#im just a salty old horror movie fan

[west-tokyo-incidents]

Lays down.

Okay so I slept on it. I disliked the new movie. For multiple reasons. It's better than Hellraiser 3 and on after that, but they just drained literally 90% of the sexiness out of the cenobites. No leather like at all. Also the whole 'pain AND pleasure' thing is just gone. 'Demons to some, angels to others' ? Nope, just demons. All pain. And the box thing is dumb, they just kill whoever's blood gets on the blade, all agency in solving the puzzle thing is lost. Completely threw out the whole 'it is not the hands that call us, it is desire' LIKE WHAT THE HELL.

That said, on a positive note; I loved the practical gore effects, the cenobites' designs are objectively awesome leather or not(could have worked with the actors' bodies better with the prosthetics but that's a personal qualm), and Jamie as the Priest?? Hello??? I fucking melted every time she spoke??

God. There's so much potential there and I really hate that the writing and direction on the film fell so flat. Like, it's a visually gorgeous film. It was wonderful to watch from a visual stand point. But writing wise? It felt like a Dead by Daylight match, just killing the survivors. Except there are multiple killers.

[iwillgiveyoumyhappiness]

임창균, Im Changkyun

lostmyshame  asked:

Your Changkyun scenarios are so freaking cute! This boy is wrecking my life currently. May I request another one about him where he and the reader have been friends for few years and both were attracted to each other but too scared to ruin their friendship? And then on one rainy day their emotions take over? The literal physical need for each other, the desire to possess and belong, the fear of losing the most precious, all no longer concealable. Thank you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Group: Monsta X (몬스타엑스)

Member: I.M.

(A/N): Read with this album by Paper Planet

.

.

.

“Stop it,” she whispered into the dimly lit room, breaking a heavy silence that had taken over the usually very comfortable space of her living room. Her autumn-breeze breath fanned across hot cheeks, luckily hidden by the shadows cast by the rain drops dribbling down the windowpane. 

The skin that was so frightfully close to her own belonged to her friend—Im Changkyun. He hovered over her, a blurred silhouette before her eyes. He had two choices, as far as she saw it. 

Stay where he was and move no further, or back away before he did something he’d regret. 

They were friends, and that’s where their string of fate ended. 

At least, that’s what they would like it say. They would love it, of course, but simplicity is a luxury. One that their friendship was not blessed with. Their strings of fate were complicated and twisted, a baffling cipher of questions.

There were lines in a healthy friendship; ones that weren’t generally crossed. They thought they’d done a good enough job of that. Those lines were tempting and beguiling. They’d come to the very brink of them, but they’d never crossed them before.

There was the time their fingers brushed while walking, but instead of pulling away, they let it just keep happening. There were gazes that lingered for longer than they should have, hugs that lasted a second too long and moments where they would deny vehemently that they had any interest towards each other yet they would still be jealous if someone else got too close.

Despite how close they’d gotten before, they’d never stepped over that invisible barrier. But here he was... Two and a half steps closer to the personal bubble than was considered ‘friendly’.

He scanned her face, his eyes boring into her own. “What if I don’t want to stop?” he asked, voice equally as quiet. The whole scenario felt somewhat intimate. “What if I want to go farther? Reckless abandon, and all that crap.” 

She couldn’t find it within herself to answer—not yet, at least. Her mouth was dry and the room was spinning and it was hard for her to remember how they had gotten into this position in the first place.

She remembered the day they first met like it was yesterday, yet she couldn’t remember the events of a few hours ago, leading up to this moment. Maybe because it was so sudden, the way he’d pinned her to the couch.

Though, the way they’d first met was pretty sudden, too—quite literally bumping into each other at the super market. She supposed it suited their relationship well. Random, unpredictable, always running forward at a dizzying pace. 

It was never boring, she could say that much. 

Though, the days where thing were ‘boring’ between them happened to be her favorite days. Him working in the studio late at night, her crashing on the couch for no other reason than to keep him company and give her opinion on newer tracks, empty energy-drink cans and bowls of ramen scattered around haphazardly. 

Those were the best.

A day—somewhat like that scene—was the reason for the current situation.

.

.

.

Maybe it was the way that she had sounded just a little bit off in her texts, or maybe it was the lack of emotion when he called her to ask about her day, but for whatever reason, Changkyun was on his way to her flat, rain splattering furiously onto his clear umbrella. 

He had a plastic bag filled to the brim with her favorite snacks, a couple movies she’d been dying to see and a new mug to replace the one he’d broken two weeks ago.

It was the least he could do.

He folded the umbrella, leaning it against the wall next to her door. With a rhythmic rap of his knuckles, one tailor-made just for the two of them, she came to the door, not even bothering to ask who it was. 

She already knew.

She looked exhausted—bags under her eyes and clothes disheveled more than usual. She gave a small, tired smile. “Hey, Kyun,” she said. “How are you?”  

His first instinct was the drop the bag and rush to her; give her the biggest, tightest hug. But that would be weird, wouldn’t it? There were boundaries to be respected, even in a close friendship.

“Better than you, it seems,” he said with a huff, blowing his too-long bangs away from his face. He scanned her face, concern knitting his eyebrows together. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

She shrugged, still smiling. “Not really,” she said, knowing fully well that she wouldn’t be able to hide it from him. “But it’s fine,” she continued. “I’m alive, and that’s what counts.”

“Did something happen?” he asked. She stepped aside, gesturing for him to come into the medium-sized apartment. “You look like crap.” 

She snorted. “Thanks, dude,” she said. She closed the door behind them. “Nah, nothing in particular,” she answered. “Today’s just a melancholy day. It happens sometimes.” 

Changkyun nodded understandingly, dumping the contents of his plastic bag onto the couch—save for the mug, which he pulled out before hand. He didn’t need to have her nagging him about another one.

“I get it,” he said calmly. He held out the mug, shaped like a cute sloth that said ‘Soon-ish’ on it, as she was a master-procrastinator. He’d always teased her for that. Whether it be a work assignment or something for college, she always waited until the last second to get it done. “Hopefully all of this stuff’ll help.” 

Her eyes lit up a little, a familiar light glittering in them. “You got a new one!” she gasped, snatching it from his hands. “And it’s even cuter than my old one!”

He shrugged and sniffed proudly. “What can I say? I have good taste.”

She rolled her eyes. “Screw you,” she said. 

“Hey! I brought snacks and movies!” he defended himself, crossing his arms. “By the laws of friendship, you can’t say ‘screw you’ to me if I do something nice for you!”

She scoffed. “And what rule is that, your majesty?” she asked incredulously.

“The one I made up just now, stupid,” he chuckled, flicking her forehead lightly.  

She smacked his hand away, laughing a little. “Quit it!” she said. She hugged the sloth mug protectively to her chest. “You’re not breaking another one.” 

Changkyun rolled his eyes. “You know that was an accident!” he groaned. He wasn’t really irritated. In fact, he felt a warm fuzziness creeping into his chest seeing her chuckle at his saltiness. He felt that way towards her whenever he saw her in this light—the one where he was the one making her smile and laugh. 

It felt good and right. Just... 

Lovely. 

That was a word that often sprung to his mind when he thought of her. But the word that would come straight after was always ‘friend’, so that would always snap him out of his thoughts and remind him to watch himself. 

Remind himself not to lose control. 

He shook his head a little, trying to clear his thoughts. “Do you wanna watch a movie and drink hot chocolate with me, or not?” he asked. 

She tilted her head like she was taking it into serious consideration. “Did you bring—?” she started.

“Cinnamon to go on top?” Changkyun interrupted. “Yes. Yes, I did, you weirdo.” 

She stomped her foot playfully. “It’s not weird, it’s tasty!” she defended herself. “You’d understand if you bothered to try it.” 

He snatched the mug from her, taking it into the kitchen. Sure, the feeling of their fingers briefly touching made his heart jump, but he could ignore it. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said. “Just go set up the movie; I’ll make the cocoa.” 

That was how it should be. 

Because they were friends. 

.

.

.

She hoped that there wasn’t too much relief in her eyes when he showed up at her door. That’d be too obvious.

Honestly though, he was just what she needed on a sad-for-no-reason day, because he was her makes-me-happy-for-no-reason person. 

Everything from his dumb tracksuit with the bracelet on top of the sleeves, the messy hair that was flopping into his eyes and the resting bitch-face. 

Already, her heart felt a little, but she was just praying that he didn’t read into that too deeply. 

It didn’t help that he brought snacks and gifts. How dare he be this way? Knowing her so well, and whatnot. It was infuriating how easy he made it to love him. 

Her eyes kept wandering to his mess of hair, feeling the overwhelming need to run her fingers through it, but alas, she didn’t, 'cause that’d be weird.

When she greeted him with a quick hug, she couldn’t stop herself from caressing the hairs at the back of his neck, hoping that it wasn’t too noticeable. 

She barely took in everything he was saying, and she was beyond grateful when he changed the subject, making it easier for her to calm down and get sucked into the film. If she payed attention hard enough, maybe Chagkyun’s presence wouldn’t affect her so badly. 

Maybe she could feel the comfort, minus the stifling nervousness.  

.

.

.

‘Stop staring at her,’ Changkyun kept telling himself. 

They were watching a horror movie together—one she’d been begging to see since it came out—and her eyes were fixed intently on the screen. The jumps scares didn’t freak her out, she just nodded along like, “Oh, I see. So that’s how it fits into the plot”, all the while, shoveling popcorn into her mouth.

All-in-all, not the most attractive scene, but still. His heart said, ‘Well gosh, that’s endearing’, and it was kind of pissing him off.

She gasped for the first time since the movie started, but it wasn’t because she was scared. It was because an ‘illuminating’ plot-point had just been revealed that the main character’s sister was actually his wife that’d been dead for twenty years, and she’d just been turned into a vampire and aging backwards, and—...it was a really dumb movie.

But the point was, she was enjoying it on a bad day, so that was all that mattered. He’d come to terms in his mind that he probably had a crush on her, but his pride (and fear) stopped him from making a definitive move.

He remembered watching a movie some time ago, before he’d met her. One of the quotes from it was: “A man can’t be just friends with a beautiful woman”. He remembered scoffing at that line, just because he thought it was ridiculous.

At first, he wondered why it was limited to ‘a beautiful woman’, but after meeting her and gradually liking her more and more, it dawned on him. 

‘A beautiful woman’ doesn’t apply to what society thinks at all. It applies to you and your own thoughts, because the person you love automatically looks beautiful. 

He’d found that out the hard way when they’d gotten off a rollercoaster together and she looked slightly dazed, majorly blissed-out, and her hair was tousled and tangled.

He’d spent about 30 minutes finger-brushing the tangles out, and to anyone that asked, he’d tell them that it was the most irritating, meticulous thing he’s ever had to do, but what was on the inside?

That truth was a different story. 

On the inside, that was the exact pin-pointed moment that he fell for her. Most people couldn’t tell you when they fell in love, but he definitely could. At least, when he realized it. 

It was that third Sunday in June when they were standing under that tree in the amusement park to avoid the sun while he untangled her hair with his skilled fingers. Despite the effort to avoid the rays, some still managed to stream in through the leaves, and it highlighted her in the most beautiful way. 

Her eyes looked more glittery than usual, her tangled hair had a shine to it and he could individually count each of her eyelashes. 

When he realized he couldn’t breathe in that moment, he admitted to himself that he probably had a crush on her, despite how much he’d like to prove that dumb movie wrong. 

“Kyun,” he heard, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Kyun!” She smacked his shoulder. “Did you see that ending?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise. “That was such a twist! I didn’t expect it at all!” 

He chuckled and shook his head, rubbing his shoulder. She had a bit of trouble controlling the strength of her hits. “What’s with you and loving low-quality films?” he asked. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Maybe my palate isn’t refined enough, or maybe I don’t need things to be perfect to enjoy them.” She smiled. “There can be a lot of plot flaws, and the acting may not be the best, but the point is, it was made for entertainment. And it entertains me,” she finished, plopping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. 

He felt his heart pounding again, just because she was talking about something she liked. How annoying and stupid.

“Can you stop that?” he asked quietly.

She furrowed her brows. “Stop what?”

“Stop looking so kissable,” he said. 

Her eyes widened, and he could’ve sworn he saw her cheeks light up, too. “What’re you talking about?” she stuttered out. 

He moved a little closer, she moved a little farther. Finally, he grabbed her wrists, keeping her in place. “Do you like me?” he asked seriously, gathering all the courage that he was pretty sure he didn’t actually have.

He probably bluffed himself into bravery. 

She choked. “What—?”

He wasn’t quite sure how they ended up with him on top of her, pinning her down to the couch and pressing kisses to the corner of her lips while the rain pattered against the window, but he couldn’t really complain. 

If anything, the bundle of nervous energy in his stomach pushed him forward. He tried to read her expression. It looked like there were a million thought going on, running a mile a minute.

He leaned down farther, just to get a better look into her eyes.

“Stop it,” she whispered into the dimly lit room, breaking a heavy silence that had taken over the usually very comfortable space of her living room.

.

.

.

Ah. 

So, that’s how they got there.

.

.

.

“I’ll ask you again,” Changkyun said, interrupting her thoughts. His eyes looked almost desperate, in a way. Desperate for an answer, or something of the sort. “What happens if I don’t wanna stop here?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a deep breath through her nose. “Then I would say you should be more considerate,” she said firmly. “Think about how I feel in this situation.” 

“Turned on?” he offered. 

She smacked his side, making him flinch. “Don’t treat this like a joke!” she chided. “Can you be serious for one second?” 

“I am being serious!” he assured her, his grip tightening around her wrists. “Am I not sounding sincere enough for you? Do I have to be more forward—more clear? Well, guess what!” he said. He stared her dead in the eyes. “I know,” he spoke cryptically.  

She glared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know you like me like I like you,” he said simply. He wasn’t cocky about it. More matter-of-fact than anything else. 

She rolled her eyes, scoffing a little. “Don’t be an idiot—” she started. 

“Why haven’t you pulled away yet?” Changkyun cut in. She froze, no words leaving her half-open mouth. “I know better than anyone else; you hate being physically suffocated, so clearly... You don’t feel suffocated by me.” 

She swallowed thickly. “What’re you getting at?” she asked, trying to steadily meet his burning and heavy gaze. 

He tilted his head a little, almost like a shrug. “Maybe I help you breathe easier,” he said. “Maybe you trust me to be this close to you. Closer than anyone else ever has.” 

She frowned, looking off to the side. “You’re my friend,” she said. “One of my best friends—if not the best. I should hope I feel comfortable around you.” 

He huffed out a breath, the mint flavor on his tongue fanning out over her face. “Do you have something going on mentally, or do I just have to say it first for you to accept it?” he asked. 

She furrowed her brows. “What’re you talking about—?”

“I love you,” he interrupted, his eyes swimming with emotion and desperate. “I love you so much.” 

Her breath caught in her throat. Changkyun wasn’t one for cheesiness like this. In fact, he tended to avoid it at all costs. 

It felt strange. 

Different.

Not unwanted. 

“You are...” It looked like he was struggling to find the right words, which was odd for such a talented lyricist. He sighed. “My best friend, for one,” he said. With a small internal struggle, he met her eyes. “But you’re also a hell of a lot more than that. You’re one of the most unique things I’ve ever felt in my life. You’re like a goddamn emotional rollercoaster.”

He chuckled. “I don’t know when I started feeling this way for you. It was just all of a sudden,” he explained in a quiet voice. “Maybe it was ‘cause we kept touching hands on the subway—just on accident. Maybe it was ‘cause you started giving me goosebumps when you laughed because of something I said. Maybe it was ‘cause I gave you that piggyback-ride when you sprained your ankle and you whispered ‘thanks’ in my ear.”

His brows furrowed quizzically. “Or maybe it was ‘cause you’re the only person I’ve ever known that’s gotten me to fully enjoy a Disney movie. At any rate, it’s an impressive feat.” 

His grip on her wrists loosened up. “You piss me off more than anyone I know and I wanna strangle you 75% of the time, but at the same time, I know that I could never stay angry at you for too long.” Gently, he slipped a hand behind her back, pulling her up into a sitting position with him. 

It confused her how soft he was suddenly being, moving a socially acceptable distance away from her and letting her have some breathing room. He kept his hands to himself, folding them politely in his lap and sitting with his back straight. It was like he was meeting her parents, which was a strange thought in the first place.

“I feel like you can heal me when I’m the most screwed up I've ever been, and I know for a fact that you’ve got my back through thick and thin. You are my intense wave of happiness everyday, and sometimes, I’m a real jerk to you, just because you make me nervous. Despite how much I freak out ‘cause of you, you also calm me down better than anyone else,” he said with a deep breath. 

He played with his fingers before folding his hands neatly again. “I wanna be there for you, too,” he said, swallowing a visible lump in his throat. Despite how obviously wrecked he was inside, he never broke eye-contact. “But I’m really scared to do that without letting you know how I feel right now, ‘cause I feel like I’ll seriously mess up one day if I keep it to myself. Like I’ll push myself on you when you don’t want me.” 

She pulled her knees to her chest slowly, eyebrows furrowed in hesitant concentration. “And why is that?” she asked, the first words out of her mouth in quite some time. Her voice sounded almost hoarse. 

His tongue darted out to wet his chapped lips. “Because I think you’re beautiful,” he said, making her heart skip a beat or two. “And incredibly sexy,” he added with a shrug. “That’s not very... Best-friendsy, now is it?” 

She let out a small laugh, even though her head was spinning. As expected of Changkyun. Only he could make her laugh in a situation like this. 

So many thoughts ran through her mind. Half of it was wondering why he was suddenly so open and emotional, but the other half was questioning her own emotions. Her pride. 

There was a certain level of not wanting to give in—not wanting to break the promise she’d made to herself when she’d first realized her feelings for him. She had assured herself vehemently, “There are other people out there. It isn’t just Changkyun. You shouldn’t be so captured by him”. 

Yet even after all that convincing, he was still the only one she could see. 

The whole world passed her by in a fit of shifting glory every single day, but it still paled in comparison to him. In a way, the idea of getting lost without a compass to guide her was less scary than getting a step closer to him.

They say: “The higher you are, the farther you have to fall”. The feeling of knowing that Changkyun felt the same about her put her on top of the world, and isn’t that about as high as one could go?

With that thought in mind, it was terrifying to imagine, “What if it doesn’t last?” They say that about first loves—that they never last. They’re enjoyable, nerve-wrecking, a learning experience, and they teach a heart how to feel. 

Really feel, that is.

But what if one day, that feeling faded, and they were left with nothing but a wilting memory of each other? Would she be able to stand that?

She searched his eyes, raking over the dark orbs that she’d become so familiar with. She could read those eyes. She could tell when he was being sincere, and this was definitely one of those times.

So what if it hurt a little bit in the end? 

They would be each other’s hurt. Maybe she could set aside her pride for his love—for his pain. Nothing is set in stone, happiness and sadness alike.

“No, I guess it’s not,” she said, clearing her throat. “I guess we’re not best friends anymore.” 

Fear lit in his gaze, like a question of what he said wrong. 

“We’ll just have to date, then,” she said, scooting forward a little, just enough so that their knees lightly touched. “‘Cause for whatever reason, I’m not willing to let your ass out of my sight.”

.

.

.

Let us pray for non-crappiness. 🙏 

Thank you so much for requesting this, @lostmyshame​! I had an absolute blast writing it, and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. I honestly haven’t been writing very much recently, ‘cause life has been busy, so I’m trying to get back into the groove of things. I hope this wasn’t too disappointing, considering it was kind of my ‘practice round’. 

Stop by anytime—it was a pleasure having ya!