#im passionate about gender neutral bathrooms you dont even know

[atthebell-moved]

Another thing i wanna complain about at twitchcon sd: the bathrooms. Not about cleanliness or lines (i never waited in a line a single time) but gender inclusivity.

The convention center has never updated their bathrooms so they have only women's and men's restrooms (and likely some family & accessible one-stall rooms somewhere; i never saw them). Twitch, in a very sad attempt at inclusivity, slapped up trans/all-gender symbols (⚧️) next to each of these to say "all bathrooms are gender neutral/inclusive". Which is cool! If that were actually the case.

Instead it was just. Women's and men's bathrooms. And as is always the case in public places with gendered bathrooms, most non-binary people were just all using the women's bathrooms (including me) bc I'd rather feel a little weird than get harassed by random twitch bros for using their bathrooms.

So like. I guess they made an effort? And they worked with what they had, which was gendered bathrooms, but it was still a bit frustrating. Obviously the convention center and other venues need to work on this stuff but it would help if companies renting them out pushed for it.

[sleepy-dreamers-inc]

ok but like wilbur as a dad? like him taking care of you while you pregnant and making sure you feel amazing and confident and just supporting you.. fuck man

Wilbur as a Dad!|| 🌼

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff

h e a d-c a n n o n s||

Sypnosis|

WILBUR AS A DAD POG

Artist| yanteruu on twitter!

warnings: pregnancy!!

(also pronouns are still gender neutral bc pog)

a/n: THIS ANON KNOWS WHO I SIMP FOR THIS HAS FED ME-

- he was with you in the bathroom as you took the test, leaning against the wall as you did your thing, he simply stared at you much to you wondering why he was.

- It didn’t matter though once beeping bounced off the bathroom walls, as you got up and walked over to him, only looking at it with him.

positive.

- Wilbur never picked you up so fast, he was laughing and giggling as he burried his face into your chest, he was so happy.

“Y/N!! Im- Im gonna be a dad!” He cried out, putting you down but grasping your shoulders. Y/N simply looked up at him, teary eyed and smiling. “Yeah, Wilbur, and you’ll be a great one.” Y/N said, standing on they’re tippy-toes and wrapping they’re arms around his neck, trying to give him a kiss. He simply smiled, snaking his hands to your torso, pulling both of you closer to his body. All he did was press his lips against yours, so softly yet passionate. As both of you separated, all Wilbur had to say was,

“I love you, both of you.”

- Although he was protective of you before, he definitely was now. Well... more of clingy. He was always by your side and catered to all of yours and your babies needs.

- Morning cuddles where your both laying in bed, his head beneath your chest, but above your stomach. He loved the intimacy, being able to be close to the 2 most dearest people in his life.

- Telling Philza and Tommy when you were about 3 weeks in, Tommy screaming while Phil was the definition of [surprised pikachu face]

“W-wait? Y/N’s pregnant?” Phil asked, all 3 of them met up at a small cafe since he wanted to spend some time with his other family. “Yeah!! Dad, im gonna be a dad!” Wilbur jumped in his seat, he was so giddy about everything, not that anyone was complaining.

“Wait... this doesn’t mean you’re going to be spending less time with m- i mean us right?” Tommy said, his face toward his drink, yet looking up at his older brother.

“Awwwww Tommy-!!” Wilbur cooed, looking at the teenager with adoration. “I wont be online much in the later months, but for now my schedule will be relatively the same.” Wilbur stated, sipping his drink, looking at Tommy. “But hey, wanna go back to my place and see Y/N? They didn’t want to come since ‘they didn’t want to ruin the surprise.’” Wilbur asked, both boys nodded as they headed out.

- The ENTIRE SMP traveling to the UK to see you, they already loved you before, but my god they practically stole you from Wilbur for a few.

- Techno was,, surprisingly protective of you. Whenever you were out in public and Wilbur wasn’t there, he was right by your side. He liked you before, you were incredibly nice to talk with, and never minded his tangents.

- Wilbur asking Techno if he has anything to confess, only for Techno to punch him in the shoulder as you giggled

- Setting up a baby room would be both adorable and a disaster. Wilbur would have no clue what he’d be doing most of the time, but seeing him laughing and giggling as he smiled at his mistakes... your heart simply melted

- Him kissing your stomach. This is very important. Every chance he gets, he kisses your stomach. Without hesitation. Even if your not showing, he’ll still do it.

- Both of you going out on little shopping trips, picking out baby stuff.

“Y/N!! Look at this onesie! We have to get it, the baby will look even more adorable.” Wilbur giggled, as he put the article of clothing into the trolly. “Wilbur, sweetie, dont you think we already bought enough?” Y/N asked, smiling a contagious smile as they looked at they’re lover.

- Telling his fanbase was a tad bit interesting, it was during a Geoguesser stream, where you walked into the room, you were in your second trimester by now, so it was very obvious you were, indeed, pregnant.

- So when you walked in to get some laundry, obviously pregnant, and in view, his chat went CRAZY

‘WILBUR?? WILBUR???!!???’

‘Wilbur got something to fess up?’

‘The fangirls are quaking’

‘Hes got someone in his bed AND in his twitch chat pog’

‘POG?????’

‘Wilbur says hes a soft boy on the streets but a freak in the sheets-‘

- Wilbur just say there wide eyed, as he turned around and looked over at you. You were bending down to grab some clothes, unaware of the situation. He quickly sprung up though, grabbing the clothes out of your hands, quickly throwing them off the bed.

“Love!! I thought you said you were going to rest...” Wilbur mumbled, pulling you close, rocking both of your forms back and forth. “I did, Wilby, but work around the house needs to be done, for the baby-“ “No, you need to rest for the baby. The baby will not be happy if they’re beautiful parent is not getting the proper rest they need and deserve.” He said, looking at you with a pouty face. Y/N simply sighed then giggled, finally giving in.

“Oh also... wanna introduce the little one to chat..? They saw you two.” Wilbur asked, scratching the back of his neck, looking at his partner.

- Singing lullabies to the baby, even if its not born yet. He’ll lighty strum his guitar, humming a tune as you lay next to him, enjoying both’s presence

- Wilbur constantly holding onto you, ESPECIALLY in public. Someone will look at you the wrong way and all the sudden Wilbur is practically suffocating you, eyeing the person who dare look at you the wrong the way

- Making special lullabies for the baby once they’re born, he’ll sing them to both of you before bed, and it always lulls you to sleep

- Orca plushie, Orca plushie

- You know that man bought little beanies and sweaters. Sorry its canon.

- When the baby started to kick he legitimately cried. He was so happy, all he wanted was to hold his baby.

- A absolute mess when Y/N is delivering the baby, he’s just pacing around the waiting room as Phil is trying to calm him down.

- Him being a total man baby with Phil, just constantly like ‘daaaAAAAAAD’ ‘phiiiiil i miss Y/N’ ‘i want my babies where are my babies’

- once he gets into the dilivery he is literally just:

- i will make a part 2 of this if requested because i have IDEAS, HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

a/n: i skipped my math class to finish this, so kinda pog. Anyways soft dad wilbur makes me soft, i have writers block atm and have no clue what im even doing half the time but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless :)

Also finally I uploaded I’ve been stressing for days ; - ;

[crumpledjournal]

5.2.17

so apparently my school does this program where kids can head out into the woods for a weekend every once in a while and just… talk it out i guess. that was this past weekend, Ma (not my mom, a friend) told me to go. my old history teacher had been plugging for the trip for years, but id never actually gone. never thought id be able to explain wanting to go have a feelings jam with a buncha other kids in the woods to my dad. i didnt really until i came back and recapped a little (honoring the agreement i signed before going to not share anyones story from the trip).

on the one hand, i feel so fucking healthy!!! i feel like i have subsisted for the past year off of nothing but avocado smoothies and kale juice and like i have been doing yoga for 85 hours a day and like i finally met a person or two who i can actually speak my mind to and get more than just a “sure dude.” like, good lord does this feel good

i mean, thats what i told Ge and Di and i genuinely believe it. (both Di and i knew basically nobody other than eachother and we were alone in a sea of strangers for the first few hours.)

dont get me wrong, i feel lots better. i got a lot off of my chest. but there was also a lot left unsaid on my part. out of all the people there (about 90) there were two others who shared that they were genderqueer (and there were only like two other people who brought up the topic at all). one of them i had some p bad experiences with in middle school. the other was a student leader and facilitator of the trip, so Re (the leader) didnt really have a lot of time to talk, and in the discussions Re was mostly asking questions and… well, facilitating. plus, gender came up like once. and Re was not there.

but i was! it was nice to talk a little. i was in a meeting with the school principal about installing gender neutral bathrooms at the school a week or two ago and i talked about that with them, and i told them that being genderqueer goes waywaywayway back and lots of other stuff, i guess. but i didnt say anything about my experiences with being genderqueer, really.

and damn did i want to! idk if yall have picked up on this yet (all none of you) but talking to people about my shit is just so healing for me. thats why i have a public journal! like, talking to equals and feeling heard. i could tell my mom or the school therapist (and i do, often) about my shit and its cool, theyre supportive and shit, but since i started this class ive had no time to keep up old friendships that were based around hanging out. like, were still friends i guess, but… playing minigolf over text is just not the same, man.

there was this thing last night where from like, right after dinner until about 3 in the morning, we talked. people had seven minutes that they could use however they wanted in front of the whole group, and it was just their job to listen. and let me tell you, id been crafting my seven minutes for like, three hours before my name came up. the thing is, i planned like twenty minutes of monologue. i talked about a bunch of the family stuff ive got and that was real cathartic. i also got to talk about my struggles with depression, which was a real common topic. but… ive been thinking about the possibility of myself being a trans girl really, really hard over the past couple of months, and i still havent shared that other than with the people whove read this journal.

which is nobody, other than a couple people browsing tags when i talked about moana a little while ago. i havent told that many people i write this, but. i kinda trusted those who i did to read it i guess.

i dunno. i think im most afraid that im not going to have any healthy girl friendships. i see all these women and girls and they have such supportive relationships with eachother. i see it every day. holy shit, if you havent seen the rage and passion with which girls defend their true friends… Hoo Boy.

and im so worried i wont have that! like. i love being agender, and it’s wonderful to have the ability and the knowledge and the acceptance to be an out nonbinary person and not really have so many problems stemming from that in my life. but i have this fear that that ill be in this purgatory of a questioning period for just long enough that when i finally make up my goddamn mind and trust my conviction enough to come out as a trans girl ill have lost the opportunity to have these wonderful, girl-to-girl relationships. as an agender person i feel like so much of an intruder in these female spaces.

Like, Ha (who I met on the trip) was so wonderful and badass, especially considering the amount of shit shes had to go through. jimminy christmas, shes fucking strong. i try not to gender people here but when the topic is gender itself that kind of context feels crucial… but anyways. she came and sat with me when i was eating lunch alone in the corner and brought a couple other girls and. i mean, some of the body language of the others kind of told me they werent super interested in me being there but… it felt… so good. just to be in a female space, just to be included there for the most part, without cis guys around that i would get lumped with.

but then i think i had a panic attack like, near to immediately after that, because i felt like i was making them incredibly uncomfortable by being an intruder in their female space. and when my female friends were having a hard time during the trip (as often happened) i felt like it wasnt my place to comfort them and that as a natal male i would just make them more uncomfortable and they would doubt their friendship with me because so many guys just take advantage of women when they’re at their lowest emotional state and that’s the last thing i want to be seen as and i tried to hug a few women who were having a really hard time over the course of the trip but i just got this churning in my stomach because i might make it worse if i make them think i just want to hug them so i can feel them aginst my stupid fucking body and if i keep writing this sentence then im going to have another panic attack

i dont know what to do. i dont know who to talk to because despite the number of people who said i could come to them this weekend, nobody else talked about gender shit, and those genderqueer people who i do know have just told me to look into my heart and shit, which doesnt help because thats what ive been trying to do. i feel like i cant talk to women because to them ill just be another guy who’s venting because he feels like he can dump all his emotional shit on the closest woman (especially women i just met on the trip, i couldnt ask them to spend however long it takes out of their day to read this when i just met them). i feel like i cant talk to men because if theyre not transphobic to begin with, they either refuse to talk about emotional shit, or can neither relate to feeling like they wont have any healthy girl-to-girl friendships nor realte to being genderqueer. i know im going to send this little essay to somebody soon because i just need to hear at least one other persons thoughts but i dont know who its going to be

and on top of all of that i keep getting these stomach aches at mealtimes and no other time of day and i dont know if it was the confessions from people with eating disorders or something else but my stomach aches and then i dont eat and then it aches because im hungry until the next meal when it aches again and i cant eat and when youre choosing between not eating or eating and feeling like you want to throw up, do you have an eating disorder already? i dont know anything thats going on with my body and im depressed and i feel so ashamed because there were so many people who had stories that felt so much more real than just a pronoun and a stomach ache and they spent their seven minutes with what seemed like no regrets about not having shared things and here i am writing a fucking dissertation pity paper about myself because i feel like it wasnt enough time to talk about my dumb fucking problems even though what i have aint shit and if i fall into the spiral of ands i legitimately will have a worse panic attack and i dont know who i can comfortably ask to do the fucking weightlifting championship level shit that is required to do the emotional heavy lifting and read bullshit im putting on the page without feeling like im inconveniencing them to the nth degree

so i guess thats where im at