me. Please.”

After a second’s pause, you turn to face him. You gently cup his cheeks and ask, “Ronald Speirs, will you marry me?”

“Yeah,” his breathy response comes in an instant. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so freely. “Yeah, I’ll marry you, darling.”

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[mlmmetalhead]

Proper men.

Ftm!Roy Trenneman x Ftm!reader

CW: swearing, cringe cheesy writing

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Y/N looked at his boyfriend, eyes wide.

"Totally."

"Alright, let's do the thing"

3...

2...

1...

"OH GOD ERIC GIVES ME GENDER ENVY"

"I WOULD REALLY LIKE SOME SODA- Wait, what?"

"Ok, so we weren't thinking the same thing."

"Close enough!"

The couple laughed, as they went out of movie theater, just finished watching "Passengers".

It was often like this. Both, Roy and Y/N felt relieved while chatting with each other, not needing to keep track of things they said, incase it was something "weird", according to their cis surrounding.

Both of them met already on T, or full transitioned, at work, but they both kind of figured it out fast. *cough* although Roy was oblivious to it for a long time *cough*

They came out to each other at a work party, while drunk, it sort of went out like:

"Dude, yk, I'm trans"

"I was about to say that!"

After that, their friendship tightened, they both were laughing their asses off at local jokes and helping each other out.

I can totally see Roy commenting "Cis men", like that one time, he said "People", after a cringy dialogue between Jen and her new bf, and Y/N agreeing with a smile.

About the relationship progress... Well, they both have been crushing on each other for a long time, but after becoming practically best friends, everyone was already seeing them as a couple.

Rightfully so, because the two were unseparable, really vocal about their strong feelings, and also not being shy about physical contact.

It was the peak when Douglas labeled them as "The cutest couple of our workplace".

After that, they both went off to a safe place to talk to each other.

It begun with awkward silence. A lot of it.

Then, L/N finally spoke up: "Well um... How are you feeling about us being nominated that?" He awkwardly laughed, but choked it down fast.

"I don't know... Seems funny, right? Should we tell Douglas we aren't dating?"

"Is this... True, though, Roy..?"

"Wait w- wait, did I forget? Did I really forget we were-" Trenneman panicked, looking at his friend wide-eyed.

"No, no, no, calm down, you didn't." Y/N smiled, calming the other man down. "What I mean is... Roy... What... Are we?"

"Ugh... I think it's pretty obvious, we're best friends, right?"

"Well, for Douglas it's not obvious, as you can see. And... Rightfully so, we don't really behave like it... Y'know... Fuck, man, we're hugging each other half of the day, and practically making out with those little face kisses."

"I'm sorry... Is it wrong to do that, with your friends?" Roy sounded so much more silent and sad.

Y/N's face dropped. "No... No, no, no... Roy, babe, I mean- Shit... Fuck... I just... I don't know if I should hope for anything."

"Hope...? Wait, does this mean like-"

"Yes, Roy. I thought it was obvious. I um... I like you. A lot. And I don't know if I should keep hoping, and paying mind to this much of contact between us, or should I just move on already. Daniel from the security seems nice, why wont start pining for him, if-"

Y/N was silenced, with a pair of lips on his own. It was a brief, nervous kiss, but it was full of feelings. And when they separated, Roy looked wrecked out of his mind. He looked as if he was going to pass out. Y/N broke out of his trance, and gently held Roy by his upper arm.

"Oh. Uh- I- you alright?"

"Yeah, just fine... I just... Wanted to tell you... I... It's mutual". There were his last words, before actually passing out, as he explained after, out of happiness.

That was the strange start, to an even stranger, but loving relationships.

I'm so sorry this absolutely sucks ass but it's 3 am I'm sleep deprived life is pain