#im scared of the inevitability of finishing the season and needing to wait on more content

[maledictusfotum]

Five days.

five.

Days.

[saibh29]

Survival 101: Tears (Part 7)

Pairing: Bellamy / Reader

Warnings: Death, Violence, Swearing, Angst.... 

AN: Hey my lovelies thanks so much for all the wonderful comments and messages on this series so far. This chapter was quite difficult to write, as it features some aspects of Season 1 that I wasn’t comfortable watching. I’ve had to split it into 2 because it was just to long to post in one go. One the plus side this means another post of Survival probably tomorrow.  You can find the other parts here.....Survival 101 Master List

And then because I get asked alot for this you can find my Masterlist for other stories and oneshots here.... Masterlist

@no-other-names-availible-blog @angelaiswriting @selldraug @angryares @thenovarose @georgiagrl1990 @punk-rock-5-sos @mindofthescattered @dontstopxx @iamabeautifulperson18 @coffeebooksandfandom @madelinecraig03 @ka-x-in @im-hurric4ne @mesmericbell  As always if you’d like to join or leave the tag list please let me know

You’d found the body just before dawn, drawn to the rapidly increasing in size graveyard to pay somewhat final respects to Atom.

At first you thought maybe Wells had just fallen asleep, then of course you’d gotten closer and your stomach had cramped in horror. There was a knife sticking from Wells carotid artery in much the way you’d stabbed Atom only hours before. Wells would have bled out in minutes, no way to stop a shot to the artery like that, once it was pierced death would be almost inevitable.

You leant over and gently closed his eyes. You had to tell the others, warn them that the grounders were becoming more aggressive and getting closer to the camp the group of 100 had constructed.

“Y/N? Y/N are you out here?”

“O! Stay up there” you shouted “go and fetch Bellamy and Clarke”

“What? Why”

You should have known her curiosity wouldn’t allow her to just do as you asked, instead her head popped over the rise, eyes widening.

“Oh my god. Y/N is he dead?”

“O go and get Bellamy” you repeated slowly. She was looking around nervously at the trees surrounding the grave yard. Almost as if she expected the grounders to jump from them screaming.

“What if they’re still here?” she asked “I can’t just leave you”

“Octavia” the use of her full name got her attention off of the trees and back onto you. “I need you to go and fetch Bellamy and Clarke. We have to sort this out. I’ll be fine”

She finally agreed scrambling back over the ledge and towards camp. You moved back towards Wells crouching down beside his body.

You couldn’t help but find your eyes moving to the knife in his neck. It took a minute of staring for you to realise what exactly it was that was bothering you about it. The handle of the knife had a yellow emergency symbol on it, similar to what was on the airlock doors of the dropship.

You leant forwards taking hold of the hilt pulling out the knife and spinning it around in your hands to stare at the symbol.

“Not possible” you whispered as you realised what exactly it was that you were seeing.

Footsteps and shouts were coming closer and getting up you pushed the knife into your pocket just in time for Bellamy to appear on the top of the ledge followed by Clarke and Finn.

Clarke was screaming falling beside Wells with Finn clasping a hand on her shoulder as you took a step back your body colliding with Bellamy behind you. He grabbed your upper arms to steady you, hands staying there as he too stared down at Wells body.

“You found him like this?”

You bobbed your head once “Someone stabbed him in the neck, he would have bled out in minutes”

“Grounders are coming closer to camp. We’ll have to increase the guard patrols”

This was your chance, tell him about the knife and the fact that somewhere in camp you had a murderer lurking. Clarke had gotten to her feet though and was coming towards you both, just like the moment was gone.

“We need to bury him” her voice cracked at the word bury, but she didn’t allow herself to cry or even to let sadness creep onto her face. “He deserves that”

“It’ll get done” Bellamy agreed still stood behind you.

Clarke’s eyes however were still on you. “He lied to me” she admitted “He let me believe that for all this time he had turned in my father”

“He didn’t?” Clarke shook her head and horror settled once more in your stomach. “Abby…she…Abby?”

Clarke nodded sharply once, plainly unwilling to talk about it. She allowed Finn to lead her away with an arm on her lower back.

“You can let go of me now Bellamy”

He did quickly almost jerking away as he realised he really had still been holding onto your arms. You turned to face him, the moment was back again and this time you used it, taking out the knife from your pocket.

“I don’t think a grounder killed Wells”

“What?”

“Look” you gave him the knife “see that yellow mark its part of an oxygen warning label stamped onto the dropship airlocks, and here” you pointed once more to the hilt of the knife.

“Fuck” Bellamy rubbed a hand over his face. “This killed him?”

“Well it was sticking out of his neck” you put the knife away again. “I didn’t think it was wide to advertise the fact that we had a murderer in camp”

“No… fuck, why does this keep getting so messed up?”

“Bellamy” you reached out and squeezed his forearm. “We need to do something about this, maybe not instantly but it will come out and we need to be ready”

“By doing what exactly?”

“I don’t know” sighing you mimicked his gesture of rubbing a hand over your face. “We need to tell Clarke”

“She’ll want to tell everyone” he warned.

You paused at that before finally just shrugging once more “Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing”

“No it would be fucking terrible” Bellamy sounded angry at even the suggestion of telling Clarke. “All that they’ve achieved so far, the wall, the patrols everything is done out of fear of the grounders. If we tell them that someone from camp murdered Wells we lose all of that. All that cohesion is replaced once more by suspicion.”

He was making sense you knew that. “Then what? We stay quiet?”

“For now, yeah” breaking eye contact he went back to looking at Wells. “Fetch me a shovel?”

“You’re going to bury him” he grunted “Yourself?”

“I’m going to bury him. Clarke was right about that at least, he deserves to not just be left here”

You couldn’t hide the shock that Bellamy was going to bury him on his own but went back to camp anyway grabbing shovels from the pile near the wall then heading back to the grave yard.

Bellamy stared at you in surprise this time when you kept a shovel to help him dig.

“What? You’re right ok. Both you and Clarke. He deserves a decent burial. He was my friend you know, for a long time on the Ark”

“I know. Everyone knew that you, Wells and Clarke were meant to be destined for great things”

“Meant to be” digging your shovel angrily into the ground you threw out great shovels of dirt. “I spent many nights at Wells apartment as a child. My father, he was always drunk. Not a nice man to be around. Wells, he used to let me camp out in his room. We thought we were being sneaky, trying to keep quiet all night but his father must have known and simply allowed it to keep happening”

“He sounds like a good friend”

“He was. Wells was loyal to a fault and always did the right thing”

“Yet he turned on you with a seeming second thought?”

You stopped digging, happy with the depth of the hole as Bellamy carefully put Wells body in the ground starting to cover him with the dugout soil once more.

“He was just doing what he thought was right. Protecting his family and Clarke from a so called murderer”

You both had finished the grave and discarding his shovel Bellamy walked over to you standing as close as it was possible to be without touching you.

“Then he was an idiot Y/N”

“What?”

“I’ve known you for only a few weeks and I could already swear before the gods that you didn’t murder anyone”

Fuck you’d had no idea how badly you had longed to hear someone say that to you. How much you had needed to know that someone at least believed you weren’t capable of the monstrous acts they’d accused you of. That coupled with the death of Atom and Wells along with everything else that had happened in the last few days pushed you over the edge.

You were crying real tears. Something you hadn’t done since the day you’d found your mothers lifeless body in your apartment.

Your whole body shuddered as you fell into Bellamy. His arms came around you holding you tightly as you clung desperately to the soft fabric of his shirt, bunching the material into your clenched fists.

“Shhhh, Y/N it’s alright. You’re alright”

You sobbed for a while longer barely registering the soft words he was whispering in your ear as he tried to soothe the tears away.

It took a few minutes but you finally got yourself back under control letting go of his shirt and raising your face out of his chest. He didn’t however unwrap his arms from around your waist.

“Thank you” your words were quiet “Plainly I needed that to come out”

“You don’t have to thank me Y/N”

Finally he let you go taking a step back as you wiped your eyes roughly with your sleeve, inwardly building your walls back up again. You deliberately focused entirely on the fresh mound of earth covering Wells body. Not looking at Bellamy and the danger in his eyes.

“You have until dusk Bellamy and then I’m showing this knife to Clarke. So whatever it is you’re planning on doing, do it fast”

You didn’t wait for an answer simply turned and walked away back towards camp, deliberately not looking back at him, scared almost of what you might see on his face.

 *****************

“Finn what is she doing?” your whispered questioned made Finn glance back over his shoulder at you. Leaning on the edge of the dropship door as Clarke allowed Monty to bend over her wristband with a tool that  made it look ominously like they were trying to remove it.

“Punishing her mother apparently”

“She wants Abby to think she’s dead?”

“Wells…”

Sighing your hand unconsciously went to your own wristband, the number of your still wearing them was rapidly fading away. In fact apart from you and Finn the remaining number probably didn’t exceed more than 30.

“She’s being childish”

Finn predictable as ever jumped instantly to Clarkes defence. “She just found out that her mother got her father killed Y/N. Give her a break”

“Now is that reasoning coming from your brain Finn” your eyes moved purposefully down his body “or further down?”

He didn’t get a chance to answer as Clarke gasped as Monty squawked in excitement.

“Yes! I did it, it’s still operational”

Clarke came over to where you and Finn were stood, shrugging at your accusing gaze. “What? Monty needed a working wristband”

“And you need to punish Abby”

Clarke flinched, apparently unhappy with being reminded of her actual reasons for taking off the wristband. Fair enough she was hurting, you could understand that. However, the reasons for keeping on the wristband hadn’t changed. You needed the Ark to come to the ground and Clarke had just given the council one more reason to not.

“Look they’re running out of air and we need their help I get that. My mother thinking I’m dead is only temporary”

“Temporary?” snorting you shook your head at Clarke. “How many people have you just killed Clarke through a petty need for revenge on your mother?”

“None if I can help it” Monty piped in, you hadn’t even realised he’d still been listening. “Not if I can patch this thing through the dropship mainframe. If I can… we’ll be talking to The Ark by nightfall”

“See nothing to worry about” Clarke smiled stalking out of the ship.

“Keep an eye on her?” you asked Finn “she’s not exactly thinking straight”

Agreeing Finn left keeping up with Clarke as you moved over to Monty.

“Really think you can get that thing to talk to the Ark”

“Sure…” he trailed off staring at the wristband but managed a large smile as he looked back up at you. “Tonight Y/N, we can all talk to our families again”

You didn’t share is enthusiasm but appreciated the effort he was making. Leaving him to his work you went back out of the dropship staring out over camp.

Bellamy was right you thought watching as the kids milled around camp, moving materials for the wall from one place to the other, standing guard at the various points that weren’t completed and in general working together that wouldn’t still happen if they found out about the knife in your pocket.

On the other hand though the truth had a nasty way of always coming out and if it did come out that the murderer was in camp. Was one of them. If that came out and it brought with it the fact that you and Bellamy had both known about it then that presented another whole lot of questions.

“Y/N” Octavia came up beside you wrapping an arm around your waist. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing”

She laughed softly “you can’t lie to me Y/N and after everything we’ve been through together it’s almost insulting that you’d try”

You half way to telling her that you weren’t lying when you recognised she was right. She did deserve more than you lying to her about what was going on around camp.

“Alright, but not here. Come with me” taking Octavia’s hand you led her around the back of the dropship and out into the part of camp that hadn’t yet been fully enclosed. No one was around here as the past night it had rained hard and made it impossible to build on the ground here yet.

“This is the knife that killed Wells”

Octavia studied the blade you handed over staring at the edges confusion on her face. Until of course she turned it over and she saw exactly what you’d shown to Bellamy only hours before, then her face paled as she looked back up at you not wanting to believe it but unable to deny it.

Not counting the yellow warning label on the hilt there was one other indisputable fact to why the murderer was somewhere in camp.

Written in scratched letters on the hilt of the knife was a name. ‘John Murphy’