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[luvtiqsm]

ʚɞ ; Birthdays

Birthdays used to be one of the few best things that happened to me once, until I grew up and realized that a birthday doesn’t always have to be a party. It’s the words that matter sometimes, or the small thoughtful gifts you’d get from those whom you cherish, perhaps it’s also the fact that people would actually bother to remember your birthday. Who knows? Anything is enough to suffice, as long as there are genuine thoughts put into it. Sounds confusing, doesn’t it? I’m trying to say that a birthday isn’t necessarily a happy day specifically, it can be depressing too.

Who cares if you celebrate your birthday later than the actual date? It’s never too late to have another party for you and your friends, one where you can happily commemorate the day of your birth. It’s all about the memories, honestly. It’s no fun when you have to force yourself to enjoy a big party dedicated to you, after all, unless all the guests are your friends, of course. I despise those birthdays where I have to simply listen to others sing me a happy birthday song, wait for me to blow the candles, and then cut the cake. After all that? They go back to talking with the ones they’re familiar with while I remain sitting on a chair, eating a depressing slice of birthday cake.

Besides, you can always take yourself out for a treat too, y’know? Just you and yourself in the mall, spending all that money on yourself as a little gift to yourself. There’s no need to force yourself to organize a big party where not even you will enjoy it, just take some time for yourself, alright? It’s somewhat therapeutic too, if you ask me. Just walking around and enjoying yourself. You could buy yourself that shirt you really wanted, or that book you have on your wishlist, or even treat yourself to some good food! There’s a variety to what you can do too, so… that’s a pro to me! 

In the end, this is why I came to realize that not every birthday won’t be as joyful as I expected it to be. It can be mundane, but it’s those who surround you that really make it seem less mundane. I appreciate the greetings, the small gifts I’d get, the fact that there truly are people who remember my birthday. So that’s why I’m thankful for those friends of mine, online or not, they’re still my friends, no? 

In relation to my previous tellings, I’d like to have an  honorable mention of my friends that helped me push through, even when I felt as if I was drowning. Who are they, you may ask? Well, there’s Vea, who has the juiciest gossip ever, but definitely has a way to make my day a bit better, even if it’s during our late night calls. Of course, there’s Eve too, the one who supported me and my delusions (back when I liked “her”, but we don’t talk about it uh), and also one of the few that brightened up my day. Of course, there’s my real-life friends too, who helped me throughout my 2023, literally. They saw the side of me that I’d never shown, yet I’ve never been judged. That’s why, I truly would like to thank those mentioned (and not mentioned too, of course, you guys deserve a mention in this too!)

And to myself, Happy Birthday!