#im mr swales tbh

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

Tag yourself, Dracula (novel) characters edition:

Arthur:

Would die for his gf

Abraham Van Helsing:

PhD. Md. Esqu. Fuck. you.

Nobody is sure wtf he's talking about

Schlemiel

Let's talk about corn 🌽

Constantly spewing ominous vague shit

I'll get over it I just have to cry about it first

Will trust one (1) person with his problems and only even that if he's reached a complete breakdown

Will quote absolute bullshit at you as if it is proven fact

"Parrots can't die. I'm an expert."

Currently in a foreign country

Would commit a crime

Genre savvy

Mr Swales:

Death is inevitable 😊

Incomprehensible speech

Renfield:

Weird diet

An outlier

Clingy

Eldritch princess

Ambitious

🥺🥺🥺🥺

Should not be allowed to have a cat

Cleans by just eating the mess

Eats a lot of meat

You can control him by giving him food

Probably a sub

Mentally ill

Lucy:

Polyam

Hot Girl Summer

Voluptuous

Miiiiight have eaten somebody

Quincy Morris:

Cowboy! 🤠

Infinite Swag

Can handle the wackest situations perfectly

Hottie

Has a gun

The Wyrd Sisters:

Read (3:21 pm)

Seward:

Desperate

Owns/runs a lunatic asylum

$$$

At least he's pretty

Straight A student

Least cool guy you've ever met

Mad scientist

Podcaster

Wtf is even happening rn

Something is Very Wrong with this man

schlimazel

Desperately needs a Nap. Exhausted

Down bad for Quincy Morris

Very proud of himself for having a thought that will almost be a whole idea any day now

"there must be a reasonable explanation"

Undiagnosed mental illness

Needs his comfort items

Needs validation so bad

Ableist af

Keeps a diary

Mina:

Loves her significant other so fuckimg much

Journals

Homoerotic best-friendship times!! ❣️

Knows her partner better than anyone

My best friend is soooooo pretty and funny and cool

Goth

Protective

Repressed bisexuality

Repressed in general

Romantic ASF

Same taste as Dracula

Has read Dracula

Owner of all the Team Braincells(tm)

Says shit like "Everyone loves me" and she's right

Gets shit done

Secretary and the whole operation would probably collapse without her

Dealing with sexism

Gets left out

Feral devotion to her partner

Traumatized

Special interest in trains

Train fiend!

Girlboss

Dislikes garlic ever since the incident

Dracula:

"please assume I am normal"

Lizard fashion

"I PROMISE I'm normal"

Teaboo

Cooks for his friends

"I am so normal"

Graveful and elegant in public but as soon as you look away he has to do 19828291 things to maintain his image before anyone notices

So many red flags

Likes bearded men

Will just grab something from you and yeet it away

Fucked up little guy

Rock/Wall climbing expert

Wants to be liked so bad

Fraudster

Identity theft

Unhinged

Very effective beauty routine

Did not think this through

Cannot pace himself

Does fucked up horrendous shit just for the fuck of it/to fuck with people

Terrible/non-existent decision making skills

"Anything is free if they don't catch you stealing"

Grumpy idiot

Same taste as Mina

Hairy

Self obsessed

Will do anything for meat

Hates garlic

Edgelord

Cringefail

Gives up immediately

"If I avoid the problem long enough it will go away "

Ugly/can't make that hat work for him

$$$$

Jonathan Harker:

White boy - has spices for the first time and it affects him like drugs

Never shuts up about food

"Ridiculous but also uncomfortable"

British (derogatory)

Red flags are so sexy to him

Wife guy!!

Going through it!!

Logical

Doing his best not to get murdered but it is a Task

Everyone wants him

Racist 😕

Someone please help him

"Not again"-his response to the wildest shit you've ever seen happen

Will hit a bitch with a shovel

Badass survival horror protagonist

Loves his wife!

The Horrors are neverending

Cinnamon roll

Mentally ill but refuses to fully acknowledge it

*gets money* Bribery time!

Feral rage unlocked!!!

White hair early from stress