#that last thing i was drawing... oh im mad and upset like crazy again even thinking about it!!! so im not gonna talk abt!!!

[creatediana]

"John Donne" - a charcoal imitation of the 1622 Portrait of John Donne at the age of 49 by an unknown artist, drawn 2/26/2024

This is a purposefully rough work; I hadn't drawn a single thing in two weeks since giving up on a personal and difficult drawing I had worked on during January-February. This was done in about 30-to-40 minutes with just willow charcoal; no pencils and very minimal erasing, so somebody doesn't get the privilege of defined eyelids.

[doxiedreg]

Me: Okay brain, let's work on this new ref for rechor and not start working on something random again to avoid it like last time Brain: Okay but what if instead of working on this ref I am going to draw/work on a bunch of other refs :)c Me: don't you da- My brain:

Me: ... I swear to god wasn't that like much more work than finishing this one ref for rechor? My brain: But character (re)design brainworms too strong. Need to do lots of things at the same time ANyway so yeah. Have a fun sneakpeak of wips my tumblr friends and followers. From top to bottom we have: Rechor ref 3.0 because his current one is from 2020 and I hate it, it's such a cluttered mess. Moonshine gang that I started around 7 pm and finished at 12 am because brain crazy. I need more gangs for Auro city so I can actually like depict and explore thorn's relationships with the gangs he rules over. This gang is on pretty good terms with thorn. The only other gang i have right now is the hydra gang who acts like they are trustworthy and on very good terms with thorn but in reality the hydra patriarch hates thorn and is secretly conspiring against him. Oh and there is the biker gang who are anarchists and kill the rich and such but they don't really interact with thorn in his crime boss persona because they don't really do big scheme crimes. Mostly petty crimes, vandalism and causing general trouble and being contrarian. So yeah, need to make more gangs and probably design more characters. (moonshine gang is all characters i have adopted in the past except for dolf who is an old adopt i made but decided to keep) Next we have vampire demon lord thorn AU. There is this comic I follow on instagram called beltoria and it really inspired me to make a vampire au version of thorn. This thorn is very much not dad shaped and much more hostile and bitter than canon thorn. it's almost 1 am so i cant really articulate how more messed up he is but yeah there is a lot of angst in this au.

Next there is Rechor's basilisk form! (with bonus ollie who belongs to @blaigoo for shits and giggles because they are friends and blaigoo mentioned ollie would want to ride rechor's basilisk form if she were to see it lmao) this one im not too mad about my brain for working on it as it's the second part of rechor's ref. Rechor's snake form is about the size of a titanoboa so yeah, big cobra boy. He doesn't use this form super often though, he prefers having arms and legs. And finally we have a ref of grin! He has gone through a lot of changes personality wise since his first conception back on colors!3D. When I first made him he was an edgy demon dragon that was insane and highly aggressive and laughed maniacally and all that crap. But now he is just an innocent lil guy who happens to have gone through a lot of trauma and only killed people in the past when escaping his prison and defending his later adoptive brother from suffering the same fate as him. He still has traumatic episodes but more often than not he is more of a danger to himself than to others when in this state. It takes specific triggers (medical environments, seeing and/or smelling scientists/doctors, labratories, needles, feeling like he is in danger of dying or suffering immense pain) to make him go into a demon frenzy aka murder mode but soon after being removed from the triggering environment and being given a calm and safe place to cool down he will return to normal all be it very tired and upset. Grin does not enjoy hurting or killing people, he much rather would draw crayon drawings of his friends and family or having stories read to him or playing with plush and squeaky toys. Because he was kidnapped as a small child and placed in isolation before getting horrible experiments done on him, he is mentally still a small kid, even if he is a young adult physically. His adoptive brother thorn and beck treat him with a lot of love and patience and care, making sure he is comfortable and feels safe and happy.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Breaking Friendships

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Exactly how much does Tom truly love Y/N to let her win at Uno?

A/N: Let me know if you want to be in the Taglist for TSOL or Quarantine Series!

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses |

It was Day Who-The-Bloody-Hell-Knows in Quarantine at Holland Home, and this time our favorite household members decided to focus on their own activities except for one.

Tom and Harry were busy working on their script, while Y/N was catching up on the shows her friends were begging her to watch. As for his best friend Harrison, he was completely bored out of his mind that no amount of filming crazy instagram videos could suffice the boredom. That is until he suggested a simple yet deadly game that everyone could ply. A game that could break all friendships and relationship. A game that goes by the name UNO. 

“Come on lads, and lady lad. One game, just one game.” Harrison pleaded.

Tom, Harry, and Y/N, looked at him with concern. Sure the three of them understood how bored he was, but Uno always seemed like a game only younger kids would get into. Then again, they did spend the first few months in Quarantine playing jigsaw wars. With time the group reluctantly gave in and sat around the table. Tom was on the left, Harry was on the right, while Harrison sat directly across from Y/N. Harrison shuffled and split the cards, explaining the rules. “Okay, so the rules are simple but I wanted to make it more interesting. Every time you place a 0, everyone has to give their set of cards to the person on their left. If you place a 7, you can switch your deck with anyone. One more thing, if you have cards that say draw 2 or 4, you can pile them to avoid drawing cards. Got it?”

The group nodded in agreement, and soon the game has just begun. Y/N couldn’t remember the last time a game of UNO got this intense. Each time Tom was about to call Uno, Harry would beat him to it, making him reset his hand. “Damn it Harry! Really? You always do this to me!” Tom yelled out in frustration. 

Harry had his fair shares of frustration every time Y/N drew, she made him skip his turn. “Sorry Harry, but it was the only card I had.” She chuckled, placing down a yellow skip. 

“What did I ever do to you?!” Harry squealed. 

Harrison was crying in agony as he realized that his last two cards weren’t any yellow cards.”Heart of the cards. Heart of the cards.” He muttered as he pulled a card from the deck. Harrison sighed in relief as he placed down a Draw 2 for Tom, which Tom was able to avoid as he placed down a Draw 2 for Y/N. Y/N continued the Draw 2 streak, passing it on to Harry. Yet, Harry managed to pull out a Draw 2 from his hand. All four were screaming at how intense the game was getting, praying that none of them were going to be that person, who would have to draw 8 cards. Y/N more than anyone else, knowing her hand no longer contained a Draw 2. 

She looked at Tom as he looked into her eyes. "If you love me you won't pull out a Draw 2.” Y/N thought in her head. She tried her best to show off that adorkable smile that he loved so much, and couldn’t possibly say no to. Unfortunately when it came to games, Tom gets very competitive, but that didn’t mean he loved her any less. 

He flashed back his adorkable smile in return and spoke, “Y/N. You know how much I love and how much you mean to me right?” he said trying to hold in his laughter.

“Dont--” she warned him, knowing what he was gonna do.

“I love you so much!” he sang. 

“You’re gonna make me draw 10 aren’t you?!” Y/N squeaked. 

Tom rubbed her back and tried to comfort her. “No, darling. No...I’m gonna make you draw 12.” As he pulled out a Draw 4, Y/N’s mouth dropped to the floor. After being together all this time, this is how he treats her?! By making her Draw 12 cards?!

Y/N slowly got up and walked away from the table as she headed into their shared room to scream out the frustration. Harrison and Harry looked at Tom, surprised at what he had just did. “Um, I don't know about you, but if you wanna save yourself a fight and sleep on a bed. I think you should go out get her some Oreos and flowers or something.” Harry said, stifling a laugh. 

Tom nodded as he walked out calmly and ran for the kitchen and garden, while Harrison calmly put down his last card softly calling out “UNO?”. 

Tom grabbed the an unopened box of Oreos and picked up a single rose from the garden outside as suggested by his younger brother. He really hoped Y/N wasnt that mad at him. She had to know it was a joke right?

Of course it was all silly. Y/N was never the type to become a sore loser, even if Uno was the menacing demon that sought out to break all friendships and relationships.

“Darling.” He knocked on the door as he cautiously entered the room. “Are you okay?”

Y/N jumped up from the bed as she made her way to open the door. There, Tom was greeted with a much delighted version of his girlfriend, smiled and all. “Was wondering what took you so long.” She rolled her eyes playfully, pulling him into the room. “I missed you.” Y/N says as she leans into her boyfriend intaking his scent.

Tom wrapped his arms around Y/N as best he could, given with all the stuff he grabbed for her. “We were just together half an hour ago.” He chuckled into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

“Yeah but that was a half hour too long. Plus I missed having this alone time together.” Y/N explained as she reluctantly pulled away from his embrace. “Oh my god, Im an ass I didnt even realize you brought stuff up here.” She took the Oreos and the flower from his hands setting them on the side of the bed.

“It’s okay. Actually I brought them up because I wasn’t sure if you were upset from the game or not because I didnt let you win.” He laughed grabbing her hands.

“Of course I wasnt. It sucked to lose but to be honest I was kinda releived because I was able to come up here and just watch my show in peace.” Y/N looked back at the Oreos and flowers, then looked right into to Tom eyes. “But...if losing and being upset means getting all this and you...then yeah Im mad as hell.” She laughed.

“Oh yeah...how mad?” He said, smirking as he got closer.

“Extremely...Im furious.” She whispered, continuing to close the gap between them.

As Tom continued to lean in closer he paused for a moment. “You know if it really meant that much to you I would always lets you win.” He whispered back.

“I know. I’d do the same for you.”

“No you wouldnt.” He giggled at her.

“You’re right I probably wouldnt.” She spoke out before closing the gap between them. Feeling his lips against her own, melting away into their own bliss.

Taglist:

@stan-ish230403

[pbandjesse]

Im so tired. I cant even go put the dishes away. I cant move. To sleepy. I want to clean the fish tank and stuff. But I dont think I can do it. Well see how I feel after I get this written up. 

Today was a really good day! But yeah I was tired. And that was hard. But it was still good. 

I slept good last night. But I woke up at like 545 because James was getting up. But I fell back asleep and had kind of terrible nightmares about my teeth falling out. And then what I got up for real James wasnt here because he went to go put gas in the car which was so nice but apparently there was a police presence and he got stuck at the exit for the highway. But he got home soon after I got up and I didnt feel so stressed anymore. 

I left here around 715 and it was a nice drive. Some crazy fog out there. But a nice drive regardless. 

I got to camp and parked near where I did yesterday. I might try to park somewhere else tomorrow. But well see. 

And honestly today was a lot of hurry up and wait. But it was still a lot of fun. Check in went easy. I did some embroidery on my bag. I cleaned. I want to look into getting an outdoor carpet for the art shack because the floor gets so wet from humidity that its just muddy all the time. Ill try to find something this weekend. 

I had my first group and they were just the sweetest little babies. Quiet and calm and sweet. It was just so nice. I have found so far that when they finish with my project they like to fold paper, draw, and play with clay. I am glad they are having fun. And I hope they leave learning something even if its just that they like playing with clay. 

I had a couple hours before my next group. So  I went and got a bagged lunch. Enjoyed my sandwich and then went to sit in homestead with CJ, Charlotte, and Lindsey. It was really hot today and muggy but it was a good day. 

I went up to the art shack again. And did some prep. And then I just got in the hammock and listened to a podcast. It was so cozy and I was enjoying listening to the kids playing games and watching the trees. 

And then I fell asleep! I didnt mean to but I was out. This wasnt just dozing this was asleep! I slept for like an hour. And when I woke up at 2 I was very disoriented and confused. But I got up and shook it off. And headed to the office to get some paper work and splash some water on my face. 

I got the sheet for writing down all the cleaning I do. Its pretty straight forward. I filled it out retroactively for yesterday and this morning. But then it was time for my next group!

Its really interesting to see how the different counselors act with their kids. Some are really hands on and some just are so asleep. But the second group was really sweet too. And it was a lot of fun making stuff with them. But I dont love that everyone stays with me? Like its nice that they like being there for the art and they want to make too, I dont mind that so much. But I legit had 6 adults compared to the 5 kids and I am way more awkward with the adults being there. But I am trying my best!!

Some of the adults stuck around after. We all hung out and played with the clay. I cleaned. And enjoyed talking to them. It was nice. 

Once I was all cleaned up I went for a little walk to drop off all the dried paintings from yesterday. When I noticed my earring was gone! Disappointing. Its from taking my mask on and off and I know I have more at home but I was still annoyed. 

But I got all the art dropped off and went down to Homestead. Where I accidently got my feelings hurt. This was not Cj's fault at all! She didnt mean to hurt my feelings and I know that. But we were talking about how camp is different because there is no sleep over. And where we might have slept if there was. And I told her I hope next year to live in a cabin and maybe convince James to come work there again. And she said oh! The girl from last year wants to come back next year because shes from over seas and only didnt come this year because of visa issues. And that Cjs told her to get her application is quick because someone else is here this year. And I was just. So upset. Like Cj didnt mean to hurt my feelings but it made me feel so rejected and dejected. Like I really want them to like me and keep me on and Im like a real art teacher. I want to be invaluable and change things up in the art program. But everyone tells me this girl is so sweet. And I just. Felt really hurt. 

Ill shake it off but it was a little heartbreaking, like who knows what next year will look like but I really wanted to have that in my backpocket for next year. But I guess I just got to be my very best this year. 

I headed back to art. Finsihed cleaning and putting things away. Checked at the office if I could help with anything. Got some packages. Sat on the porch for to long because I was hot and tired. But it was tim to go. 

 I walked to the car and headed home. It rained again and it was very hard but it didnt last as long. I was mad because a bunch of cars didnt have their lights on and were very hard to see. But I got burgerking and headed home. 

I had my food and fed sweetP and played a little animal crossing. I took a cool shower and now Im just sitting in bed. I am so tired but Im going to try my best to at least put the dishes away. 

Tomorrow is my easy day. No classes but lots of coverage. I dont exactly understand what that means for some of the programs but I will do my best! I hope you all have a good night. Take care of eachother. 

[ramblingshit]

Jane Eyre - 1997 - 4/5

Rochester: Drama Baby Version.

dude he's so obvious with his love and intent for her to be his bride but because he's indirect and she can't imagine that he could possibly mean her she's like well fuck off then mate leave me to my broken heart and he's all wtf ooooooh damn i can work with this ey welcome to jealousy miss eyre, omg his every look and word is literally an 'i love you' he's so confused ahahaha grumpy affff when janes off to see reed. he's so mad 'can you explain the 28 day week to me', all sulking on a wall and surprising her as she enters the grounds like what a drama queen, so sulkily angry as he's convinced she hasn't even thought or worried of him while she's been away; first time she admits she'll miss him even though its his plan to tear the truth of whether she loves him he is so momentarily stunned and affected by it before he gathers himself and moves on with yet again another round the fence declaration; all that fuckin talk of being direct and honest and now she's yelling at him and these mutherfuckers are gonna have some wild sex goddamn they're so passionate in anger and outrage and love and excitement - she's like o no let go of me you don't love me and he just goes in for the fkn kiss like bitch YOU THOUGHT, shes gonna eat his hair goddamn the sex is gonna be next level. throwing himself head-first into his love for her, loving and spoiling and being as intimate as appropriately possible, literally tells her blanche was a tool to make jane jealous and she's fkn overjoyed to hear he didn't like the pretty intelligent lady, arguing about her veil and he keeps trying to override her askance for plain and simple 'i'll get married in this if you continue' she snaps fucking eyyyyyyy take him by the balls m8, they're disgustingly sentimental for each other omg seriously its sickening they're fucking each other with their eyes, they fkn adore each other the chemistry is reaaaaaal, dramatic reaction shots the wedding band falls to the ground omg he's ALREAD Y MARRIED AHHHHH Mason nooo oh all the servants are here on this one whoops, dramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOO from rochester this is amazing WIFE?????? The DRAMA he STEPPED On the RING on the way to the house so awkward Mrs Fairfax was right to be nervous - he's ripping Jane's arm off dragging her along everyone is out of breath and confused - damn its actually a really cool set up, her room giant pillows nailed to the wall; all gypsy like, she's got hella tits damn bertha she mad as fuck, Jane's standing there in a veil as long as she is tall, all white and perfect and Mrs Fairfax beautiful lady she is is holding Jane while Rochester rages and rants and breaks this is such drama my dude exposition is strong with this movie - BIGAMYYYYY - for the first time they stand together and you can SEE the wall between them, he kissed Bertha on the head and holds her as he glares at everyone, then he just storms out without even looking at Jane, Fairfax is distraught for Jane damn son who needs a mum when you got a housekeeper. he's sitting outside she's got bags like bye doesn't even look at him what a powerplay he's storming after her tryna get a reaction acting like a little boy having a tantrum scared and angry HE just pitched her bag down the stairs yelling in her face she didn't love him she just wanted to be mrs rochester to have thornfield the raaaaage and she's ice cold man like fire and ice this is fkn great you thought he was loud before just wait my dude he just keeps insulting her like that's gonna work calling her a spoiled child lolol look in a mirror my dude, she won't even look at him - he is a fucking drama queen. and now he getting mad lolol. selfish prick the drama. he's so heartbroken and angry - OH MR ROCHESTER IS IT. he used to be able to yell over her but no more she just keeps talking and it overrides him.  I COULD NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JANE FAM. omg the chemistry 'you have a wife you belong to another' 'I BELONG TO YOU AND YOU BELONG TO ME WE ARE ONE SOUL' holy fuck how many romances can hit this hard 'help me to be strong' 'i need you... say you want me!' she's so moral and conscientious 'i am worth more than that.' ohhhhhhhhhh he just told her to GOO fuuuuuuuuuckkk she's gonna die - now he's regretting it and angryyyyyy. damn. DAMN. now she's suicidal and just sleeping on the ground sniffing the floor poor and homeless whoops and freezing. silly bish. shoulda stayed at ol mate's house. whoops she flopped over. this stjohn is like grecian and perfect but that look is 100% not attractive to me and he's creeping on her as she sleeps and rests he's looking at her too intimately. fuck jumping in time here months at a time its all a bit awkward - 'ive watched you carefully these last months' well that's fucking creepy. literally zero chemistry i love it. ciarans been off screen for like 5 minutes and im immediately bored and missing him. where is my drama baby. WIFE?? outrage and anger her eyes are fire and as he proposed she like stopped listening and started hearing edward's declarations instead.  'i am confused. my heart won't speak to me' 'then i will speak for it!' starts hallucinating rochester's voice calling for her lmao so dramatic 'Edward I am coming!!' Stjohn is like wtffff bye crazy. she all desperate running through teh fields dramatically but OH no the house is like non-existent. she's panting horrified can't even cope as she heard the story - she's not been anywhere near this passionately dishevelled and distressed the entire movie. I love Mrs Fairfax she's such an anxious mother. the dramaaaaa she promises to take care of him and he's like NAH FUCK THAT I WANNA FUCK he thinks she's pitying him he's so mad and embarrassed and upset 'SO YOU DIDN'T FIND A HUSBAND THEN'  'i found someone who wanted to marry me' he looks like he wants to shit a brick and set fire to the house and push the nuke button while flinging himself off a cliff - now she's laying on the jealousy he put on her with ingram. the drama he's tryna send her off because he's so embarrassed. she's passionate and certain - i will never leave your side again. nawwwww his tearsssssssss 'You are not your wounds!' 'you are everything that matters in teh world to me, edward.' he's sobbing i'm sobbing everyone's crying omgggggg this is so beautiful i love ciaran hinds she looks like she's having an orgasm just hugging him fuckin damn. nawwww happy families, she's lively and pretty and they have two kids and he's got sight in one eye and they LOVE EACH OTHER HAPPILY EVER AFTER MUTHAFUCKER YEEESSSSSSSS literally amazing I love this version.

...

Rochester:

commanding, calculating, loud, highly observant, fluent in many languages, very forward, playful, wants to always know what everyone's doing or thinking, self-deprecating, direct, like to sit in the drawing room and drink after dinner, asks by way of command - do this and its done, domineering, likes people to answer his queries directly and honestly and gets irritated immediately when they do not, enthusiastic and animated and passionate, not into secrets - will share his deepest and saddest and darkest tales with anyone remotely intimate with him, brutally honest but completely without intention to harm or offend, heavy sleeper, loves her pretty much by their first conversation, eyes light up his face make him look younger and brighter, lays it on too thick too fast, love is all-encompassing, the moment she pulls away he's off to lay on the jealousy and envy from Jane upon him and his lady friends who he doesn't give a shit about, deeply sarcastic, proud, superior, moody, sulky and childish bastard i love him its so pathetic and cute she's got so much power over him that he pretends she doesn't have, happy to lie by omission, won't let her storm off angrily - they'll keep talking until things calm between them and then they'll part, talks in riddles then gets frustrated when people don't understand him, selfish, jealous of anyone getting her attention but him, likes to torment her when he's angry, the law unto himself, jubilant in love with her, they dance together without music, entirely emotionally dependent on her love and affection - unhealthy relationship eyyy

hears a noise behind a door and as she leans to look the door opens and she silently moves with it, hiding behind it back against the wall as the entity enters and then leaves without seeing her - the door closes and she is frozen behind it and against the wall for a long few moments before bursting into action.

watch the sunrise together - so distracted by an argument that they miss it

"lets not argue then, lets shake hands and be friends'

woman in long white lace veil twitching out in front of the moonlit window, just a fkn creepy ass silhouette

[inthewordsofahalfgoddes]

Hmm the universe is really testing me fuck. Money money money u guess that's the focus now. Now I def can't move out not yet. Fuck. Why is my mom so selfish fuck if she had if waited a month and payed her part of the bill we wouldn't be in this situation ugh FUCK why ugh fuck I feel overwhelmed it isn't fair that everything is happening right now I'm gonna have to drop like all my money into the power again and water like fuck I'm terrible with money and shit but why are my parents worse then me????? Now everything I planned for has to be delayed again while I help them deal with this mess. Fuck FUCKKK I'm not even mad just sad like it's like they forget we have little children around. Food, power, water WiFi kids shouldn't have to worry about bills! Or that the basic utilities might not be around. This def is gonna take me over the edge I'm just so frustrated. No I can't get too fucked over all of this. I just gotta pick up more shifts and do what I haven't to do. I've had to pull money and solutions out of thin air before I can help fix this. You know what's funny this was in the reading I had. More burdens and responsibility will be put on me. I've been saying for a while now that I've reached a lvl of control on myself emotions and it's now being tested. Just gotta dig deep and do what's needed. This year was already predicted to be hard for me. That the change I want to see will be something I work for. From the jump tho 😂 the universe don't wanna play around ugh. Okay I gotta make whatever I make from this chart reading last for a bit and whatever I get from this check last too. I got whatever impulsive selfish buying I needed out of me the past December so now I should he good. Though I really wanted to buy a part with this paycheck it gotta go to food. Okay nah it's not all that bad tbh I'm just like overwhelmed so as long as I take it slowly and do the small things I'll work through it just puts a delay to what I want to do fuck. I still gotta wait for a call from avalon so I can start doing my counselling to get over the fucking rape, take extra shifts at work, pay the bills and really really be easy on myself. I'm trying and if I bully myself I'll fuck it all up. AA much as this news suck I'm happy I can finally release these emotions. I just want to curl in bed and do nothing but smoke and listen to music. I feel alone but I know I'm not I just gotta reach out I know that. This is gonna be a hard month but January is never east. I'm nappy batman been coming in my room in the mornings cause waking up to him purring is so soothing. I need to do a face mask and get ready for the reading. I still got a couple more signs to work through before I can head to her place. I got two more charts to draw up then I'll take a break from charts. Astrology has lost its charm a bit but I enjoyed meeting with people and taljjh about it with them. Oh what's soooo fucking funny is how everyone is bothering me now. Like all the people I left on read told that I don't wannabe hang around them or talk suddenly hits me up. You know I never believed the saying that they always come back but they literally do! Just leave me alone I can't stand men right now Jesus is the only one I'd even want to connect with. Hmm maybe it's because I feel weak right now that they hit me up now. If I was back to my old destructive says I'd prob respond cause I been feeling really lonely all I wanna do is have someone hug me do I can like cry and just like dump all my emotions out.I forgot how sad I actually am. Inside me just lives this very disappointed sad girl. But I gotta take care of her. All those crusty men just want to take from me anyway and I been knowing that. I hate when people fake care when all they want is some pussy honestly the fact that they hitting me up is making me so mad. I'm blocking then fuck them nah honestly the audacity. It ducks cause since the city not the biggest I know they see me travelling frim work and shit I'm so happy I got these headphones cause no ond wanna talk to me. I'm so mad abd the funny thing is most of them think im crazy ! It's so funny I'll be trying to idj treat them like a person and have conversation and they call me crazy for not assuming I don't wanna fucj! They're the crazy ones not me. I'm over here trying my best to live a good life and they like ugh I'm deading this right now. I'm not wasting my energy on it I've already wasted enough just writing about it. Okay I feel better. I know what I gotta do so imma do it. I feel the heaviness lifting. Good. When I get back I'm gonna do an inventory of my finances abd see what I'm working with. Capricorn gonna whip me into shape. I got until November to shoe the universe what I can do. I can do this I can handle it I might cry about it the ENTIRE way but I'm gonna get through it. I'm grateful everyone I love is alive and safe. I have a job that I can work at that I kove,peope who care about me and I'm alive. Be present be grateful be hopeful. A quick fuck you to that white boy who ruined new years for me and fucked with my gig. I hope he gets his karma abd regrets EVER fucking putting something in my drink. I'm so mad I even gave a window of oppritubity for it to happen. Never again nah I'm so mad a bit at myself for looking away for asec but mostly at the dumb ass who couldn't get me unless he had me unconscious. I'm ma's that I gotta deal with this. I'm mad that this happens to women and it happens often. In mad that my friends are all going through it. I'm just fucking mad I gotta be so on gaurd with people and I'm mad that people get upset when I'm cautious. I wish I didn't have to be so closed abdsuspicioys like I want to be trusting and kind abd soft but I can't! Only NY friends get to see that side because they would never try to hurt me. I don't deserve all this fucking nonsense but too bad thats bit how the universe works. Ugh htddgfrthhgddryyyrrguh I gotta charge my phone and do my face mask. Lmao my face a mess rift now! Gotta get cute before I go see Angarad. Such a pretty name I bet she's pretty too. I night of astrologyyessir. I wish I could just sleep tgo :-; I Jeep having terrible drereajs I can barely memba but I wwake up on high alert abd mad. Anywaysss