Tumgik
#im only seven days into recovery after 2 lomg miserable years and im already starting to come back i think
nexttothelamp · 9 months
Text
<3
#hot damn#i dont usually come here to write about good things but#god damn i caught myself SINGING again#SINGING#...i used to do that all the time. always have. it might even be like a stimming thing for me#...i dont know when i got so sick i stopped. in fact i didnt notice the lack of it until i just caught myself doing it#im only seven days into recovery after 2 lomg miserable years and im already starting to come back i think#honestly i dare not think it. i cant handle the disappointment again#but the brain fog was gone aftrr 3 days#18 months of my brain being slow and thick and never getting my point across#stutter and speech tick becoming infinitely worse#and then it was just... gone#7 days#7 days and im singing again#i fell to my knees the moment i realized and literally just. sobbed#im never gonna take anything for granted again. this was more than a wake up call#this is a new beginning for me I think#fuck. only 7 days#today is also the first day in over a year i ate fresh things instead of fast food. no fast food at all today!#the first time i almost burned down the house i stopped cooking. the first time I accidentally cut myself I stopped cutting fruits n veggies#but i cooked today. i ate kiwis and fish and asparagus and im gonna go make more fish and maybe a pot of potato soup#gonna go clean a whole tub of strawberries and eat them all at once right off the leaf#i am going to peel a cucumber and deep throat that motherfucker. 2 bites max im tellin ya#fuck. i'll never take it for granted again im gonna use this life to do as much good as i can#....im too scared to say im actually getting better. cuz what if this is just like last time. what if my last 2 MRIs pick up something?#what if this is just another calm before the storm and im about to live through some new fresh hell i didnt think i could sink to?#...but im seven days into recovery#and today i started singing again#and thats not nothing#id say delete later but i wont
2 notes · View notes