#im so unhappy. my dad reminded me of it bc i guess he forgot i told him i quit it two weeks ago

[creatediana]

"John Donne" - a charcoal imitation of the 1622 Portrait of John Donne at the age of 49 by an unknown artist, drawn 2/26/2024

This is a purposefully rough work; I hadn't drawn a single thing in two weeks since giving up on a personal and difficult drawing I had worked on during January-February. This was done in about 30-to-40 minutes with just willow charcoal; no pencils and very minimal erasing, so somebody doesn't get the privilege of defined eyelids.

[ufolvr]

im sorry to hear youre feeling anxious! i was looking through your f/o list and i actually dont really know that much about them ^^; it would interesting if you could pick one and share more about them cause im curious about all of them, but you dont got to talk about every single one if you dont wanna! you can message me about them if you want to also bro idc (also fdsjhsdafsa your art is hella fucking good what the he ll??)

(*cries v v hard bc of the art thing*)kskakak ur so sweet oml,,, ok here goes Me being very gay and bad at my job of answering asks So like,,, lets talk abt Bucky (rc9gn) bc he's the main bf and I love him very very much,,(This is mostly a "how I Started to love him" thing sorry its not,,, exactly what u asked ,, ,, its just me rambling)The fun thing abt this one is that,, when I first watched this show (I was like 11 lmao) I found him kinda weird n ngl somehow gross?? Like,,, what's this awful dork doing here. I Already got a small crush on him back then but I buried it v deep and focused on the kinda attractive main character ,,,,I forgot abt this show for a long, long time but like,, even when I started watching it again he didn't shine as much like. Ok he's cute, nice I like him. That was it for a whileThen I started dating a boy who was SO, SO similar to Bucky that most of the people that I showed him to and that know my ex told me they look extremely similar And it's true,,, he's a pun lover dork and tries his darn best to b funny but he fails miserably and while most people seem to b annoyed by that I honestly find it really really charming??? ?? Like,,, he looks like he's the kinda guy who would try his best to make you happy and who would always be there for you, ,,At first I selfshipped w him as a joke w my fursona (kirie) back in April but it slowly started to develop into a deeper thing and I legit fell in love w the dork oh no,, As I mentioned before I was.,,, dating a boy when I realized I liked Bucky. We slowly started drifting apart and I held onto this dork w even more strength bc at that point I was just making up a better relationship that my actual, irl one so I could,,,, b happy We broke up and I was like. That's it. My 'bf' is Gone and now I might stop having a crush on Bucky bc I basically only like him bc he reminded me of my ex.I was,, extremely wrong?????? ??? Like,,, yes he's v similar to that boy but he,, means a lot more to me?? What am I doing.Anyways fast forward to July,,, I started dating another guy (online this time) and even tho he could b sweet I,,, still wasn't happy w him. All the while I was,, still selfshipping w kirie (FUN FACT every time I sent him a pic of Bucky x Kirie and he said 'that's us' I felt grossed out bc like no,,, that's my own thing don't do that. I didn't like him v much can u tell?)He's 18 and had Just started college so he said he'd be away for a while (mid September-ish, if I remember correctly.) and I understood like yeah take ur time.And yet again I found myself lost and only having Bucky to give me love and support. Spoilers that one didn't come back and it was,,, mid October when I broke up w him and blocked him (and started a new relationship but that's not. Important rn,,) and self insert made me realize that situation was not ok bc I was only receiving love from a fictional character so far. That was v creepy (keep in mind he,, left in august. As I had just came out to my dad, I guess. I needed support and he wasn't there. Bucky was tho, and that was v v v great.)Anyways,,, through this year, Bucky has been a huge help w relationships I was unhappy with. Even if it was just Kirie, I felt appreciated and loved. By someone I actually liked.I eventually made a rc9gn oc bc I was tired of Kirie getting all the love lmao,,,, Bucky's a really important part of me loving myself because he's happy with who he is and what he likes, he's himself and nothing can stop him from doing stuff he loves. He's outgoing and lovely and like,,, if he can love me then I deserve to b happy.He's,,, he's just very important to me bc he's there when I need to b lifted outta my shitty moods and when I need reassurance,,,,, ,,,,, he's my favorite dork and I love him,,,, ,,, very much This year has been kinda rough and I've been dealing w depression and anxiety but at least I,,,, had him to turn to when I felt alone. Thinking abt his awful jokes or his dorky smile is like,,, some of the things that keep me going bc if he supports me I can go on,,,❤