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#im really afraid that whoever dies next is going to propel me into suicide
chyarnoe
·
1 year
Text
The goal I set for myself when I was suicidal as a teen was 30, and yknow. There's still time.
#horrible day at work that became a horrible night at home
#and im also sick
#tw suicide
#i genuinely dont see myself living past maybe 40
#as i see my family get older i realize i dont want to know their deaths or live in a world without them
#im really afraid that whoever dies next is going to propel me into suicide
#or even if they get gravely ill
#because sometimes a support system isnt enough
#im tired and sick and my job threatened to fire me
#and my boyfriend ignored me for no fucking reason
#the goal is still 30
#5 years is simultaneously a long and short time.
#it never fucking ends
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