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i2gyus · 3 years

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summary: after constantly feeling like a lo$er, kim yujin meets 5 boys who are individually experiencing the same problems as her. all 6 of them start off as lo$ers, but will they stay like that until the end?

warnings: none, bullying, mentions of suicide, might include texts between yujin and the boys

pairing: txt ot5 x f!reader

chapter one: meeting soobin

life. to yujin, that word meant nothing but stress. thankfully, she had a friend, who she could vent to. she'd talk to him about basically everything, whether it was about working at the diner, her mental health or just how she's doing in general. kai was a very special person to yujin. whether she liked it or not, he'd always look out for her. now, she'd have to look out for him. ever since kai moved to her college, he was a target. he'd text her everyday saying he wanted to die. he tried committing suicide on multiple occasions, but she was always there to stop him.

"are you sure you'll be okay?" she asked him.

"i'm sure, yujin-- go. you'll be late--for work." the male replied between tears.

"kai, i don't have to go. i can call in sick." yujin reassured him.

"i said i'll be fine, now go."

hesitant, yujin turned her back against him and started walking to her car. he won't be fine, she thought, he always says that so i won't worry, but of course if you say that huening kai, i'll be worried.

instead of driving to work, she drove home. still concerned about kai, she pulled out her phone and messaged him.

yujinie💗 hey kai are you there

kai😣 yeah i am is everything okay??

yujinie💗 i should be asking you

kai😣 where are you im not seeing you

yujinie💗 im home where are you

kai😣 at the diner OH MY GOD SCMOIDMCSOI

yujinie💗 what kai kai are you okay

kai😣 physically? yes mentally? hm. i don't know emotionally? no

yujinie💗 what's happening

kai😣 aight dont get mad but like theres this cute guy at the diner and

yujinie💗 im coming

within 3 minutes, yujin reached the diner to see the 'cute guy' kai was talking about.

"over here!" kai whisper-shouted at her.

"okay, okay. i'm coming." she replied, eyeing the people around her.

she sat down at kai's table.

"so, what do you think?" he asked her.

"about what?"

"him, you idiot." kai said pointing to a tall guy.

he was about 6 ft, had brown hair and dimples. he really was cute.

"i'm gonna get his number." he told her.

"no, stay here. i'm gonna talk to him." yujin replied.

"why you though?"

"because i work here, and he looks like a new employee." she began, "maybe i can show him around."

before kai could respond, yujin left the table and approached the guy.

"hi!" she said.

"hello. welcome to seona's (the name of the diner), how can i help you?" he replied in a deep but soft voice.

"i--uh..i actually--um..work here." yujin stuttered.

"oh!" the male replied surprised, "you must be yujin, right?"

"yeah, i am!" she shook her head.

"i'm soobin, it's nice to finally meet you." soobin replied with a smile, "kai told me so much about you."

"k-kai?" she asked, "you know him?"

"of course i do, we were science partners for a project in middle school, kept contact since."

"oh okay," she began, "d-do you mind if we exchange numbers?"

"not at all!" soobin replied.

after exchanging numbers, yujin returned to kai's table.

"you idiot." she mumbled.

"what? i did what i had to do."

"yeah, yeah. you're on your own now." she replied, picking up her bag from underneath the table.

"wait, where are you going?" he asked

"home. where else."

"at least let me come."

"fine."

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TIME SKIP: location: yujin's house time: 17:09 (5:09PM)

"there's snacks and food in the fridge if you get hungry." yujin told kai before entering her room.

"w-what? hey don't leave me!!"

this time, locking her door.

[the following emojis and stuff are what soobin has her saved as]

yujin😊 hey soobin it's yujin

soobin😻 oh hi! :) so how are you?

yujin😊 good for now, you?

soobin😻 IM SO STRESSED RIGHT NOW i can't keep up this sweet/nice/positive person act up anymore im so so so tired rn and seona's keeps calling me to come in to work

yujin😊 i- oh that's how the first week was for me also don't worry it'll get better 💗

"OH GOD!" yujin panicked-screamed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO LEE YUJIN." kai shouted back from the living room.

"I was messaging soobin and then I accidently put a heart at the end of the message." she said almost in tears, "He's gonna think I'm a creep."

"Don't worry, he won't." kai comforted, "I put an angry face emoji along with a knife in one of my messages with him when we first met, he didn't say anything."

[in case you can't imagine that, this is what it looks like {😡🔪}]

"What the heck were you guys talking about?" She asked.

"Life."

"Makes sense." she continued, "what do i do kai?"

"nothing, you wait for him to respond." he replied.

within a minute, soobin responded.

soob😻 thanks for the advice, yu.

yujin😊 aw, yw, soobin.

soob😻 you can call me 'soob' for short. can i call you 'yu' or 'jin' or

yujin😊 call me whatever you want

soob😻 okay, gonna change ur name now. wait what do you have me saved as. wanna save you as the same thing.

yujin😊 um i have you saved as soob😻 don't come at me

soob😻 aIright, saved

"what did he say?" kai asked bending over her shoulder to see her phone's screen.

"surprisingly, he didn't say anything, he just asked what i haved him saved as, so he can save me as the same thing."

"and...what do you have him saved as?" he questioned.

"uhm--"

taking yujin's phone, kai looked at the messages, and finally saw the contact name.

"really yujin?" he began, "soob with a cat with heart eyes emoji?"

"what? it's not bad, right?"

right.

#hwallswrld

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survivor-hosts · 7 years

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Ep. #7: “C’mon Rat, Follow the Cheese” - Jessy

The tribes merged and all of the pre-mergers were added to the merge tribe as the Karma Island twist was revealed. The players started campaigning to get back in and Cat, Austin, and Drew chose to drop out and become voters. After a whole day of scrambling and a messy voting situation, Connor was voted back into the game. The tribe was given their first immunity challenge and Matt was able to solve it and win immunity quite quickly. After no one talked the day before the vote, the players started scrambling last minute with one side trying to decide whether to vote off Sam or MJ while the opposing side was trying to decide between Allison or Connor. In the end, MJ and Sam's alliance threw their votes on Andrew to thwart any posisble idol play. Sam also used her vote negator to cancel Allison's vote for MJ. Andrew was sent home in a 5-4 vote.

HAHAHAHAHA so it's 9:58 and I should go to tribal and I was on call with Connah and then Lydia and MJ called and added Connah and MJ told me I might be getting votes so I might be getting voted out idk adios fuck this shit!

Can't wait to be seventh boot

[12:51:33 PM] mj ultra . _/: bih wtf. [12:51:39 PM] connah. i guess.: I didn't do anything. [12:51:40 PM] mj ultra . _/: oh you really wanna fight me tonight huh yes bitch i do. yes we are in a partnership but i'm not your bitch. i'm not gonna sit here and do everything you want but it's fine because people will hopefully see you as a bigger threat so if they gonna try take one of us out... can't say i'm too sorry about it. his ass wants to sit here and vote lydia back when we literally just voted her out? i see where he's coming from because we might be able to use lydia tbh but he's literally shutting down any ideas i had so i'm kinda angry rn.

mj's gameplay has really rubbed off on me... my ass just blindsided lydia and now i'm really down for voting her back in? i had my fun pre-merge but now it's time to really get this shit going

http://prntscr.com/fn4qxy http://prntscr.com/fn4r1v At first I thought Connor would have the highest chance of returning but after hearing a few things I think REGAN has the best shot??? When and how did that happen?

Hmmmmm I'm feeling really weird in this tribe. It's as if I don't belong.....That's the vibe I'm getting. Whatever. I'm sticking to my strategy of not talking to people. Hey it worked TWICE and got me to the end twice. It works. People come to me with information at once. I hope I can pull it off again.

so like I mighta just made a chat with myself Scott jessy Allison josh and Connor to save Connor bc David was a bust. Highkey still don't trust Scott and sam Matt mj and connah are trying for Lydia and I'm like no fuck off? When the phone battery goes down my chaotic gameplay goes up. Like idc whomstve is gonna be pissed i am GETTING Connor in this game. Drew and cat should have sacrificed themselves for him too so here's to fucking hoping. If Lydia comes in I'm dead straight up gay up!

push me to the edge i wish i was dead why is scott a snake scott u little snake push me to the edge i wish i was dead lydia im the wrong connor please stop making my life harder push me to the edge mask off, task off back off, mask off i dont really care that im crying but i really care that youre lying edge dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun mask off, task off

i have lost all my motivation. i am a shell of a man i used to be

i am fucked. if i somehow get out of this mess i got myself into it would be a miracle.

Okay it's time for my second confessional because it's getting really hard dealing with these people and I need to vent. Like I really cannot.

After the Lydia vote off succeeded I tried to do major damage control with Matt and Scott. They both seemed to understand but I know they don't trust me anymore. Iit's not like they even realistically did. Maybe Matt did, but his reaction really shows his game. Scott seems to think he can snake his way around the two alliances but I'll bring up that later in this confessional. Anyways, it's announced that Karma Island is in play and immediately I'm worried. I fell into a position where I had to lead on Connor, David and Regan all at once because I legitimately had no idea who I wanted to return. I received information from Scott that MJ was on call with Sam and Lydia. They were

[4:26:26 AM] Jessy: i have some tea ladies! [4:27:05 AM] Jessy: So Scott is playing both sides. [4:27:09 AM] Jessy: and MJ/Connah/Josh are too. [4:27:21 AM] Jessy: MJ wants me to stay so he can use me for next tribal to get Sam out.. [4:27:26 AM] Jessy: But sis he has another thing coming. [4:29:43 AM] Jessy: sam acts like a 4 year old [4:29:47 AM] Jessy: "jessy probs just wants all of us on jury bc we're the ppl who knew her pregame so we'd give her our jury votes" [4:29:52 AM] Jessy: she said this [4:29:57 AM] Jessy: like no i want u on prejury [4:29:58 AM] Jessy: zzksjksksks [4:42:41 AM] Jessy: mj and connah rlly think they're so smart huh [4:42:42 AM] Jessy: like ur not. [4:42:42 AM] Jessy: BKLMASDFMKLDSMKLA [4:42:46 AM] Jessy: i literally know what ur doing [4:43:03 AM] Jessy: this is ur mo mj... [4:43:05 AM] Jessy: ur forcing myself into a situation where i have to go w/ him b/c my numbers are cut. [4:44:25 AM] Jessy: Like I know he's pitting me against Samatthew by telling me this information [4:44:29 AM] Jessy: But like.. [4:44:37 AM] Jessy: Damn they're literally Spencer and Tasha [4:52:02 AM] Jessy: I'm reading their games to filth. [8:18:39 AM] Jessy: me again [8:21:05 AM] Jessy: God why'd i tell connor i heard his name [8:21:06 AM] Jessy: LSJLSSKKSKS [9:52:09 AM] Jessy: SCOTT IS SUCH A FUCKING LIAR [9:59:32 AM] Jessy: time to get reads [9:59:35 AM] Jessy: and intel! [9:59:41 AM] Jessy: im legit gonna interrogate him idc [10:01:03 AM] Jessy: Nancy Drew who???? [10:01:16 AM] Jessy: im GETTING the dirt. [10:01:24 AM] Jessy: spill the beans! [10:01:50 AM] Jessy: seeing Scott is typing... answering my questions is so funny [10:01:57 AM] Jessy: Like ur nervous huh sis [10:03:32 AM] Jessy: does scott really think ill eat the bullshit hes putting out for me on a platter rn? [10:03:37 AM] Jessy: Like bitch what the fuck LAKSKSKKSKS [10:08:25 AM] Jessy: OK SCOTT IS LYING OUT OF HIS ASS [10:08:29 AM] Jessy: IM SICK OF IT [10:08:35 AM] Jessy: HOW DOES MJ KNOW U WERE HIGH THEN [10:08:44 AM] Jessy: LIKE UGH !!! [10:09:53 AM] Jessy: ok sam could've told mj! [10:09:57 AM] Jessy: interesting! [10:14:37 AM] Jessy: mj and scott together ? conspiracy theory ? [10:18:18 AM] Jessy: Oh yeah, I also found out last night that josh did vote for Lydia, but Connah switched his vote from Lydia to Connor and Trevor wouldn't allow him to change it back [10:18:26 AM] Jessy: i thought sam was being distant huh scott [10:20:12 AM] Jessy: There's holes in this scheme. [10:22:32 AM] Jessy: "Same" [10:22:34 AM] Jessy: keh [10:22:51 AM] Jessy: guess i'm done here. [10:23:51 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I'm samatthew [10:24:27 AM] Jessy: theyre literally spencer and tasha [10:24:32 AM] Jessy: mj is a cheap version of jeremy [10:26:00 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Who are you [10:26:45 AM] Jessy: i wanna say kelley but i don't wanna be cocky like matt

This is a recap on what happened before the Karma Vote. One reason is so that I can look back on it and the other is for Connor to read in the future. This is 100% what happened. Lydia made her pitch to me around noon yesterday and she had made valid points and I wouldn't mind her being back but my vote is locked to Connor at that point though I was still willing to listen to her so I can get info out of her. I messaged Connah a little later and he said he was going to vote Lydia back in so I had an inkling that something's up but shrugged it off because there's no way Lydia's coming back it's just not in the numbers. I went to bed and woke up at 6am with a bunch of messages and one of them was Lydia asking to call. I told her I only woke up randomly and was planning on sleeping a little bit more. I didn't know the vote was due at 8 and I woke up 30 minutes before the deadline. Jessy messaged me asking if MJ had come up to me and asked if Lydia's being voted back in and I said no because MJ and I haven't talked yet. A little while, Andrew messaged me asking who to vote and I said Connor and then I got added to the Saving Connor chat with Scott, Jessy, Allison and Connor. What surprised me the most is why Scott is there. I didn't understand. Next, MJ messaged me asking for my vote so that we can tie between Lydia and Connor. Now the thing is, I told them I would vote whatever they want to but my vote is locked to Connor unless they absolutely needed it because they're the two people I trusted the most in this game. And they really did need it. I went on call with Connor and told him that everyone's pulling my leg getting me to vote with them and then got on call with Connah making his case to me with Lydia and Lydia's on my pms making her case again and Scott and I were trying to figure out how we're going to go and mind you this is literally 5 minutes before the deadline and at that point everyone thought we could change votes. I was freaking out everyone was talking to me at the same time I felt very pressured that I just asked Scott to make a decision for me and he won't decide for me and Connah just started to tell me VOTE LYDIA VOTE LYDIA and without hesitation I changed. Now obviously that didn't fall through because Connor came back and he found out I changed my vote. Now he doesn't want to speak to me and probably burned my bridge with him and idk about the status of our friendship right now. I spilled so much critical information on Connor and if we went our separate ways and uses those against me then I'm fucked. I mentioned to Connor how I wanted to target Jessy because of how good she is and if that gets back to her than she's going to turn on me. My hope is that MJ, Sam, Scott, Connah and Matt form a 6 person alliance to get past this round. This game is taking a toll on me emotionally and I've been struggling to play since the first few days. I wasn't like this before. It isn't worth it. It's not worth it to lose a friendship over this. It's easy to say that you need to cut ties and turn the heart off but doing it for real is different. Connor, my explanation is probably something you did not want to hear and it's probably going to re-open wounds once this game is over because looking back on it now, the decision was stupid. It didn't have to be that way but I gave in because of pressure.

Honestly.... I just feel so defeated. I don't see myself really doing as great as I would have wanted to in this game, which is such a pessimistic way to think but its true. Like if I were to be going home tomorrow I wouldn't even care that I didn't make the jury. A lot just went down these past few days that made me realize why I retired in the first place. So to really go back, Lydia was blindsided. Not surprised that it happened cause I knew something fishy was going on, but surprised that out of everyone I was the most left out of the loop. Like no one bothered to tell me that the vote was getting split between Allison and Andrew. Like when Lydia left Jessy and Andrew had me on call and explained everything to me and why they did what they did. And like I'm really not mad at them for doing so. I think it was amazing on their part that they pulled it off. They told me how MJ and Connah were really wanting to get Lydia out, which caught me by surprise cause I thought they were really close. Afterwards, Sam gets me on call and is worried about what could happen in the future and who we have with us. And to my surprise, Matt Summers actually talked strategy with me for the first time. The story I got from them was that Jessy approached them and got them involved with voting Lydia. To make matters worse, we have to vote someone back into this game thanks to Karma Island. And I feel like this is gonna make things so much worse cause I'm starting to realize I only have myself in this game. Idk like in Maluku flipping was easy cause I had Maria and Mattica who I trusted more than anyone. I don't really trust anyone in this game, so it makes everything 10x worse. Connor talked to me and told me he doesn't hold that against me, and idk part of me really thinks if he IS going to come back, I need to vote him so I can prove to him that I can be someone he can actually work with later on. Especially with MJ/Connah/Sam/Matt being a sinking ship, I just feel like I need to find other resources when I need to. Plus the only person I trust in that group is Sam, and after hearing that MJ has wanted me out of this game for awhile now I don't see why I need to stick my neck out for them. That whole voting process was such a mess because I really didn't know what to do with all of that. Like I voted for Connor cause I was sure he was getting in, then Josh comes to me and says he didn't know what to do. Which like RIP cause I thought he already voted, and to make matter worse he told lydia and lydia went off on me in the pms. And like, the fact that this all went down when I was out with friends just made me realize that I'm too invested in this game and that I left for a reason. Idk the only reason why Connor is back is because Connah changed his vote and wasnt allowed to switch back. I'm just annoyed cause I'm really fucked in this game to the point of no return. And like Sam and them are trying to make sure I'm gonna vote with them but with Lydia out and the only person on that side i actually consider an ally being Sam, it just makes sense for me to go through with what I've been wanting to do for awhile and flip with Jessy and Andrew.

"fifth vote... lydia"

youtube

what the fuck is going on why is no one talking to me. fucking hell man, and then im gonna wake up again and have a shit ton of messages waiting for me when i check my phone. everything's happening at the very last minute in this game omg.

YALL TRIBAL IS 11 HOURS AWAY I DONT KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO AND IM GONNA BE ASLEEP IN 9 OF THOSE HOURS. FUCK IT.

you know how it'd be fun if i just go ghost the whole morning tomorrow lkfjskjdfhskjfs *deletes Skype*

OKA Y BUT S ERIOUSLY im sick and tired of waking up in the morning where a plan has already been made and i have no say in it. fuck it a guy needs his sleep its yalls fault for not making a plan during our off day ! btw if i get voted out tomorrow im gonna be salty af trevor why did you have to have the first merge boot not a jury member i dont want to miss out on JURY! !!!!!

everyone is getting on my god damn nerves TODAY !

On 25/06/2017, at 8:30 PM, connor wrote: > hi background music plays: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpLU8BI02wQ

Okay so I just laid out all the info I got today. I talked to Scott this morning I said does he know for sure Sam has a vote negator or is it a hunch? He said it was a hunch and he doesn't really know, so I got sus. He was high last night so maybe he let it slip MJ told me that Scott was high last night so I wanted to find a way to vertify what he said about Scott/Sam/Matt/MJ/Connah being all on a group call [6/24/2017 10:09:30 AM] Jessy: did you tell anyone you were high LMAOOOOO i'd be so non functional if i was high and game talking [6/24/2017 10:09:40 AM] Scott: I mean I told sam It's possible that Scott is either lying about him telling Sam specifically, or Sam just told MJ that Scott was high and he happened to tell me this He said this when I asked him about the Sam call: [6/24/2017 9:51:38 AM] Jessy: did anything important come out of the sam call [6/24/2017 9:51:58 AM] Scott: Honestly it just made me realize that she doesn't trust me [6/24/2017 9:52:17 AM] Jessy: fuck! [6/24/2017 9:52:25 AM] Scott: She asked me what my relationship was with you [6/24/2017 9:53:05 AM] Scott: And if I actually trusted you cause you're known to be deceiving for "organizing the whole Lydia vote and misting MJ/Connah" [6/24/2017 9:53:48 AM] Jessy: :$ would be me if i actually did! [6/24/2017 9:54:07 AM] Jessy: r they voting me [6/24/2017 9:54:25 AM] Scott: I mean we never got around to actually talking about it [6/24/2017 9:54:32 AM] Jessy: oh okay [6/24/2017 9:54:39 AM] Jessy: who do you think she would go for [6/24/2017 9:55:32 AM] Scott: But I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they were wanting to do cause sam really just kept mentioning how I felt about you [6/24/2017 9:57:03 AM] Jessy: that's offputtig [6/24/2017 9:57:08 AM] Jessy: *offputting [6/24/2017 9:58:02 AM] Scott: Yeah, but it's just really clear that damage was done last night so I'm not even sure what's gonna be happening from here on out It made me think that I'm unsure if Scott is just lying about the call or if MJ is just trying to come up with a scenario for me to think is happening so I won't pull any moves. Then, I talked to MJ about the vote and he said that he was going to be on a road trip today so he's probably asleep by now. I talked to Connah about the game while MJ was online and while we were talking about the whole thing of us being on different sides, MJ pmed me. He said he pmed me because Connah sent him a funny quote about a joke I made. Then, I asked him if Connah sent him any game logs. The game logs were about us being on different sides in the Lydia/Connor returnee vote and then he kept on acting like he didn't know who was going to go because no one was talking to him. I asked him if Sam would be a vote he would want, and he said it depends if we have the numbers. He said I have to convince Allison+Andrew+Connor myself because he doesn't want to get himself involved in something controversial this tribal council after last round. I asked MJ about this, and he said Connah specifically said: "idk if I wanna stick with jessy or go with sam" "like I'm just confused" This made me paranoid, because I didn't know if Connah meant "stick with jessy" as a vote or "go with sam" as a vote. It's possible that MJ made it look like he meant regarding alliances and not a vote off, but it still made me paranoid. MJ then told me Connah went on call with Sam. MJ said he asked Connah what was going on and they were just talking about who they wanted to go. MJ said they both leaned towards Connor leaving. MJ then said Connah thought he should go with Sam (as in alliances). MJ said he would try to convince him to "string me along" next round and use me to vote Sam off. MJ then said if Sam convinced Connah to vote for me, he would try to convince him to go after Sam this round. MJ said he would prefer Connor to go now and Sam next round, but he's willing to consider it by starting it off with a conversation with Connah tomorrow. Our conversation ended, and I thought that I should try to message Sam in some way and let her know that I'm "flexible". I then said that people probably think we aren't together in the game and we could play that to our advantage. She said she was down if I was, but proceeding this she kept on saying she didn't know what she wanted to do and that "she has no power to throw out a name." This really annoyed me so I asked her who does and she said she doesn't know. Our conversation ended, but during it Connah messaged me asking me if I'm talking to anyone because it's really quiet. I was feeling a vibe that Sam told Connah she was talking to me, so I told him I was trying to resolve my issues with Sam. It got awkward so our conversation kinda died off. During all this, Andrew, Allison and Connor didn't have a lot to say about anything. Connor said he was at work all day and came back at 10 PM EDT and said sorry he was at work. I said it was okay then asked him if he talked to Josh recently. He never replied and then I asked him again an hour later and still received no reply. Now, Scott says he's back and is messaging my alliance chat with himself and Andrew. I haven't talked to Matt at all this vote. I said hey to Allison in pms but she never replied because I'm pretty sure she's been offline. I haven't talked to Josh either, but I have an opportunity to tonight because it's 2 PM for him in Phillippines.

Decisions, decisions.... I hate my position in this game as the "middle man" Anyways, Jessy/Andrew I think are expecting me to flip and vote Sam with them this round, but tbh I don't think I can flip on Sam and vote her out. Like if she goes, I don't want to be apart of that just because she trusts me a lot with her game. However, if they can manage to get her out this round I'm all theirs. Sam/MJ and co. said they want to do Allison, and because I don't trust Allison i think it might be safest for me to just vote her out and only flip if they're wanting to vote out Jessy/Andrew. Also spoke on call with Connor and hes trying to convince me to flip. The only way I see myself voting with them is if they vote MJ. But I just don't think that is realistic since Jessy is set on voting Sam. Which I personally cannot do since she is the only one I trust on that other side. Idk its all very up in the air, hopefully it isnt me that goes

9wegwpirangwfj tribals in an hour and a half and I really don't know what I'm gonna do. Apparently Josh would be okay with voting out MJ but I'm not sure if he really would. Part of me is thinking I should just vote Allison and if it ties, then I flip cause I don't wanna be rocked out pre-jury, especially since the only person I trust on Sam and Co side is Sam. I just know this is gonna be one huge clusterfuck

So.... much.... stress.... Josh and I agreed on just voting with the separate blocks, but I forgot that Sam has a vote negator so now I have to decide if I'm actually gonna go through with that plan or just flip and vote MJ. hregehgoihiqrehie I HATE THIS GAME

This game? Is crazy. I want to die. Somehow, through almost FIVE HOURS of acumalitive calls, I have managed to flip Josh and Scott so that we have majority. MJ SHOULD be going home. I literally did that. Like, i LITERALLY did THAT. Good god. Fingers crossed. It just makes sense? With MJ being a winner already and very good at flipping votes and winning challenges, we have the time to take him out so lets do it. Sam would be easier to vote out and I know Jessy wanted to, but with Matt having another idol and being immune, the two of them are too close for comfort. Actually, this entire game is too close for comfort. end my life.

why am i in the middle. i mean i guess i should count my blessings because i'm not getting voted out but this is such a hard position to be in

#torchsnuffers

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survivorbahamas · 7 years

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EPISODE FOUR: “FUCK WITH ME AND YOU’RE DEAD” - ADRIAN

Remember how I said that Adrian thinking Brian is Heidik is good for my game? Well that's entirely true! Brian and I had talked a little bit before, but it hadn't been anything good. However, once this Heidik inside joke came up, we started having some great conversations. We're pretty similar actually, which is incredible. We both like working with people who we like rather than people we can beat. There's also a bunch of real life similarities, and we get along pretty well. We're both REALLY enjoying Adrian's gullibility, which is a huge plus. He shared his google doc of possible idol locations with me to fill out a little bit more, and I discovered that Kai is the other person on the doc. Excellent!!! I love my position on this tribe. He also let me in on the Chris vote and what exactly happened. I just assumed 4 people came together to blindside Chris, but in reality, it was a 3 person thing with Jaiden at the center. Jaiden had a Chaos idol, which made it so that the person with the least votes would be voted out. If it was a tie, then there would be a rock draw. Brian played his "secret tribal" advantage which made Jaiden safe from having everyone know that he was the one who screwed our tribe over, and Brian voted for me due to Jaiden's suggestion to keep me safe. Alledgedly. I can't imagine Jaiden wanting to keep me safe, but I can tolerate Brian having lied to me. It's a perfectly logical lie to tell, but I'd think Jaiden would rather protect himself than me. Jaiden is playing super fucking hard, and I think it's really funny. I'd like to keep him around, because he's a massive target when the merge hits, just because people don't want irrational people in power.

i'm hungry too

I'm feeling in a good position in this tribe.. me and Brian are definitely in some form of power postion because we've been talking to two pairs of people so..feeling good

I'm a paranoid mess I swear I thought I was gonna get blindsided so I would have to play my idol when the voted ended up being unanimous lmao. I do feel horrible for Mitch tho but I wish him the best ❤ But now my lil alliance with Lily and Nicholas and Dana has control so hopefully we are all mergees wee woo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PMntAfl2Ag&feature=youtu.be

hola long time no see! whew so our tribe just voted out mitch and i feel bad because he was such a nice king. i dont really care that he voted for me bc i never really put in the effort to talk to him! either way i am in a GREAT position right now. i have zach and jenna who will do whatever i say. and i also have queen lily who is my #1 in this game and is such a loyal ally and such a good person to include me in an alliance with her, willa and dana! something that will make sure i know about willa's idol plans and i can choose what info to leak to jenna and zach to make sure my targets go home. i am pretty close with gage too so i doubt he would target me either! life is pretty good right now and i put in some effort to help with immunity and i should be good this round no matter what happens!

so idk what's happening in this game and who's with who because we really haven't gone to tribal recently. i'm in two alliances that consider to be the majority so i think i'm safe if it does come down to it. jaiden is really far up my ass so if he hears anything about my name being thrown around he'll make sure i don't go, love that kid. but anyways hopefully we can win immunity and hopefully merge is soon idk how survivor works but all i know is that i have friends on the other tribe who won't go against meh!

Honestly, I hate the tumblr tags challenge. Because everyone is like "idk how to use tumblr." Like bitches, it is NOT hard pls. Then everyone else is like "haha this is so funny," and i'm like pls I am the last great king of comedy, this is dumb as fuck. But whatever, judges are judgin right now and hopefully things are workin out in our favor because shit do I have some thoughts on how our next vote might go down. Last night we voted Mitch, which was lowkey kind of easy because he said he would self-vote/ might have to leave because he was vv sick. So everyone kind of came together on that. I talked to Jenna for the first time and she just asked me, BLUNTLY might I add, who the target was. Now I said idk, even though I knew it was Mitch. Then she came to me and was like, I'm hearin Mitch so I was like "ya just heard that," which was like 1/2 tru. I was wondering where she heard that, but initially didn't really think about it. So everything worked out fine last night and me and my hidden immunity idol child were safe. Tribe chat rn has me SHOOK though. Because I'm starting to realize that not only is Jenna close with Zach, she is close to Nick too. For some reason Nick knows her ex GF's name? Which is S K E T C H. anyway they are closer than I initially thought. Well i'm not dumb, so things are starting to come together. Nick probably told Jenna that Mitch was the target first before/ while she was talking to me. Now this gets complicated, because Willa, Nick, Lily, and I are in an "alliance." Last night before we solidified on Mitch this is what happened in the alliance chat. [5/30/17, 6:36:22 PM] Lily Douma: Zach is awesome. I would love to have Zach around. I'm concerned about a certain duo (Jenna and Zach) so Jenna might be a good call for this vote. But I'm fine with Mitch too cause it might be hard for him to be active in our tribe considering the pneumonia [5/30/17, 6:37:34 PM] WillagonMasuta: I'd feel bad for voting Mitch out but perhaps it's for the best for both him and us. However i think Jenna is certainly more threatening [5/30/17, 6:39:17 PM] Lily Douma: That's true. This sounds like such a bad breakup [5/30/17, 6:44:12 PM] Lily Douma: I agree. I'm totally down to vote for Mitch but likeeee I also feel like we might regret not taking Jenna out when we could have. Ughhh [5/30/17, 6:47:16 PM] WillagonMasuta: You down to vote Jenna then? [5/30/17, 6:50:44 PM] nicholas [sinnoh host]: hi guys I’m home! [5/30/17, 6:51:01 PM] Dana Barry: Ah fuck sorry i was nappin! Im here [5/30/17, 7:00:38 PM] Dana Barry: So what's the plan? I probably have to vote soon because my friend and her bf just broke up and i need to go help her handle her life [5/30/17, 7:02:03 PM] nicholas [sinnoh host]: whew ok id prefer to vote mitch bc he seems like more of a comp threat later on down the line but if i am the only one who wants to vote mitch i will do whatever yall legends want [5/30/17, 7:08:08 PM] Dana Barry: Do we know if Jenna and Zach are planning on voting Mitch? [5/30/17, 7:08:29 PM] nicholas [sinnoh host]: yeah i think so [5/30/17, 7:09:36 PM] Dana Barry: Ok I haven’t talked to Zach about it, but it seemed Jenna was so maybe there is more security in sticking with Mitch? (in case Gage finds his way back here in like 2 hrs?) But hoenstly doesnt matter to me! Two things about Nick in this conversation stand out to me, and I'm kind of just realizing this today as I read it back, which I only did because I was thrown off by them talking in tribe chat. 1) Nick says he would prefer Mitch to Jenna. Ok, innocent enough if you don't know that Nick and Jenna are pals and Nick is probs keepin her around so he can work with her now or later. 2) When I ask if we know how Jenna and Zach are planning to vote, Nick responds saying he thinks they are voting Mitch also, letting us all know he's been talking to either one or both of them. Alright, so now we get to the part of this confessional where we talk about how this impacts miss me, the queen of this shady tribe. Nick is untrustworthy at this point. He could be in my current alliance, but also likely has one with Jenna and Zach. Idc if he even does or not, im operating under that assumption moving forward. This means: 1) I am going to be vague as fuck (as I already have been) in the alliance chat. I throw out no names, pretend to pop in last minute etc. This way if Nick is feeding info, it's not anything coming from my mouth. 2) Talk to Gage more. Gage is one of the people on my tribe i've talked to the most. He isn't in my "alliance," but he made it clear he wants to work with me. I need him in case Nick isn't being loyal. That still gives me 4-3 advantage if Nick flips. 3) Talk to Nick 1-1. The best way I can stay informed here is by getting close with Nick. That way I gain access to some info he has. I might even spill one of my idol clues to him if I feel like that would solidify trust. I will make him want to be my closest ally. This way he will feel like i'm working with him, not our alliance, which can only benefit me. 4) Get closer with Zach and Jenna. Be as honest as possible with them. This way if they know about the "alliance" from Nick, they know i'm still a free agent of sorts. 5) Get ready to make a move and be problematique if necessary. I can't go forward in this game with a 2-3 person group that is this close. IF they get to the merge, and join up with Julia, who we already know Zach is friends with, and Jaiden (who is friends with Julia, debatable?), that could really fuck things up for me. Even though I will be re-joining Bodhi if I get that far. This is why i need Gage. Because i don't want to cause suspicion around myself by doubting Nick's trust in front of Willa or Lily. If they don't catch on to Nick's other connections, they might accidentally say the wrong thing and seal their fate. By avoiding saying the wrong things myself, one of them can take the bullet for me. But I also could pull Gage, Willa, and Lily together to make a move if I had to. That would need to be a VERY last minute move to avoid giving people time to go talk about it without me, but I'm ready to do it in order to break up this group if I have to. Finally, I got a 10% disadvantage when looking for the hidden immunity idol. I know, WHY WOULDN'T THIS HAPPEN TO ME. Like I've said, i'm going to need an immunity idol per round to make it through this game alive. I decided (I think) that i'm just going to be up front with my tribe and tell them about the disadvantage to build trust. I'd rather them hear it from me than the hosts. If we win this challenge, i'll tell them right away. If not, i'll tell them right after tribal (assuming I make it past the vote) and just doctor the times on my "quoted" messages with Logan to make it look like I looked right before our tribal, that way it doesn't factor into me potentially going home. I know- genius. Hopefully we win immunity though i got my doubts! Time to go initiate conversation with Nick!

i feel like i did 99% of the work on this but it's actually ok bc i love tumblr and my blog has had a solid 250 followers since 2011 so i have blog experience™

I don't know what I'm going to do. Jaiden fucked up the challenge, even if nobody talked but I think he did most of it so... but Adrian hates me and Brian is sketchy to me. Bodhi is annoying.

Tonight, I think something big is gonna happen. I hope I don't have to whip out my sapphire idol because who KNOWS what's really going to happen. All I know for sure is that the vote is between Adrian and Brian, I think... Brian was gunning for Adrian, while Rob might be gunning for Brian. Who knows what's going to happen, honestly. Brian has the clue to the idol so I'm not really sure if he's found it yet or if he's even shared it with anyone else. He promised he would send it to me when he received it but then never actually sent it, so it's obviously a huge concern that he's going to nab it before we have the chance to blindside him. It's weird how quiet he's being today and I just have this suspicion that he's coming after me, which is incredibly ugly. Kai hasn't talked to me much either. As it stands, Julia and I are the flip votes for tonight's tribal council. Bodhi, Kai, and Brian on one side, then Adrian and Rob on the other. I don't really trust the former, but Adrian is quite annoying and I wouldn't mind seeing him go either... We'll have to wait and see. The decision Julia and I will make must be made as soon as possible because I'm extremely scared on what will happen if we mess this up...

But here's another thing. I think Brian would be expecting us to vote him out this round. Theres nothing I can do if he already has the immunity idol except hope for a swap after tonight and I don't have to worry about him coming after me with it in his possession. So why don't we go for someone else that no one would expect? I don't trust Kai as far as I can throw him and I already have a feeling that he's a catfish. It's just so unlikely that, under the circumstances, this total newbie is gonna sign up and play this game. I don't trust him. Maybe instead of Brian, it'll be Kai. We'll see. All I know is that I might have a lot more control over my alliance than they think.

I'm kind of glad we lost this challenge because it means we can get rid of the person on the bottom and hopefully things will get more interesting!

Why did rob have to leave he was my best friend.

so rob walked and im kinda upset by it because me him and jaiden we're rly close but i think me and jaiden will be able to survive without him. from what i heard, ive gotten the best time on the puzzle and im hoping that even if we do go to tribal these men wont want to vote me out. i think im in a good position on my tribe and when merge happens ill be in an even BETTER position. hopefully i can keep on floating by and everyone will think im an idiot B)

So I guess tribal got cancelled. In every ORG, there's always someone who goes home because they didn't do the challenges or they decided to leave for personal reasons. Quits are profoundly different than a medical evacuation because its the decision to leave over something you feel hinders your ability to continue playing... I should know. Rob quit today, and sometimes you see it coming from a mile away. Sometimes it hits you like a train, and that's how it felt to see that he left. Rob is one of my good friends outside of this and of course I set into immediate panic mode that something is wrong with someone I care about. I'm still panicking. I don't know what came about him today to make him choose to leave but I hope it's something he can deal with... I worry too much about these things. I don't want anything to be wrong with him. Although this is a game, you're still surrounded by people you know and likely have some level of feeling towards. It just so happens I was put in this game with a close friend of mine, and now he's gone. He didn't get voted out. He took himself out of the game. I've been in that position before where I've wanted to leave and tell no one, and when its for something personal like he says, I am brought back to those dark places I've been where leaving was the only option I had. To even think that he's going through anything remotely similar to what I went through is heartbreaking... I shouldn't be confessing this but I am. I care about Rob. I hope he's okay. I need to pick myself up and not dwell on something I have no control over because the game is still afoot and no one else needs time to think about what they could've done to change his mind. Maybe it was for the better for him. These games mean nothing when your real life is being played with... I wish I could've understood that a lot earlier than I do now. If I can still press on, I'm going to always tell myself that this was for Rob. I hope I make him, and everyone else who believes in me, proud.

So I'm really happy with how the last round went down. I was about to be booted off by some idiot that thought it would be funny to pull. But in the end- Rob spared me from elimination. Only providing me more time to concoct a plan to get rid of Brian in the days to come xoxo Fuck with me and you're dead. Bitch.

If we win this with a half hungover tribe with a 10% disadvantage then I will probably die. Fortunately going to tribal is no big deal since Jenna can just go, I think she's hilarious but shes a threat not aligned with me so buh bye.

AAAANNDDD WE'RE BACK! Working on the puzzle challenge right now with my 10% disadvantage. I got 4:32 right now, which goes up to 4:59 with the disadvantage. And here I was, thinking that my score would certainly be the worst. BUT NO. Because Jenna got 6:19, which isn't good, and says she can't do it again. How am I over a minute faster than someone WHEN I HAVE A DISADVANTAGE. That literally SHOULD NOT happen. I just want us to win so I don't have to think about tribal. It's also funny as fuck because I told my tribe about the disadvantage, and they're actin like i'm really facing a lot of adversity and they keep cheering me on. Like I don't give a fuck about what this disadvantage means for me personally, i'm not even sad about it, I just didn't want my tribe to think I was dishonest so I was upfront about it. Also my plan to get close to Nick is like vaguely working. I think i'm going to drop him an idol clue if we lose this challenge. Gage and I are getting closer too. He sent me this last night, which is what he got when he went to exile: [6/2/17, 12:38:46 AM] Gage :): Hello I want you to have this [6/2/17, 12:38:49 AM] Gage :): While in the triangle you find a rolled up piece of paper. You wait till you get back to open it, and it says this: missing just like you, look to the flight with more than 2 You are searching for a password to enter into this password protected blog: https://survivorbahamasidol.tumblr.com/ And when I got this message I was like FUCK YA, i'm goin to start looking for that idol, except then the hosts told me I can't soooo basically Gage's information is of no use to me. But it does show me that there is some trust there. Hopefully I'll get exiled because I got some ideas on how I could decipher this clue.

I'm sorry for not writing sooner. I suck. I know. A lot has happened. I have an alliance on my new tribe at Isabella (not fixing that I'm on mobile...typical). It consists of me Nicholas, Willa, and Dana. I think this is the best for me. I love Zach but he has badly betrayed me before and keeping my tribe stronger and snagging Dana on the side is really the best option. Jenna is clearly a major threat. She is great in a lot of the more creative challenges. I hope that after this vote Zach will still want to vote with Nicholas and I and just understand how much of a threat Jenna was. This is a tough and terrible vote. Very unexpected compared to the last vote for Mitch. Mitch was an easy vote. Very sad because I miss Mitch and I hope he is doing better! But everyone agreed it was best for the tribe moving forward. And I'm not sure if voting Jenna is the best decision but I think it will at least help me for a while. It might be a big risk but sometimes that's what pays off. I'm off to Grand Rapids and have a busy day tomorrow so hopefully I don't fuck up another challenge. I feel like I'm always just not as good at some of these challenges but at least I'm still trying and not sitting out. I'm having a blast meeting so many amazing people again this game. Can't wait to see what happens next because I can sense a merge.

I'm in a good spot on my tribe, and I don't want to overplay. As a result, this pre-merge is becoming incredibly boring. I'm at least a little close with pretty much everyone on the tribe. I've got Dana as a super close ally on the other tribe. If everything comes together just right, Kai's allies on the other tribe are working with Dana, and he + Brian can reunite with their old friends, bringing me along, and not realizing that Dana and I are going to consume them all. But for now I just wait for my tribe to lose immunity or something like that to happen.

Me? Going missing? It's more likely than you think.

i hope the frick its merge soon! i love everyone left on our tribe and if we dont merge soon im going to literally go ape shit if i have to vote off either lily, dana or willa or zach! > : (

how DARE THEY use the time while i have sex to PLOT AGAINST ME ! lily? dana? jokes on #you bc i have a #votesteal and #nicholasismydad and #zachismyson . that's 4 votes sweetie :*

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