#im not claiming lloyd was abused.

[miso-sopas]

Hi so got any ninjago x reader recs? Ever since reading Wisps, it has affected my brain chemistry and now i crave for more ninjago x reader content but im picky when finding fics, so got any recommendations?

Hello there! I had fun sorting out my bookmarks and history so recommending fics might be a thing in the future?

Just to note, I am not sure how to really curate your taste so most of these are what I essentially enjoyed reading and been a fan of so forgive me if some (or all 😭 no hard feelings though) aren't your thing.

Let's see...

Honestly Wisps is the *best* so far in my opinion! I don't know if this is pure coincidental but I am also hunting for some ninjago fics to feel emotions again lmao! And I tried my best in remembering what I've read or interested in so hope these are all ok for you!

+ Second best in my opinion is the 'Infinity Series' by Joos according to their quotev because at ao3 it's orphaned [ao3; quotev book 1 & book 2 ]

Unfortunately, the author has stopped updating this fic but going back at it was really enjoyable like in the Wisps. The summary according to the first installment 'Infinite Serenity';

"[Name] has died and became reincarnated in a childhood TV show of hers. She is raised as the adopted daughter of Sensei Wu, training as the Master of Infinity. Once the plot of the show really gets going, a being resurfaces from her. They claim to have revived her and can help her unlock the memories from her previous life. Now, [Name] must rely on this being to help protect Ninjago, and discovers how her past connects with her present." TW: Suicide, self harm, child abuse, some gore and swearing (please pay attention to the tags)

Please please heed the trigger warning, I don't remember much from the content but I definitely recall the author tackling those tags in a respectful way. The love interests are Kai, Nya, Jay, Cole, Morro and platonic with Master Wu and her cousin Lloyd Garmadon. Again, second best recommended fic in my opinion.

+ Next one, this is not one series but user Circus4APsycho8 (they have ao3 and tumblr) in my opinion have the best x reader one-shots from the fandom! My all-time favorite work of theirs is 'Secret Someone' [Highschool AU! Lloyd Garmadon x reader]- this one is really sweet ❣️

Here's these links for their ao3 works and their tumblr ninjago masterlist. All simple yet sweet, I love their writing style.

+ The next one is purely Lloyd Garmadon x Female Reader titled 'Butterfly Effect' by samsea at ao3. I think they're still updating and I am a big fan of hero x civilian pairings and just they're cute and in love.

Summary: "If it was up to Y/n L/n, she would read the summer away, lost in history books and adventure novels, finding excitement in their written words. Meeting Lloyd Garmadon changed her plans. Suddenly, Y/n is living a life she'd only read about; summer romances and cotton candy dates. Perhaps this was a new normal she could get used to. But she's been fated - prophesied - to be with the Green Ninja. And where there's a green ninja, trouble usually follows." Warnings: "The butterfly effect has mature themes such as gore, violence, toxic friendships, sexual themes (no smut) and cussing. the butterfly effect is not intended for younger viewers. Trigger warnings will be placed on chapters as they are needed. if you have any questions or issues please contact me."

Again, heed the warnings but the writing and atmosphere overall is really sweet and for some reason all cuddly and sunny. IDK but maybe I am always soft for Lloyd lmao.

+ If you're up to reading only x reader head cannons then I recommend user mouschiwrites here in tumblr. Their requests are closed now but the head cannons they made are cute and entertaining, like I can definitely see this character doing that y'know. Here's their ninjago masterlist

+ Here's some honorable mentions, I believe they deserve some love too!

In the Shadow (Various love interests) by RoseRain at Quotev

Legend of the Lightspirit (Various love interests) by softie at Quotev

Actually, while finishing my school projects I'm also checking out from another user snazzilystoopid's ninjago recommendation. So far, I am enjoying their second recommended which is 'Element of Wishes' by yourfavoritecloud at quotev BUT this one is an Character x OC one so if it's not up to your alley they have few recommendations. Honestly, I am up to anything as long as it entertained my monkey brain.

Sorry for the long post! Hope these works are okay for your taste but the closest fic that gives off the same vibes as Wisps is the Infinite series. And these are all by my own opinions and the fics I remembered catching my eye. I am very much open to other recommendations or shout-outs.

Side note, there's not much Ninjago fics out there that I might let my monkey brain loose and create one myself LOOOL.

Again, thank you for asking ( I feel honored for being asked by this, I'm a fanfic nerd 🤓)

[arolegos]

who are your top ten favorite black clover characters and ships (romantic, platonic) talk about them?

ooh THATS FUNNN

i think it's honestly pretty obvious, but:

1. Luck :3

(cw for child abuse here)

ARGGHH theres just something about him i relate to and idk if its the autism or if its bc Im Not right in the Head !!!!!! HES SO AWESOME AND SILLY AND I LOVE INSANE CHARACTERS SECOND TO THE PATHETIC ONES . the way hes written is literally so Real . that fear of feeling so out of place that youre afraid of losing your friends for the smallest things IS SO REAL AHH how could i NOT like him .AND IDKKK he doesnt exactly fit my criteria of who usually ends up being my fav character in a show/movie/game (i.e. pathetic wet cat traumaful geezer (lloyd, hunter, keith) or jokester loser boy (leo, sonic)) BUT. I LIKE INSANE CHARACTERS TOO . i LIKE that hes a battlefreak . I LIKE that hes a maniac. I LIKE THAG HES A WEIRDO!!!! his love language is literally physical attack . he is So Me. i also Cannot stop myself from punching my friends constantly and Annoying them with pokes and stuff likr that .AND ILL ALWAYS APPRECIATE IT WHEN THEY PUNCH BACK OR SOMETJING LIKE THAG IT JUST MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME . I GET IT I LOVE BANTER TOO

man i just cant get over how well they did with luck his whole personal dilema with his mom and eventually coming around to realise he had /other/ people he could fight for is just so sweet

its just ??? everything about that guy? its so fucking nice. its the way theyre able to implement the effects of a traumatising upbringing in a realistic way while acknowledging that it takes time to properly recover and the fact that they show that abuse really does have lasting effects because, despite being treated that way, he still idolised his mother bc what other choice did he have? she was the only one who cared about him in /some/ way even if she was abusive. the other kids in his school were mean as hell for no reason and so he turned to his only source of comfort who only saw him for his powers that proved his strength. and the only praise he got from her was how strong he was, and how he needed to win all his fights, so when she dies, he does everything he can to achieve that goal like a promise that he just cant break bc. again, what other choice does he have? in his head, his mother is all he ever had, even if she wasnt really there for him. but he continues fighting even though he acknowledges all that his mother did to him and its just so. so aughghgh. and he fights and fights and fights and at first its only for his mother, but then he starts looking around him and gets hit by the realisation that things have passed. his mom isn't there anymore, and he had people who genuinely cared about him. he had magna, vanessa, the black bulls, everyone and its just so?? its so important to me u dont understand. he tries to run to her when the choice arises but who does he ultimately go to? his friends, his family bc he had other people to fight for now. it's no longer 'fighting for my mom', now it's just 'fighting for my friends', and MOST IMPORTANTLY 'FIGHTING FOR ME' ahhsuhafhhff its just so fucking important to me his recovery is kept so close to my heart no body gets it holy hel . and he still fights and i LOVE thta about him so fucking much. instead of dropping everythin he had, he claimed it all for himself. instead of pointihg a finger at his mom, he establishes it as his own. and its just so

.maybe im reading too much into it. I'm just silly :P

2. Vanessa

re: mother issues . she is Also so me . IDK I LOVE HER CHARACTER A LOTTTTTT . the way shes written and developed is INSANEEEEEEE AND I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS SHE COULD STRANGLE ME WITH HER THREADS AND ID SUPPORT HER.!!!! she is the coolest and realest character in all of black clover . she cares SO MUCH for the team even if thats not obvious on first glance but she would literally DIE for them (as opposed to luck's "would kill for them (or for no reason at all)" which btw makes them bounce off eachother so well) . also her powers are cool as fuck . Ive always liked the whole concept of threads of fate (greek mythology Your time is numbered) SO OFCC I WENT BALLISTIC WHEN I SAW HER . i was jumping up and down like a FREAK . her design is so cunty too.... who is she serving this much for...

3. Magna

yes theyre my fav trio. i Hope that is obvious. HES SO SILLY AND REAL . I LOVE HIS CHARACTER I LOVE HIS DESIGB AND I LOVE HOW. HOW REAL HE IS . his fear of falling behind is REAL AS FUCKKK. his fear of not being strong enough for his friends is SO ACTUALLY REAL . i love his envy and i love his humanity and i love how that makes him a better character bc he'll always Be the Better version of himself and its never for the wrong reasons . hes literally who i imagine most of us would feel like in the black clover universe dawg .

4. Dorothy

no reason for this tbh i just like her design and personality and powers . She is so sill y.

5. Leopold!!!!

AHHH HES SO SILLY WHAT THE FREAKKKK . hes so FUNNN . i love whenever hes on the screen and i love to imagine how he is with his siblings. hes such a cutie pie!!! I LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE HIM A QHOLE BUNCH . he js my Son

6. Mereleona :3

Design. CHARACTER. WOMAN . GODDD DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! girl i would KILL MYSELF in front of your worst enemy if that mf looked at you wrong . In fact.i would Kill them myself I think .Bc ur so gorgeous and amazing.and bc I LOVE YOU. dawggg shes so awesome and cool and meowmeow and I want her so bad ohmygod whosaid that?!??!

nah though im being fr i love her character sm. i love her independence. i love her loud and brash personality. i love her interactions with other characters. i love her attitude and would love for her to hit me with those arms

7. Noelle

i love her chafacter so insanely i cant even lie to u she might be one of the best written chars in black clover of all time . HER PERSONALITYS SO SILLY TOO AND I LOVE HER DESIGN plus water powers r FIRE

8. Rill

real (Haha) . So solly....how can i not love him...... I'm being fr though he's like ink sans if he slayed better

9. Finral

girlloser i hope he gets set on fire /pos

transfem allegory

10. Fana/Nero

i CANNOT choose. DOnt make me choose pleasr . TEHYRE BOTH SO CUTE AND SILLY AND I LOVE THEIR DESIGNS AND BACKSTORIES AND !!!!!!!!!! they make me go Insne

as for ships and dynamics errrm

1. whatever the fuck this trio is called

im naming them loser3 Til i find ojt their actual trio name . BUT I LOVE THEM OFC I DO THEYRE MY TOP 3 AND I LKVE HOW THEIR PERSONALITIES BOUNCE OFF EACHOTHER . their banter is literally how i talk with my friends . vanessa is the realest older sister and rhe way she teases them (Magna especially) is so so real shes so me . theyre so silly to me..... im so sad they dont have more tgt in canon ....

2. magluck...

ugh i hate Them.ihope they get hit with the doomed Yaoi ray . KIDIDNH . THEYRE SILLY. idc if u see them as friends or as lovers, it doesnt rly matter to me bc theyre literallg perfect pairs regardless of if u see them as platonic or romantic . they HELP EACGOTHER IMPROVE. luck just never giving up on magna even though he feels like he'll never catch up and then magna never letting up on luck bc he knows that fighting is his means of love and how he'll always be his friend even if he can be a jerk and veen though he was possesed by an elf its just so !!!!AND THE SPADE ARC? LUCK SENSING HIS MANA? AND THEN BEING SO EXCITED TO FINALLY SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER MONTHS APART??? AND HIS FIRST THOUGHT ISNT "hes probably weaker than me now" NO ITS "i cant wait to fight him again" GAWDDDDD

they cannot exist without each other but they excel the best when theyre far apart .BUT THE ONLY REASON THAT LATTER PART HAPPENS is bc they WANT to be stronger FOR the other .they dont fight for nothing . i am So Normal about them

3. idk if this counts but the black bulls

i mean no shit i like them . i Like ninjago .

i love it when a group of misfits band together into a found family that nobody was particularly aware they were joining . that is so Real . You have No Choice but to be a part of this family Yami built (not on purpose).If you try to escape, no You wont.You will come back. Thatis a promise and a Threat (looking at zora and nacht).

neurodivergence spectrum looking ass team

4. finral & vanessa :3

do they have a name too . idk. but they're so t4t lesbian. oh my god . love them they're so silly I love cunty girlfailures they're one of my most favourite genders ever fr....

and also THEYRE SO CUTEEE I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP !!!!! their personalities bounce off each other so well and so easily . you could tell me tabata-sensei wrote them as a package deal and Id believe it

5. astelle (i think its what theyreCalled)

used to not be the biggest fan of this ship. until I Saw the Vision. and I waslike Huh.theyre so silly together.

theyre a lot similar to magluck in the way they both seem to help each other improve! and I love their dynamic. i love their personalities. they're meant to be and I fr don't think anyone can convince me otherwise. platonic or romantic, I still believe they're soulmates . they care for each other so much it makes me want to claw my hair out

6. asta n yuno!! :)

the fuck you brothers

theyre the main duo how could they not be well written. their personalities are so GREAT together. their juxtaposition of literally every part of their lives is INSANITY. asta was born with no magic; yuno was born with too much for a peasant. asta was accepted into the 'worst' squad; yuno had joined the best. asta is shouldered by a demon; yuno is aided by a spirit. they are polar opposites, yet they are the same. they are nothing alike but they are brothers.!!!! they mean the world to me and idk how to properly word my thoughts on them

YES YES im a sucker for relationships where the chars support each other so much that they help them improve both indirectly and directly. its cute. its meaningful. i hope my friends feel this way about our friendships.

7. vanessa and luck :3

mother issues core . i love them and I hope they DIE in canon ./pos

theyre so siblings bye. AND I LOVE HOW CHEEKY THEY ARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. UGH. SHUT UP. ILL BEAT YOUR ASS. i LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

8. zora and magna !!!!

dont ever leave them in a room together or trust you'll have to walk on the walls to get across .Magna really is the little brother zora never asked for 💝

9. asta and klaus

you HAVE to see my vision. do you UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY IT IS that klaus had beef with this shrimp half his size. AND THEN HE ENDS UP RESPECTING HIMLIKE GUYS . THEYRE SO FUNNY .THEYRE SO GOOFY. i love their dynamic sm. they're so goddamn silly. I'm going to throw them into a blender.

10. secre/nero and asta :p

hes the little brother that she secretly wished for for her 10th Christmas as a child and here he is 500 years later!!!

IM NOT SURE WHAT IT IS. THEYRE JUST REALLY FUNNY OTGETHER. their personalities are so contrasting its insane how well they get along.

[unpleasant-aroma]

Like Father, Like Daughter...

Summary: Moria feels hate for someone she once considered her first love. Oscar is attempting to mourn. Moria takes out her anger in a less than Christian way

(warning: abuse mention, suicide mention, homophobia mention, and a sorta in-depth description of someone getting beaten up)

(( @birdhouse-in-thesoul & @a-smile-dat-spreads-like-buttah . Y’all are getting tagged for two different reasons, but y’all are not. Getting tagged ))

[[MORE]]

It rained the day Jason was buried. That was fitting enough, when the deceased’s lover, his sister, nor one of his good friends cried. Nadia and Oscar were both attempting to hold in tears, but for different reasons, but Moria couldn’t find it in her to cry. Her sadness was mixed with anger, leaving her sorrow as dry and scorching as the desert. She scared herself like this... but upon losing someone who she looked at like a second brother, could she really be blamed? Could she be blamed from the anger she held in her heart for the one who caused the chain of events that lead to this death.

And not even a month ago, she peeked around corners to see him and blushed whenever he spoke to her. A school girl in love.

As soon as the graveside service had ended, Moria excused herself, needing to catch her breath. She went beyond the cemetery, beyond the church, to the school. Most would think she was going back to her dorm to get something or change or freshen up... but no. She went to the room her brother and Jason had shared, opening the door with the key she’d been given what felt like so so long ago... maybe it was rude to rifle through her late never-will-be her brother-in-law’s things... but she needed to think of him... she needed to think of the good to distract herself from the hate in her heart.

How horribly selfish... a boy was dead and she was thinking of the one who killed him.

“What are you doing in here?” A familiar voice asked, and the flames of hate were stoked again. Her black skirt whipped around her legs as she turned around to face Matt Lloyd.

“I have a key. You’re trespassin’,” she growled, stepping closer to him, squaring up to him. “Matt, if ya care a shred ‘bout self preservation, ya gonna get outta here.”

“Moria, I’m sorry. I wish that—.”

“Wishes ain’t gonna bring ‘im back! Wishes don’ change tha fact that he killed his’self ‘cause’a you an’ ya damn pride!” She cut him off, shouting at him. “Ya know who ya remind me of? My fathah. Selfish. So fuckin’ selfish. Ya only care ‘bout yaself!”

“Moria, calm down! Yelling at me isn’t going to bring him back either!” He said defensively, raising his hands, palms facing her. “I know I hurt Nadia. I know I hurt you and your brother. And I feel—.”

Once again she cut him off, but this time by smacking him hard across the face.

“Shut up, ya fuckin’ Bible beatah! Call my bruddah an’ his boyfriend such horrible things, an’ out them ta tha whole school an’ now ya sorry?! Ya don’ even know than meanin’ of tha word!” She snapped, taking another step towards him as he backed away. “I’ll make ya fuckin’ sorry...”

Her fist made impact with his jaw seconds later. And then again after than. His nose. His cheek. An uppercut. A punch to the gut. A punch to the diaphragm to wind him. Over and over her hits landed on her confused and defenseless target. She was yelling in Gaelic all the while, her comments derogatory and cruel. Whenever someone hurt her, Oscar came running and made them pay. Oscar nearly followed in Jason’s footsteps... he was hurting like crazy. So, it was Moria’s turn.

“I loved you! Ya hear me?! I loved you! And I still fuckin’ do. I love ya despite those fucked up things ya did, somehow. I love ya!”

Matt was trying to talk sense into her, bargaining with her to stop, but she could hardly hear him. She once envied Ivy for having him when she wanted him. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him... and she still felt that. And that’s what hurt. She didn’t stop. Not when there was blood on his face and on her knuckles... only once he hit his head against the wall from a particularly hard punch, slumping against the ground, certainly alive but knocked out pretty good.

Coming to her senses, she fled the room, leaving Matt’s crumpled form to be found by someone else eventually. She ran to the nearest restroom to was the blood of her hands. She told him she loved him while trying to bust open his skull... how fucking horrible was that? It sounded like her father... that thought made her stomach churn. But she always knew she had her father’s temper...

He bragged about it while drunk. His Irish wife had died, and not all that long after, Thomas went out and killed an Irishman. Caught in grief and anger, he turned it on someone fairly innocent in the long run. Someone who didn’t deserve that pain he put them through. But he just kept going and going... until there was nothing more than a battered empty shell. It hadn’t been anything he planned, but “good riddance”, he always said.

In grief, she beat a boy. Someone she once considered a friend, an almost-lover. Hell, if Oscar had died the night of the play, Moria may have finished the job and put Matt in his grave too. History was repeating itself. Her father had always said that she and Oscar were like him, even if they didn’t want to admit it; they’d supposedly find out one day... and today, Moria found out. She was her father’s daughter, despite all her best intentions to remain kind unless provoked. She was violent and cruel... beating someone she claimed to love. She was as much a monster as he. And she had been disgusted with Matt’s behavior...

The water had been on, but Moria hadn’t put her bloodied hands under it. And now, there was more important issues. She ran into one of the stalls, collapsing in tears once she got there. She was, quite literally, sick from what she had done

[icvc-nevada-blog]

Ms. Bartollilo, I came by your school very excited about the prospect of working with disabled children, but it is unlikely to happen now, as I will have committed suicide before then. I was set up first by Brian the Librarian at the Brooklyn Public Library, who I had met and partied with before, who set me up when he invited me to his apartment again, where there were several people there (in full view of the "ceiling cam" system), who he claimed had been having sex for hours. Apparently, one of them was underage (his first question to me: oh, you two know each other?). but who later claimed, in a separate setting, that he was neither a thief or liar, after stealing $400 in cash from my pocket, returning only $20 of it to me, after a group of six other kids (who had been paid to sit in the other room, then sequentially come open the door to witness what was going on), came and left. The "host", who explained he had been "paid alot of money for this", and KEITH (probably NOT McCollough from the forged Lloyds of London Bond, by Franklin Palm and Todd Smith of IEG: International Entertainment Group, told me that I "asked too many questions" as I walked out the door. I have done nothing but be tge victim of repeated abuse and human rights violations, when all of my intentions were no different than anyone other person in this country. When ordered to go to The Realization Center for treatment, Marjorie White, colluding with undercover policemen, told me "we do not want you here" and I was not welcome, because despite having given her Medicare and Medicaid information, despite having spent over a year there in the past having "attended groups", I was neing asked for rediculous "co-pays" and other expenses (more cash or income than I had), and was told never to come back. I long ago stopped caring about anything, least of all money, and I am sure everyone will be happy to see me in prison, where it has already been published places the greulish way in which I will be (again), brutally drugged, #Bareback6_ForcedHammeredAndUsed and then finally killed in prison. Im not even sure what we're waiting for. I lost the will to live long before any of this happened anyway: MadMoney@MySpace.com. Jim Cramer: MadMoney My question to your show had been: What is the January Effect? Before responding to your Dear CNBC101 Segment, asking for "commemtary" on the structure of the JP Morgan Funds portfolio. Not only did you never air my question, though your program obliquely touched upon it, you are a complete and utter fraud, down to "managing a portfolio" of stocks you are recommding, that you later pretend is a Charitable Trust. I suppose thats where working at Goldman Sachs: fool.com leads you, Larry Kudlow disappears for a week in a drug binge, leaves Bear Stearns as Chief Economist, but lands on his feet at CNBC with a job. I end up in a lawsuit, and have yet to find any inkling of a "drug addiction" having affected my PERFORMANCE (objectively), but my SSD claim for severe depression is real. Contracts Calimari & Perillo 6th Edition Re: Contracts With The Mentally Infirm (look that up for yourself) I hope all the rest of you are happy, because you cannot stop me from taking my own life. Go FUCK YOURSELVES. I apologize, and wish thus coukd have turned out differently. https://vimeo.com/162464839 _AZ_Subtitles=' https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/christinaaguilera/aintnootherman.html ' #Cyberaction #KBMotorsports_Playboy https://www.technologyreview.com/s/400236/trade-you-online-a-mantle-for-a-clemens/ #DarkAlley_TV #SkodaFavorit_Motorsports #Fantanas #JimiStik (* James McDermott | ning.com | #ForcedEntry_John *) Porsche_999FantaStik.jpg http://abcnews.go.com/amp/Sports/wireStory/world-cup-failure-prompts-calls-us-soccer-revolution-50427281 https://blogs.wsj.com/numbers/is-david-beckhams-deal-really-worth-250-million-323/ https://m.origins.com/product/15346/10736/skincare/treat/face-masks/out-of-trouble/10-minute-mask-to-rescue-problem-skin Testimonial: you ever have one of those 3 day parTy weekends, and then you look at the clock, and its 5:54 Tuesday morning, and you've got to be in class at school by 8:00? you rush to the bathroom and look at your face in the mirror: whaddya see? Say it isn't SO! (no, not another prequel(tm), not thus time: A #T_Zone: your forehead and nose are so greasy, you can almost see an ingrown hair turning into a zit. Then you remember you've got ORIGINS: Out of Trouble Mask 15 minutes later, you know you can walk down the halls and not hang your head in shame! No one will be the wiser.

[trendingnewsb]

Glenn Close: You lose power if you get angry

From vengeful mistress to Agatha Christie matriarch: the actor talks about Harvey Weinstein, mental illness and growing up in a cult

Glenn Close and I sit at the corner of a large boardroom table in an intimidatingly minimalist office on the 14th floor of a Los Angeles talent agency. Its the kind of environment in which Patty Hewes, the ruthless lawyer Close played in Damages for five seasons, would feel at home and Im almost waiting for her to stand up, slam both hands on the table and shout, Ill rip your face off or any of the other terrifying put-downs that defined her double Emmy award-winning performance.

But Close is in high spirits and radiates such warmth I barely notice the chill from the tower blocks air-con. After we fiddle with the settings on our swivel chairs, which are so high they make anyone under six foot kick their legs like a child on a swing, the 70-year-old, six-time Oscar nominee and star of stage, television and film starts telling me about her dreams. I have had a lot recently, full of this wonderful love for a younger man. The dreams just keep coming and I wake up thinking, that was wonderful! It wasnt necessarily us doing the sexual act, just the feeling of love.

With her white hair cut to a sharp crop, and wearing a relaxed navy blazer, chinos and black scarf on account of the arctic corporate temperature, she looks stylish and fit. I have never felt better in my life, and I am, like, 70, she says. Im really a late bloomer.

She says she feels a disconnect between how she sees herself and how people may view me when I walk down the street, like: Theres an old lady. You know, there is now this cult of the model. Everyone on the red carpet is made into a model. That is very hard to not play into I have a bit of podge I am trying to get rid of, but its hard. I just think, Oh fuck, Ive been doing this my whole life! But the irony is, you just get better and better with age. You dont feel less alive or less sexy.

In Agatha Christies Crooked House. Photograph: Nick Wall

We are here to talk about Crooked House, the Agatha Christie adaptation debuting on Channel 5, before its theatrical release, in which Close plays Lady Edith, a matriarch of a very dysfunctional family. Close says, Christies grandson came to the set and he validated the fact that it was her favourite book, and the one that had never been adapted. He said when she handed it to the publisher, she was told she had to change the ending, because it was too upsetting and controversial. She refused. Its still pretty controversial.

This production, co-written by Julian Fellowes, might not be as spendy as Kenneth Branaghs $55m Murder On The Orient Express, but the ensemble cast is equally starry: joining Close are Gillian Anderson, Max Irons, Terence Stamp and Christina Hendricks. Close presides over her co-stars with gravitas and grace, in an understated performance that finds the humour in an otherwise bleak setup. But youd expect nothing less from the actor whose 40 years in the business started with star turns in Broadway productions (she won a Best Actress Tony in 1983 for Tom Stoppards The Real Thing). Her first film role, at the age of 35, was with Robin Williams in The World According To Garp, for which she received an Oscar nomination as she did for her supporting roles in The Big Chill and The Natural. Her performances in Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons and Albert Nobbs, about the life of a transgender butler in late 19th century Ireland, which she also co-wrote, racked up further Oscar nominations but still no win. This is seen by many as a travesty: Close brings a precision to her film work, honed through her years on stage. She has that rare taut quality Jack Nicholson also has it where you believe that beneath the steely control she is capable of snapping at any moment.

It was this that led Andrew Lloyd Webber to cast her in 1993 as the tragic silent movie star Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway. Close reprised the role 23 years later, getting her old costumes out of storage (she has kept all her costumes and recently donated the collection to a university in Indiana) for its revival in Londons West End.

As Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction: Clearly she had mental health issues. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

But it was her Oscar-nominated turn as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction in 1987 that proved career-defining. Thirty years on, Close still counts Forrest as the character of whom she feels most fond; she has admitted to fighting tooth and nail against the films eventual denouement, which turned the character into a bunny-boiling psychopath and Close into the casting directors go-to woman on the verge for years afterwards. Now we have the vocabulary to talk about these things, clearly she had mental health issues, she says.

Close sits regally still as she speaks, emphasising her points by leaning forward and locking eyes. Shes comfortable with silences and often takes a theatrical beat or two before answering questions. Shes all poise and control, but does she ever lose her temper?

I express my feelings quietly. I am not afraid of confrontation, but I am not particularly good at it. If I get attacked, I am not good at attacking back. There is fight, flight and freeze and I tend to freeze. That is not a strength of mine. I love the fact that my daughter Annie [Starke, an actor] is more of a fighter than I am. She doesnt let people get away with shit. While she agrees that women have a harder time being angry, publicly, than men, she says, I have played a lot of characters, and actually anger makes you lose power. Patty Hewes [in Damages] she hardly ever lost her temper, but when she did, it was very specific. I have always felt you lose power if you get that angry.

The collective outpouring of anger among women in Hollywood right now is something of which Close is acutely aware. She says that sexism in the industry has shifted more slowly than it should have done throughout her career: It took Harvey Weinstein and someone calling him out [for real change to happen]. I know Harvey, and he has never done that to me, but people would say he was a pig. I never knew that it was that bad and I dont personally know anybody who has endured that. I would like to think that I would have done something about it.

We discuss whether its possible to separate the work from the personalities involved in it. News has just broken that House Of Cards will be back for another series without Kevin Spacey, after it was originally canned because of harassment claims brought against its leading man. Close wraps her scarf around her chest and fixes me with her electric eyes. Artists, to make a huge generality, walk on a very thin line. Sometimes, like my beloved friend Robin Williams, who was one step away from madness, whatever makes them a great artist also makes them very complicated human beings. Again, that doesnt mean they can prey on and abuse people.

With Harvey Weinstein in 2013. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

At the root of the problem of sexism in Hollywood right now is, Close says, biology. I think the way men have treated women, from the beginning of time, is because they have different brains to women. So I am not surprised by it at all. I say to a guy, Tell me the truth, if you see a woman walk into a room, what is the first thought that goes through your head? His answer, always, is, Would I fuck her? It doesnt mean they act on it. If you can evolve into a society where men know that they should not always act on it then there has been a positive revolution. But you cant just say that theyre not going to have the thought that is ridiculous. It also has to be the women, who are not powerful, to be OK to say no and leave the room. I think its unrealistic to say were going to change but we have to evolve.

I ask Close who she thinks is a great man today. She is silent, thinking, for what feels like a full 60 seconds in which I am so tempted to throw out some options: Barack Obama, the Pope, the friendly security guard on reception who let us in

Nelson Mandela, is her final answer, but Im not sure shes convinced. I guess for me, she says, greatness is taking your humanity and still doing the good thing. Its sad to say that there are very few men, who are leaders, who have some sort of moral code that they dont deviate from because of popular opinion.

She thinks we are undergoing a crisis of masculinity: In the public mind, yes. I was outraged when I heard that there was a war against men I was like, are you joking? What do you think has been happening against women for centuries?

Close knows all too well about the misuse of power, because her own upbringing was, as she puts it, complicated. When she was seven, her parents joined a cult. Moral Re-Armament or MRA was a modern, nondenominational movement founded by an American evangelical fundamentalist which extolled the four absolutes: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. Her father, a physician working in the Congo, sent Close with her brother and two sisters from the family home in Greenwich, Connecticut, to live at the MRA HQ in Caux, Switzerland (Closes mother, Bettine, was a socialite).

She is vague on the details but clear on the impact this experience had on her as a teenager: I was repressed, clueless and guilt-ridden. The timeline is patchy, but Close travelled with MRA in the 60s as a member of their musical groups, and spent time back in Connecticut at an elite boarding school. I had a wonderful time at Rosemary Hall, a girls school, she says. I was in a renegade singing group called the Fingernails: A Group With Polish. But she remained, as she calls it clueless. A lot of my friends knew boys youd have these horrendous dances with boys schools and they would get the guys they wanted and I would just stay with the person I was with.

As Patty Hewes in Damages. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She was briefly married before going to university. It is a complicated story for me. I was married before college, and kind of in an arranged marriage when you look back on it, and my marriage broke up when I went to college, as it should have. I was 22. But my liberal arts school had a wonderful theatre that was my training, my acting school.

Was that where she finally learned about sex, popular culture, the ways of the world? Not really, she says. I still am learning.

Close has two sisters, Tina the eldest, and Jessie her younger sister; and two brothers, Alexander, and Tambu Misoki, who was adopted by Closes parents while living in Africa. At the age of 50, Jessie spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a weight that had been hanging over the family, undiscussed, for years. Talking about mental illness just wasnt done, Close says. You dont have a vocabulary for it and youre also very aware of appearances. You dont want to appear a crazy family.

In 2010 Close founded Bring Change to Mind, a charity that aims to end the stigma around mental illness by talking openly about it and its effect on families. It was my nephew who was first diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This is basically schizophrenia with an ingredient of bipolar. And when that happened, it was like, What? My sister Jessie, his mother, didnt know what was wrong. He went to the hospital for two years and that saved his life. Then Jessie was, finally, correctly diagnosed herself.

With sister Jessie in 2009. Photograph: Getty Images

Close felt a duty to her family to give them a high-profile person who is not afraid to talk about it publicly. It affects the whole family. We always knew my grandmother and mother had depression my sister does, I do to a certain extent. But I didnt know my great-uncle had schizophrenia. I knew my half-uncle died by suicide. There was a lot of alcoholism addiction, self-medication. Nobody ever talked about it. I knew my grandmother was depressed, but at first I thought she lived in a hotel, not a hospital, because she always said how good the food was.

Close says she and her siblings are of one mind politically, but admits she does have members of her family who voted for Trump. I tried to understand that. Theyre not crazy people who have been brainwashed by Fox News, but I try to understand the anger, because I think that has been building up ever since Watergate. It was watching that scandal unfold that made her realise Americans have always been naive, we just take for granted what we have, and we always thought of our leaders as good people. With Watergate, people became cynical about government.

Today, she says, Washington is a bunch of self-serving She searches for an expletive and after a second settles on men. She says, Its hard to believe that people are so out for themselves. It goes against what you would like to believe about your country. I feel eloquence is incredibly important for a leader, and we had that with Barack Obama, who made his initial impact because he gave that incredibly eloquent speech, but he lost his eloquence in his presidency. We always need someone to say, I hear you, someone who can put their words into unity and hope and we dont have that. I think the last person may have been Robert Kennedy.

And now you have Trump tweeting nonsense.

Its devastating. Social networks are now like our nervous system, and if you keep pumping that kind of crap into the nervous system, it is going to have an effect on a population.

With Kevin Kline in The Big Chill. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Close doesnt talk politics with her friends because she doesnt really have many friends. I have always forced myself into situations I am not comfortable in. I am an introvert, and I was painfully shy as a child. I think I still have a big dollop of that in my persona. I read a book called Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking and it was a real comfort to me I realised I was that person I had always been. And it was at that point I told myself to stop pushing myself into situations that I dont enjoy. I dread cocktail parties.

She tells me shes pretty reclusive and can count her closest friends on two fingers. I ask if shes still good friends with Meryl Streep.

I have never been close friends with Meryl. We have huge respect for each other, but I have only done one thing with her, The House Of The Spirits.

I apologise for assuming they were pals, being of a similar age and stature in Hollywood, and admit this negates my next question: Who would win in an arm wrestle, you or Meryl?

Close laughs. Oh, I would, because I am very strong.

***

The tightest bond Close has is with her only daughter Annie, 29. Annies father is the film producer John Starke whom Close dated for four years from 1987, but never married. Annie was never a door-slamming, difficult teenager. Close tells me: When my Annie was three, she looked at me, and said, I want you. I knew what she meant. I, at the time, was a single working parent, sometimes even when I was home, working or producing something, I was there and not there.

With daughter Annie Starke in 2010. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She doesnt think its any easier for working mothers today and acknowledges, I had it easy because I could afford to have help think of the women who cant afford it and have to put their child in some shaky childcare centre. No, I think it is incredibly hard for women. Any person, in any profession, feels that tug [of guilt]. We discuss the intimacy of the single-parent, only-child bond. Once, I went to vacuum Annies car seat as we were moving house, and a lot of life had happened there, so I was crying. She said, Mummy, are you OK? I said, Yeah, Im OK. And she said, Here I am.

She was married to businessman James Marlas from 1984 to 1987 and then, following other relationships, including that with Starke, she married again, in 2006, to venture capitalist David Evans Shaw, divorcing him nine years later.

Would she marry again?

I dont know.

Does she think marriage is important?

I think it is a positive evolutionary component that we are better with a partner. I think to have a partner that you can go through life with, creating a history with, that you can find a comfort with, have children with there is nothing better. This is an opinion I have come to very late in life, at an ironic moment, where I dont have any of that. I dont know if I will again. But I do think its a basic human need to be connected.

Despite this, shes happy on her own right now. This is a good time in life. I do think, what would it be like to have a partner again? But it would have to be very different from what I had before. Then I have that great dream and wake up happy.

Crooked House is on Channel 5 at 9pm on 17 December.

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