#im in uni and i feel so horrible and sad and embarrassed

[howabhwmwn]

I sadly wont be surviving today , i spilled an energy drink exploded all over my laptop and its dead now, im going to walk off a cliff now.

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

HIII this is probably gonna be the last ask i send as your swiftie exchange anon haha! also i dont know what timezone you are but ive scheduled it for 6am gmt for tomorrow if i remember correct skdkekdfk (but also you said quid which means pounds i think so im taking a wild guess that you are somewhat the same timezone as me haha)

yep im in uni! honestly kinda harsh kakdkekxfj ive got tests on the first week back but i suppose that's to ne expected haha! it is quite stressful but like c'est la vie yk? good luck on your exams!!

oh also im so glad youre feeling better!! i hope you feel awesome soon!

oh yeahh that makes complete sense! you dont have to show them to me if you dont want to btw but once i reveal myself and you are okay w it you can dm me! (only if you want tho no pressure at all!!)

yeahh thats so real actually! people always want what they dont have and that makes me kinda sad but also im one of those people so ajdeksjd i cant really say anything abt it akfkekdjf

yeahh hypocrisy is so linked like to everyday stuff!! and what you said makes more sense than what i ever couldve ajdjejsjfn and inflation is HORRIBLE ive witnessed price of stuff like cheese go up by so much and it appals me! and that is a ridiculous difference from your phone bill!

oohh i wish i was you id love to meet my online friends!!

yeah!! like the main problem with fast fashion isnt the cheap quality (i mean perhaps it is) but also the PEOPLEEEE WHO BARELY GET PAIDD!!

thats such a thought out and good answer!! climate change and the way politicians handle shit is so real like it NEEDSS to be addressed!! and i hope you get to see your doctors!!

and same im such a pushover like i wish i could not be but alas it is but a dreamm!! i think for me what you said is basically my answer and like people being assholes and thinking theyre funny? lile people who think its okay to make offensive jokes or say a slur bc they think theyre funny annoys me soo bad!!!!! and also people who manipulate other people like ewwww and just like horrible people in general. also thats horrible!! why does anyone think its okay to do that???

hmm... honestly rename strawberries fluffleberries and making bananas rainbow sounds like an awesome idea sjdjekdn hmm this is hard kakdkdskf maybe i would replace car honks with goose honks hehe i feel like thats such a silly answer but tbf i am but a silly goose!! what about you?

and my question to you: what are some things you are grateful for (see i say things not people bc i feel like people is a very general question ajfjrjdjf but you can tell me people too if you want!!)

thank youu!! i had an awesone time chatting with you you're lovely <3

have an awesome day!!!

-swiftie spring exchange anonnnnn

Hello! My country change timezones slightly I think based on clocks, but I think we're currently BST? I can never remember, a bit embarrassing imo XD It's cool that we might be close in time zones!!

Ah I have no exams cause I'm not in uni, but I am tutoring kids for exams so does that count? XD I hope your tests go well!!

Cheap quality sucks, but it'd improve if companies were willing to give up just a teeny tiny bit of their profits...I've become so increasingly anti company over the last like 5 years I think XD And thank you!! Honestly the "offensive is funny" type is SO annoying. I've met a few that were like "uhhh it's dark humour" and I've been like. You do not have dark humour, you just want to be rude.

I did however get a cookie once from a guy who realised that I had been upset by his stupid joke (I can't remember what exactly it was, but I think it was like...either homophobic or misogynistic. The apology was nice to get because it was unexpected. Alas at the time I was unable to eat gluten so the cookie part was awkward.) And manipulation just sucks?? I feel like people get away with it a lot because it's not obviously awful until you realise what's going on.

Silly answers are encouraged for that one!! (And always tbh) XD And honestly I would get rid of sparkling water. I feel like it's like marmite - people love it or hate it. And I hate sparkling water, I literally cannot handle the texture. And one time I accidentally got some instead of regular water. The memory haunts me. So yeah I'd wind up half the world by getting rid of it altogether and just watch the chaos XD

My final answer (also I know who you are now cause of when I logged on BUT I'm gonna answer this anyways on here) would be my cats (haha not people so they slip through...not things either but not people), the way life has turned out (it's not perfect, but I'm in a much better position than I ever expected even just like 2 years ago), and my art abilities (because I like that I can draw, and draw pretty decently, it's a fun and usually relaxing hobby!)

I had the time of my life answering questions with you, and I look forwards to hopefully talking more with you!!

[arreumddawo]

27/3/21

HIIIIIIIIII, i’ve only blinked and its already MARCH. this time last year, what was i doing? i think i’ve already went for this current job interview and then a while later, the lockdown was announced~ but wow, time really flies huh. *cues the angmoh man blinking gif*

for the most part, i really want to write down the feelings i’ve been feeling (melancholy and loneliness) for the past few days and how i’ve sorted them out internally AND how i just want the future nabilah to just READ this and REMIND HERSELF that everything will be okay. it will be okay you dramatic, overreacting bitch! it will be okay. haha okay lets starteu~

#/melancholy 

i’ve been feeling downcast the past few days. i dont even know where to begin. melancholy as well as feelings of sadness and depression have always been a part of me since 2017 im not gonna lie but lately, these episodes got a little bad despite me trying to keep myself occupied hahah. for the most part, i am just really really afraid of getting older. i really am. its not so much of the “getting older part” which gets to me i guess but its more of how lately, i just want to turn the hands of time and go back to my past when i was 16 in secondary school (heck even primary school) and just live a life where i didnt have to worry about anything except for studying you know? where times were simpler and i was (definitely) happier. i miss wearing a school uniform, i miss only having to worry about my studies, i miss being at home at noon and watching disney channel until i accidentally nap and not understanding trig/physics/chem. oh- what id give to be in my youth again. id do anything. i would study harder and change my whole course of life and hope that i could be someone im proud of. im desperately clinging on to good memories. i terribly miss being young. i really do.

and recently, i feel like im expiring, i feel old (really old) which is funny cos ive only turned 23 BUT the fact will always be that im turning 24 this year (2021) AND its when the bone-crushing realisation of getting old really sinks in (for me). i find myself looking back at my accomplishments (which trust me is little to none) and i just feel like people are accomplishing great things (even at such a young age). there’s nothing in my life where i can truly be proud of. what have you done with your life, nabilah? questions i ask myself everyday. but then again, people would say the past experiences have shaped who i am today and without them, i would’ve been a completely different person WHICH brings me back to the next point. the current me right now who is writing this post is not someone im all that proud of either. i feel like- i feel like im struggling (keyword: struggling) to achieve great things before i turn 30 (and trust me when i say i dont even want to live that long of a life). i’m tired of adulting, of getting old, of having to worry about financial issues, of having to worry about whether i’m at that milestone where everyone expects me to be, of wondering whether im really suited for this field im currently working in. im aware that it may be very shallow of me to think this way considering that there are some people in their 30s who will probably read this, laugh at me and say “you’re still young + you still have a long way + you still have time to figure out your life” but the FACT is THAT im NOT young! i still have a long time to figure out my life? yeah that is if i plan to live way over my 30s (which i DONT). side note, my biggest fear is actually living a long life. so.. like.. what now?  

#/loneliness

this is a very touchy topic for me considering that i am planning to devote myself to the single life and dying a virgin because i really dont think (keyword: really, really) there’s a man good enough for me out there. even if there is, he lives only in my imagination. and yes, as embarrassed as i am to admit it, YES i do feel lonely at times. honestly, i really thought that loneliness is something im able to handle really well considering that ive been single.. what? my whole life? LOL HAHAHAH (its true. sucks to be ugly.) but yeahhhh as of late, during times when things get hard at work and i start tearing up in public transport on the way home, when home doesnt feel like home anymore, when the world conspires against me... i look up and wonder @God, “don’t i deserve someone who i can talk to, who loves me for who i am, who doesnt mind the mess i am?” ok that was abit cringey but yeah i used to be ashamed of secretly wanting someone special despite swearing to the single life BUT thats just how it is! and honestly i feel that humans are not psychologically meant to be lonely, that is why we’ll always crave for a partner (even if we dont need one). but all that aside, its not like im going to even try and find one (like i said, there is no one good enough for me out there) and i absolutely detest the idea of getting married and having kids so i will have to suck this lonely feeling up and just live. for the most part, i just wanted to point out how lonely this adult life can be.

side note: its really great that i have a really good support system (my siblings and friends), so yeah.. i’m really grateful for that<3.

things i want the future nabilah to read (now that i have come to terms with these feelings):

phew that was a rollercoaster now wasnt it. now that you’ve typed all that and acknowledged what you feel, i have a few things to say to you.

i just want you to know that you are (as much as you dont want to hear this or dont believe in this), you are doing well (at least the future you reading this wont look back and be embarrassed of who you were). you may not have done well for o’s, may have slacked a bit during poly and uni and regret everything academic wise (and yes personality wise) but always remember that, these things do not define the authentic real you. not getting into a local university and not achieving greater things in life during your youth, these are trifle things that you shouldnt be ashamed of or even beat yourself up about. after all, they dont matter in the afterlife?? so like, stop it. its not like you can go back to the past and change it, you only have control of the present and thats WHAT you have to work on. as tough as it may be, as much as you refuse to get old, the harsh reality is that you have to and you will. you have a degree and you’re getting experience working in the field you have always been curious about and you’re on your way to get a another diploma under your belt. you’re really doing the most if i must say??. and you’re so lucky to be able to love what you studied and do what you like. off track and a side note, i wanted to tell you that i woke up today feeling a tremendous shift in me (and i really honestly think its because of the conversations i had with zim, bff and syiqs the past consecutive days). but i honestly woke up feeling excited at what i have to offer the world. you may not be the prettiest and the smartest but the amount of love you have (and willing to give) in your heart, the feelings of empathy you’re capable of and the change you want to make in lives.. these are things that define you and you can do just that. there are times where you will definitely feel afraid and wonder if you’re doing the right thing but as long as you keep reminding yourself of your morals and values, i think you’re pretty much on the right track. 

and i know, i know you hate yourself more than anything else in this world. the face you see in the mirror and the horrible things you feel inside you, your dumb thoughts and all that but i really pray that in the years to come, you’ll grow to be kinder to yourself (and definitely the people around you). be kinder to yourself and have courage to face your flaws and work towards being a better person everyday. be kind to everyone (especially your parents) and just have a little faith that you can go through many hurdles in your life. you cannot do everything but you can do some great things and that is enough. i dont have to remind you that everything here and now in this world is just temporary right? remember the podcast you heard yesterday? true happiness will be in the afterlife, inshaAllah. death will come for you, you just have to be patient and never forget to work towards the afterlife. also dont feel too lonely. ultimately, you know you dont have the mental capacity for things like marriage and having kids and all but dear nabilah, if you get lucky and love comes to you one day through Allah, i hope that you dont close your doors firmly shut to it and embrace it if you may (only run when the guy proposes cos u aint got no time for that). last but not least, please never let go of good memories. cling on to them and let them be attestations of your kindness and love. always be kind and always try to be better for the people around you. i hope you’re smiling as you read this, i hope you’re proud of who you have become and i hope that you continue to always remind yourself of amazing person you are, despite all that you went through. 

- 23 year old nabilah (technically 24 this year but hey SUCK IT TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT)

[santiagostyle]

hi this is me sending u every single emoji from the ask meme bc im too lazy to type out just the ones i want to ask

dammit jo why u gotta do this to me (jk I’m excited) (also I deleted some questions bc I’m stupid and idk what half of them mean or how to answer them COOL)

Send me emojis!

(hella long post sorry in advance)

☝ - How tall are you?

5′6″ I’m pretty sure

✔ - Sexual Orientation

Lmao good question

🚬 - Do you Smoke?

I mean ??? No but I’ve tried it does that count

🍷 - Do you Drink?

On occasion yes

♒ - Do you Take Drugs?

Negative

😳 - Age you get mistaken for?

TBH either 15 or 25 there is no in between

💉 - Have Tattoos?

Nope

✏️ - Want any tattoos?

Maybe?? Most likely a Florence lyric (”I’m gonna be free and I’m gonna be fine”) but I have no idea where I would get it

✂️ - Got any Piercings?

I have three piercings in each earlobe

✌ - Want any piercings?

Maybe a cartilage piercing or something idk

👌 - Best friend?

I have several and their names are Sandra, Temiqua, Macy, Layne, Megan, and there’s more ok I’m stressed I can’t list them all I’ll be here all day

♥ - Do you like anyone?

Unfortunately yes I think so but I’m pretty sure I’m getting over it

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?

Florence + The Machine, The Fray, Daughter, Prince (and the Revolution/and the N.P.G), The Cranberries

Special mention to: Marina & The Diamonds, Lana Del Rey (I know she’s a singer not a band but I love her don’t @ me)

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?

Sucker - Peaches

Salvation - The Cranberries

Lying - Amy Meredith

Caught - Florence + The Machine

America - XYLØ

Special mention to: 

Raspberry Beret - Prince (for sentimental reasons)

Shut Up and Dance - Walk The Moon (also sentimental reasons)

Wake Me Up - Avicii (you guessed it)

Regular Touch - Vera Blue

Little Numbers - BOY

😒 - Biggest pet peeve?

People who take advantage of the fact that you love them

📝 - Story from your childhood.

I don’t really have any interesting stories from my childhood but I have one super embarrassing one… when I was little I used to get really really bad migraines pretty often and one time when I was in 1st grade I got super sick super fast and I went outside to get a drink of water and I ended up throwing up on (in? idk) somebody’s backpack and wow it was horrible and I don’t know why I’m sharing this 

💬 - I wish…

I wish I didn’t get distracted/frustrated so easily bc I have so many ideas and I don’t have the focus or patience to follow through with a lot of them

‼️ - Something you’ll change?

I mean hopefully I’ll stop procrastinating at some point but that’s unlikely

💦 - What makes you horny?

JFC going to church and hearing the word of the Lord!!!!! anyway this is an inaPPROPRIATE QUESTION (I’m kidding there’s a similar question further down I might be more serious there)

🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for?

Well if I put it here it won’t come true now will it

🔥 - Something spicy you like?

I like green curry from the Chinese restaurant my family always orders from

👃 You hate the smell of ….

Fish ugh

👊 - Something you hate?

Discrimination in any way shape or form ugh

🚶 - Are you single?

Yes

💭 - Favorite foods?

I really love Nutella and burritos (not together)

☀ - Story about your day.

I had an 8:30am lecture so that was fun (sarcasm, people) and then a seminar right afterwards, then grabbed lunch with some pals from uni then came home and read fan fiction tbh my life is wild 

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?

Melissa Fumero, Stephanie Beatriz, Andy Samberg, Robert Downey Jr, James Marsters circa 1999-2000

Special mention to: Ian Harding, Jude Law, Camilla Belle, Eliza Dushku, Keira Knightley, Karla Souza, Katie McGrath, Sarah Michelle Gellar circa 2001 jfc I love a lot of people

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?

Celeste & Jesse Forever: this movie ruined my life but I love it so much and also refuse to watch it ever again

Last Night: I was so angry at the end of this movie my best friend had to stop me from throwing her computer across the room but GOD it’s so so good 

Cruel Intentions: look I was like 15 when I first watched this movie and I was in no way prepared and tbh I am still #shook by how much people got away with in the 90s (and also… SMG with dark hair amirite)

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows: idk I like mystery movies and Robert Downey Jr and this is such a guilty pleasure movie I watch it all the time

The Emperor’s New Groove: I will fight anyone who thinks this is not the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever created okay I’ve loved it since I first watched it when I was like 2 years old and I still love it just as much now

Special mentions:

Stoker: I studied this movie in school and good GOD I will never understand why the Board of Studies thought it was appropriate to show Year 11 students but it’s so beautifully shot and it’s so weird and bizarre and unsettling and I love it 

The Road to El Dorado: a childhood favourite and a comedic masterpiece and I literally forced all my friends to watch it with me on my 18th birthday it was wonderful

Bridesmaids: just bloody hilarious and I remember the first time my mum and I watched it together we were literally in tears by the end of it bc we were laughing so hard

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?

Brooklyn 99: (duh) I don’t even need to explain this one

Utopia: I always describe this show as “the Australian version of The Office” even though I’ve never actually watched The Office but it’s just such wonderful Australian humour and I love it

Summer Heights High: another Aussie classic and good lord it’s so politically incorrect and full of horrible jokes but it’s basically an Australian rite of passage and as such I love it

How to Get Away With Murder: I love trying to solve everything and it’s funny and thrilling and also the cast is so beautiful

Thank God You’re Here: this show isn’t on anymore but I love improv so much and I love all the people who starred on it and god it was hilarious

Special mentions:

Have You Been Paying Attention?, Jane the Virgin, Gilmore Girls

✏ - Random fact about yourself.

I skipped Kindergarten??

✈️ - Where are you from?

Sydney, Australia

🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?

Europe. Just,,, everywhere

😍 - Do you have a crush?

I think so ??? I know I used to but idk if I’m over it yet

😷 - Something you hate eating?

Tomato

🙈 - What makes you shy?

MAKING PHONE CALLS

💃 - Can you dance?

I’m a dancer so I certainly hope so

💏 - Do you love anyone?

I love a lot of people but not romantically if that’s what this question means

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?

Idk I have this one pair of boots I wear pretty much every day

🌴 - A island you would visit?

I really want to go to Cuba

🌎 - A country you would visit?

Spain

🌀 - Favorite type of weather?

Thunderstorms, if I’m inside

🔮 - Do you believe in luck?

Yes

📱 - What kinda phone do you have?

iPhone SE

📅 - Favorite time of the year?

Christmas

📚 - Career goal you want?

Anything in the arts - acting, taking photos, writing, cinematography, dancing, producing, directing, stage handing, screenwriting, literally anything I’ll take it

🍭 - Favorite Candy?

TBH I love lollipops, specifically Chupa Chups 

(story time: one of my Year 12 teachers made a habit of bringing a whole packet of Chupa Chups to class every lesson because our class just would not shut up otherwise)

🍇 - Favorite fruits?

Strawberries, peaches, blackberries

🚘 - Dream car(s)?

I don’t really have one but I used to really want a Mercedes

🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?

Negative

🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?

No but I’ve had to call one

🎫 - Do you have a license?

I have my learner’s but can’t drive by myself yet lol I’m working on it

🚼 - Do you have or want kids?

I don’t have any and I don’t know if I want any

🔞 - Are you under 18?

Negative I’m 19

🐶 - Do you own a pet?

No :( 

😔 - Something that makes you sad?

The fact that there are so many people struggling (particularly with mental illness) and feeling hopeless/like they don’t have a support system

😡 - What pisses you off?

Literally just discrimination of any kind but also people who are arrogant and condescending and passive aggressive

😏 - What turns you on?

I mean idk I don’t really have a whole lot of anecdotal evidence ya know but generally I’m a pretty tactile person so physical contact is usually a good time I guess 

😈 - Are you a freak?

Idk probably

💪 - Do you work out?

I dance and do yoga every week, does that count?

[asksansweredpdf]

65 questions youre not used to

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? not until now

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? hm like a 3? i talk to spirits so sometimes i worry that they’re around

3. The person you would never want to meet? someone i used to know who things are now awkward with

4. What is your favorite word? oblong or shenanigans 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? idk like a mulberry tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? that my hair was sticking up from my sleep

7. What shirt are you wearing? pink &  blue stipy crop

8. What do you label yourself as? flamboyant & eccentric 

9. Bright room or dark room? dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? finishing infinity war or reading fanfic sjdfhjlkf

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 20

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my old best friend dom

13. Your worst enemy? i dont really have any enemies. i try to get on with everyone or keep to myself if that’s not possible

14. What is your current desktop picture? a scene from kiki’s delivery service with a window near some greenery

15. Do you like someone? not romantically no. i only ever go to work and work romances are inappropriate

16. The last song you listened to? pussy is gof

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? id like to say someone like trump, but i think his death wouldn’t really lead to much positive change. maybe a billionaire with an heir who would do better with what they have? i’lll have to research this

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nobody immediately springs to mind. 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? technically i’d make someone like jeff bezos my slave and then force him to give his money to the homeless, or to pay his workers a higher wage, or something to that anti-capitalist extent. maybe i’d force major ceos to try and combat global warming if it isnt too late

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) everyone says my eyes - and i do like them, but im inclined to say my hair. i love my hair so much

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? id be super hot with colourings like zayn malik or rdj and id probably immediately jack off dsfjlkdsjfkl

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no serious answers come to mind

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? asking people for a favour/for help. answering the phone when im not at work

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. my subway usual! white bread, chicken stips with melted cheese, cucumber, capsicum, olives, jalepenos, honey mustard sauce, salt and pepper

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? probably use it to save for a car, or to help fund dad’s trip to america/england that i got roped into having to pay for

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? i have work tomorrow :/ but i guess if i could get out of that i’d go to greece or something?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? ive never had expensive alcohol so i’d probably get like a scotch whiskey or some usual vodka (but pre-mixed. i always puke when i mix vodka myself)

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? YEEEESSSS, um first rule would be that everyone gets food/shelter/water for free. regardless of who you are. 

29. What is your favorite expletive? used to be shit, now i think it’s just fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? my phone

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? g o d. i think i’d erase either my 18th birthday or the day we first moved into the house im living in now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! fuck yeah i’d go live with harry styles or someone in america or england or whatever. maybe canada. canada seems cool. 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my mum’s father! i’ve always wanted to meet him. we have a lot in common from what i’m told (i was 2 when he died so i dont even remember him). but we’re both leos! we both love dancing and we both love music and singing (he was a musician. and music is like.....all i have). we both like cigarettes and swearing. we both had shit mothers. he seems a cool dude. he had that leo generosity and gave my mum a car and money when she needed it and i never had a good person/parent like that around and i’d love to know him and now im getting sad so. did not see that coming round the corner

34. What was your last dream about? this is going to sound weird but it was about this gross old fat dude sitting in a car next to me (i think my family started driving people around for money in my dream) and he started feeling me up and i told him off. 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? person? artist? singer? student? worker? nope. im not good at much. 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yeah twice that i can recall atm. once when i was 9 months for having a cyst on my ovary, and once when i was 19 for having gastro and puking non-stop.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? nah i wish. it doesnt snow in australia

38. What is the color of your socks? im not wearing any atm but the last pair i wore were red and black deadpool ones

39. What type of music do you like? GOD okay my answer is any type of music. but it has to be good. upbeat music? 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? vanilla or caramel

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i dont give a shit about sports

43. Do you have any scars? yeah i have one on my lower stomach from the surgery i got for my ovary cyst, one on my right hand from opening a tin of tuna and slicing my hand immediately (i later got food poisoning), i have some embarrassing ass self harm scars on my thighs, and i think that’s it? 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? well i graduate uni in just over a week (next saturday) and i have no clue. at the moment i just want to get a job that has a set amount of hours and a set/steady pay and doesnt make me anxious. a desk job that i’m not terrible at. then i can move out. and once im moved out i wont be in survival mode, and maybe then i can start dreaming. but for now im desperate enough to not even have dreams or wants. 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i would make me more assertive and less anxious. and a bit more funny. a bit more like an aries or a leo. i think i will be more like this when im moved out and secure with a consistent job and consistent living space. i havent had that for like 6 years.

46. Are you reliable? very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? god what a question. where should i work? and should i get a motorbike or a car? and id just ask for general advice

48. Do you hold grudges? absolutely. to be fair, i consider myself a very understanding and fair person, so it takes a lot to get me mad. but once im there, it’s usually justified and hard to change my mind. 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? like maybe a bird and a lion. imagine a flying lion. that’d be sick

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? out of what immediately springs to mind i have 2 equally strong contenders: 1) me, introducing myself to a worker on the first day at my job - “hi, i’m ____ by the way. i don’t think i’ve introduced myself to you yet” “i know.” “oh! sorry haha im just really bad with names and faces haha” "yeah. we went to school together. *walks away*  2) coworker: so how many babies do you think we’ll have to sacrifice to get a bigger back room? me: ........at least 1 million coworker: 1 million? wow! i was thinking like 7! me: 7? wow i really went overboard there. but wait! what counts as a baby? are there age or weight restrictions or? coworker: hm i think it’s like anyone under the age of 4 me: oh under 4? so if you kill a 5 year old and sacrifice it, then you’ve just wasted a kill and it doesn’t count? coworker: yeah pretty much.....i’ve done that a few times, actually. their parents were not happy me: yeah i’d imagine just as much. imagine having to have that conversation with their parents like ‘uhh sorry about that’ coworker: yeah and it was all for nothing too

51. Are you a good liar? yes, when i know the people and situation well. i usually plan out my lies in advance, but for whatever reason im actually a better liar when im thinking on my feet and improvising the lies. have no idea how or why. 

52. How long could you go without talking? fucking forever. i’m great at talking, a very good conversationalist. but fuck i love not having to talk to people. it’s so much effort. 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? my mum cut a fringe for me when i was 12. 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? all the time! i love baking

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? vegemite, egg, honey & peanut butter, sometimes jam (mostly when im high)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? captain phasma

58. What would be you dream car? a 59 cadillac, or most ferraris 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i dont usually sing in the shower, but i do enjoy a good shower dance routine

60. Do you believe in aliens? for sure! our universe is too huge and constantly expanding for there to be just us

61. Do you often read your horoscope? god you dont even want to know how much i fucking love astrology. astrology is my mind. it occupies about 1/3 of all my thoughts and i immediately try to figure out people’s signs within the first .... maybe 5 seconds of meeting them.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? maybe p or r or v

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies? cute when they’re not mine and i can give them back to their mothers after 5 minutes

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? feel like i would have tears in my eyes tbh Has your mum/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? yeah lets not think about that Do you know what it’s like to be truly happy? I have had those moments - they sure are rare Are there any musical instruments in the room you’re in? nope Are there any in your house at all? yep

What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) phone, laptop, camera, printer Do you have a box anywhere with special items you’ll to keep forever in it? i do but not at my uni home - they’re at my home home Do you have cordless phones in your house or not? nah If a horrible rumour was started about you and you found out who started it, what would you do with the person who started it? Confront them about it and be like why Are there any keyboards in your house that aren’t being use? nope Do you know who Draco Malfoy is? yes If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? yikes err i guess black and try to rock it but i am really fair Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls?                    not at my uni flat

Does your dad collect anything? postcards of our hometown Do you like all the new Disney movies like Wall-e more then the old cartoon ones, like Snow White and the Lion King? nah i prefer the classics  Do you ever press flowers into books so they’ll flatten all nicely? nah If you had a chance to marry Mason Musso, would you? erm no thanks Are the socks you’re wearing your favourite colour? What about your shirt? no socks on, and yes red is my favourite colour What’s better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. laptops because they’re so portable and easy to use Describe the worst day of your life. ha ha i really don’t wanna Describe the happiest day of your life. there isn’t one that stands out but im sure they’re many Do you know what ‘elaborate’ means? yes What about evidently? yes What’s the most you’ll pay for a pair of shoes?  try to keep it £80 and below but might go up to £150 if i really want them Do you prefer kisses on the nose, cheek or forehead? cheeeeks How many people do you know in your english class? well i go to uni so they change all the time but i know a few Have you ever stolen a question from another survey while making one? i only answer surveys What can a guy do to prove he’s a gentleman? be supportive towards his partner

Is age just a number? ehhh nope Is there someone who makes your stomach feel weak? there used to be but now he makes me feel sad Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? they used to but not any more What do you typically do on Easter Day? sunday roast Does it annoy you when people say the wrong form? yeah The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realise what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? go for it - depends how drunk i am Do you prefer new questions in surveys or the typical name, age, etc? simple questions are nice - i don’t like to think too much Are you embarrassed to tell people your weight?                                             a lil bit

Is there anyone you literally need to exist? yes Do you know what the difference between ‘your’ and 'you’re’ is? ya If it’s snowing, is Christmas extra special? for sure Do you know what AFV stands for? nope Do you think £30 for a pair of jeans is cheap? they can be cheaper Do you have any special plans for spring break? sleeep which is ofc special to me Think of any one of your friends’. What is their mum’s name? donna What is their favourite movie and TV show? Movies: Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Jaws and the Shrek movies    TV Shows: Gilmore Girls, The Office, Parks & Rec, One Tree Hill Have your parents ever told you a frightening lie about something so you wouldn’t do it? nah Would you have a career you can’t stand if you made a lot of money? yikes, i would hope i’d try and find something about the job to like because money is great Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt to say goodbye? ouch yep Do you think it’s stupid when people have x’s in their username? nah What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? flowers What does your hotmail username mean? don’t have hotmail account Apple juice or orange juice? orange for sure Do questions about sex in surveys make you uncomfortable? nah Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? i don’t think so Do ever have days when you feel really ugly? yeah If the last person you spoke to on AIM/MSN kissed you, what would you do? be shocked Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I’m a screw up. Do you plan on seeing the Hannah Montanna movie? not anytime soon but it was good Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? nah If you were interviewed for your best talent, what would that talent be? talented at not keeping a guy Do you know the chicken dance? yea If you asked your mum to describe you, what do you think she’d say? i don’t wanna think about this If a random person asked how old you are, would you tell them? yes What are you looking forward to? travelling

Do you ever wish you had a different family? nah Different friends? nah Do you ever have days when you just want to stay in bed all day long? ofc Is turkey the best part about the holidays?                                                   nah

[howabhwmwn]

I sadly wont be surviving today , i spilled an energy drink exploded all over my laptop and its dead now, im going to walk off a cliff now.