#im not tagging this as anything anybody will ever search bc i hope nobody even finds this lmao

[vampirevodka-blog]

                 It’s not fair for me to feel like this, is it?

Like I push everyone away knowingly and then am surprised when they leave. When they stop caring.

It’s better like this though, is it not? At least this way I get the satisfaction of knowing that I was right all along.

But to feel like such a fool…for someone else to tell me how short you’re being with me over text..going through our entire conversation and surprised I still talk to you, as if I’m an idiot who cant take a hint…

Fuck.

Do you use me just like you do everyone else around you, for entertainment? Is that what this all is?

Did you take my heart with you when you left, and did I continue to send you shipments of it through tear-blurred video conversations?

Because I fucking did. You know me better than anyone. I’ve opened up to you about shit that I could never do with anyone else. And to feel like…like such a fucking fool…

I should have known better.

My insides are decaying and my heart is heavy and you’re so far away from me I can’t tell where we stand

Together or a million miles apart.