#im probably forgetting a lot tbh bcs i typed this up when i havent slept

[xinamie]

— kung lao thoughts !

just saw someone on another platform say that kung lao is not complex and lemme just. ok hold on. he's more than a cocky, food loving man.

i'm gonna focus on mk1 for now, but hear me outtttt !!! mk1 story spoilers ahead, you've been warned!

kung lao, a humble farmer, who is the descendant of the Great kung lao (lord liu kang's champion in the past iirc and like they were CLOSE bcs remember the scene with the jade statue? anyway off topic).

of course with family honor like that, lao would have this confidence, this arrogance, this ego that everyone groans about. he has this reputation to uphold - this legacy. he wants to be as great as his ancestor!

in the beginning, you find out that he isn't satisfied with the farm life like raiden is. he's the first to jump and react when liu kang tells them all about earthrealm after the test with the lin kuei. he craves adventure, glory, and a sense of just ... achievement.

he loses the title of champion to raiden, but sucks it up and congratulates him. he supports him along the way - bragging about raiden to general shao and cheering for raiden through the outworld matches. even if he was upset that he wasn't the chosen one (re: liu kang hitting him with that one line 'if you trained harder, you would have been champion' LIKE OW DAMN ok) - he still honors raiden and accepts the outcome.

let's talk about his story ending, kung lao messed up with shujinko! shujinko went haywire and it was because he didn't learn humility because kung lao couldn't teach it to him!! lao had always been so confident that he didn't put that into lessons for his student which led to liu kang and raiden stepping in. in this moment, i like to believe that lao learns how important humility is. not through himself directly, but seeing what had happened to shujinko.

omg what about the funny little lines about acting? how johnny offered them movie roles in the end and when raiden politely declined, lao whined. maybe he's intrigued about being able to work on a movie, to get out there and experience the world than just that farm life he knew.

kung lao didn't get to be champion, but he was able to go on missions in outworld and i like to think that he thrived. he got a taste of that adventure, that journey, you know?

kung lao is playful - those lines about wanting to spook raiden's sister with syzoth or how he whined to kuai liang(? i think or tomas?) about how he wanted to test raiden's sister too. how he flashed johnny with the flashlight LMAO. how he gets scolded by madam bo for making excuses sometimes.

LASTLY and also something i think people forget here and there, kung lao is ALSO respectful to some degrees omg. remember when johnny pulled that ripley line and kung lao was like bro??? that plus how he stood up for raiden as mentioned before, he literally becomes a shaolin master ... he may not be a saint, but i don't think he'd be treating people horribly or the type to be flirty every single time.

all in all, there are many sides to kung lao and i think there's a lot to be explored here. i'm down for the silly fandom lao moments, but also serious lao, conflicted lao, focused lao, etc etc. he's a champion to me.

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[pharahlesbian]

hi, so i just followed you recently and i see you're into kpop. i've been trying to get into kpop for a while (esp the girl groups) but it's just such a big community i have no idea where to even start. do you know what i should do or who to listen to?

ok ok im so happy someone’s asking me about kpop lol? i generally dont talk about it that much. pls feel free to talk to me more as u get into groups and such. anywayy, here are my favs!!

(everything under the cut bc im about to talk for a while)

GIRLS

-f(x)

top bias, favorite group ever, i love them. they debuted as 5 members (victoria, amber, luna, sulli, krystal) but sulli left the group in 2015, right before their most recent album. managed by sm entertainment, debuted in 2009.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7MHZpSNJQc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8I8QGFA1oM 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnku4o3tRB4 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j7Umwfx60Q 

look up any of their stuff, i have literally their entire discography lol they really don’t have a bad song, imo. they were introduced as like a “cool” little sister group to girls generation, another sm girl group who’s really big in korea and who u might have heard of if ur sort of already getting into kpop. 

-girls generation (snsd)

speaking of girls generation, lol. their korean name is “so nyuh shi dae”, hence the snsd acronym. they debuted 10 years ago under sm, and they’re so impactful on korean culture that they’re like in textbooks and shit. they’re currently 8 members (taeyeon, yuri, yoona, sooyoung, tiffany, hyoyeon, seohyun, and sunny), but they debuted with 9. jessica left in 2014 after some messy shit with the company. snsd is like HUGE in japan. their japanese songs are so good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVCubhQ454c 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_gfD3nvh-8 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8j_XEn9b_8 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq7ftOZBy0E 

-red velvet

one more sm group lol. i kinda hate sm because they treat their groups rly shitty but i love their groups so much. ANYWAY, red velvet is sm’s most recently girl group, debuted in 2014 with 4 members: irene, seulgi, wendy, and joy. in march 2015, they got a new member, yeri, which everyone was kinda confused about. she was super young at the time, like 16 i think, so maybe she was too young to debut in 2014? dunno. their concept is that they can do girly concepts (red) and more mature, r&b type concepts (velvet). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFgv8bKfxEs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpAn9ryoB4Y 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glXgSSOKlls 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGdbaEDVWp0 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px2Q47O0_eE 

-twice

managed by jyp, another big company like sm. debuted in 2015 with 9 members (jihyo, nayeon, jeongyeon, sana, mina, momo, chaeyoung, dahyun, and tzuyu). they were formed after participating in a survival show called sixteen where sixteen jyp trainees competed to be in the new girl group. i’ve been following them since their debut so i have a special place in my heart for them. also they’re all younger than me so they’re all my daughters 

they’re pretty huge in korea atm, and everyone’s calling them the next snsd, which is making snsd fans (sones) all pissed off and starting a really dumb fan war. this is why i dont rly align myself with kpop fandoms lmao theyre all so embarrassing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rtV5esQT6I 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7rCyll5AeY 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePpPVE-GGJw 

-gfriend

another favorite. i forget what company they’re under. they debuted in 2015 with 6 members (sowon, yerin, yuju, sinb, umji, eunha). they’re from a super small company but theyre so fuckin talented that it caught everyone’s attention. also they went viral because yuju fell down a lot on a rainy stage once alskdfjs. they’re super known for their really tight dancing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxnD5AViu6k 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-CKVr6Z1Tw 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag2R7Mt8yI8 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se8bbsUFjC8 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8CydQ-Y3Hs 

-mamamoo

debuted in 2014 with four members: solar, moonbyul, wheein, and hwasa. literally the most talented and straight-up performers in every sense of the word, on this entire list. i havent even written the boys list yet, but they beat all of them. they have amazing chemistry, beautiful harmonies and dancing. they have amazing control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGgrRoMJ6Yc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFuJAIMQjHk 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h41Rrk_6rzs 

they’re literally so funny and cute and charismatic and talented as hell, pls get into them

BOYS

get ready for this list to be like dramaaatically shorter lmao anyway girl groups are better than boy groups bye

-shinee

best of the best. shinee fucking invented singing, dancing, and the concept of boy groups altogether. they’ve done some really stupid concepts, but somehow they ALWAYS WORK. they’re under sm (surprise, surprise, i love everything sm does ugh) and debuted in 2008 with 5 members: onew, jonghyun, key, minho, and taemin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DocBfPIgk70 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roughtzsCDI 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dww9UjJ4Dt8 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF53cptEE5k&spfreload=1 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcu7yZBeSKw 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJua7KEP_oE 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nchkAmc49p4 

-bts

literally everyones fucking obsessed with bts, including me. stands for bangtan sonyeondan, which roughly translates to bulletproof boy scouts. debuted in 2013 with 7 members: rap monster, suga, j-hope, jin, jungkook, v, and jimin. they were like crazy hyped-up pre-debut, which is probably why they’re so big.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw540DtB5mM 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8MfJg68oCs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVwAVbKYYeM 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALj5MKjy2BU 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmE9f-TEutc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8 

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Sistar

Exo

Ladies’ Code

Wonder Girls

2ne1

Block B (if ur into homestuck you’ll recognize nilili mambo)

Girls’ Day

Oh My Girl

After School/Orange Caramel

Pristin

Seventeen

AKMU (duet)

Ailee (solo)

AOA

IU (solo)

Lee Hi (solo)

Blackpink

CLC

Crush (solo)

Dean (solo)

Exid

Monsta X

4 Minute

Kara

WJSN