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#im in love w self sabotage 😎
fuyuesu
·
2 years
Text
why did i have the most delayed reaction to a heartbreaking event in my life ever
#despot vents
#i cut off my best friends 2 months ago
#and back then i was fine
#but now suddenly 2 months later its like theyre all i can think about
#i think im going crazy
#i can't stop loving them i physically can't. but i will never be loved back bc i tried to make sure they hated me before i left
#im in love w self sabotage 😎
#i know they hurt me i know i cant trust them again . but if i could go back in time and change one thing
#i would make sure things didnt end the way they did
#preferably id communicate rather than just dipping and hoping theyd hate me too much to care
#(...and then feeling pain bc of the thought of them actually hating me . love my contradictory brain)
#or yknow. preferably id make sure things never ended at all
#sometimes i think it might be better if i were alone
#like if nobody had to put up w whatever i have going on and i didnt have any friendships to ruin . thatd be a win win situation i think
#sorry for being depressing ^_^ im going to go play video game now
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